self improvement

How to Exude Confidence and Truly Express Yourself in New Social Situations

Do you ever wish you could walk into a room of unknown people and be completely at ease?

When you talk with someone new, you share your thoughts, feelings and opinions with heart, grace and openness.

This is reciprocated, loved and you love the other person for doing the same.

Your interactions continue this way. You gain a lovely momentum that is grounded in your unique perspective, humor and confidence.

Others want to be around you and you want to be around them.

You feel creative, energized and excited because you shared yourself authentically.

However, this is not always easy to do.

I have experienced many times of feeling the opposite. I can easily become critical of myself,  insecure, shy and often don’t know what to say when others are expressing themselves confidently.

Yet, over time I have learned to be more secure in myself and with others.

There is a way to build our confidence and shine brighter in the world.

Why We Struggle to Express Ourselves Confidently

The times when I have struggled to express myself, or struggled with feeling small in the world, it was because I had lost touch with the spontaneous expression of who I was. I lost with what I felt and what I truly wanted to express.

In this space I became stuck in my head, stuck in self-doubt, and stuck in a sense of fogginess around what I thought and felt.

I became disconnected from my personal story and disconnected from the attached emotional experience.

Our Stories Matter

There is a connection between putting words to our experiences and building confidence.

I have found that the more I do so, the more comfortable I am in myself and with others.

With the busyness of life, it is easy to have our own experiences wiz by. We often don’t often take the time to integrate or feel into what we have gone through. This can create a sense of disconnect from what we are feeling and from our own sense of meaning in the world.

We must begin to realize, at a deep level, that our experiences matter. They matter to us, they matter to others. These are the experiences that have shaped us, that have made us who we are. The miracle moments, the healing moments, the inspired, depressed, anxious and beautifully human ones.

When we express our stories we process them, love them and learn from them. This helps us stand more confidently and authentically in who we are. We become clearer about what we have gone through, what matters to us, and what makes us who we are today.

Using Writing to Hone Your Confidence and Self-Expression

Grab a journal or a blank Word document. Go in with an open mind and write how you are feeling in the moment, one word at a time. Keep this exercise casual, just for you. Allow whatever bubbles up to bubble up.

As we write, take the pressure off and don’t worry about grammar or structure.


As our words surface so will our emotions.

We must allow ourselves to slow down and experience these feelings. Each time we do this, we will be processing, loving, and exercising our voice. Each word helps us become clear and more confident in who we are.

By expressing our present, we will become connected to our past. We have the ability to heal old wounds, to get clear about who we are truly and what truly matters to us.

Speak your uniqueness. Speak your truth. Speak your heart.

Own who you are, what you think, and feel.

Now when in situations where you might be triggered to feel small, recall all the stories you have been feeling into. Honor these words. They carry gravity. They are the bricks of a strong foundation holding and supporting you.

Know you are unique, beautiful, wise, funny and full of love.

Learn to love who you are, learn to love your past, your present and the inspiration you can bring to the world. Now is your time to be heard, to inspire and to be deeply connected to yourself and others.

Shine Brightly. Shine Confidently.

Have you ever struggled with expressing yourself? Did you gain any wisdom from the experience? Share in the comments below.

Jackie Johansen is a writer and soul seeker. She is passionate about how our stories have the capacity to create huge, positive change. She blogs at Finally Writing, where she combines personal development with writing strategies to help you write the words that will inspire the world. If you ever feel sitting down to write is a struggle check out free  Finally Writing Toolbox It contains resources to get you immediately aligned with your creative self and writing from the inside out. You can also join Jackie on Twitter @finallywriting. 


Erin shows overscheduled, overwhelmed women how to do less so that they can achieve more. Traditional productivity books—written by men—barely touch the tangle of cultural pressures that women feel when facing down a to-do list. How to Get Sh*t Done will teach you how to zero in on the three areas of your life where you want to excel, and then it will show you how to off-load, outsource, or just stop giving a damn about the rest.

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