Everyone has to deal with difficult people, whether they are argumentative, abusive, stubborn, or combative. The question is, how can you assert your own rights without creating an unnecessary incident?
In most cases, angry people are screaming to be heard. They want to be valued, loved, and listened to. They want to feel important but aren’t able to express themselves constructively. With the right attitude, it’s possible to get past these insecurities and reach an understanding.
These 7 strategies will help you setting disputes quickly and peacefully for the benefit of everyone involved:
1. Remain calm. Be still and say nothing. Let the storm run its course. Often times the angry person wants to provoke you. Arguing is ineffective because it raises barriers. Consider how I handled the barber situation.
2. Let the other person do the talking. He or she will soon grow tired of it. Sometimes that’s all they want. To be heard. To feel important. Everyone wants to feel important. Some people just express it in ways that are counterproductive.
3. Genuinely consider the other person’s point of view. Imagine yourself in his shoes. Never say “you’re wrong.” In fact, try hard to look for areas of agreement and build on them.
4. There’s power in the words “Yes, yes, I see exactly what you’re saying. You mean…….” This shows the other person you hear him/her. That’s all they usually want — to be validated. By agreeing with them, you gradually break down the other person’s anger.
5. If the situation turns verbally abusive, put a stop to it. Firmly but calmly state: “You’re very angry right now and you’re saying things you don’t mean (give them the benefit of the doubt). I’m going to excuse myself. We can talk again after you calm down.” Then leave the room or ask them to leave.
6. If you are wrong, quickly admit it and take responsibility. You could say, “You’re absolutely right, it is my fault and here is what I’ll do to fix it.” Even if you’re NOT wrong, at least give them the benefit of the doubt, “I may be wrong, let’s look at the facts together.” It’s hard to argue with that!
These words have tremendous power. Not only does it validate the other person’s viewpoint but it also diffuses the tension. You might be surprised by what happens afterwards. The person could end up defending you. You’d be amazed how an attacker suddenly becomes an ally.
7. Use the power of visualization. If you’re dealing with someone you interact with on a daily basis (like a boss or co-worker), try to imagine that person as a loving spiritual being. I did this with a boss I had at a Wall Street bank several years ago. He was an absolute tyrant and gave everyone a hard time. In retrospect, he was clearly unhappy and insecure.
One day I started to visualize him as a loving grandfather. When he was in a good mood, he would lovingly talk about his grandchildren. His eyes and face would light up with incredible joy, leading me to realize there was a softhearted man behind the hard facade. Every morning before going to work, I imagined him romping around in the backyard on a warm, breezy day with his grandkids squealing and laughing with delight.
Long story short, this man promoted me almost 1 year later, in no small part due to the power of visualization. No one can dispute that this works because I’ve lived to tell the story. I’ve used it win trips to Mexico and Bermuda (sales contests at Merrill Lynch), to forgive those who have hurt me, to become the world’s first deaf instrument pilot, and to give powerful presentations.
Food for thought: Think about how you’ve dealt with difficult people in the past. Were you tempted to prove them wrong, trying to save face? Were you able to see through the facade and recognize that all they want is to be heard, loved and validated? Have you tried the power of visualization?
Stephen Hopson is a former Wall Street stockbroker turned motivational speaker, author and pilot. He blogs at Adversity University and shares his personal experiences in dealing with adversity through stories, observations, and tips.
How to Get Sh*t Done will teach you how to zero in on the three areas of your life where you want to excel, and then it will show you how to off-load, outsource, or just stop giving a damn about the rest.
Thanks for sharing, this is a fantastic article. Much thanks again. Awesome!.
I appreciate, cause I found just what I was looking for. You have ended my four day long hunt! God Bless you man. Have a nice day. Bye
canada viagra canadian pharmacy viagra viagra amazon
viagra without a doctor prescription mexican viagra where can i buy viagra
cialis free trial cheap cialis cialis 30 day sample
buy generic viagra online cheap viagra buy viagra online canada
buy anti biotics without prescription injections for ed medications for
canadian pharmacy online medication drugs best canadian online pharmacy
generic for viagra cheap viagra buy generic 100mg viagra online
viagra without a doctor prescription canada generic viagra online buy generic viagra
viagra amazon cheap viagra viagra online canadian pharmacy
viagra online usa buy viagra online how to get viagra
ed medicines ED Pills Without Doctor Prescription cheap medication online
buy anti biotics without prescription generic cialis drugs that cause ed
solutions for ed generic cialis drugs prices
ways to treat erectile dysfunction ED Pills buy prescription drugs online without
best over the counter ed pills Cheap Erection Pills natural drugs for ed
coupons for cialis tadalafil cialis generic availability
what is cialis cheap cialis cialis 20 mg
ed meds online without doctor prescription generic ed pills ed drugs list
treatment for ed best canadian online pharmacy legal to buy prescription drugs without prescription
cash advance payday loans no credit check instant approval
buy generic drugs online buy generic drugs online from india
buy cheap tadalafil tadalafil canada
personal loans payday loans online fast deposit
993231 69636Wow! This could be one particular of the most helpful blogs Weve ever arrive across on this subject. Basically Excellent. Im also an expert in this topic therefore I can understand your effort. 362785
ed causes and treatment https://sildenafilxxl.com/ online viagra prescription
563640 378858But wanna admit that this is quite valuable , Thanks for taking your time to write this. 961688
male ed canadian online pharmacy erectile dysfunction drug
Thanks for the post
viagra professional viagra where to buy viagra online
cheap ed drugs buy Amoxil ed cures that actually work
best ed pills non prescription best online canadian pharmacy erectile dysfunction treatment
cialis online pharmacy cialis discount card cialis 20mg price
ed cure Amoxil online best pill for ed
ed meds online without doctor prescription Prednisone drugs causing ed
viagra online usa buy viagra online viagra without a doctor prescription usa
samples of cialis cialis when is the best time to take cialis
natural ed treatments: ed medication best ed pills online
injections for ed: canadian drugstore online ed treatment drugs
viagra cost per pill 100mg viagra viagra cost
buy generic zithromax online generic zithromax over the counter zithromax 1000 mg pills
cialis prices 20mg free cialis best liquid cialis
zithromax zithromax over the counter canada where can i buy zithromax uk
cialis patent expiration cialis samples request cialis vs levitra
generic cialis coupon for cialis by manufacturer show cialis working
viagra otc viagra is viagra over the counter
This was an excellent article. Thank you for sharing it.
This was article I am saving. Thank you for sharing it.
certainly like your web-site but you have to check the spelling on quite a few of your posts. トルソー 型 ラブドール
Say, you got a nice article. Keep writing. You recognize, a lot of persons are looking around for this information, you could help them greatly. Sex Doll Blog
real sex dolls How do real sex dollss Settle the Japanese Sex Crisis? Offen eat apples may secure men’s prostate gland Types of Well known Silicone Dolls in the Market Cheapest Top notch TPE real sex dollss merchant in USA
アダルト ドール SILIドールのスキの写真とビデオによる大規模な監査なぜ本物のダッチワイフがますます人気があるのですか？ディルドがアクセス可能になり、新しいWMdollsサイズのセックス人形になりました！男性用の大きな胸を持つ168cmの熱いシリコーンのセックス人形
real doll MAKE Great Utilization OF YOUR Well deserved Cash ON Great QUALITY LOVE DOLLS
This was an awesome article. Thanks so much for writing it. I’ll return to see some more.
The best e-cigarette liquid site in Korea. Korea’s lowest-priced 전자담배 액상 사이트 e-cigarette liquid.
전자담배 액상 사이트 The best e-cigarette liquid site in Korea. smok25 Korea’s lowest-priced e-cigarette liquid. 스모크밤428 스모크밤
I loved it. Good article!