How to Stop Caring So Much about What Others Think of You

How do you stop caring so much about what others think of you? Don’t start!

Do you care so much about what others think of you that you repress or sideline what you would really like to be or do? It seems strange when put baldly like that, but that is what most of us do. We stop ourselves from doing or being something because we let our minds run wild with the judgements and criticism we will receive if we do or be that thing. From learning a musical instrument to moving to another country to skipping down the street in your business suit – how many choices have you squelched because you cared so much about what other people thought?

First, dear reader, most people aren’t paying that much attention. Secondly, what we imagine may be so far from the truth that we’re stopping ourselves for nothing.

I am an Access Consciousness facilitator and let me just say – for a number of years, I assumed everyone would judge me and my decision for being too weird, so I kept my work on the down low. As soon as I decided ‘to go for it,’ the people I assumed would have the biggest problems and judgements about my line of work were actually the ones most interested in this wacky work.

Think of something you’ve always wanted to do but you let the fear of others’ judgements and criticism derail you. Now, my recommendation is to ask, what is the worst that could happen? Would you die? Would you maybe lose a friend or two (the ones that criticize everything you do anyway)? Now, close your eyes and imagine choosing that ‘something you’ve always wanted to do’ and think of the fun you could have if you let go of those worries? Indulge yourself in that imagining for a few hours or days. If it is really inspiring and inviting to you, who cares what others think? Are you living your life, or do you just have a life?

Do you realize that other people’s judgments can become your own? I have a friend who was told by a ballet teacher when she was only 6 years old that she was clumsy, had no gracefulness or talent. In turn, my friend told others for the next 40 years how clumsy she is. She didn’t allow herself to take dance lessons for 40 years! That is 40 years of joy and fun denied because of one person’s judgement. She is never going to be on the stage at Covent Garden, but she loves dancing now! What pleasure are you denying yourself because you believe the criticism of others? Truly, who cares?

What a shame that people hide things about themselves because they are worried about reactions and judgements. One example of this is sexuality. I chose to ‘come out’ on CBC (Canadian radio and TV station) at the age of 15.  At the time I was volunteering at an AIDS hospice in Regina, Canada, where I grew up.  CBC had a show called Utopia Café and came to interview people about the emotional risks of coming out as gay, and I volunteered, shaking slightly in my boots. And the freedom that I felt, and that was created from being willing to say, ‘who cares?’ and go for it, has colored my life to this day. I learned that day to be true to me and not worry about what people thought of me.

I have learned over the years to be true to myself and not worry about what other people think of me. Because the truth of it is, it winds up hurting me in the long run, not them. I am the one missing out by carrying the weight of someone else’s words around with me – I can tell you the person who passed the judgement on me isn’t being affected.

So, how do you stop caring so much about what others think of you? As Bob Newhart said in his psychiatrist character, “just stop it!” We do get to choose whether we are influenced by unspoken and often imagined judgements, or whether we grab our courage and choose what fulfills and expands us and makes us happy. We are told that every person is unique – why not celebrate and exploit that rather than trying to fit in and not receive any judgement? Then no one can control you except you. So – would you be willing to say, ‘who cares’ sometime soon?


Christopher Hughes is a communications mentor, arts and antiques curator. He has an undergraduate degree in Opera and Song from the University of Western Ontario and a master’s degree in Integrated Marketing and Communications from QUT. Chris spent time in the world of professional opera and later used his voice in various industries, from singing telegrams to voiceovers for videos, cartoons and elevators. He is currently the Managing Director and curator at the Antique Guild in Brisbane and Vice President of Australian Antique an Art Dealers Association. Chris facilitates classes for Right Voice for You and The Elegance of Living; both special programs by Access Consciousness. Learn more here. He desires is to help people to “live beautifully” and encourages everyone to always take the best things off the shelf and use them, including the best parts of themselves. Follow his work here.


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10 Responses to How to Stop Caring So Much about What Others Think of You

  1. +-Life. says:

    Thanks for this article!

    I’d also like to add that one of the top things people regret on their deathbed is actually caring too much about what other people think of them, so much that they didn’t have the courage to live a life that’s true to themselves.

  2. Mark says:

    You are right. I chose my form, my way of being and I act accordingly. Help me with this wonderful site: https://bit.ly/2lX4bS0

  3. Thanks for this article! this is actually considering what peoples thins about them

  4. Daniel says:

    Hey Chris,

    Thank you for this article! It is a really important thing to not have too much care to what other people think of you and always prioritizing to listen to your own heart and intuition of deciding whether something is the best for you or not.

    It is right what you say in your post that sometimes we worry too much about what other people think about what we about to decide in our life. The truth is people won’t care so much about that and the only thing that prevents you to decide that best decision for you is your own fear.

    Although of course, we must never make ourselves deaf to what other people say, in my opinion. But I think the important thing is always have a filter to see what is good and what is not good for us from what other people say. We ourselves are the only one who know our complete situation after all.

    Also it interest me when reading about your friend which neglect the ballet dancer she likes in the span of 40 years just because she got the opinion that she is no good at it. It is really such a shame and it really makes the point of not too worry too much about other people opinion in doing what you think is the best for you

    Great post!

    Daniel

  5. Thanks for this article dude

  6. Jewel says:

    Thank you so much.This article really motivating me

  7. Linda says:

    If one believes in himself and makes decisions based on what he wants and wants instead of being influenced by the decisions of others, he has already won at the start, regardless of how the result will be. Never stop believing in ourselves
    https://bit.ly/2p24Gvl

  8. Yvonne says:

    That’s a good article, thanks!
    Doesn’t matter what someone thinks about you, because it’s not his/her life but yours!

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