‘Intensity’ courtesy of of Julie Pflanzer/FineArtAmerica
It’s not enough to desire to change.
Even shutting your eyes, gritting your teeth and repeating “I will change, I WILL change, I WILL CHANGE” won’t do the trick.
Some people say “just make a decision” to change. And that sometimes works (If the surrounding psychological conditions are right).
But what if you don’t know the processes involved in making a change? (Yes, there are specific processes!) There are numerous change techniques available on the internet, and some, like EFT are very gentle. But if you want to make a quick, powerful, lasting change – you need something stronger than desire.
You need energy: an intense, powerful, lightening-bolt of energy.
One way to think about making a change is in terms of physics: it takes more energy to get an object to start moving that it does to sustain that movement.
This is one reason why ‘desiring’ to change is not enough. You may feel very strongly that you want to change but unless that ‘want’ power is directed correctly and effectively it won’t effect a change.
Let’s use a metaphor to make this clearer.
Think of a strongly established (negative) belief as being similar to an electromagnet, those large ones that they use in scrapyards to lift cars. The more energy you run through it, the more powerful it becomes and the more it attracts (metal/other thoughts) to itself.
A strong belief constantly has mental energy running through it, and whilst it operates it attracts incoming information and then distorts the interpretation to fit in with the beliefs central theme.
For example, if your ‘magnetic’ belief is that you can’t be successful, then (because of it) you might tend to discount and ignore any successes you do have. You might not see your small achievements because you are automatically invalidating them. Beliefs have a particular sorting effect on the content of our thoughts that causes us to exclude information that contradicts them (even if those contradictions are good for us!).
Beliefs are also known as frames and what do their physical counterpart – picture frames – actually do? They include certain things, and exclude others…. They draw your attention to what is in the frame and encourage you to keep looking at it. They frame!
The stronger your belief, the more it frames your perspective according to its theme. And the stronger it is, the harder it is to change, that is, to see outside the frame. That’s why battling with a belief is a bit like stretching a rubber band, only to have it bounce back.
Do you see why “I really, really WANT to change” is not enough? It’s like trying to budge a ton weight by stroking it.
What you need is a lightening bolt that will disable, even cripple, the machinery running that electro-magnet belief.
Where do you get that energy from?
Your emotions. Your strong, strong emotions…
Two of perhaps the most powerful emotional states come from your YES and your NO. Isn’t that right?
Don’t you have things you can say a passionate YES to? I mean, really say YES too?
In fact, Bobby Bodenhammer, developer of www.renewingyourmind.com said to me once that life consists of what you say ‘yes’ and what you say ‘no’ to. If they have that much determining effect, surely they have the power to commission and decommission beliefs…think about it….
From age two you have practiced the power of NO, have you not? Are their certain things that repulse you: that you would never do? What if someone tried to take your kidney away? Would you be able to say NO to that? A congruent, forceful, focus NO has a lot of power.
The thing is: most people are too sedate or bound with cultural taboos to change this way.
One problem is that your mind is designed to reinforce your own personal status quo. That’s why it takes the short, powerful burst of energy to disable the old belief. It takes your focused power of NO to decommission it, to put a spoke in the works.
Equally, when you use your outrageously passionate YES to turn a thought into a new belief, the more passion you use, the faster the belief will become a self-reinforcing attractor. It will become like that electromagnet and start drawing attention to itself.
But because of cultural, social and personal inhibitions, do you have the courage to act crazy enough to get your passion up? If you are normally fairly reserved, if displays of emotion are frowned upon in your circles (and I’m English, we just don’t DO stuff like that!) then your cultural frames are going to bind you to not changing.
Your body and mind might not be used to acting in such a way as to generate that strength of state. But the truth is, you are just going to have to get used to it. The average time it takes to change a belief using this method is ten minutes.
In fact, I used it with a client a few days ago. I got her to elicit a massive NO to one belief, and later, a powerful YES to her new beliefs. She reported instant changes in thinking.
So often we get caught up the content of a belief. The belief says “You’re worthless” and you shout back “No I’m not”. The belief says “Yes you are” and so on! It’s like trying to punch your way out a plastic bag.
But when you step back from a belief, mentally step back, you automatically put yourself in a position of power.
This is a secret to the functioning of human consciousness that not many people know – your ability to step back from your own thoughts gives you a structurally dominant position from which to change them.
The mere fact that you are thinking ABOUT your thought rather than engaging and struggling WITH it MEANS you can more easily change it.
From this position ask yourself:
- How does this belief serve me?
- Should it be getting rent free space in my head?
- Do I want it?
- What has it cost me so far?
- What will it continue to cost me?
- What won’t happen if I continue to use it?
- What will happen if I don’t use it any more?
- What will that open up?
Answering these questions can be enough to weaken a belief that has been in your mind for years. It is at this point you use your passionate NO to cripple and decommission that belief.
Next, you need to ask yourself:
What would I like to believe instead?
- What would that be like?
- How would that change my experience of myself/this situation?
- Is that good for me and those involved?
And it is at THIS point that you use your passionate YES to commission a new belief. If you use enough passion the belief will start operating like that electromagnet, and attracting your attention to it, interpreting your incoming thoughts, giving you a new perspective.
Before doing this process, you might not believe it will work. That’s fine. Just use it anyway. The change will be your proof.
“Do you want to put the ideas in this article into practice for your own benefit? If you want know how to use THE technique a Ph.D used to install wealth principles in his mind and go from broke to being a millionaire – go to www.overcomingprocrastination.co.uk – and sign up to get the starter PDF for free. What is in this article will make that process even more powerful.
Douglas Cartwright is a Meta-Coach who helps professionals who are feeling ‘stuck’ to develop the personal resources they need to be more effective at work. He is developing a course called The Personal PowerPack which contains full details on the above technique, and much more. If you want a 28 minute free taster-audio go to www.livingwords.net He also offers personalised one-to-one coaching, and you can find out more details at www.livingwords.net/freeintro.html
How to Get Sh*t Done will teach you how to zero in on the three areas of your life where you want to excel, and then it will show you how to off-load, outsource, or just stop giving a damn about the rest.