hard work

Why Hard Work Isn’t Such a Good Idea

There’s an idea ingrained in many cultures that hard work is a good thing in itself. You’ll have seen this in action. People brag (even in the guise of moaning) about their long hours, or they tell that getting to the top means years and years of hard work.

You might buy into the myth that the harder you work, the more successful you’ll be.

So you put in more hours. You work at the weekends. You focus on the easier tasks, so that you can build up a huge long list of accomplishments.

Except … it feels like you’re running hard and getting nowhere. In fact, you’re ending up feeling exhausted and burnt out.

Hard Work Isn’t Enough

Of course, most worthwhile goals require some work. Sometimes they take days, weeks, even years of consistent effort: the book Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell suggests that to become an expert, you need to put in roughly 10,000 hours (that’s three hours a day for ten years).

Perhaps it seems only fair that the harder you work, the more you’ll achieve.

Unfortunately, that’s not really true.

You could work hard at something without getting far at all. Let’s say that, at work, you decide to work harder: you answer all your emails, you get all the filing done, you even help out some colleagues … but you never volunteer for a new project, or take on any tasks which help you develop your skills – so you never get that promotion you’re hoping for.

If you’re a student, you can spend long hours poring over your books – without really taking anything in.

If you’re going in business for yourself, you might spend forever tweaking your website – even though you don’t have a single client yet.

Can you see the problem? Success isn’t just about how long or how hard you work – it’s about what you work at. Perhaps you’ve heard this summed up as don’t just work hard, work smart.

Hard Work CAN Kill You

Hard work never killed anyone. (Proverbial)

Overworking can be seriously damaging to your health. Stress and long hours can lead to heart problems, increased susceptibility to infection, fatigue disorders like CFS/ME… and even suicide.

We live in a world where we often feel pushed to do more. You might be under pressure from your peers, your parents, or society in general. You might well have internalized these influences – and you may believe that to be “successful”, you need to have a high-flying career or a huge salary.

Ultimately, though, you won’t be able to enjoy the fruits of your hard work if you ruin your health in the process.

Working hard isn’t always a good thing. It can actually end up being selfish and destructive, if:

  • Your long hours cause problems for your family
  • You’re short-tempered with colleagues or employees
  • You make mistakes because you’ve been working too hard
  • You lose your sense of perspective, and let work take over your life

How to Keep Work in Perspective

You might love your work – I know I love mine! But however much you enjoy it, your work isn’t your whole life. Recognize the importance of other things – like friends, family, hobbies, sufficient rest and relaxation…

If you’re working hard in the hopes of retiring early, ease up on work and enjoy your whole life a little more – instead of hoping for a few golden years at the end of it.

If you’re working hard to buy more things for your kids, ask yourself whether it’s really more money that they need – or your presence.

If you’re working hard because you feel that you “should” – then remember that this is your life, and it’s up to you to decide how to live it.

I’m sure you’ve got plenty of views on working hard (whether you strive for it or try to avoid it!) – so let us know your thoughts in the comments…

Photo from Flickr, courtesy of coljay72

  • Pingback: Tweets that mention Why Hard Work Isn't Such a Good Idea | PickTheBrain | Motivation and Self Improvement -- Topsy.com

  • Dani

    Thanks a lot for thinking and being brave enough to put it ‘black on white’.

    Working is good in its correct measurement, as vegetables, e.g. Would it be good to eat 30 kilos of green beens during an only meal?

    The real truth is that many people use to excuse some of their weaknesses (that we all have, so they should no excuse but assume)by working too hard and explaining it to us.

    Regards

  • http://sharingmatters.com Paul – Sharing Matters

    Ali, that is why this whole new movement of lifestyle design and minimalism is to save us from the slevery of hard work. I like what Gary Vaynarchuk said od TED “Passion and patience” and the general rule “work smart” instead of “work hard”.

    With all the technology and 4HWW outsourcing model it is just stupid to work hard. This whole pressure that we put on ourselves because we think in… “quickly”, “now”, “I have to” criteria. And sometimes even putting more hours doesn’t always mean it is a hard work because when we do something what we love in the evenings it is just not such a hard time.

    Generally, building passive income is maybe not for everyone but it is much easier than building a factory, right? :)

    We live in the Digital Age and we should appreciate it.

  • http://hanofharmony.com The Vizier

    Hi Ali,

    When I was young my parents always told me to work hard. When I went to school, my teachers told me to study hard. When I went to work, my boss told me to work hard. But working hard alone is not enough. Without being able to see the big picture or where I am going, working hard doesn’t quite cut it. Without knowing why I must work hard and how to work smart, I can burn both ends of the candle and still be miles away from success.

    If you don’t know where you are going, you are already lost. What is important is that we know why we work hard and how to work smart to achieve the milestones that will take us to success. When we combine these prerequisites with hard work, success is more likely to happen.

    Naturally, life is about balance. We can keep working hard, but sooner or later we will get less productive and need to relax in order to recharge. Here it is important to spend time with people we love, to nurture bonds and to do the things we enjoy to revitalize our spirits.

    Thank you for sharing this article! :)

    Irving the Vizier

  • http://www.thewiredmedium.com Adam

    Great article. Recently, I found that I was overworking myself. It felt like I was getting a lot done, and I was, but none of it was leading towards growth or anything significant. I’m now realizing how important setting goals and using your time effectively is.

    I still think hard work is a good thing as long as it isn’t taking over your life and you’re working towards a realistic goal.

  • http://a1audiovideo.wordpress.com/ David Smith

    Good post, Ali. Hard work will get you nowhere if you don’t really like what you’re doing. I’ve had a fairly wide variety of jobs, and someone will always tell me “You’re working too hard”. I work hard because I want to get good, learn everything and move on before the boredom sets in. Boredom always becomes a problem within three years. It’s not so much that I don’t like the work when I start, but I grow to hate it once I’ve mastered it. I suppose I could go for management, but that would have a three year life cycle too.

    Your post reveals the solution. Goal setting. I’ve been writing for decades as part of work, education, etc. Why not try freelance writing as a career? I can move through blogging, article writing, copywriting and freelancing as increasingly challenging steps. The boredom problem should be easy to avoid since I can always study a new subject or product to write about. Writing faster and higher quality are also nice goals. Thanks for the article.

  • http://www.motivationalmemo.com Peter G. James Sinclair

    Great post Ali.

    I actually work as hard as I want.

    I don’t have a boss peering over my shoulder checking up on my work. I am my own taskmaster, and I make myself work harder than anyone else.

    Because when you love what you do, and are passionate about it, you are unafraid of hard work. You thrive on it.

    It’s not hard work that kills people. Boring and laborious work does that.

    Working for yourself, doing what you love, is never dull nor boring.

    Looooooooooving it!

    • PeterG JamesFaggot

      Fuck off…

      • Ryan Hackett

        No, you fuck off.

  • Ashwald

    Wow so amazing was chating aabout the same subject to 2 of my farm partners.
    They believe a farm is just for hard work and i believe that it should be balanced. I asked them where do they get there support from to have a farming business. There wife’s oviously. So it should also give back to them. I told them we should make it worth while for all parties involved. Namely bring the whole family Have a work done in the morning till lunch then Take the family to the river. Set up a BBQ and some vollyball nets and relax. Go home and catch some zzzzz. Balanced !

    • Dave N

      The current society we live in is a stress hole.It is based upon spending and earning.You need around 1k per month just to survive in the UK.The problem is within the employment field and how they wish to pay so little for the work you provide and a tax system that cuts deep into your pay.Silly politicians on fat salaries go on about keeping the economy moving but that’s no good to u or I especially on a fabricated means tested basis.The idea though of this silly conversation was how to reduce stress and earn more by working less.I fail to see the direction in which the conversation is going.

  • Howard

    This article is not helpful at all. It only encourages the spread of the entitlement mindset that is slowly, but steadily eating away the Western societies (meaning here US, Canada and the EU). Work is the only thing that guarantees success. Anyone that tells you not to work hard, but to smile instead and think about the ‘energy of the universe’ to make things happen for you is deluded at best. There are quite a few self-help suggestions that are helpful on this blog but I’m afraid that telling people not to work hard is just stupid.

    • http://patientambition.com/ Nick

      This article is great, your comment is shortsighted. Working hard is good advice if the benefits are commensurate to the sacrifice. Toiling away 40+ hours a week for decades to make someone else rich is idiotic. I’m working hard now on my own business so I never have to be someone elses “hard working” chump employee again.

    • Ryan Hackett

      I think you should read it again, I don’t think you really understood what it says. This about sums it up.

      “your work isn’t your whole life. Recognize the importance of other things – like friends, family, hobbies, sufficient rest and relaxation…”

      In other words, the author seems to believe that there’s more to life than work(ing for money); much more. I happen to agree. I think far too much emphasis is put on spending every waking hour chasing money (actually trading your time for money in most cases). Earning a living is essential for survival, but it’s not everything. I feel that a healthy balance is what ultimately leads to a better quality of life. I think the standard 30-40 hour week is a pretty good balance, by the way.

  • http://www.livingwords.net Doug Cartwright

    I was just thinking today about the puritan work ethic – the idea that unless I am nose to the grindstone all day I am some kind of looser. Working through that one myself.

    I think we need to work hard and work smart. To achieve takes great sacrifice and dedication. I agree to some extent with Howard, this new age baloney drives me nuts! I remember hearing a woman years ago say that the “universe would bring her something” – what twaddle! The universe doesn’t care what you do!

    All human beings have a spiritual side – I am a Christian and I believe that men and women are capable of doing and being magnificent in their service of God. But that comes along with hard work and dedication.

    Great article.

  • http://www.andreacostantine.com Andrea Costantine

    This is such a great post. It’s been the issue and belief that keeps coming back to haunt me. I love my work, but it doesn’t mean that I should take a break and enjoy life today. If I keep up my pace, I won’t have any golden years. Thanks for the great tips on keeping hard work into perspective. I’m posting this on my blog for others to see.

    • Syedmatiy

      hi andrea 
      i also red this article this article is pinu s su cker just like u the f ucked one f uck ur big t its

      • Ryan Hackett

        *scratching my head*

  • http://n/a Charles

    Alot of the times I beleive people “Work Hard” becuase it is actually easier to work the long hours, rack up a list of easy accomplishments because the REAL hard work is orienterring! Having the courage and conviction to discover what you should be doing, not that you are just working hard at doing it. This could be instead of getting down and observing your staff and honing their skills you are concentrated on inner-office workings or reports.(The proverbial “wiping down the counter in the same spot for an hour”)

  • Pingback: Think in Projects » Blog Archive » Weekly links for 28th March

  • Mark

    If working hard was a precursor to success, then most South American immigrants would be loaded.

    Working is one thing. Working extremely hard because of the societal reinforcement that we must all work hard is another.

    Most people in this world will never retire, regardless of their profession and fiscal responsibility. Even then, many of those who do retire end-up working to fill a void. Many of us bust our butts because we have been force-fed the retirement myth. We can be productive and resourceful without killing ourselves at work. It’s all about changing the attitude.

    • 66wow99

      But Mark you’re assuming that working hard and having success is about the money. In my case, I’m done thinking that way.

  • Jon in Tampa

    I think Ali is correct in his assessment of working hard.  Many people would debate his perspective but I think that is because they don’t really understand what is happening in our world today.  If I told you that at my job, I receive about 100 emails per day (and not emails that I can ignore, but many times have to glean info from or reply to), that I am regularly booked through Outlook into meetings to where I am “triple-booked” a few hours per day, that I am “single-booked” via Outlook many hours per day, that in addition to attending meeting and providing answers and insight to them; I am expected to perform my “expected” tasks, that I am expected to assist when a “production issue” occurs, that I am required to complete corporate-mandated classes on a regular basis, that I expected to respond to “oncall pages” through all hours of the night (these are rare, fortunately), that I am expected to reply to several “live” instanst messages from people across the enterprise and provide answers, and a ton of other things…then, and only then, can you begin realize that the 6 figure salary may actually not be worth it.  The economy has reduced the value of my home to 1/2 its sale price, my 401K has basically made no captial intersted in ten years, and my company is downsizing.  So, I could have worked 1/2 as hard and still would have probably ended up with the same result.  In fact, I am going to specifically be seeking employment where the stress (and presumably the pay) is significantly less but will probably have the same to show for it had I continued working at my current pace.
    If you want to debate me on that, you are welcome to my job!  I will die laughing, while you die trying!

    • JAGILES

      I agree
          – Working hard towards something is admirable but continuing to work to the point of burnout begs the question what are you doing it for?  If your job is your passion then you are lucky. Values have to come into play – do you have time with your family and friends –  are people first and foremost in your life?
            As a fifty something, the work ethic I grew up with relates that success is the result of hard work. My supervisor told me he likes 50 somethings because they’ll work themselves into the ground for you. However, the “work hard and you’ll reap the rewards” ethic no longer holds true in today’s economy. My experience suggests the more you do the more will be expected and you might reap the reward of being able to negate the job of yet another person.
           We used to have specific work hours, weekends off, and Sundays and holidays just to be home with family because everything was closed. Retirement meant just that to retire from working in order to enjoy your life in your golden years. Retirement is becoming more and more elusive for but the privileged few. Home ownership and having children used to be an attainable goal and people had time to nurture personal relationships. I would argue current day standards have made that almost impossible.
            Indeed,the work ethic instilled in us so long ago was not based on people taking on the jobs of three people and working to the point of excluding all else, but this is what the workplace is reflecting in today’s economy. I concur that individuals have to reavaluate their priorities and determine what will give them the best quality of life. We can still work hard but honour having a life first and foremost. I think society has lost sight of the old addage “work to live not live to work”.     

  • Hard Worker

    I think you failed to separate two separate phenomena.  The first, which you rightly pointed out has negative consequences, is being a slave.  One should always strive to be a master.  Slaves work without asking why they are working, or if they are doing meaningful works. 

    However, the second phenomenon is hard work.  Hard work is good, fun, and rewarding.  It is what separates the winners from the losers.  It is impossible to be really great at anything without hard work.  To quote Einstein, “Genius is [only] 1 percent inspiration, but 99 percent perspiration.”   The trick is to know what you are doing.  To quote Socrates, “The unexamined life is not worth living.”

    • Josh

      That quote is not Einstein, it is Edison.

    • http://patientambition.com/ Nick

      You should work to be a producer not a consumer, most Americans mindlessly consume mortgages, car payments, electronics, “entertainment” etc and are thus buried by debt. Its sick that our economy is judged to be healthy or not by how much “consumers” “consume”

  • Hard Worker

    I think you failed to separate two separate phenomena.  The first, which you rightly pointed out has negative consequences, is being a slave.  One should always strive to be a master.  Slaves work without asking why they are working, or if they are doing meaningful works. 

    However, the second phenomenon is hard work.  Hard work is good, fun, and rewarding.  It is what separates the winners from the losers.  It is impossible to be really great at anything without hard work.  To quote Einstein, “Genius is [only] 1 percent inspiration, but 99 percent perspiration.”   The trick is to know what you are doing.  To quote Socrates, “The unexamined life is not worth living.”

  • Tamborboxeo

    Well said

  • Safa4alkinani

    you are right sometimes hard working doesn’t work , we have a dream but we need to be planing to achieve it ..thank you

  • devo

    I hate working because sadly I have uncovered the truth in the fact that humans are stupid and we are just like cattle in every way because religion aka the vatican controls most the population they are  nothing more than herders keeping us ignorant and  scared with death so billions are afraid of dying and in turn not having a happy life. We are bartered off by the U.S govt ever since the depression  basically they sold us to china and we are the money, money doesn’t even exist they tell us it does so we will work for everything and if we work hard enough we could be president that’s a bunch of crap and also that fact that we produce more than we consume is the main tool used by any government to make people slaves  but  they give us more freedom and we work harder. Slavery didn’t work because the slaves had nothing. Make a slave happy they will do anything this was realized during the roman empire  and that’s why it collapsed! During the dark ages the cradle of our civilization aka mesopotamia hid info from europe and ignorance was prevalent everywhere but ww11 stole its pricelss math info and were able to create the first bomb. This was the beginning of a new usa working together with europe and china and developing nasa which were x-nazi and this was the begining of nazi america. Now everybody has to be skinny and have blonde hair and work really really hard and that is supposed to be the american dream!!! BS!!  I feel sorry for myself and wish the whole world knew the truth  because everything  does grow on trees and mother nature is giving it to us for free!! But they make us feel like nothing is free.

    • http://patientambition.com/ Nick

      TLDR, stop feeling sorry for yourself, thats your problem

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=28132351 Daniel G. Aspinall

    The premise of this article, and the comments supporting it, seems to be, “exploit others, rather than work; speak with a silver tongue, make friends in high places, and delegate grunt work to those you consider “less deserving” than yourselves. The article is very clearly steeped in the biases of the upper-middle-class.

    People often forget that, within  production-based societies, hard work has to take place somewhere – even if we can’t see where it is being done. Often, we bolster the quality and comfort of our own lives at the expense of those who slave away in sweat-shops, or those who, more locally, scrape by on minimum wage.

    Those we arbitrarily consider to be “most inspiring and innovative”, in truth, owe their success to men and women on the shop floor. Men and women who turn theory into reality, actually produce and/or render services. Individuals who contribute to society in a clear, direct and unambiguous way. Men and women who don’t simply justify their existence by claiming that they:

    “contribute to the zeitgeist”

    or:

    “inspire others to work to their full potential” 

    I have a great deal of respect for thinkers and leaders; certainly, human society cannot survive without guidance from those who take the time to truly comprehend how life really is. 

    My comment is not meant to call “higher professions”, and those who occupy them, useless. Rather, it is a cry for those those high up to recognize that societies are not built upon “great thinkers, innovators and leaders”, but on the sweat and blood of regular people. Do not spit on those you consider unskilled or uneducated. 

    Perhaps some professions/jobs should be better paid than others. But the economic rifts between classes should not as pronounced as they currently are.

    I say, “Work hard and smart, but never lose respect for your fellow man.”

    Daniel Aspinall

  • Pingback: Landscape Small Backyard | building extension on house >> building extension on house Images | building extension on house Pictures!

  • Jen

    Does Work have to be hard? Can a person do a task efficiently and effectively and then see good results for their efforts, without the process being stressful and unhealthy? 
    I’ve heard that working too hard leads to burnout, but working at a realistic pace with a realistic schedule is more effective in the long run.
    Most people I’ve met will respect you more if you tell them you work hard, people hate laziness. 

  • Jen

    Does Work have to be hard? Can a person do a task efficiently and effectively and then see good results for their efforts, without the process being stressful and unhealthy? 
    I’ve heard that working too hard leads to burnout, but working at a realistic pace with a realistic schedule is more effective in the long run.
    Most people I’ve met will respect you more if you tell them you work hard, people hate laziness. 

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/T676466D7PPZXC5BYK4KZFNYEI JessicaF

    I worked hard through law school, maybe even harder than I needed to because of undiagnosed adult ADHD. But I also made time to follow my favorite show, learn a new instrument, go out with friends at least once a week, attend and volunteer at church, play with my little pet bunny every morning, visit my parents 100 miles away every month, exercise every day, cook my own healthy food, and read books for my own enrichment. I went to a top tier school and graduated magna cum laude, and I’d say it was because of my rich personal life rather than in spite of it. I certainly had a great time in school and sometimes I wish I could go back, not something you often hear people say of law school.

    However, that lack of intense focus has cost me professionally. I always did the assigned work and put in a solid effort, but rarely took initiative to go above and beyond. I didn’t write for a journal or do a trial prep class. The leadership position I held in one of the on-campus clubs just kind of fell into my lap because I came to all the meetings and stayed awake the whole time. Only for one class did I participate in a study group and buy additional study materials, and even then, I generally let the group direct the concepts we would study. So now, I’m working at a small firm on an hourly basis while my friends get their profile on their company websites. 

    I’ve always been able to work hard and maintain balance because I knew what I was working toward, which was “x” goal as part of a well-rounded life. Now that I don’t know what the goal is anymore, I can’t seem to make myself work hard. Sure, I “only” work 40 hours a week while my friends put in 60–70, and I don’t have to wear a suit every day, but I feel like my career is stagnating. It’s easy to put in the hours, but it’s difficult to figure out what I want those hours to lead to. Sometimes “working smart” is the hardest part.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/T676466D7PPZXC5BYK4KZFNYEI JessicaF

    I worked hard through law school, maybe even harder than I needed to because of undiagnosed adult ADHD. But I also made time to follow my favorite show, learn a new instrument, go out with friends at least once a week, attend and volunteer at church, play with my little pet bunny every morning, visit my parents 100 miles away every month, exercise every day, cook my own healthy food, and read books for my own enrichment. I went to a top tier school and graduated magna cum laude, and I’d say it was because of my rich personal life rather than in spite of it. I certainly had a great time in school and sometimes I wish I could go back, not something you often hear people say of law school.

    However, that lack of intense focus has cost me professionally. I always did the assigned work and put in a solid effort, but rarely took initiative to go above and beyond. I didn’t write for a journal or do a trial prep class. The leadership position I held in one of the on-campus clubs just kind of fell into my lap because I came to all the meetings and stayed awake the whole time. Only for one class did I participate in a study group and buy additional study materials, and even then, I generally let the group direct the concepts we would study. So now, I’m working at a small firm on an hourly basis while my friends get their profile on their company websites. 

    I’ve always been able to work hard and maintain balance because I knew what I was working toward, which was “x” goal as part of a well-rounded life. Now that I don’t know what the goal is anymore, I can’t seem to make myself work hard. Sure, I “only” work 40 hours a week while my friends put in 60–70, and I don’t have to wear a suit every day, but I feel like my career is stagnating. It’s easy to put in the hours, but it’s difficult to figure out what I want those hours to lead to. Sometimes “working smart” is the hardest part.

  • Dark_magwire_69

    I work a physically demanding job that I enjoy and I feel like I am paid to work out all day and I love it but I have a co worker that will go out of his way to do as little work as possible and he never gets into trouble from management and basically he works a hour less than everyone everyday and gets paid for the whole day what can I do to make him quit or give up on the job and leave.

    • http://patientambition.com/ Nick

      I think these types of people are always going to be around. Just dont help him out or do any of his work.

  • Chxheart

    “INTELLIGENCE + GOOD WORK ETHIC WILL GET YOU THE UNIVERSE” El Greco Zapoteco

  • Pingback: Who is Marcin Niebudek | Yves Hanoulle

  • Jimmyjoejohnson

    Relating hard work to potential failure and future health problems isn’t really helpful in the way the author maybe supposes. Hard work involves more than the bullshit examples provided. Working smarter means thinking more and this aspect of hard work is something breezed over here. This article seems to speak of work in terms of thankless and dead end jobs. Work here is emails and website design and the conclusion that no matter how hard some people work they will inevitably fail (so you live your life like you want) hardly solves any problems. This kind of armchair psychology comes across as mere stock and cliched advice that falls flat in practice. Effort might be better though of as seperate from outcome. Trying hard and doing your best are important qualities to foster. Having a shit job and stressing out sucks and I empathize with everyone in this situation. Sure, relaxing and taking care of your health are important but sitting on your ass at home doing nothing because it’s your life to waste, well, that’s not going to help much in the long run. There’s no general answer or quick fix for people’s employment problems. Each individual needs to assess their own situation and come up with some sort of plan to improve their life situation. You’ve got to put in the work, which might include seeking professional counseling by someone trained and with experience in human psychology, not some freelance writer who hasn’t a freaking clue.

    • Ryan Hackett

      I don’t think the author made any claims of being a psychologist or asserted that anybody should strictly follow his advice. He seems to come across, at least to me, in a very honest way, simply saying (i paraphrase) “earning money is important but don’t let it rule your life to the point where it detracts from other, potentially more important things”.

  • wanttobehappy

    i was working sat sun 5 hr shifts going to uni 5 days a week [many hours by myself hardly talking to anyone] and going out. I became obsessed as my personal life was horrible [gf cheated, failed a subject]. At the end of it i just felt warn out, depressed and that i wasted my time. everyone in my family tells me to get on with it but i feel my heart palpating, anger, repression, guilt. I’ll probably fail this semester and feel like ive wasted a yr. I just want to recover but i don’t know how long it will take.

  • SuperStevedawg2000

    Life is one big balancing act, have to balance work and the time and energy you spend on relationships. 

  • Bunyonb

    Wtf? Hard work not a good idea? You mad bro?

  • blah

    I would say that hard work without regular rewards is very discouraging. You can slave away at something hoping to get something out of it but if you can’t see the payoff it’s not long before you slack off and eventually quit. These people that would call anyone a pussy for not working hard enough are probably used to receiving reward regularly for their work. If I quit something it’s not that I don’t work hard enough it’s that there is no foreseeable reward for what I’m doing.
    You could go out and earn a phd but if no one is there to recognise you for it, what’s the point?

  • Pingback: Disappointment and Perseverance | Progressive Mormon Mom