Are you looking to be reassured about something in your life just now?
Perhaps, a few words of support that would make you feel much better at this time.
Well-placed words of reassurance can have a massive impact. They encourage us to get through the tough days, and help to keep us motivated when things are going well.
When you stumbled and hurt yourself while playing as a kid, with the tears and blood streaming down, it felt good to be gently told: ‘There, there. Everything’s going to be fine’, given alongside the bandage.
It was a much needed reminder that you would, most probably, survive that painful event.
Being adults, though, we realize the grown-up reality that everything doesn’t always turn out to be fine.
That’s why it’s even more valuable for us to be reminded that it is possible to come out the other side ñ albeit with a few bumps and bruises.
Having someone else reassure us that we can face up to today’s challenges can give us exactly the strength that’s required to tackle them head on.
But, isn’t it a sign of weakness to need the reassurance of others?
There’s No Weakness in Looking for Reassurance
Iíd be the first to suggest that you first try to develop a level of self assurance that means you donít allow other people to affect your views of yourself.
Reassurance is simply another form of encouragement.
The problem comes when you end up over-relying on someone else’s opinions to justify everything you do. Constantly seeking reassurance from others can point to issues with self esteem and a lack of confidence.
No one, however, is confident in themselves ñ who they are and what we can do ñ all of the time.
* We cope with the unknown by finding our best way through it
* We take action and make decisions that we hope will work out in our favor
* We deal with uncertainty by anticipating how we might better understand it
All you can try to do is your best.
The future is mapped out for none of us. No one can ever be totally sure how things will turn out.
True we plan, predict and make educated guesses, but there is never a money-back guarantee that we’ll end up with the outcomes we want.
It’s not surprising, therefore, that we often look to other people to provide us with the reassurance we lack. This background of self doubt and unforeseen circumstances can be distressing.
Surely, someone else can make us believe that tomorrow will turn out fine, after all.
That’s what we need to believe, despite what life throws at us. Both the good and the bad stuff.
Maybe you feel like this yourself sometimes. I know I do.
If so, who reassures you?
You don’t always have to rely on other folk to offer you the reassurance you need. Try this exercise:
Think of your own situation. What is on your mind about how things are going to turn out? What are some of your worries and fears? Are there factors which make you optimistic or give you hope?
Now, imagine someone trying to reassure you. Say to yourself: ‘If only they would tell me this, I’d feel so much better.’
What words are you looking for them to say which would help you? When you’ve thought of these words of comfort, write them down. Read or say them out loud.
This is the reassurance you need to hear.
Have you given someone else a little reassurance recently? What did you say that kept them going?
Or, for yourself, what words of reassurance would help you just now?
Please share your thoughts in the comments section below. I’d love to hear from you.
About the author:
Scott McIntyre is a great believer in how ordinary people can do great things everyday. He writes about how you can live a colorful life right now at Vivid Ways. You can also add color-in your life by following Scott on Twitter.
* Photo credit: Fazen