Self-Improvement vs Self-Acceptance: Which is Right?

I read a lot of personal development material, online and offline – and there are two clear competing trends.

One school of thought says keep striving for improvement. Keep doing more. Lose weight. Get fit. Make more money.

The other says accept yourself just as you are. Love your body. Exercise if you like. Don’t look to money for happiness.

Who’s right?

Well, both approaches have advantages – and disadvantages:

The Self-Improvement Junkies

At its extreme, the self-improvement movement preaches the importance of constantly getting better. That has some obvious advantages:

  • You’ll improve your weaknesses – areas which may be holding you back
  • You may well improve your material conditions (your house, car, bank balance, etc)
  • You can achieve great things, accomplishing a lot not just for yourself but for the wider world

On the flip side, though, focusing too much on self-improvement means:

  • You may feel despairing because you’re never quite happy with your life – however much you do
  • Your achievements can feel empty, especially if you’re chasing someone else’s goals rather than your own
  • You can become judgmental – looking at others and thinking “she should get out of debt” or “he should lose weight”

The Self-Acceptance Hippies

The self-acceptance movement focuses on being happy with where you currently are. Again, there are some obvious advantages:

  • You can celebrate and focus on your strengths – areas where you’re already excelling
  • You don’t need to do a great deal in order to be happier – instead of buying a new car, you can be satisfied with the one you have
  • You’re likely to be focused on kindness, compassion and acceptance of others

But there’s a down side again, because focusing too much on self-acceptance means:

  • You may feel like you’re kidding yourself – trying (and failing) to be happy with your current life
  • You might not achieve very much, using self-acceptance as an excuse for laziness
  • You won’t necessarily stand up and speak out when there really is a need for change in the world

Combining the Two Approaches

It’s probably clear by now that I don’t come down on either side of the fence. There’s a lot of value in both self-improvement and self-acceptance – and I both positions can be taken too far.

Ideally, you want to combine the best of each. They might look incompatible at a glance, but they’re not. One way to bring the two camps together is like this:

You’re a wonderful and unique person with particular skills and attributes – and with the potential to use those fully in being your “best self”.

It’s perfectly possible to accept yourself just how you are, to love the body, mind and soul that you have – and because of that love, to want to keep developing and improving, striving to be the very best person who you can be.

Think of the way you might love your younger siblings or your children. You accept them just how they are, and you wouldn’t want to force them to be someone different. But you also want them to live their own best life – to step up to challenges and follow their dreams.

Today, think about which side of the fence you normally come down on. Are you too hard on yourself, constantly fighting towards goals that you might not really care about? Or are you too laid back, accepting things which – deep down – you really want to change?

Don’t Forget To Follow PickTheBrain on Twitter!

Related Articles:

Overcoming A Loss Of Motivation

Free Audio Books For Motivation


GET THE BOOK BY
ERIN FALCONER!

Erin shows overscheduled, overwhelmed women how to do less so that they can achieve more. Traditional productivity books—written by men—barely touch the tangle of cultural pressures that women feel when facing down a to-do list. How to Get Sh*t Done will teach you how to zero in on the three areas of your life where you want to excel, and then it will show you how to off-load, outsource, or just stop giving a damn about the rest.

62 Responses to Self-Improvement vs Self-Acceptance: Which is Right?

  1. Stephenpep says:

    viagra canada cheap generic viagra best place to buy generic viagra online

  2. Jamesgreat says:

    canada price on cialis cheap cialis cialis dosages

  3. Travisshoob says:

    viagra without a doctor prescription viagra for sale viagra for sale

  4. Eddievor says:

    prescription without a doctor’s prescription buy ed drugs new erectile dysfunction treatment

  5. Jamesspura says:

    where to buy viagra online buy viagra generic viagra doses 200 mg

  6. Jamesspura says:

    where to buy viagra buy viagra generic viagra otc

  7. Jamesspura says:

    viagra 100mg buy viagra from canada can you buy viagra over the counter

  8. Jamesspura says:

    viagra online canadian pharmacy viagra canada viagra pill

  9. Jamesspura says:

    viagra without a doctor prescription canada generic viagra online buy viagra online canada

  10. Ernestjiz says:

    canadian drug cheap ed pills google viagra dosage recommendations

  11. Ernestjiz says:

    erection pills that work ED Pills Without Doctor Prescription best cure for ed

  12. Ernestjiz says:

    do i have ed ED Pills best way to treat ed

  13. Ernestjiz says:

    natural ed remedies generic ed pills ed devices

  14. Dannymug says:

    how much does cialis cost buy cialis cialis or viagra

  15. Dannymug says:

    current cost of cialis 5mg cvs does viagra or cialis help with pe cialis vs viagra

  16. BruceBep says:

    is it illegal to buy prescription drugs online ed meds online without doctor prescription ed dysfunction
    natural ed cures

  17. BruceBep says:

    ed pills online natural remedies for ed erectyle disfunction
    drugs causing ed

  18. BruceBep says:

    pills erectile dysfunction prescription drugs male erectile dysfunction
    can ed be reversed

  19. BruceBep says:

    amoxicillin without a doctor’s prescription canadian drug pharmacy erectile dysfunction treatments
    medicines for ed

  20. MichealRot says:

    https://prednisonegeneric20.com/ prednisone prescription online

  21. MichealRot says:

    https://zithromaxgeneric500.com/ buy zithromax online cheap

  22. MichealRot says:

    https://zithromaxgeneric500.com/ zithromax online usa no prescription

  23. MichealRot says:

    https://prednisonegeneric20.com/ where to get prednisone

  24. WilliamMedlY says:

    buy sildenafil online sildenafil generic

  25. WilliamMedlY says:

    cheap sildenafil buy sildenafil online

  26. WilliamMedlY says:

    buy sildenafil online cheapest sildenafil

  27. WilliamMedlY says:

    sildenafil for sale sildenafil pharmacy

  28. xmc.pl News says:

    Just a fast hello and also to thank you for discussing your ideas on this page. I wound up inside your weblog right after researching physical fitness connected issues on Yahoo guess I lost track of what I had been performing! Anyway I’ll be back as soon as again inside the future to test out your blogposts down the road. Thanks!

  29. StephenNup says:

    buy generic 100mg viagra online buy cheap viagra viagra 100mg price

  30. RobinSeike says:

    ed clinics canadian pharmacy online treatment of ed

  31. RobinSeike says:

    best male enhancement canadian drug stores medications list

  32. RobinSeike says:

    generic viagra without a doctor prescription generic viagra best over the counter viagra

  33. RobinSeike says:

    generic viagra generic viagra amazon viagra

  34. RobinSeike says:

    natural help for ed canadian online pharmacy ed vacuum pumps

  35. RobinSeike says:

    buy viagra online viagra prices cheap viagra online canadian pharmacy

  36. RobinSeike says:

    п»їcialis cheap cialis cialis tadalafil 20 mg

  37. RobinSeike says:

    ed pills that really work canadian pharmacy viagra the best ed drug

  38. RobinSeike says:

    generic viagra cost viagra for sale how much will generic viagra cost

  39. RobinSeike says:

    does medicaid cover cialis generic cialis cialis coupons printable

  40. RobinSeike says:

    mail order viagra buy viagra online canadian pharmacy generic viagra

  41. RobinSeike says:

    the canadian drugstore generic Amoxil new ed drugs

  42. RobinSeike says:

    generic viagra india viagra coupons 75% off viagra online canada

  43. RobinSeike says:

    prescription drugs pharmacies not requiring a prescription prescription drugs online

  44. Traviserony says:

    cheapest ed pills online: prescription drugs online herbal remedies for ed

  45. Traviserony says:

    ed doctors: men ed buy generic ed pills online

  46. LarryCague says:

    where can i buy zithromax medicine zithromax 500mg price in india zithromax 500mg over the counter

  47. LarryCague says:

    best place to buy generic viagra online cheap viagra 100mg viagra price

  48. LarryCague says:

    viagra pills buying viagra online viagra coupon

  49. LarryCague says:

    best ed treatment pills canadian pharmacy how to get prescription drugs without doctor

  50. LarryCague says:

    warnings for cialis free cialis medication for providers how long does 20mg cialis keep in system

  51. LarryCague says:

    cialis pills cialis patent expiration expired cialis 3 years

  52. LarryCague says:

    buy generic viagra online viagra without a prescription goodrx viagra

  53. 私たちの選択には、1000を超える最新の新しいセックス人形があります。 お気に入りのモデルを選択するか、最初から設計することができます。 私たちはすべての新しいセックス人形に最高の価格保証を提供します。 sex doll

  54. It’s awesome to pay a quick visit this website and reading the views of all friends about this piece of writing, while I am also keen of getting familiarity. big breast sex doll

  55. 스모크밤269 says:

    The best e-cigarette liquid site in Korea. Korea’s lowest-priced 전자담배 액상 사이트 e-cigarette liquid.
    스모크밤269 스모크밤

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.