7 Undeniable Reasons Why Some People Fail Where Others Succeed

Written by Kevin Geary - 68 Comments
Categories: motivation, self improvement

success.jpg

“Success happens not by chance, but because you were given a chance and took advantage of it.” – Kevin Geary

To most people, being born in a free country is the greatest gift. To others, it’s a fleeting thought. For the latter, I feel sorry.

Before I go any further, I must admit that not everyone will find success. There will always be those who sit around waiting for success to find them. There will be those who are simply not willing to achieve it. And then there’s the fact that success would not exist without failure. All of these things create what we know; a world where success and failure are experienced by different groups of people.

Everyone in a free country has the opportunity to succeed. So why doesn’t everyone succeed? Because success and failure are choices made consciously and subconsciously and failure is chosen by many for various reasons.

Here are 7 undeniable reasons why some people fail where others succeed:

1. They Define Success Wrong

“Striving for success without hard work is like trying to harvest where you haven’t planted.” – David Bly

Do you believe that success is won, innate, or earned? The answer someone gives can tell you a lot about them, and why they are where they are.

Success is won: if you believe that success is won, you experience animosity and envy toward those you view as lucky or more fortunate than you. You also believe that success is out of your control; it simply depends on a flip of the coin or certain circumstances.

How hard are you willing to work if you believe that success is won rather than earned?

Success is innate: people who believe success is innate often feel the same as those who believe it’s won. The only difference is that believers in innate-success have a more pessimistic view of opportunity; it’s trivial to them (we’ll go over this a little later). Why does opportunity matter if success is innate?

How hard are you willing to work if you feel your opportunity doesn’t matter and your chances of success are nil because of your circumstances?

Success is earned: the last group of people believes what we know to be true based on statistical analysis; success is earned. These people understand that in order to succeed, they must earn it. How do they earn it? They climb the mountain and utilize the same process others have used to achieve.

How hard are you willing to work if you believe success must be earned?

2. They Define Opportunity Wrong

“The ladder of success is best climbed by stepping on the rungs of opportunity.” – Ayn Rand

Do you believe that opportunity provides a possibility of success, a probability of success, or that it’s trivial?

Let’s ask the same questions we asked when we discussed success:

  • How hard are you willing to work if you believe the opportunity you were born with is trivial?
  • How hard are you willing to work if you believe the opportunity you were born with is a possibility?
  • How hard are you willing to work if you believe the opportunity you were born with is a probability?

I hope this is coming together for you. I still want to go further though. I want you to see exactly how your views on opportunity and success work together to help determine your outcome.

  • People who believe success is won see their opportunity as a possibility, but sometimes as trivial.
  • People who believe success is innate see their opportunity as trivial.
  • People who believe success is earned see their opportunity as a probability, but sometimes only as a possibility.

In layman’s terms, the rich see success as earned and view their opportunity as probability. The middle class see success as earned and view their opportunity as possibility, but sometimes as probability. The poor class sees success as won or innate and views their opportunity as trivial, or in some cases as a possibility, but not a probability.

Of course, people don’t stay in one class their entire life. The people who move between classes tend to have the same outlook as those of the class they move to.

3. They Define Work Wrong

“The value of a man’s position is often determined by the number of people qualified to fill it.” – Kevin Geary

We just discussed two important terms: success and opportunity. In order to continue our discussion further, we must discuss another, “work.”

“But success doesn’t always come from hard work!”

Inevitably, people will point out that factory employees work harder than CEOs. Of course, this depends on your analysis of the word “work.”

Choose a corresponding term:

  • Physical Labor
  • Mental Labor
  • Labor

Those who claim that success doesn’t always come from hard work only acknowledge one aspect of work, physical labor.

Of course, work is labor, period. Excluding mental labor from the term work is biased and unfair. CEOs may sit at a desk, wear a suit, and enjoy the air conditioning, but that doesn’t mean they labor any less than the man in the shop room, it’s simply a different type of labor. Not accepting this is like making the argument that one who hates their job labors more than one who enjoys their job and the pay should be altered to make up for it. You see where this is going?

In terms of pay scale, people who run companies are worth a lot more than those who assemble products. Why? Because it’s easy to find people who can assemble products and it’s not very easy to find people who can operate multi-million dollar companies for a profit.

Needless to say, the man in the shop room wouldn’t have a job if the CEO behind the desk wasn’t doing his (and vice versa). The only difference is which job you’d rather be doing, and that depends solely on the choices you make throughout your life.

How do you think the CEO views success and opportunity? How do you think the shop worker views those same terms?

4. They Defeat Themselves

“To expect defeat is nine-tenths of defeat itself.” – Henry Mencken

While there is a minority of people who actually choose to fail, the majority that fail simply make poor choices or have a poor outlook. Basically, for the majority, failure is a choice but not a decision.

I can’t possibly list all of the bad choices people make which lead them to failure, but a few to get you headed in the right direction are:

  • Abusing drugs or alcohol / addiction.
  • Not getting an education.
  • Having a poor work ethic.
  • Having a child too young or out of wedlock.
  • Immaturity / laziness.
  • Borrowing too much money.

And the list goes on, and on, and on…..and on.

Of course, there are also those things which are out of someone’s control.

If you’re born into an inner-city family and attend a poor school system, you obviously start out behind others. If you’re handicapped, your road to success may be longer and more difficult. But none of this bars you from success; I’ll elaborate on this later when we discuss circumstances.

Lastly, as our quote up top reminds us, many people defeat themselves simply by expecting defeat in the first place. They don’t expect success and it actually becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. For more on this, you might like my highly popular article; Your Life Sucks Because You Expect it to Suck (and 10 Ways to Improve it Right Now).

5. They Think Failure is Final

“Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm.” – Winston Churchill

“But, hard work doesn’t always equal success. Some people work really hard, but fail. They tried and didn’t succeed.”

Failure is a key ingredient in success. Those who don’t achieve success most likely quit after their failure. Quitting, of course, is a choice.

If you were to follow in the footsteps of a successful person, you would likely pass the remnants of multiple failures. If you followed in the footsteps of a failure, you would find their lifeless future at the feet of their first opponent.

So the question is, how hard and for how long are you willing to fight? There are no shortcuts, statistically. The vast majority of millionaires are self-made and far too many lottery winners are broke and worse off than they were before they won the lottery. Why? Because wealth is about behavior and money doesn’t protect you from failure.

If you want to succeed where other people fail, you have to step right over failure and keep walking. The people who don’t make it let failure defeat them. Failure becomes their end result because they refuse to walk any further.

Look at it this way; if you aren’t dead yet, there’s still hope.

6. They’re a Victim of Their Circumstances

“The first step toward success is taken when you refuse to be a captive of the environment in which you first find yourself.” – Mark Cain

One of the biggest rebuttals given by non-achievers is that they are held back by their circumstances.

I don’t think circumstance is a fair argument though. Yes, you may be subject to circumstances that make it more difficult for you to succeed, but that doesn’t change the fact that you start with the same opportunity as others; the opportunity provided to you by living in a free country.

It’s also important to note that some people handle circumstances better than others. For instance, you can’t say that a handicap is a circumstance that prevents you from achieving when others with the same handicap have achieved.

Everyone has issues, circumstances, road blocks, etc. It’s all about how you deal with your circumstances and how hard you’re willing to work to overcome them. But the basics don’t change; you’re still in a free country and nobody is preventing you from achieving except for yourself.

Circumstance is also unimportant because it doesn’t determine finality. For example, a trust fund baby can lose his fortune with a series of bad decisions just as easily as a child from the ghetto can acquire a fortune with a series of good decisions.

Don’t be quick to judge others based on their circumstances. Instead, judge them based on their ferocity in overcoming those circumstances.

7. They Take No For an Answer

“Opposition is a natural part of life. Just as we develop our physical muscles through overcoming opposition – such as lifting weights – we develop our character muscles by overcoming challenges and adversity.” – Stephen R. Covey

First, you are given an opportunity. Then, based on that opportunity, you hatch a dream. And when you try to execute that dream, you meet your opposition. It is here on the battleground, facing the opposition, that success is either realized or lost.

Everyone faces opposition on their way to the top. The crack babies and the trust fund babies both have their own sets of problems. And you can’t assume that one faces more opposition than the other; everyone’s life and path to success is unique.

The one thing they do have in common is the opportunity for success. But, as you try to succeed, there will be people and circumstances around every corner that try to tell you no. The disability you were born with tells you no, your abusive parents tell you no, your pessimistic friends tell you no, your lack of self esteem causes you to say no to yourself, addiction tells you no, and so on.

The people who succeed are those who don’t take no for an answer. They shrug off the pessimism, they choose better friends, they put up boundaries with their family, and they surround themselves with positive people and things.

Conclusion

Success is possible for anyone who is willing to achieve it. There are many who want success, but there is a huge difference between wanting-to and willing-to. You have to be willing…

The other thing to remember is that your outlook and the way you define success, opportunity, and work play a large role in determining your outcome.

If you aren’t achieving, the first person you should always look to first is yourself.

This was a guest post by Kevin Geary from Change Your Tree. Kevin is also the author of The Good Parent’s Guide to Teaching Your Children How to Retire Young and Wealthy.

Image by Thomas Hawk.

  • http://www.varsityblah.com/about Eugene (Editor, Varsity Blah)

    It’s like John Maxwell says in Talent is Never Enough: “It’s about succeeding because you’re determined to, not because you’re destined to.” Great article, Kevin!

  • http://thoughtsintime.co.za Albert (http://thoughtsintime.co.za/)

    This kind of thinking lends itself to feelings of guilt for ‘all the opportunities that you haven’t grabbed’.

    In my own experience, the opportunities that we don’t grab are simply the ones that we dont want badly enough.

    For example, there are many books in house that I want to read eventually, but it is only the ones that I am burning to read that actually get read.

    So to me the secret to success does not lie in ‘Carpe Diem’.

    It lies rather in getting past what we think we should want to what it is we really want. Quiet and extensive contemplation about your inner purpose.

    Once you connect with that, you can’t help but grab every opportunity that comes.

    Albert@Headspace
    http://thoughtsintime.co.za

  • http://www.successmakingmachine.com Summy

    True. Everyone has it within themselves to try to achieve. If you aren’t trying to succeed, you are trying to fail.

  • Pag

    Good post, although I think your comment about having children out of wedlock or too young is extremely judgmental and out of line. How can you lump parenthood in a category with alcohol abuse and laziness? You’re making a value judgment based on your own personal beliefs. There is nothing inherently wrong–nor inherently failure-inducing–about having children at a young age or having them if you’re not married.

  • http://www.changeyourtree.com Kevin @ Change Your Tree

    Great quote, I love it!

  • http://www.changeyourtree.com Kevin @ Change Your Tree

    Pag,

    I’m not trying to judge anyone, I’m simply aiming to tell the truth.

    Children are expensive when you’re young and children are fragile in general. It takes maturity to raise a child and that responsibility shouldn’t fall on a teenager or someone who is not ready (but has a child anyway because of their behavior).

    Parenting a child when you’re too young, unmarried, etc. often leads to emotional abuse of the child because the parents aren’t ready, not to mention the child often doesn’t have a father…this, in my view, is worse than alcohol or drug abuse because you’re messing up someone else’s life instead of just your own.

    I know the truth hurts, but nobody will benefit by not telling it.

  • http://financialphilosopher.typepad.com/thefinancialphilosopher/ The Financial Philosopher

    I do not believe opportunities are won, innate, or earned — they are enabled…

    Your inference that defining success for ourselves and that self-awareness is the key to reaching that “success,” is absolutely true. If we know ourselves, then we place ourselves on the right “path.” It is our “path” that then leads us to the opportunities.

    Our “work” is self-acquaintance and the result of that work is what enables opportunity. It is for this reason that the greatest moments and achievements in our lives never seem to be the result of a “plan.” They just seem to “happen…”

    “As for the future, your task is not to foresee it, but to enable it.” ~ Antoine de Saint-Exupery

  • http://www.changeyourtree.com Kevin @ Change Your Tree

    Well, I was speaking about success being won, innate, or earned, not opportunity.

    Opportunity, in a foundational sense, is afforded to you by living in a free country. Some people never have an opportunity to succeed because they live in a country that oppresses them. If you live in a free country, that opportunity is yours to seize, regardless of your circumstances.

    Thanks for the comment.

  • http://www.pickthebrain.com Peter

    I don’t think it was your intention, but for me the “out of wedlock” comment has a tinge of negative judgement to it. I think your point would better be stated as “having a child while not being in a stable relationship”. There may be a correlation between having a child out of wedlock and that child struggling in life. But having a child out of wedlock would not be the cause of this, rather it reflects the fact that many, but not all, out of wedlock births occur in unstable relationships. In this day and age many couples are choosing not to marry for various reasons and still raising their children in nurturing and loving environments.

    Anyway, that is only a very small critique. Overall I think you did a great job with this article Kevin.

  • http://financialphilosopher.typepad.com/thefinancialphilosopher/ The Financial Philosopher

    I apologize if I stepped a bit off topic but my brain has a mind of its own…

    Once again, you were correct to emphasize the importance of defining words for ourselves…

    Following that logic, it would not be necessary to live in a free country to have an opportunity to be “free” or to”succeed.” Freedom, success, happiness, wealth, and almost any word you want to use to describe our being comes from within…

    I would never pretend to understand the experience of being “oppressed” but there are a number of accounts of people in seemingly hopeless situations who have found “freedom” from within…

    Viktor Frankl, a Holocaust survivor, comes to mind…

    “The last of human freedoms – the ability to chose one’s attitude in a given set of circumstances.” ~ Viktor E. Frankl

    Thanks again for the post and for provoking thought…

    Cheers…

  • Hector

    This was a very thought provoking article, the writing on some sections were too preachy, and not personal,as some of the articles on this blog, besides that it was an interesting read.

  • http://www.changeyourtree.com Kevin @ Change Your Tree

    Thanks for your comments Hector, I’m glad you liked it.

  • Eugene

    Kevin, I agree completely with your article, and especially with the comments regarding having children out of wedlock and to young. I come from a family of 6 brothers and sister, myself being number 5, and to make matters worse we grew up in Kentucky were there is a huge emphasis to get married and have children. I have watched all my siblings including number 6 do just that and all of them have experienced many many problems that could have been avoided, by waiting a few years to have children, and taking the time to pick a loving partner to have kids with. I think kids are great and I now have three, but they require a lot of time(your attention and focus) and money, and if you are trying to do right by them and manage an early career, it becomes difficult to make the right decision when opportunities are presented to you.

    Keep up the excellent work Kevin, I know that truthful articles like this are helping many people, it helped me.

    Thanks,

  • AC

    You did leave out the fact that some people are just born lucky and have no talent but achieve massive success with little to no effort…. And if you’re not born lucky, you need to get over it and work hard!

    Paris Hilton is a prime example, say what you want about her but she could buy and sell all of use combined. She is also lucky enough to be born with beautiful symmetrical features and with a naturally high metabolism.

    She was also just given a record deal and got to cut a CD and she didn’t’ even ask for it. She’s never written a song, never played an instrument, never struggled, never tried, never sang and she was just handed a recording contract… yes, some people are just plain lucky.

    That sucks and it’s not fair but, you can’t sulk in a corner about it or concentrate about it.

    Instead… how about remembering that Elvis was truck driver, the Beatles were four nobody’s from a dirty city called Liverpool, Eddie Van Halen was just a goofy kid with a paper route when he traded his drums for his brother’s guitar, the list goes on.

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  • http://www.kango.com/hotels/south_lake_tahoe_ca_family_hotel_263678179.html Kango Suz

    I’ve found that the belief that you will succeed is the number one requirement for success. I was brought up with the motto “Whether you think you can or your think you can’t, either way you’re right.” As a result, I’ve been able to achieve much more in my life than many of my counterparts.

    Thanks for the re-interpretation of 1 & 2, I’ve read them before but you restated them in a very aproachable way that resonated with me this time.
    -Suz

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  • Nic

    Great article! What you write is absolutly true, I am from a poor family, none in my village did have any success in job and they supposed me also, to be one of them.
    But I did not. I studied against the will of my family (it was pretty tough as you can imagine!) and now I am starting an academic career and I have my successes. And I love it. My family is now very proud of me. Often people are very jealous of me, they think that succees or discipline just came as a present to my home, but its not. I worked hard for it and that makes it evener worthier than getting it as a gift ;)

  • http://www.paulromein.ca/blog/ Paul Romein

    Awesome article – a really good read!

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  • http://zangoole.com Babak

    A really good article.
    Thank you.

  • https://www.triond.com/users/Tusaani Tusaani

    Great article! I loved it. What you have written should really be drilled into a lot of people!

  • http://www.glowingblack.com Nathaniel

    Or rather ‘If you aren’t trying to succeed, you are complacent with failure.’ I guess I see people that aren’t pursuing success as people that aren’t really doing anything at all? I say fight mediocrity with every fiber of your existence and in doing that, success is inevitable. cheers.

  • http://n/a Belal

    Far too many people gave without realising that they were so close to success…. are you one of them. No regrets from now on, march soldiers, no doubt when your being a trooper you will leave someone behind but fear not, when you’ve succeeded you can ALWAYS come back and get them but until them ONE goal ONE mission

    The fact that we are ALIVE is a success – have we forgotten how many millions of sperm’s raced to get us here. How success started before we got here. Success comes in 3 parts, the morning, midday and the afternoon.
    If you understand what I mean success will always be what you learnt what you do and how it’s left.

    Another way of looking at it is plant, maintain and reap. It will always be in 3 parts.

  • http://n/a Belal

    IGNORE the first paragraph … whoops

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  • AC

    Is there ever a time when it truly is too late to pursue success?

    For example, for some things in life in which you want to be successful, there is a limited window of opportunity. What if you really want something, how do you determine if the window has closed (if it isnt obvious)? At what point do you abandon a certain dream, or desire, and pursue another? In some cases, age, and the time it takes to overcome circumstances may prevent you from succeeding, etc. No one can be Prom King/Queen, at 55 years old, for example. A person can’t join the military at 61, etc. It seems that youth has the advantage in many physical-oriented tasks, and others as well. Many people do make mistakes in their youth; blaming them for this after the fact seems to be counter-productive to helping them continue to work toward and achieve success. No point in crying over spilled milk; closing the barn door after the horse has run away, etc.

    How do you overcome mistakes, such as those listed?
    Abusing drugs or alcohol / addiction.
    Not getting an education.
    Having a poor work ethic.
    Having a child too young or out of wedlock.
    Immaturity / laziness.
    Borrowing too much money.

    Or are you doomed to eternal suffering because of them?

    I believe that the real secret to success is confidence, charisma, and a solid support network. What do you do if you just dont have these attributes, or are not able to cultivate them?

    And what is success anyway? Somehow it always seems to be to end up financially wealthy, and/or doing something of positive recognition. Maybe there are some who consider themselves successful if they are able to keep their cardboard box warm at night, and to not have it blow away in the wind. But how many people would actually define success this way?

  • uhm

    how about people who sleep their way to the top- there are lots of them these days!
    i guess they work really hard! lol

    oh and im sorry to burst your bubble, but hollywood/ entertainment business is full of people who are completely untalented, and didnt do much to get there- you cant deny connections, seems to me you are in this article. painting everything with a broad brush just blinds everyone. sure try and succeed, have a good outlook, but don’t overgeneralize.

  • Suze

    Just because you are born in a free society does not mean life is fair nor does it mean you are born equal.
    A “crack” baby is born with an addiction and into poverty, what’s the trust fund baby born with? PRIVILEGE.

    “Crack” baby= foster care, no mother, no father, poverty, disadvantage, low self esteem, public underfunded school, lack of resources, boredom, unsupervised, petty crime, welfare, hunger pains, abuse, mental health issues, the bus, neglect.

    Trust fund baby= nanny, mother, father, class, status, confidence, elite private schooling, tutoring, luxury car, extra curricular activities, holidays, (dance, music, sport etc) money money money!

    What’s a trust fund baby crying about? Daddy didn’t buy me a new car?

    My problem is with the words success and failure. Who has the actual right to determine one has failed and by being wealthy does that actually really define success?

  • sally

    my mom recently told me not to end up successful like bill gates did. She told me that Bill Gates STOLE the pc from some guy and that it was wrong for Bill Gates not to have given the guy he “stole” the pc from a share of his profit. I told my mom that is was an investment and the guy who actually created the pc had just as much ability to try and sell it on his own — but he was too lazy.
    My mom has struggled her entire life and blames her failures on everything BUT herself. She was GIFTED with a very rare ability, but doesn’t use it (although it could easily make her a multi-millionaire). Instead, she just complains about how life has been unfair to her etc.
    She went into social work and even today after being thrown under the train sooooo many times STILLL wants to “help” people. It makes me so angry.
    I learned from her that either you throw someone under, or you’ll be thrown under.
    I had a hard childhood, but I just turned 20 and thank GAWD i woke up and smelled the roses. I realized that once you hit 20, although it is easy to feel resentful or born into the wrong circumstances…but it is now up to YOU (or in this case, me) to either build yourself up or throw yourself down. I decided to study abroad at least 3 times before graduating college. I decided to start my own company. I have started using “parental controls” aka leechblock to block sites which waste my time (ex. Yahoo! Answers), have become a member and placed the little money I have on Stickk.com (if I don’t do what I am supposed to, my money is GONE FOREVER)!
    I understand sometimes there are bad/uncontrollable circumstances, but at some point in your life you have to stop blaming other people like some people ABOVE are doing: ex. “but pariiiisss hillltoonnn was born into wealth. is thhhatt faiiir?” Okay, so you can spend the rest of your life sobbing about being born disadvantaged…or you can fix yourself…better yourself! Set a time line for yourself…make sure you are successful by a certain age. I want to have a few million dollars by the time I am 30 — who wants to spend the rest of their life in an office? I want to have fun with my life and when I have kids, I want them to NOT have to worry, to have a childhood where they can actually be kids, and frankly…I want to be a RESPECTED parent when I am older! I remember in Elementary school being embarrassed because my mom didn’t have a good job (and she drilled that fact in my head since I can remember!). I also remember she wasn’t able to provide for me as much as she would have liked to, although she tried. I don’t want to have to worry. I don’t want MY decisions to be: either pay the electric bill or buy christmas presents. I want my decisions to be: Buy the toy now, or after they get their grades in!
    I’ve known kids from old money and frankly…they ARE lucky, but even then…it is only when they are 18 that they really have freedom from their parents and 99.9% of them go to college like most of us ARE CAPABLE OF DOING! They STILL have to do hw, take test, get their diploma just like the rest of us. It might be easier for them, but it still means that if you make the right choices you can become…NEW money :o
    ps: to the ppl saying that some ppl get lucky and make money…IT’S NOT LUCK!!! They fill a NEED. If you already know that to become a famous actor/actress you need to sleep your way to the top…then by all means, give it a go and you’ll be rolling in dough! STOP COMPLAINING BECAUSE SOMEONE TOOK AN EASY OPPORTUNITY THAT YOUUU DID NOT!
    At a certain age ppl need to realize that it is THEIR OWN FAULT they are FAILURES.
    They also need to realize that they CAN be JUST AS SUCCESSFUL AS ANYONE ELSE OR JUST AS FAILED AS ANYONE ELSE! It really is your decision how far you want to take it. I’m taking college as a “fun” experience right now. I’m trying to keep above a 3.0 gpa, pay my way through school, study abroad in three different countries (i already know 2 languages), and just enjoy life a bit more relaxed before i get my company going (although personally…i don’t think starting a company is that difficult…ppl who think it is difficult maybe aren’t doing it right?)
    Anyway, i agree with this article!!! :D

  • Toni

    I am tired of seeing my fellow workers become supervisor over me. even though i have had 30 years of working as an nursing assistant. It doesnt matter. younger aides go to school with no credit issues. able to get scholarships and student loans. they get better education and go on to become lvns or rns. i have sat on the side lines telling them they can do it but feel i cant. why, i feel the lack of not knowing the math that is required to go on to college is beyond my reach. i dont know the time tables or subtraction or division. never saw algebra and forget going further. I cant compute my hours on my check that i get. I just take it for granted that it is correct. i am too ashamed to admit it and if i am cheated i wouldnt know. i feel that i was left behind. i thirst for knowing math. i know if i could do math the whole world will open up to me. i thirst for a career that i could be proud of. You have perhaps given me the courage to get help. To step over the obsticules. scared and frustrated.

  • Derek

    Thank you for writing that article. I found it very motivating. It really made things very clear to me. I read it often so I can keep my grades up. Thank you so much, Derek

  • Spider

    I was employed in a factory job for 8 years. In my 6th year I was seriously considering leaving and starting up my own small business. I kept my expectations low and realistic. My aim at first was to pay my bills and nothing more. Small steps. I told too many friends, neighbors and co-workers of my plans and quickly realized who my REAL friends and supporters were. Too many of these people began to cast doubt, question my plans and tried to take me down. This was crippling at first and made my transition more difficult. But, I eliminated every single one of these people from my life and am now working for myself, and able to pay my bills. I’m still young, so my future has hope and I feel more satisfied than I ever did with those 8 years at work. I would like to re-kindle some relationships that were lost during this career change, but I still resent these people for trying to ruin my plans and just don’t have any room to let them back in- because all they’ll do is pick up where we left off and cast more doubt in my mind. I just don’t have the power to let them back in. I feel so much more individualized now and I don’t rely on anyone else. I find myself keeping my career a secret- by this I mean that I don’t let anyone know too much. People just want to see you fail. These people MUST be removed from your life in order for you to move forward with what you want to do. They aren’t your real friends even though you might have thought they were. I learned this the hard way.

  • Nick

    wow! a lot of varying opinions to be certain. It is indeed difficult to define success or its value to each person. On a very basic level, one has goals and his/her success is dependent on the level of achievement of those goals. I believe that basic probability can have a significant impact on success, regardless of the individual’s efforts. Some people are in fact just lucky, others seem to have a good balance of positive and negative experiences, and still others endure incredible hardships with alarming frequency. It doesn’t matter where these people are born either. I know someone who was raised in foster homes until a teenager when he was adopted. His adopted family broke apart through divorce a short time later. He went to a tech school, but couldn’t secure a decent job upon graduation. He went to university, earned a degree while working two jobs and raising four kids. nine years later his kids are grown and he still can’t find a job teaching his subject. He has to substitute teach- or would you prefer I said ‘he gets to…’ since just having any job right now is a blessing! These are just highlights of the guy’s misfortune. Having endeavored to teach his children virtue, manners and compassion, they, now adults, treat him like some kind of leper, having little or nothing to do with him, unless they are in need. I’ve been in the car with him driving. Almost all the signal lights are red:( Almost all the schmucks not signaling change lanes only a few feet in front of his car- talk about dangerous- he refuses to speed, maintaining the limit all the time. Finally, other people either regard him as almost invisible. Yet he’s always smiling, hardly ever complains and will help out just for the asking. So what’s up? Mathematics. Probability suggests that there is a number of possibilities. Out of 6.8 billion people on the planet, some are bound to be ‘unlucky,’ as it were. It doesn’t mean give up, thinking you might be one of those unlucky, but don’t let others minimize your anguish either. As just an average Jane, I would advise this: if you believe you are unlucky, just keep on fighting anyway, because you are still not a loser- that occurs when you give up. spite probability.

  • Annie

    It’s not 100% right..

    What if you’re not born in a free country?

    What if you’re not born white ( it changes a lof of things no matter what people think)….?

    What if you’re born with a handicap?

    I think you should keep the positive attitude and try your best, but telling there’s no difference at birth is calling people stupid…

    There are barriers imposed at birth that you cannot overcome…. type of family you’re born into, money, country, skin color, health problems, etc…

    There’re plenty of scientific proof to support that…. For instance, recent studies have shown that poverty affects your brain in a negative way, so children born in poor families will grow up to have a less functional brain… no matter how much they try, the damage done between the ages of 2-5 is not reversible and it’ll make them unable to do certain things…..

    There are many others examples.. so, yeah…. you gotta keep a positive attitude, but don’t say you can do anything you just have to try hard…. that’s blaming people for things they’re not responsible twice – they did not choose to be born in the conditions they were, and if they tried hard enough and didn’t get far, they’re not to blame if those same conditions imposed limits on them.

  • http://www.mypromdresses.co.uk/ prom gowns

    I just cant stop reading this.

  • Joy!

    Thank you so much for writing this article Mister Kevin Geary. Good to see it still on this website.

    I read it for the first time a couple years ago, and it was the first step in the major overhaul I have done to my life. No longer do I think like a big giant loser….I actually know how to think, and think like a winner. I now refuse to quit and take no for an answer. Since making this mental shift, I have managed to create my own luck and attract huge amazing beautiful circumstances into my life…things that are almost unbelieveable, so I won’t say them here.

    Just know, readers, what this article says is THE THRUTH. Educate yourselves, and don’t blame anyone or anything. Not even yourself, just look inward and upward, then move forward. All of life’s beautiful bounties are there for the taking…for everyone!

    Again, thanks from the bottom of my heart for writing this and putting it out there for others to stumble across. I pray others are so powerfully moved and blessed after reading this article.

    (Judge me based on my ferocity to overcome all circumstance –yes, YES!)

    All the best….with gratitude, peace, courage and Joy!

  • silly

    Excellent article. I have been in business for years and come across all of these points. Many people think that I have been lucky but when I ask for help, paid work that is, I find people dont want to do the job I do, whether it’s sales or organising things with a careful eye for profit. They often see the rewards but like to think it is magic, not hard work that produces it.

    Good luck to people who are successful they have invariably worked for it.

  • Matt

    What critics you have, great article through and through.

  • http://www.thefastlaneforum.com/mindset-motivation/30182-7-undeniable-reasons-why-some-people-fail-where-others-succeed.html#post152943 7 Undeniable Reasons Why Some People Fail Where Others Succeed

    [...] [...]

  • http://tegustas.wordpress.com/2011/05/13/new-leaf-or-leaves/ New Leaf (or Leaves??) « tegustas

    [...] Kevin Geary gives us a more in depth look, and a list that we can identify with.  He states that people fail because they make too many excuses.  I have to agree with Kevin quite a bit on this one.  I don’t know that I would have applied for this new job, but I decided to quit making excuses. [...]

  • Diana

    You already know what’s holding you back, so go ahead and face the challenge head-on. Go to an adult class or hire a math tutor. If that’s too expensive or inconvenient for you, grab a Math CD-ROM and start with something extremely easy. It doesn’t matter if it’s aimed towards little kids. Have a family member teach you. Don’t be embarrassed. Throughout my life, I have encountered people who VERY secretly didn’t know math. They tried their best to hide it, but after a while, I would flat-out ask them if they did know Math because it seemed like they were struggling and I could try to help them. I helped this girl and she at least learned a few of the basics and hopefully she continued learning from there on.

    My dad also admits that he really doesn’t know math and I’ve offered to teach him but he doesn’t even want to learn. At least YOU want to learn. You’re in one of the best countries in the world to get help with anything, so take advantage of it. You will feel empowered afterwards.

    Also remember: Math is not really that hard. Otherwise, nobody would be able to do it. Keep it up and good luck! I’m sure you’ll do more than fine. :)

  • http://www.mindofsuccess.com/w-clement-stone-the-success-system-that-never-fails-part-6.html W. Clement Stone, Positive Mental Attitude, W. Clement Stone Quotes

    [...] So it does take more work to fail than to succeed. Related Posts:W. Clement Stone: The Success System that Never Fails Part 5W. Clement Stone: The Success System that Never Fails Part 10W. Clement Stone: The Success System that Never Fails Part 8W. Clement Stone: The Success System that Never Fails Part 4W. Clement Stone: The Success System that Never Fails Part 2 [...]

  • http://en.lifepractice.de/ Catherine

    Sadly, not too many people are actually aware of the fact that they create their problems themselves. Fortunately, I am not one of them! Thank You, Kevin

  • http://www.facebook.com/jeffersonfaudan Jefferson Faudan

    nice read and eloquently written! 

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  • Samueldgreat Sanda

    I think some people still fail because they do not understand their purpose in life

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_PA5N2Z5M4FFJWJ6JXUBVQ6O7BA oghogho

    this is a fact..destiny is true, you make it real positively

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_PA5N2Z5M4FFJWJ6JXUBVQ6O7BA oghogho

    thanks, i want to be a success.. i want to be rich.i want to make a change, i want to be wealthy. i will adopt this principles the reality of this teaching and attach it to my aims and dream.and also to my day to day activity..its better to try than not to try at all.. but first the fear of God is the beginning of wisdom—osaghae tunde-Russia(Nigerian)

  • Fataima Smacker

    but what if the opportunity is not provided to a person???????

  • Fataima Smacker

    and isn’t sheer determination the sole requisite fo success??

  • Stephenie

    But what if a person never gets the opportunity?Isn’t determination the sole requisite for attaining success?

  • http://shortmotivationalquotes.com/die-hard/ Die Hard | Short Motivational Quotes

    [...] will give you the fruits of success and a more valuable and brighter life. Read more the story…As long as we have a wish, persistence, and determination, a bar of iron when continually rubbed wil…s a must to have a determination, when we face troubles, hindrances, and obstacles of failure. [...]

  • Azure444

    Completely agree.  “Success” in terms of financial gain and ease, wealth comes to some people without any effort.  There is such a thing as the luck of the draw.  People step into things, most often people who lack any viable education, moral fiber, character, etc.  It’s like the Universe’s lottery.  Then there are some people, and I know some, who work extremely hard, keep positive attitudes, try never to give up, and come up against a slammed door over and over.  Could they keep going?  Yes, of course but age, health and other factors does impede a person.

    There’s merit to this article and certainly people create much of what is happening in their life.  It’s not everything though.

  • Azure444

    You bring up an excellent point about the path to achieving our dreams and goals.  Keep them to yourself, share only with a very small group of people — those who you feel certain will uplift and encourage you.  The majority of people are envious, jealous, petty and insecure.  They will cast doubt upon anyone who they perceive “getting ahead of them.”  Some of the worse offenders actually get joy out of seeing others fail.  Guard your life, guard your plans and your dreams.  And yes, REMOVE those who inflict negative energy on your life. 

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_ZIOX2Q2QHOM77SOAQG6SDXWUHY dancethenightaway

    okay i see that you’re on the right track. but there are those who are willing to but CANNOT or are not allowed to achieve their dreams. they made the best out of involuntary situations for years (excelled when they didn’t want to) and cooperated/compromised but when the time comes for YOU to shine and make something of yourself everyone turns their back. You turn ugly and give up because you made it a strict objective that when the time for you to ‘make it’ comes, it’s All or Nothing lest you go crazy. You are not going to compromise or bend your knee for these ruthless bastards/fools. And then they erase history with visions of you now> that you were always LIKE this. AND IT’S ONLY BEEN 1 year since I lost it. Unless you want to upset society and move out of the house – living poor alone or in a shelter for victims of abuse – you might as well commit suicide.  Look at it this way, “If you aren’t dead yet”, you might as well be rather than live a dead life: i mean i don’t want to see myself anymore.. it’s defeat, SUBMISSION, and humiliating (to see myself still not living my life) because I’m 19 now, still a woman american and being beat up.
                   Any help would be appreciated. I want to keep my job and go to medical school but how, without remaining in this hell? I don’t want to take out huge loans to dorm undergrad AND i don’t know what I’ll do if my grades drop
    Yes failure is final. This is not failure, it’s my choice to lose it (hope).. right? when there actually is no practical hope. Those years i cooperated, there were failures and i know what you’re talkinh about that’s why i said your on the right track. i know morality. There were failures but strength to get back up . . what strength?; The hope of Today. the Today that i’m defeated. now i know tomorrow never comes and i knew not to dream but there was no other way to survive (you don’t have a choice) without humiliating yourself / police involvement.
    thanks for reading.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_ZIOX2Q2QHOM77SOAQG6SDXWUHY dancethenightaway

    actually although i wish i committed suicide while still in high school or earlier because that would’ve made a greater impact, I’m still sorta proud that I’ve made it this far.. you know,  but where am i going with this? hell? I had expected much more work and activity/energy from myself but I am going mad from the abuse.
     - — “Keep on keepin’ on” and it gets worse.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_ZIOX2Q2QHOM77SOAQG6SDXWUHY dancethenightaway

    Some people become self actualized in their 20′s, 30′s, 50′s. For me, I had a knowledge and feeling of independence really early (17) despite the crazy circumstances or maybe because  of them, cuz they contrasted so deep with me. I only later related official terms – This is how it went down. I was sitting in my AP Psychology class pondering over  how this social science got the audacity to classify the human mind. With frustration I participated in this class; half of which was common sense and the other 1/4 based on assumptions. This was the routine of my thinking process throughout this basic course .. until my teacher brought up and defined a term; self-actualization and that pyramid. It wasn’t that ooh ah wonder but hey, wait I’ve been there already and it’s awesome feeling. I didn’t know how to react. For the first time I truly connected with psychology. I thought it was brilliant that someone actually found it necessary to coin a term for this. I wasn’t AlONE. and such a fitting term!

    ‘sally’ below calls it “smelling the roses” and goes on to describe her conclusions …

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_ZIOX2Q2QHOM77SOAQG6SDXWUHY dancethenightaway

    where are my other comments? maybe one was taken down for bad language but the others??

  • Lea304

    This article has truly been an inspiration. Thanks so much. Im so glad that I read this!!!!

  • http://coldplaywhore.blogas.lt/pirmasis-mano-irasas-ar-pasakyti-taip-3.html Pirmasis mano įrašas: ar pasakyti “taip”?

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  • http://lifelegendary.net/?p=205 The Life Legendary | 10 Reasons You’ll Never Accomplish Your Dreams

    [...] 7 Undeniable Reasons Why Some People Fail Where Others Succeed [...]

  • JBounds

    Becoming a success has a distorted view these days. I write Screenplays. I’ve written 10 of them and that is pretty successful just to finish them because it is very hard work.  Will I ever sell any? I believe I will at some point.  For right now I’m just writing the best I can.

    I also play music;Guitar/Singer and have been in many bands in a span of 20 years. That was my dream to make it and it never happened. But just to play music and be good and happy at it was a success.   Becoming famous for what you do is overrated, imo.