Are you always waiting for your friends to go to the movies with you?
Do you rely on your parents or siblings when there is something that needs to be fix at home?
Do you depend solely on your colleagues at work?
If you answered yes, then you should listen to what Pandora Poikilos said:
“We are so accustomed to the comforts of “I cannot”, “I do not want to” and “it is too difficult” that we forget to realize when we stop doing things for ourselves and expect others to dance around us, we are not achieving greatness. We have made ourselves weak.”
Absolutely. Being too dependent will blindfold you to your own abilities. You will never know all the amazing things you can actually do if you do not try.
So check out these 5 steps to stop being a helpless baby always depending on someone else. Instead, it is time to be independent, get things done and let your awesomeness shine!
“Fake it till you make it.”
Accept that no one is going to accompany or help you with anything. You are on your own. This is an important mindset because if you keep thinking that someone will come and rescue you, you will end up waiting and do nothing. So knock that off.
Play the pretend game if you have to. Act as if you are all alone in a new city and you know no one. Whatever that you want, you have to get it yourself. Remember that.
2) Make a plan
“If you hear a voice within you say “you cannot paint,” then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.” – Vincent Van Gogh
Now you may be restricted by fear. But the only way to conquer it, is to face it head on. Follow Eleanor Roosevelt’s advice – do one thing every day that scares you.
Write down all of the things that you want to do in a month. Start with something small and work up to bigger things. Don’t worry about the results or how others think, just empty your mind and do it. This is the best way you gain courage and confidence.
I’ve always been scared to shop alone and I wanted to change that. So I pushed myself to go window shopping for 30 days continuously. It seems so simple and silly but I struggled. In the end, I’m really happy that I did it and overcame the fear.
“The expert at anything was once a beginner.” – Helen Hayes
When you are learning something new, it’s normal to make mistakes or you may be unable to complete them. We learn the most by failing, so don’t take it personally. After all, you are not obliged to score full marks on everything, you just need to try again.
Seek guidance. There are so many how-to sites, Youtube videos and Dummies books. Ask your friends or colleagues for instructions on how to do things you don’t understand. Insist that you do it yourself. Keep on trying until you make it.
“Confidence doesn’t come out of nowhere. It’s a result of something… hours and days and weeks and years of constant work and dedication.” – Roger Staubach
So, you managed to change your car tire alone? Now you know how to use a new piece of software? Well done! Write down the steps you used to accomplish those goals so you can always refer back to it. Don’t forget to celebrate and keep a record of all your achievements.
These victories prove that you can succeed as long as you’re willing to get your hands dirty and try. Next time when you are feeling a lack of confidence in attempting harder issues, review these triumphs and move forward.
5) Make a habit
“It’s not what we do once in a while that shapes our lives. It’s what we do consistently.” – Anthony Robbins
People are lazy, and it’s easy to go back to the old ways – always expecting others to get things done for you. So remind yourself don’t treat this as a one month project and then forget about it. You need to continue doing stuff and trying things out whenever you can.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not asking you to end any relationships or you have to be totally alone. Being self-reliance is a wonderful process of discovering your potential and building a better you.
Now it’s your turn. Besides these 5 steps, do you have other suggestions on how to be more independent? Share them in the comments.