self improvement

3 Ways I Tried To Change My Life (and failed)

If there was ever a poster child for personal-development-aholics I’d be the girl at the podium introducing herself saying, “Hi my name is Lori Taylor. I’ve been addicted to personal development since 2007 and I have the best intentions “to take my life to the next level.”

That’s right. I’m an honest to goodness, real life seminar junkie.

I blame Tony Robbins.

And I can’t thank him enough for putting me on the path then that led me to where I am today. I love him like a hooker loves her pimp.  Only more. So please don’t misunderstand this post as my experiences being something I regret – it’s quite the opposite.

I AM better than I was when I began drinking the Kool-Aid. But if you’ve ever gone to an up close and personal live guru event, there is certainly a “crash effect” afterward.  (Sort of like the January blues after the holidays.)

Once home again, it doesn’t take long for stress and monotony to bring back old patterns.  Not to mention returning to loved ones who think all this stuff is “airy fairy,” resisting your efforts, mocking you, mocking the process, and constantly harping on what a load of crap it all is.

Yet I know most of it will work because I’ve experience it personally, if only briefly.

#1 Tony Robbins Event – Date With Destiny

This is a one week event, electrified with an atomic assault on your senses, as Tony uses master level NLP techniques, anchored by super-sized story-telling, infused with non-stop full-on masculine over-the-top energy…

Let me tell you something, even a freaking tree would be inspired. If Tony told it to, I’m confident even a rock would start rolling across the room determined to lose it’s moss, gladly hurling itself on the fire coals we walked over barefoot.

The room is electrified with 4,000 screaming and dancing rabid fans.  It’s worth every single dime just to see the show, even though it’s not really designed for the weak, the timid, or people on a budget (that’s for sure).

Even me, an extroverted over achiever, found it hard to implement when I got home because I went about it completely the wrong way.

I failed to do one very simple thing…

I should have asked myself, “How. Sustainable. Is. This. For. My. Life?

Lesson Learned: Do not bite off more than you chew. Pick and choose from the menu to avoid burnout. More is not better.

#2 The Vision Board

As a creative person, I thought this was the best thing since sliced bread and I couldn’t wait to get started.

Mapping out my vision for the ultimate life, grabbing poster board, magazines, and a pen to get it done in a weekend. I was off to the races for a better life.

And some of that manifested, like finding my soul mate, my nuva-ring surprise from the universe wrapped in the small package of two tiny identical boys – well let’s just say I did not see that coming and was not next to the self-made $1,000,000.00 check from Random House on my bulletin board.

Overwhelmed, faced with lack of time to be a great mom (to now five kids), have a career and take care of me in the process, resulted in anxiety or depression, depending on the moment (should I say minute). I was exhausted, mentally and physically, feeling hopeless, unable to find the light at the end of the tunnel.

Sound familiar?

I had lost total perspective on my life as I bumped into tree after tree looking for a forest. The thought of vision boarding my way out of this state was about as appealing as picking up cat hair off the floor with tweezers as opposed to a vacuum cleaner.

Have you ever had a day where drumming up enough energy to take a shower seems like it might be too much?  That’s where I found myself, not really knowing how I got here, meanwhile my board hung neglected in a corner, collecting dust at best.

I simply could not help myself…so what next?

Lesson Learned: Life can’t just be solved by a bulletin board.  Wasting time wanting something instead of just having it is the biggest barrier we face.

#3 The Game

Sarano Kelley, a friend of a friend called me and invited me to participate in his virtual VIP personal coaching group.  This was exactly what I needed!

I hit the ground running.

My husband was horrified as he watched his loving wife morph into a rabid hamster on her wheel, rabid to anyone who got in her way to get her carrot and win.

Daily coaching calls at 8 a.m.  Excel charts with every minute mapped, tied to a reward system based on how many leg lunges I did.  I was the Arnold Schwarzenegger of improving myself – I swear to God, it was something to see.

Unless you were my family…

My clients were thrilled. I was over-delivering, meeting all deadlines, making money and all around kicking ass…
I was miserable.

It was all I could think about – I was consumed by getting an A on everything I was doing; I rejoiced at the illusion there was something I could do to be happy.

I could make happiness happen, right?

Wrong.  After the game ended, I was back in the same old rut, staring in the mirror at the only white elephant in the room – me.

Lesson Learned: Trying to “become” someone or “achieve” to be happy is the biggest lie we tell ourselves and believe.

The bottom line is you don’t have to change YOU to be happy.

You just need to learn how to change your perception about your situation.  The emotion you experience comes from the meaning you’ve given to it, combined with how long you believe it’s going to last.

Even if you do nothing but become aware of every single time YOU let a tough situation drain your power, you will begin to make the shift away from the internal blame game. This awareness allows you to evolve into a quiet state of knowing you have the ability to BE anything you want to be.

And I’m going to show you how to do exactly that over the next 30 days – we’re just getting started – I’m looking forward to our journey together.


Erin shows overscheduled, overwhelmed women how to do less so that they can achieve more. Traditional productivity books—written by men—barely touch the tangle of cultural pressures that women feel when facing down a to-do list. How to Get Sh*t Done will teach you how to zero in on the three areas of your life where you want to excel, and then it will show you how to off-load, outsource, or just stop giving a damn about the rest.

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