All my life I’ve been an inwardly directed person. While some people like to think out loud, I prefer to process the world internally, answer my own questions, and come to a conclusion before speaking up.
This personality trait has benefits and drawbacks. On the positive side, it’s a source of strength as a writer and analytical thinker. Without it I wouldn’t have taken an interest in books/writing and this site wouldn’t exist. On the downside, my tendency to keep everything inside is responsible for one of my major weaknesses — shyness.
Understanding Shyness
Shyness is rooted in fear — an irrational fear of speaking up and being humiliated or ignored. Why are some people so afraid of speaking out? In my mind the main causes are oversensitivity and insecurity. When you associate speaking out with pain and embarrassment, you’ll do almost anything to avoid it.
Unfortunately, shyness is an enormous detriment to success. For people who share this problem, it’s important to understand the causes and work towards overcoming it.
It’s Not You It’s Them
For naturally quiet people, the fear of speaking can arise from a few bad experiences, especially at an early age. When an adult reacts angrily or dismissively to an attempt at self expression, it’s natural to take it personally and shy away from future expression. Even if this only happens once or twice, people tend to exaggerate these incidents until they become mental monsters. Growing up, it took me a long time to realize how self centered people are. The way someone reacts to something you say usually has nothing to do with you–it’s more likely a reflection of the mood they’re in or a recent event in their life.
A key to overcoming shyness is recognizing these perceived slights for what they are–meaningless. When someone reacts to you negatively, don’t take it personally. Imagine the other person’s perspective. Is there something that may have put them in a bad mood? Are they trying to cover up their own inadequacy? Considering the perspective of the other person makes it easier to put their reaction in the proper context.
It’s also essential to let go of bad experiences. When you dwell on a bad experience, it grows into something much more frightening than reality. Don’t do this to yourself! The more you think about a bad experience the more power you give it. Don’t blame yourself. Think about something constructive. The more you can fill your mind with positive memories of speaking up the easier it gets.
Other People Aren’t So Different
Another important step in overcoming shyness is realizing that other people are basically the same as you. Everyone is insecure and afraid of embarrassment. Other people usually aren’t as smart as you think. If you have a question, chances are someone else is wondering about the same thing.
Don’t let one or two bad experiences dictate your entire opinion of humanity. By and large, people are friendly and interested in connecting with others. They’ll respond favorably to your attempts at communicating. In most cases, people will be thrilled that you took the initiative to break the ice.
Realizing Self Worth
The second cause of shyness is insecurity. If you don’t think you have anything valuable to contribute, what’s the point of risking embarrassment?
To get over this you need to recognize the merit of your own thoughts and the value they present to others. It’s ironic that the people most inclined towards shyness are often the most thoughtful. To reach your potential, you need to share yourself with the world. Your brilliant insights don’t hold any value until they’ve enlightened someone else.
The best way to get accustomed to sharing is practice. Force yourself to speak up, especially when you don’t want to. Sit in the front of the room and make yourself visible. Understand that sharing your insights with people is doing them a favor. Once you get used to opening up, you’ll notice how positively people react. This will build your self confidence and faith in the goodwill of others.
The Duty to Contribute
Overcoming shyness isn’t just something you should do for yourself, it’s also part of being a contributing member of society. When you have a thought or idea that deserves to be heard, you’re not only hurting yourself by keeping quiet, you’re hurting the people around you.
A basketball coach once explained to me how passing can selfish. If a player has an open shot that she can make, and she decides to pass instead, that player is being selfish and hurting the team. When you pass up the chance to excel because of shyness or the fear of failure, you’re hurting the group to shelter yourself.
Other people need you. They need your intelligence and insight. They need your help to work through problems. By hiding behind shyness, you limit the help you can give to your friends, family members, and colleagues.
A college professor of mine used to make a big deal about overcoming shyness. He called it a, “silly, foolish habit,” and said, “the sooner you can break it the better.” Shyness doesn’t benefit anyone. Saving yourself a little embarrassment doesn’t amount to much in the long run. By overcoming shyness, you give yourself the chance to be recognized and promoted. You create opportunities and open yourself up to forming meaningful relationships.
Don’t keep your talent inside, share at every opportunity so it can grow and flourish.
See also:
Image by mcwong
Don’t Forget To Follow PickTheBrain on Twitter!
GET THE BOOK BY
ERIN FALCONER!
Феодосий кавказский
generic name for viagra canada viagra viagra cialis
cvs viagra can you buy viagra over the counter how to get viagra
viagra online usa cheap viagra roman viagra
cheap generic viagra buy viagra online viagra canada
buy viagra generic viagra india is there a generic for viagra
cialis vidalista order cialis generic how much does cialis cost at walmart
cialis 20 image cialis without doctor prescription cialis free trial
viagra 100mg viagra viagra canada
generic viagra online viagra for sale buy viagra online cheap
best cure for ed errection problem cure ed pills otc
buying pills online doctors for erectile dysfunction erectyle disfunction
non prescription erection pills natural help for ed overcoming ed
viagra for sale viagra canada online pharmacy viagra
ed treatment pills
buy viagra online cheap canadian pharmacy viagra where to buy viagra online
generic viagra names viagra amazon viagra
viagra pills viagra when will viagra be generic
ed remedies
viagra from india buy viagra viagra generic
best place to buy generic viagra online cheap viagra online viagra prescription
drug store online
generic viagra online cheap ed pills viagra from india
viagra amazon buy viagra generic viagra professional
online drug store
natural remedies for ed errection problems best ed drug
best non prescription ed pills generic cialis ed pumps
men with ed ED Pills Without Doctor Prescription buy prescription drugs without doctor
ed cures that work generic viagra how to cure ed naturally
viagra without doctor prescription Cheap Erection Pills help with ed
cialis canada buy cialis cialis 20 image
cialis money order cheap cialis warnings for cialis
generic cialis tadalafil generic cialis side effects for cialis
фото кубани краснодарского края
best liquid cialis cheap cialis the cost of cialis
cheap pills online buy prescription drugs without doctor ed in men
otc ed drugs
ed meds online without prescription or membership ed pills online pharmacy canadian medications
online canadian pharmacy generic ed pills men with ed
buy prescription drugs
how to overcome ed online prescription for ed meds vitality ed pills
zantac generic for zantac
zantac recall generic zantac recall
valtrex without prescription us valtrex 500 mg tablet price
payday loans payday loans online
sildenafil generic sildenafil generic
compare pharmacy buy generic drugs online
personal loans personal loans with no credit check
tadalafil pharmacy buy tadalafil online
cheap sildenafil buy sildenafil
cheap sildenafil sildenafil pharmacy
tadalafil online tadalafil
canadian pharmacy generic drugs from india
drug store online https://sildenafilxxl.com/ generic viagra online
generic viagra walmart viagra viagra cialis
real viagra without a doctor prescription drugs without a doctor’s prescription india best drugs for erectile dysfunction
cialis 20mg generic cialis free cialis
fda warning list cialis cheap cialis the cost of cialis
ed medications comparison canadian online pharmacy canadian online drugstore
cheap viagra 100mg viagra pill viagra viagra from canada
viagra price comparison viagra sale how much will generic viagra cost
prescription drugs canada buy online: prescription drugs online without doctor psychological ed treatment
over the counter ed medication: ed treatment medication for ed
viagra walmart viagra without a doctor prescription usa viagra without a doctor prescription
zithromax generic cost can you buy zithromax over the counter in mexico where can i purchase zithromax online
viagra prescription online viagra otc viagra walgreens
cialis 100 mg lowest price cialis headaches afterwards cialis headaches afterwards
detectives privados cantabria
cialis going generic in 2019 in us 5mg cialis tiujana cialis
safe alternatives to viagra and cialis taking l-citrulline and cialis together normal dose cialis
generic zithromax 500mg zithromax prescription zithromax capsules
where to get cialis sample 5 mg cialis coupon printable cialis coupon
最高のダッチワイフはあなたを瞬間から引き離さない人形です、最高の現実的なダッチワイフはあなたがあなたの空想を生き生きとあなたの想像力を刺激することを可能にするものです ダッチワイフ 最新
It’s difficult to find knowledgeable people for this subject, but you sound like you know what you’re talking about! Thanks real doll https://sexdollsoff.com/
I should thank you for the undertakings you have made in making this article, https://www.lasvegasmobileiv.com/
I blog often and I seriously appreciate your information. This great article has truly peaked my interest.
에볼루션코리아
937uKrYZI$&#
에볼루션카지노
888IginYI~+[
에볼루션바카라
297IdmWAD#=^
에볼루션룰렛
839aaUGch|($
에볼루션블랙잭056JAFBKW|>/
The best e-cigarette liquid site in Korea. Korea’s lowest-priced 전자담배 액상 사이트 e-cigarette liquid.
스모크밤814 스모크밤
전자담배 액상 사이트 The best e-cigarette liquid site in Korea. smok25 Korea’s lowest-priced e-cigarette liquid. 스모크밤403 스모크밤
高級 リアル ドール あなたのブログ記事にとても感謝しています。どうもありがとうございました。本当にすばらしい。男性は等身大のラブドールの味を公然と受け入れており、ラブドールでの性的体験に本当に満足していると報告されています。
Pingback: Self-Improvement Paper – Shyness - Goodresearchessay
강남사설카지노
163JIqznr%~#
강남카지노
777dYdZrn<('