Difficult Times

5 Ways to Feel Better in Difficult Times

As much as we hear a spiritual evolution is at hand, in many ways we still live in a very physical, down and dirty world. It can feel like you are competing in a 10K with a bum leg.

Whether you are kissing up to your boss or negotiating with your creditors, this is simply not the life you imagined for yourself. The truth is when people tell you how good life is, sometimes you just want to slap them.

You understand the concept of having a positive attitude — you are not a moron. But the reality is you have another mortgage payment due, and not enough money in the bank. Okay, let’s all agree, this sucks. You have people counting on you—you wife, you son, your ex-wife, your mutt, your IRS agent, your Mom, etc, etc.

Now that we are on the same page (facing the reality that life is not fair) what can you do about it? Here are five practical things you can do to ease the pain:

1. Write. If you’ve never gotten in the habits on putting your thoughts on paper, start now. Keep a pad and pen next to your nightstand, next to your coffee pot, in your bathroom, on your kitchen counter, and on your coffee table.

When you have a predominate feeling, write it down. Pissed off? Write it down. Feeling blue? Write it down. Feeling anxious? Write it down. What were you thinking about when this feeling came up? What part of your body did it come from? What does it make you feel like doing? Write it down.

2. Visualize. Let’s say you just had a passing thought of how your ex-wife screamed at you two days ago (in front of your son). Okay, you have her picture in your mind, and your son is there next to you, wincing on cue—like father, like son. Change the face of your ex-wife. Put in Santa’s face instead. He got the white beard, the big ruby cheeks, the bright red hat with the puffy ball—the whole shebang.

Instead of your ex’s sweet raspy voice, you hear Santa joyfully ask you and your son what would make you happy. Santa says, “You name it, you got!” Cut to you and your boy—excited with anticipation.

3. Breathe. Once you have wiggled your way to a happier state of mind, breathe. Breathe deeply three or four times. Focus on you’re the breath coming in and your tummy rising. Breathe out, focusing on your body decompressing. Allow you breath to get to a normal, even place so that it feels balanced. Notice an energy moving from inside you, and experience the sensation it brings.

4. Meditate. Allow whatever thoughts you have to be there. If Santa is still there, that’s great. If your ex-wife reappeared, so be it. Don’t judge the blips of flashing thoughts, simply observe them as if you were on the bleachers at a football game. Know that you have no control over what happens on the field in front of you. Begin to see that there are really no good or bad actions, only different ones. Enjoy the variety and contrast-it makes for an enjoyable game.

5. Practice this new perspective in the real world. By this time you have your eyes open, and there is no Santa, and no ex-wife in front of you. Your thoughts are still moving in and out of your consciousness, but you do not feel controlled by them. Your problems have not disappeared but you start to look at them in a new way. You do not allow yourself to become emotionally reactive to events that take place. You tackle your problems objectively, like a surgeon removing cancerous matter from an open body.

Your dispassionate focus allows your mind to be clear of unnecessary, disparaging thoughts and emotions. Through this clear lens, problems become challenges, and challenges become opportunities for learning. When a so-called problem now arises, you welcome it. Wisdom is one step closer.

The steps listed above may seem a bit simplistic. They are in a way, but what makes them challenging is that they need to be done consistently, every day, throughout the day. There are no easy answers, and no quick fixes to dealing with chaotic events.

A life of greater ease is open to those who possess wisdom and patience — it’s a good thing you were created with these wonderful qualities. Remember that you are made from divine energy, pure source, our inner source. All you have to do is be open, and let it flow.

Kim McGinnis is a freelance writer and entrepreneur. Most recently she has co-developed a website dedicated to helping others gain access to their inner power, Our Inner Source. For informative articles, exclusive interviews, inspiring videos, a unique gift shop, and more…visit Kim at http://www.ourinnersource.com.

Image by Scott Lidell 

  • http://experimentsinliving.wordpresss.com Kate Saltfleet

    I enjoyed this post – for me the tone just hit how I am feeling. Simple but not easy just about sums up the quest for self knowledge. There is no easy answer or glamorous solution, just keeping on working at it. Thanks for these suggestions which offer some light when results are slow to show up.

  • http://chiron.centaurs.ru/ Valery

    Kim,

    First off, I am personally very thankful to you for publishing this article. For me it is special in that it has a practical, realistic approach to problems we have to tackle. You do a very good job of explaining the great power of these 5 steps – the power that comes along with their simplicity. The article, it seems to me, briefly and unobtrusively touches the topic of spiritual nature of man. Which underlines the idea of how important out inner power is, and what we can possibly accomplish if we change the attitude towards even most harsh circumstances. I think the article states clearly that changing your view towards a problem is not escapism; it is enabling yourself to seek more effective ways of solving it.

    Finally, I was happy to read these lines:

    “The steps listed above may seem a bit simplistic. They are in a way, but what makes them challenging is that they need to be done consistently, every day, throughout the day. There are no easy answers, and no quick fixes to dealing with chaotic events.”

    You cannot take these steps once and hope you’re done for the rest of your life. Self-improvement (as well as magic) does not work this way. The actions and attitude described in this article should become part of everyday life, only then it is going to change.

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  • http://bloggers-journey.com Kenneth

    I like to express it out whem I’m not feeling good. So write it out definitely works for me. Feel better after doing that. Nice post

  • http://7pproductions.com/blog Al at 7P

    I like #1 (Write), but I propose making it more general. How about calling it “Sharing?”

    It can be in the form of a freestyle note that you burn or shred after you write it, or it could be a personal diary entry or even a blog entry to share with the world.

    I actually prefer sharing one-on-one with a good friend, because I get feedback. It helps to get confirmation that you are not alone in all this.

  • http://www.varsityblah.com/about Eugene (Editor, Varsity Blah)

    Great post, Kim! I think the most important message here is to open up and express yourself, no matter what medium works for you (verbal, written, etc).

    Personally, writing has always been the perfect outlet for me. Writing a book last year was such a cathartic experience and being able to share it with other people seems to have been cathartic for them too!

  • http://www.eddiestarr.com Eddie Starr

    a nice long warm bath always helps me out a lot too :) thanks for this article, much apprecaited

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  • Chris

    My favorite mood booster: exercise, especially outdoors, in fresh air. Doesn’t have to be sunny out, but that also helps.

  • http://www.ourinnersource.com Kim McGinnis

    Yeah, it doesn’t get much better than that-especially on a crisp, cold day when the sun is out. I just got back from walking my dog-and it was just that kind of day-very nice.
    Thanks for the reply.
    come see me on my blog: https://www.ourinnersource.com/blog/index.php

    Kim
    Our Inner Source

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  • http://www.ourinnersource.com Kim McGinnis

    I think that working out is a great way to release negative energy – so I applaud your efforts.

  • http://www.wisdomgettingloaded.com/ tracy ho

    Thanks I will try your powerful point,

    to your success
    Tracy ho
    wisdomgettingloaded

  • fem

    Thankyou for your inspiration.

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  • http://www.believeplacebo.com Bill

    Here’s another one: a unique pill that helps you feel better… http://www.believeplacebo.com

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    Ithink breathe is all i can do in difficult times

  • Ryan

    Loved this article! Lots of great points. If you want more information on how to deal with difficult times, check out these 3 free videos Sonia Ricotti, Bob Doyle, and Marci Shimoff where they discuss how to bounce back quickly when life knocks you down. http://www.beunsinkable.com

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