20 Secret Ways to Build Your Confidence

Want to build your confidence? Here are 20 ways to help you build it.

Act as If

The saying, “Fake it ’til you make it” is true. Confidence is all about how you feel, and if you start acting as if you are confident, you will be.

Use Affirmations

Repeat the mantra every day to yourself, “Today I’m starting to feel more confident in myself.” What you continually say to yourself will eventually become true in your own thinking.

Realize What Limiting Beliefs are Holding You Back

If you believe that you’re “not good enough” or ugly, then you won’t be able to feel confident. Get aware of what limiting beliefs are weighing you down.

Change Your Posture/Power Pose

It’s a scientific fact that changing your posture sends a signal to your brain, and tells your brain how to feel. Stand up straight, with your shoulders back, and then see how you feel.

Model Other Confident People

Know a confident friend? Observe them and start to model how they act and how they think. You’ll eventually take on their confident energy.

Exercise/Work Out

Hit the gym and see how you feel afterwards. Lift weights and bench press or do push-ups. You’ll notice that you’ll be standing taller when you leave.

Visualize Yourself Being Confident

Schwarzenegger did it. He imagined himself on stage winning first place in bodybuilding competitions. If you can see it in your mind, you can create it in your life.

Recount Your Successes

Recall the times when you were successful — when you got a good grade, met a new friend, or got the job you wanted. Reminding yourself of these times will remind you that you are capable of doing it again.

List Out the Things You Love About Yourself

When you list out 10 things that you love about yourself, you’ll focus your mind on the reasons why you’re great. And then you’ll feel better about yourself. Try it!

Journal Power Questions

Ask yourself “Power Questions” and then write down your answers. For instance, “What’s holding me back from feeling more confident?” “What do I need to believe in order to increase my self-confidence?”

Do Activities that Build Your Confidence

When do you feel most confident? If it’s playing a sport, writing a story, or walking your dog, then do that activity. Do the activities that make you feel powerful.

Identify Your Inner Critic

Is there a voice in your head telling you that “You’re not good enough”? Recognize the voice — your inner critic — and realize that what it’s saying isn’t even true.

Dress Better

Look the part. Go shopping or start wearing your best clothes. You’ll see yourself better and feel more satisfied with how others see you.

Trust in Your Competence

Know that you’re good at what you do. Know that you’ve had successes in the past, and you’ve gotten to where you are today from being extremely capable.

Get a Confidence Coach

Hire a life coach to help you find ways to build your confidence. They’ll give you exercises and “Power Questions” to help you find your mental blocks.

Project Your Voice

Confident people speak more loudly. Shy people speak lower. Don’t be afraid to speak up and project your voice a little more, even if others overhear you.

Avoid People Who Put You Down

Stop spending time with people who make you feel small or unworthy. Avoid hanging out with people who put you down or make you feel bad about your capabilities.

Expect Success

Imagine that success is on its way, and you’ll take on a new attitude. Expect that things will work out, and you’ll feel more optimistic.

Listen to Music that Pumps You Up

Play your favorite tunes that empower and inspire you, the music that makes you feel great. Rocky soundtrack, anyone?

Ask a Friend

Ask a close friend or family member what else you can do to feel more confident. They know you all too well, and they might help you identify what you need to do.


Want to feel more confident? Feeling stuck in a rut? Click here to learn what a life coach is and read our complete guide to find out how to find a life coach and move your life forward. At Life Coach Spotter, we help you build your confidence, find your path, reach your goals, and create the life you want.


Erin shows overscheduled, overwhelmed women how to do less so that they can achieve more. Traditional productivity books—written by men—barely touch the tangle of cultural pressures that women feel when facing down a to-do list. How to Get Sh*t Done will teach you how to zero in on the three areas of your life where you want to excel, and then it will show you how to off-load, outsource, or just stop giving a damn about the rest.

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