Communication is key to any relationship. Without communication, we are unable to connect as human beings. According to Tony Robbins, love and connection is one of the key basic needs we want as human beings.
To help us in this department there are two anagrams that can remind us of what we can do to improve our communication and strengthen our relationships.
To refresh your mind on what an anagram is, it’s a word or phrase that can be re-arranged to spell out another word or phrase using the exact same letters.
So what are the two anagrams?
1. LISTEN – SILENT.
The biggest communication problem is we do not listen to understand. We listen to reply. – Unknown.
Do you ever find yourself having to talk over others to get your voice heard? Or having to repeat yourself several times until someone hears what you are trying to say? Or perhaps simply just feeling overwhelmed by information overload that you lose connection to yourself in the process.
If you answered yes to any of the questions above, you may want to slow down and practice being silent and ‘listen’ing.
“The quieter you become, the more you can hear”. – Ram Dass
Be it in your interaction with another human being, or listening to your own intuition, it will help you build a stronger, deeper connection with yourself and others.
2. CHICKENING – CHECKING IN
To strengthen your connection in a relationship it is important to stop ‘chickening’ and start ‘checking in’.
However, often times we ‘chicken’ out when it comes to communicating what we want and in expressing our needs because we are afraid of what others may think of us. So we ignore our feelings and let it bottle up inside of us. Overtime, this can lead to resentment and a loss of connection.
I recently had a conversation with a friend who is a relationship mentor. He shared with me something he read in a book. In this book, there’s a couple who would check-in with each other and ask, on a scale of 1-10, what kind of husband/wife was I this week? And what made it a ____?
This may be an edgy question for some, as it can open up some uncomfortable conversations.
However, the purpose of this exercise is to allow each person to speak their mind openly and honestly about something that may have bothered them earlier in the week, so that any issues or misunderstandings can be cleared and resolved.
Now I would suggest prior to engaging in this type of conversation, to work out some additional ground rules to be agreed upon by all involved, in order to create a safe space to talk openly. These rules could be to remain open-minded, to listen and stay silent until the other person finishes talking, to stick with facts and feelings.
The beauty of this exercise is it alleviates the need for you to be a mind reader and it allows you to get feedback from those who are important to you. It encourages you to express what’s on your mind so that you can grow together and help each other show up to be a better version of yourself and for each other.
So next time, when you are having a conversation with someone where you’d like to build rapport with, be it in a personal or professional setting, imagine how powerful you’ll be as a communicator in knowing you’ve got these anagrams in your back pocket. It can help you create trust, awareness and connection in your relationships.
Theresa Ho is a life coach, a blogger and the founder of Rejuvenate Your Essence. She believes life is too short to live your life based on others’ expectations and is dedicated in helping people find their essence so that they can live their best lives. If you like this article check out Why losing your job may be the best thing that ever happen to you? Get her Free 5 Part Action Guide to Live Mindfully. Be Free + Reclaim your Power meditation track.