10 Signs You Don’t Love Yourself Enough (And What To Do About It)

 

 

Note: If you find yourself feeling uncomfortable while reading this, remind yourself that uneasiness can signal a positive change; in fact, the greater the discomfort, the bigger and better the coming change.

Instead of turning away, I encourage you to do the opposite: mark the ones you like the least, choose the worst one of those and dive into the “Step by Step” below.

 

The Signs

  1. You find yourself pushing to do just a little more of what you do not want to be doing, and then a little more after that, and…

 2.  You become angry at yourself when you make mistakes.

 3.  You are critical of your decisions, your behavior and parts of your body too; in general, you do not say nice things to yourself, but you say lots of the other kind.

 4.  You put off eating, urinating and other important needs.

 5.  You have a tendency to put others first.

 6.  You find it difficult to speak up for yourself.

 7.  You make some personal decisions NOT based on your likes and dislikes, NOT based on your needs and desires but on the hope of getting someone’s attention or approval.

 8.  Your plants struggle from a lack of attention; you do not clean your pet’s dishes and sleeping area very often.

 9.  You do not see a way to make your dreams happen, or you do not have dreams.

 10.  You wish you could live your life your way.

 More Care?

The following is for those who have trouble with number four, and it is a good illustration for the others too.

  • How long do you suffer with that headache, tooth or earache before seeking relief?
  • How long do you put up with that annoying drip in the sink, the rug you keep tripping over and that problem with the microwave?  
  • Are you still wearing those ill-fitting pants, putting up with that noise in the car and struggling in the dark because of that same broken light?

In general, those who give themselves little have little to give others, and of course their own lives are more difficult too.  The first step to changing every one of the 10 Signs is to realize that self-care is not something extra, not something for when you have time.  It is absolutely vital

 Step By Step

A. Start by letting any lack of self-care be okay (and not something else to hit yourself with.  Letter D below can help with this).  A universal truth is that you have always done the best you can, just as you are right now—always.

 B. Next, give yourself permission to feel uncomfortable: strangely enough, stepping up to give yourself more care can feel somewhere between slightly irritating and very painful; but, after awhile, these feelings weaken and disappear.  You can disappear them faster by letting yourself experience whatever emotional discomfort comes up.

 C. Now, choose one of the 10 signs; make it the one that brings up the most negative feelings OR the one you just want more of in your life.

 D. Whenever you find yourself NOT caring for you in that way, take a deep breath and release the tension in your body.  On each out-breath continue to let go and relax.

 E. In this calmer, relaxed state, you will find that choosing self-care is easier.  As you begin to act, continue breathing and letting go.

 F. In the beginning, there can be a gap between deciding to act and actually doing it; if you find this to be true, focus on acting sooner, rather than immediately, and continue reminding yourself that you are doing the best you can.

 G. Keep a record: write the change you want at the top; make a mark each time you act (along with any thoughts you have about doing it sooner or better); and total them daily, weekly and monthly.

 H. If there are times when you just cannot act: breathe and relax; let those times be okay, they are part of the process.  Do not keep track of them, except for notes on how to do better.

 I. After working with the first one awhile, choose a second Way to increase your self-care.

This is the harsh truth: there is only person on the planet who has been assigned the job of caring for you; and there is nobody that can do it as well as you—nor is there anybody else truly interested. 

Support yourself by writing the following in big letters and posting it in easy view: My care and happiness are completely up to me!  It has always been this way.  It will always be this way. 

And make self-care a life-long process, because it is what you (and those in your life) deserve.

 

5 jpeg   Daniel Speraw:  I began writing in 1982 with a nationally-syndicated newspaper column and have written 9 books—all on self-growth; I currently have 2500 followers on Twitter (@DanielSperaw); and on my blog you can find “Let OTHERS Build YOUR Self-Esteem” at this link: http://bit.ly/EsteemForYou


GET THE BOOK BY
ERIN FALCONER!

Erin shows overscheduled, overwhelmed women how to do less so that they can achieve more. Traditional productivity books—written by men—barely touch the tangle of cultural pressures that women feel when facing down a to-do list. How to Get Sh*t Done will teach you how to zero in on the three areas of your life where you want to excel, and then it will show you how to off-load, outsource, or just stop giving a damn about the rest.

11 Responses to 10 Signs You Don’t Love Yourself Enough (And What To Do About It)

  1. 123823 318070I conceive this internet site has got some real fantastic details for everybody : D. 692402

  2. 530948 378832Oh my goodness! a great write-up dude. Thanks a lot Nonetheless We are experiencing trouble with ur rss . Do not know why Not able to sign up to it. Maybe there is anybody acquiring identical rss dilemma? Anyone who knows kindly respond. Thnkx 239064

  3. 731929 72640extremely good post, i undoubtedly adore this internet site, maintain on it 125860

  4. 多くの人が女性のボディセックス人形を買うのは簡単ではないと思いますが、それはまったく真実ではありません。 あなたがそれを購入したいなら、インターネットはあなたの親友であり、あなたは確かにまったく問題なくそれを購入することができます。 ラブドール 購入 https://yourdoll.jp/product-category/real-love-doll-price-5/

  5. wmdollus/ says:

    Youre so cool! I dont suppose Ive read something like this before. So good to find somebody with some authentic ideas on this subject. realy thanks for beginning this up. Sex Doll Blog

  6. PT78NR109H says:

    EIS Components is the stocking Distributor of PT78NR109H, we specialize in Texas Instruments all series electronic components. PT78NR109H can be shipped within 24 hours after order. If you have any demands for PT78NR109H, Please kindly submit an RFQ here or send us an email. We will reply you as soon as possible.

  7. P89LV51RD2BN,112 is available. We are distributor of NXP Semiconductors / Freescale P89LV51RD2BN,112. Buy P89LV51RD2BN,112 IC MCU 8BIT 64KB FLASH 40DIP.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.