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The Importance of Talking To Yourself

Look well into thyself; there is a source of strength which will always spring up if thou wilt always look there.Marcus Aurelius

I remember when I was ten years old, we were asked to write an essay on ‘My best friend’. I thought for a while about all my friends that I had and tried to find out one who knew everything about me. Surprisingly, in a group of very close friends there was no one who knew everything about me. None of them knew anything about how I felt at home and how desperately I wanted to grow up and much more. And few who knew.. never understood it thoroughly. After brief rumination, I realized that I was my own Best Friend as only I knew about my life completely. Hence, I wrote about myself and got a zero as my teacher thought I wrote the essay on ‘Myself’ and not on ‘My Best Friend’.

I have always been a very affable and friendly person and thus making friends was never difficult for me, then and even now. But whenever the thought of my best friend comes to my mind, I can confidently proclaim that ‘my self’ is my best friend.

Whenever I need someone to talk to, I turn to myself. My inner soul gives me the accurate answers to my questions. I ask myself about my actions, needs, desires and capabilities. And I get the right answers and reasons! Only thing needed here to carry on with the conversation is – honesty.

One has to be brutally honest with oneself if one wants to talk to ones inner self. Be firm about your questions, don’t evade even the most elusive ones because in most certainty you will find answers to all the doubts and all the questions you pose to your conscious.

Here are five things you need to do to be able to carry out an excogitative conservation.

1) Build a relationship with your inner self – we all have different relationships with different people. But do we have a relationship with our own self? If yes, what kind is it? Do we love ourselves? Or is our inner soul our best friend? Do we bully our conscious with our actions or do we keep preaching it new things by reflexive activities? Figure out the type of your relationship and improve it. Build a rapport where your soul is free to talk to you fearlessly.

2) Be honest – while seeking answers, try to recollect even the minuscule detail and accept the reality. Be true and genuine and try to reason with full honesty. You will get the right reasons and the absolute answers.

3) Take a moment with yourself – your inner self may not be comfortable everywhere and that is the reason many a times we say ‘I don’t know what I want..’ or ‘I am not able to get an answer’. Go to a place that gives you peace. Maybe on the roof top under the sky, a beach, next to a water lake, under a tree, in a dark room, while walking on the road or anywhere. Only you know which place lets you talk freely to your self.

4) Ask questions – excruciate yourself with all the questions you have in mind. Don’t just ask ‘yes’ or ‘no’ questions. Ask why you did something or why you want something. Get answers to questions like what if you had done it differently, how could you not do it, would you do it again etc.

5) Respect your inner self – there is no use of letting your conscious speak, if you do not listen to it. Because if you disobey your inner voice few times, it stops talking to you. So, start venerating your soul’s voice and next time whenever you try to listen to your heart, actually LISTEN to it.

After all, myself is nothing but my ‘self’ is all!

—-

Surabhi lives in Andaman and Nicobar Islands, a group of islands in southern India, with her husband and nine month old daughter. She quit a corporate job to focus on her family and enjoy the process of being a mother and a home maker. She believes simply: ‘it is good to live’ and her blog is an attempt to prove it. It is a platform to share thoughts, ideas, happiness and sorrows. She would be delighted if you join it !


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  • http://www.betterfocused.com Tony Edwards

    Great advice. I am learning meditation to try and develop a deeper relationship with my inner self (and the world around me). I would definitely recommend it to anyone. A great introduction can be found online in the free PDF “Mindfulness in Plain English” by Henepola Gunaratana.

  • http://www.thetradingelite.com Jared

    I think developing a relationship with yourself is one of the most overlooked processes that needs to be focused on more. Having a healthy self-relationship is more important than you think.

  • http://www.paradiseconfidence.com Melissa

    I agree with the poster above. Too often we hone in on devoloping relationships with others and forget about ourselves sometimes. Great article thanks for sharing.

  • http://blog.self-improvement-saga.com/ Nea | Self Improvement Saga

    You speak about something that is all too often overlooked. The quality of our lives is directly correlated with the quality of the relationship we have with ourselves. Great post!

  • http://www.aplaceinthepattern.com ariana | a place in the pattern

    Hey Surabhi,

    Great reminder. Too often people feel lonely or begin to feel as though there is no one who understands them, when in reality they do have themselves as a shoulder to lean on. Getting in touch with yourself is very important, especially when it comes to enhancing your life with inner richness.

    -ariana

  • http://www.balancedworklife.com/blog Bryce Christiansen

    Yea, a fellow self talker. I like to think that I talk to myself to help me think through tough decisions or to play out different scenarios. It helps me clear my mind.

  • http://TheSpiritualSkeptic.com Keri

    What a cute story =D I love the idea of thinking of yourself as your best friend. I talk to myself all the time (out loud and silently!), and I love the positive spin you’ve put on it. Usually people act like talking to yourself is a bad thing, but I think it’s great!

  • http://yahoo Ronald C Holmes

    i believe a person should cultivate and establish a well – balance good wholesome relationship with themselves before even attempting trying to develop a intimate mutual relationship with God and other human being.

  • http://www.Mazzastick.com Justin | Mazzastick

    The most important relationship to us should be with ourselves.

  • http://watchmeblush.tumblr.com Jessica Marti

    Great article on SELF TALK! I am a true believer in it…
    Visit this site for tips from a makeup artist/motivator on how to look good and feel good from the inside out. Build from your inner core to your outer beauty, makeup and style.

    Follow me on Tumblr and twitter @jessicamartiwmb

  • http://www.ruzanneromo.com/blogs/ ruzanne

    Hi Sur! It’s so true that we often leave ourselves neglected. We’re always look outward, how we can help, how we can be better, how can we give more and get more. But more often than not, we fail to ask our inner self first…

    “What is it that you want?”… “What is it that makes you truly happy?”… “What difference will my action result to…?” “Am I being true to myself?” These are questions we people wouldn’t ask themselves a lot. But if we did, then we’d know what we want of life, how we want to live.

    What’s that song again? “Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all…” That line reminds us that we can only become somebody for others if we’re first a person who knows and love our self!

    Nice post! Sure is a good reminder how life should be lived :)

  • http://www.therunforlife.blogspot.com Surabhi Surendra

    Hi All,

    Thanks for liking the article.

    I agree that this dimension is most often overlooked. And it is also true that ‘talking to yourself’ is usually considered a bad thing – or rather a sort of illness. But I personally feel that all the people who talk to themselves are very confident and content beings.

    They derive their confidence from within. They know who they truly are and that gives them the strength.

    @Ruzanne, I liked the nick name you gave me – Sur. Many of my close friends call me Sur or Su. :)

    I would ask you all to visit my personal blog and read the other posts that I have written.

  • ruchi

    Agree Surabhi …Nature too has it that we talk to ourselves – each time we utter hmmm…but we make this calling faint in our zeal to look out..

  • http://theshynessproject.wordpress.com/ Brittany

    Good advice, and I think it’s lame that your teacher gave you a zero on your paper! He or she must not have been his or her own best friend. ;) I think that’s cool though that you are your own best friend, it’s not always easy to do that and it is important to be supportive of yourself!

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  • Mirror

     THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!

    Oh my gosh. I feel like we are the same person.
     i also have really great friends -  actually im a highschool student, and literally, the whole campus is on friend basis with me.not to be be concieted, but i guess im what you call popular.
    BU NOT because im rich or  beautiful, beacuse im not really  - i just happened to be blessed with a really great sense of humour and have been involved in a few things which gained lots of respect from the people around me- people who i can never consider as best friends.

     For me its cause ive been through a lot of hardships and had to grow up really quickly.
    my friends are so much younger in mind and would never understand any of my thoughts. whenever i try to explain a musing or thought, its too much, or too mature or they cant relate because they have yet to go through such an experience.
    I LOVED reading this article.
    im so glad that there are others who understand how i feel. i have always done all the things you have advised.
    i talk to myself often, and now i know why.
    i am my owns selfs best friend.
    i am proud and a beliver in what you have said.
    Now how do i explain that to my supposed ‘best friends’ without seeming concieted. :)
    xxx
    P>S you made my day. Thank you. i feel like im normal.

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  • i display all of the things on here not because i want to because i have to.. its seeming to control my life its been something i have done for years … Its put a big whole in my life and he people around me i dont trust anybody because of it and i need to know why i cant stop.. And is it a problem

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