10 Communication Techniques To Deal With Chronic Complainers

When someone complains frequently, it’s simple to assume they have a negative point of view similar to a pessimist may. In all actuality, chronic whiners are an entirely different breed.

Complainers whine about everything, the boss is annoying, clients are always dramatic, the bills are piling up, the doctors are saying trash, the coffee from the cafe down the street is tasteless, name it, they don’t get tired of complaining.

So, who are chronic complainers?

Chronic complainers are behavioral problem people who tend to surmise that they are meant to bring up every issue with the world, while you must fix them. They can be a friend, a customer, a student, a co-worker, an employee, a student, a child, or even a spouse.

What are the communication techniques to deal with people who complain all the time?

It’s difficult to be alert and stay positive when you have somebody whining in your ear all day long. Chronic complainers think no one loves and can understand them but the fact is that they may not even know that they complain a lot. Here are ten helpful communication techniques to deal with chronic complainers.

1. Never think every complaint is wrong

Not all complainers are chronic. Sometimes they’re right about what they say. It might be challenging to rebate the worries of people who complain so much but whenever they whine, they ought to be taken seriously.

2. Check your attitude

Sometimes you need to take a closer look at yourself, so you don’t get influenced by their complaints and then end up becoming a chronic complainer maybe due to being frustrated by their complaints.

3. Talk less

Unless there’s a specific reason to talk, you need to speak less whenever you are around complainers. Too many words make one sick, and they might feel you support their argument and keep taking more till you get exhausted.

4. Never put a chronic complainer in charge

Just being a chronic complainer disqualifies them. It’s dangerous, unwise to tell a chronic complainer, “Alright, if you think you can handle the job better, give it a shot” no matter how frustrated we get. No job can stay healthy and productive if a chronic complainer leads it.

5. Never make a chronic complainer feel more important, when in a chit-chat

Whenever a chronic complainer engages you in a chit-chat and tells you “there is a problem,” it’s likely they are the one with the problem. Respect them but never buy into their sense of importance.

6. Never complain about a complainer

It can be tempting to also complain about this chronic complainers, and it’s okay to offload to someone. But personally deal with the issue, and then forget about it.

7. Make your advice brief

When giving advice, try to be brief because most chronic complainers aren’t ready to heed to other people’s opinion despite the fact that they always want to share their problems.

8. Always make sure you don’t disagree to convince a complainer

I always advise to disagree with a chronic complainer but do it in a right way. When they ask for your validation on the topic, let them know straight up that you have a different point of view but never try to convince them.

9. When the complaints become frustrating, draw the line

After hearing their several complaints and you get frustrated as a result of them continuously rejecting your advice, you have to draw the line between these chronic complainers. Let them know you love them, support them, and care about them, but you are no longer interested in hearing bad complaints. If they still want to whine, that’s their choice.

10. Try the best you can to cheer a chronic complainer up

Chronic complainers are looking for consent in their complaints, not somebody revealing their wrongs. Trying to cheer them up with a pep talk such as time heals all wounds, by saying these words you make then see things better.

The bottom line

Above all, resist offering chronic complainers a way forward. Several excuses will follow every answer you provide. But when you engage in asking questions, you make them start looking for solutions on their own. Funny, right? By doing this, they will know you’re not interested in prolonging the discussion, and they will just nod their heads at you before moving to the next person to lay off the same complaints.

Berta Melder is a brand manager and co-founder of the masterra.com. She graduated from University of South Carolina with a degree in Public Relations. Being passionate about her job, she cooperates with different universities as a guest lecturer. In her spare time she enjoys creative writing and blogging. Follow her on Twitter @BertaMelder.


Erin shows overscheduled, overwhelmed women how to do less so that they can achieve more. Traditional productivity books—written by men—barely touch the tangle of cultural pressures that women feel when facing down a to-do list. How to Get Sh*t Done will teach you how to zero in on the three areas of your life where you want to excel, and then it will show you how to off-load, outsource, or just stop giving a damn about the rest.

2 Responses to 10 Communication Techniques To Deal With Chronic Complainers

  1. Take deep breadth and think positive is a great way to keep you calm.

  2. J says:

    Its just hard sometimes to think positive when they have crushed you over and over.

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