heal and empower

Words that HEAL and EMPOWER

Every moment of every day is a new beginning for your life through the words you choose to use.

Words make up your thoughts and ideas. They shape the images in your mind, coloring what you perceive and believe.

In the world around you, words make up text messages, tweets, and on your Facebook page they explain your pictures, your past and your plans. They make up the laws that rule much of your experience.

Yet all this being true, we seldom stop to think about the ongoing power of the words we use and string together, the empowerment of words at our disposal when used effectively, or the power unleashed against us at our peril when words are used without awareness.

Our mind is the light we shine second by second on the words we choose from the infinite lexicon before us. It is critically important that we be alertly aware: The words we choose to shine the light of our mind on, shape our very life and its quality.

Now if we stop for a moment and think of the avalanche of words we are inundated with from without, never mind from the running dialogue within, it is easy to see the confusion this can lead to. Which words to choose and will they lead to an effective direction in our life?


One common way to think about the words we use is to refer to them as negative thoughts or positive thoughts. This kind of classification provides some assistance in that it points out that negative thoughts and words often lead to negative feelings.

For instance: “I am too this or too that,” (This is often a comment about a body feature.), will lead to feelings of depression, anger or self-pity.

Conversely, it is popularly believed with this classification, sometimes to the point of it being called a secret that positive words and thoughts lead to positive feelings and outcomes in ones’ life.

For instance: “Just think positive and you’ll feel better.”

This kind of classification of our words and thoughts unfortunately polarizes words into good and bad, however, and this polarization can paralyze us. This is because at times so-called ‘negative’ words can be most positive in their impact on our life, and conversely positive words can easily lead us astray.

For instance, as I discuss in the book, The Three Word Truth about Love and Being Well, the word Won’t, seemingly negative, is a most powerful word leading to peace of mind and personal joy when used as follows: I Won’t judge, I Won’t criticize, or, I Won’t attach to outcome or stuff.

Conversely again, the seemingly positive word Will if not chosen with great care can lead one far astray in the power it unleashes and lead us into the dark.

For instance: I Will open that bottle of wine. I Will drive my car.

It is easy to see how the negative word Won’t can clear a space for the positive word Will, but Will needs to flow back to Won’t to keep it from going astray. I Won’t open that wine. I Will do that work I have been avoiding.  Won’t can eliminate the toxic in your life as Will can invite it back in.


Contrary to words classified as positive or negative, words that focus us in the ‘here and now’ tend to be transcendent. These are words like Am.

Here we can think about beginning each moment of our life with a transcendent word: I Am energy. I Am light. I Am Love.

Similarly a word like OM is used in meditation to center us in the power of the present.

I Am says there is no doubt and no obstacle that cannot be overcome; I AM transcends perception.

For example: ‘I Am going to do this’ says in fact it is already done. ‘I Am Love’ says I love the world and my view of the world is loving; as this is not a hostile view, it dissolves fear, guilt and anger.


If we decide to center our life around just Three Words, Won’t, Will, (Intention) and Am we can see and feel the empowerment presented to us in the abundance of the world; we also see a way to cut through the confusion of endless words coming at us from inside and outside.

If you become clear as you begin each moment of your life to work these Three Words, that is decide what you Won’t do, you open up a space to begin the next moment with what you Will do.

Centering in WILL as the creation you are, you are able to transcend your fear, doubt, guilt and anger by realizing in your essence I Am, as is everyone else.

This realization in turn will lead you back to what you Won’t do and what you Will do as you shape your surface personality that is now ready to extend truth, beauty, creativity, love and joy to the world.

Dr. Clark Falconer is a Guest Blogger for PickTheBrain. He is a practicing Psychiatrist from Vancouver, Canada and the author of the new, critically acclaimed book The Three Word Truth About Love And Being Well. To receive daily tips on the power of words follow Clark on Twitter.

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30 Responses to Words that HEAL and EMPOWER

  1. Eneida says:

    This was powerful. Thank you!

  2. Elisabeth says:

    I am so happy to see this book featured on your site.

    This book has completely changed my life. I use it as a reference whenever I have a problem and my self-talk just keeps improving.

    I learned from this book that if I work on my internal words, then this will be reflected in my life. If one book will change the world, then this is it.

  3. Thanks, Clark! As a writer myself, words are very important – but can also be very overwhelming – simplifying to 3 powerful words is welcome advice! I look forward to trying it out.

  4. Great post on the power of self talk! Interesting thoughts, I look forward to purchasing the book! Powerful stuff.

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  6. Courtney_182 says:

    The words we choose to use shape our lives. How we think and talk to ourselves are critical aspects of how we view ourselves and life in general. By choosing our thoughts, we can choose to have happy, joyous lives. Thanks for the article.

  7. Dr. Clark Falconer says:

    Eneida: Thanks for your comment. If you get a chance to read the book do let me know what you think. If you liked the blog clinical examples in the book maybe very helpful. Blessings. Clark.

  8. Dr. Clark Falconer says:

    Thanks for your kind comments Elisabeth. I don’t know if the book will change the world outside but I do know it can change any person’s inner world who is willing to work the words. Thanks again. Let me know if you read it if you have further thougths. Clark.

  9. Dr. Clark Falconer says:

    Thanks for giving me the space to extend love to the world. It is my hope many will find the book useful in their lives. Clark

  10. Dr. Clark Falconer says:

    Thanks Gabe! If your impression of the blog is that it is powerful I think it means you are already open to, or doing, important internal work. The book will at the very least be a significant supplement to your progress. If you get a moment when you finish it do let me know your further thoughts. Great to be in touch with you. Clark.

  11. Dr. Clark Falconer says:

    Courtney: I very much appreciate your comments and of course agree wholeheartedly with them. If you go on to read the book and practice the exercises inside I would value your assessment of their benefit in your life. Nice to be in touch with you and grateful for your time and interest. Clark.

  12. Dr. Clark Falconer says:

    Sorry Elisabeth: of course your comment came from not only the blog but from reading the book. This makes it all the more valuable. I meant to end my first comment by just saying let me know if you have any further thoughts. Thanks again. Clark.

  13. Thanks for this thoughtful article.

    Indeed the words we use reveal to us (and others if we speak them) a lot about our inner selves. I learned some years ago the importance of noticing the words I use and found them a powerful route to greater self-awareness.

    I think boiling it down to three words is a good start and your choice of words triggers a few things for me: my mind.

    – I’ve found ‘I AM’ to be rather static and prefer to express myself in a more dynamic way. ‘I feel love’, ‘I have energy’, ‘I shine light’. That way I don’t get too much identified with what might follow ‘I am ..’

    – I didn’t quite understand the point about ‘Will not’. I believe (but can offer no proof) that our subconscious mind has a hard time with negative words like ‘Not’ and tends to get attracted to the ‘will’ part. It’s easy to translate the ‘Will not’ into ‘Will’. For example ‘I will keep my judgements to myself’

    I’d welcome your thought on these.

  14. I like your article cause it got me thinking about the power of words. One distinction I make very often is between precise and imprecise words.

    We think stuff like: I’m an idiot, or You look terrible. Then we say these things to other. The problem is these sentences are all imprecise: they exaggerate, they dramatize and they generate strong emotions.

    If we learn to use more precise and realistic words, we can get a lot more leverage.


  15. Dr. Clark Falconer says:

    Ian: This is a very useful and meaningful reply to my blog. I am going to write another blog shortly addressing some of your specific ideas and questions. I can say, however, that I believe I have answered each of your points in great detail in the book. If you have the opportunity to read it I would love to hear your comments then. As one example, in the book I show the relationship of Won’t to what wise men have spoken of through history: the idea of non-doing. This is why I add it to Will rather than make WILL all encompassing. I also talk in detail about why I think three words is the correct formulation based on revered ideas like the Trinity. Blessings to you and thanks again. Clark.

  16. Dr. Clark Falconer says:

    Eduard: Your comment is on the pulse of the book’s theme and of course only briefly alluded to in the blog. In the book there are specific sections outlining the relationship of The Three Words to the essence of LOVE specifically. For instance there are sections on feelings as LOVE essence, sensations as LOVE essence, sex as LOVE essence, behavior as LOVE essence and on and on. Each section demonstrates your point of how one can be most healthy by using the Three Words in each area precisely. Thanks again and let me know your further thoughts. Blessings. Clark.

  17. JorgeN says:

    Wonderful article !
    Consider complementing the words and phrases you use with this great software I was recently introduced to by none other than Tony Robbins: http://www.tradexmindnow.com
    Its objective is to program your mind with the words/phrases of your choice – this is also known as subliminal messaging – try it out.

  18. Cristina says:

    This was very deep and insightful! I will try this out in the next weeks!

    Thank you!

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  22. prom gowns says:

    I wanted to thank you for this great read!!

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  24. Chris McW says:

    It’s wonderful that you wrote a book. I enjoyed the article and have ordered the book. I’m looking forward to reading it. I agree that words are powerful and think of power of the words “can’t” and “won’t” often. This sounds like an extension of that idea.


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  28. Petmosquito says:

    When my son was leaving school I went to see one of his teachers that I knew reasonably well and gave him an envelope with the gift voucher for a restaurant. Without even looking at it he said to me “That is not necessary”. Iremember looking at him for a moment and thinking why he had not said “Thank you-it a nice gesture” or something else. I replied I am not giving this to you becuse I feel that I have to, I am giving it to you because I want to”. The point I am making here is that often people hide in language . In hindhind sight I could always have said OK then I use it myself and its your loss!! but maybe that would have been a bit cruel.

  29. Mwm1224 says:

    Good Morning,
    I won’t ignore this powerful information as I have in the past.
    I will write this email thanking Dr. Falconer for this inspiration.
    I am going to pass this site on to others this morning…

    This is a wonderful site. I have experienced first hand over many years the amazing power of the mind and Soul. trouble is when we are surrounded with negative people, words,deeds , ect…finding a quick way to stop the flood from washing away your Peace becomes physically exhausting ! I’m 52 years old. I have two daughters 25 and 17. Websites like this with simple truths are important tools that help form a mind into a happy and hopeful Soul. Early exposure daily would have an amazing impact on our society… The new frontier is the computer world. With Ipads and Apps to do every and anything getting these young minds involved in seeing these Good words daily …causing a rush of feeling and believing …this could become the drug of choice…saving Money, Souls and Society!

    Would you be interested in a young persons site that gets high school/college aged involved by blogging ideas, contest ,scholarships or credit in courses some way…Young people have to be actively involved and See they may be getting something before they are hooked by the wonderful Feeling of Knowing they have been given the true Gift of Life…the Power and control of their own GOOD mind!

    Thank you,

  30. Kellie Haning says:

    I’m not positive that my word choice is going to impact my self esteem issues. However, I am positive something has to change in my mind. I had a bilateral mastectomy two years ago and am awaiting my last reconstruction surgery. I am only 40 and I am single. Honestly I always loved my body as an adult. Now things are different. My last bf broke up with me, because he said I am not happy with me. I’m working on it, but can word choice help me with this? I am scarred and I am upset about having to tell everyboy I date that I had cancer. They say they are sorry and that they don’t mind scars! Do u know was a mastectomy is? I am afraid to tell them the whole of it, because its devastating to me.

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