Why is it so hard for you to say, “thank you” to you, when you say thank you to complete strangers every day (or at least I hope you do).
If someone holds the door, or even when a waiter brings you the check asking you for money, you say “thank you”.
Heck many times you take the time to give lip service to be polite, but at least you say it, right?
So if it’s that easy, when is the last time you told YOU thank you?
Thank you for my beating heart, thank you lungs for my breath, thank you legs for all you do…
Do you ever say that? It’s doubtful.
Yet, if you want to connect with your true power, your subconscious, or spirit, taking the time to simply say thank you is a GAME CHANGER.
If you don’t believe me, try one of these 3 power tricks to supercharge your day with gratitude.
#1 Use Better Words
My mama told me too many times to count, “Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words will never hurt you”. She was a liar. And if you believe this, you’re lying to yourself, too, so STOP.
Language is EVERYTHING.
Should you believe everything you hear? Of course not, especially if someone else says it.
Do you anyway? Usually.
On some level you let criticism feed into your low self-esteem to confirm what you already “know”…you aren’t good enough.
Yet even if you manage to overcome critique from others knowing they can’t define you if you don’t let them, you’re still only part of the way there.
Because that’s not what’s draining you, really.
With an internal assault of words, constantly comparing and contrasting, you are giving yourself a 24/7 commentary on how you’re doing, every single minute, is what’s holding you back.
This is your big OPPORTUNITY to become aware of how you are feeling! Listen to your crazy thoughts.
Then instead of saying, “Don’t be an asshole today”, try telling yourself, “I’m going to be careful with my words today.
Or, change your words from, “I’m NOT going to get pissed off today” to, “I’m going to be in a great mood today.”
Let me give you a perfect example of how this works.
My son is a super stud baseball pitcher. He throws hard, fast and straight down the middle. He’s almost impossible to hit. But, if you are a super stud hitter and make contact with that ball? It’s going one place – straight out of the park to home run city.
Like every other pitcher, he loves no hitters, but if they got hot, he melts from anxiety of not being “perfect”. Until I told him to THINK differently by accepting they were hitting because they were that good, not because he sucked.
I told him to start telling himself, “Wow, that guy was a hitter –nice. Now let’s see what the next guy’s got – because he’s gonna have to bring it to hit off me.”
I’ll tell you the truth – he didn’t believe me at first – until I had him do a simple exercise which you should try now…
Walk across the room and tell yourself over and over, “I’m NOT going to fall down.”
Where were your eyes? Most likely on the ground – not up in a state of power.
You focus your attention on what you aren’t going to do, putting your body in a state to actually do the thing you are trying to avoid!!!
Now try this exercise again.
This time say, “I’m going to stay up.”
Where are your eyes now?
They can’t help but look upwards or even towards the sky. By telling yourself you’ve got this, you will walk across the room confidently, your eyes naturally looking up or straight ahead, increasing your chances of staying upright.
Eliminate any words like:
Not, can’t, won’t, stop, not going to, don’t want
Change your language patterns to:
Will, can, do, want, must, believe
“I’m not going to eat crap today” to “I’m going to be the picture of health today.”
If you can be aware, CORRECT your language until it becomes a habit, this one small shift will shift the energy in your entire body and spread into your life.
#2 Use A Better Tone
I bet you could tell me at least 3 things your parents told you growing up that still sting today.
And guess what?
You say them to yourself more than you think.
Listen to your inner voice, what does it sound like? Mine comes across with a tough love mojo which comforts me.
When I get scared, I immediately jump on me, triggering anger and almost immediately tell myself, “Get your big girl pants on, don’t be such a wuss.”
It works, I guess. I do stomp forward aggressively – getting it done. Of course in the process I push people out of the way who may have been able to help me get there more effortlessly had I opened my energy up to receive help.
Do you see how this isn’t serving me? Anytime you use getting angry to move out of fear means you’re living an angry life.
Start talking to yourself the way you would a child.
When you make a mistake or do something you aren’t proud of try telling yourself what you’d tell a child. Or just find the words you wish someone would give to you.
“Of course you bit their head off. You hadn’t eaten, were working on 3 hours sleep and were getting ready to miss a deadline. You love to achieve, get things done and keep your promises. Just apologize to your co-worker and do your best to be more collaborative under stress and remember you’re doing the best you can with the resources you have.”
Sounds simple, right? It is!
Being empathetic to YOU should be easy.
It’s what we all want from the people in our lives. So why not start with you? If you don’t give it to yourself, who will?
Why bully yourself with words of wisdom like, “You are such an ass when you’re in work mode. Why do you jump on people? You can be really selfish when you are stressed – no wonder everyone avoids you at work”?
How does that serve you when you are choosing the words and can say ANYTHING you want to you???
Language is EVERYTHING as is the TONE in which YOU speak to YOU.
#3 Write It Down
This one trick will change your filter for your life
No matter what happens to your day, before you go to bed, write down 3 things that happened that day that made you smile.
Chances are you’re probably so caught up in seeing the spots of your day, trying to clean those up, you’ve forgotten some of the good stuff.
Finding kindness in your day can be as simple as actually noticing and remembering the store clerk who smiled at you, someone who held your door, or even an unexpected hug from a child.
Believe and you will receive.
The only thing you need to do all day is LOOK for three things to write down. A simple thank you is something worth noting.
Please take the time over the next week to practice this. You’ll be shocked at the kindness you DO receive but miss because you are too focused on what you are NOT getting.
Changing your life is hard. Changing your perception in which you see your world is EASY.
That’s the outrageous part!
How to Get Sh*t Done will teach you how to zero in on the three areas of your life where you want to excel, and then it will show you how to off-load, outsource, or just stop giving a damn about the rest.