• MoneySheep

    Barrie, what makes you come up the 12 things?

  • http://mamalovesthebeach.blogspot.com Beach Mama

    Fabulous post Barrie!

    I’ve done every one of the things on your list and as a result live a much happier life . . .

    left an abusive 26 year marriage . . . nearly had to cut off my arm to sell my home but now living my second dream life on the coast with my dreamboat husband . . .

    sometimes that leap of faith is so painful we spend more time standing there looking out into the unknown fretting, letting life slip away . . .

    my mantra is, “what’s the worse thing that could happen?” If I’m asking myself this question I know I need to take a leap!

  • http://www.lifetofullest.com Lou Macabasco

    Hi Barrie, I just wanted to let you know how much I’ve liked this article. I couldn’t agree more to the 12 things you’ve mentioned we shouldn’t tolerate. Sometimes, we get too excited on what we want to have that we forget to unclutter our life by removing the things we shouldn’t have. This is why we feel overfatigue and stressed with our life. Your blog post is a great reminder of the importance of simplying and making life easier. Cheers! Lou

  • Mike

    Well put. I find it amusing that this list is roughly half advice I pass along and half debilitating problems in my own life.

    Thank you for this insight!

  • http://www.addicted2scents.com Scentsy

    This comes in a timely part of my life. I am the midst of some big changes to help avoid these 12 critical things. It’s a big step and scary at times, so thank you for the reminder that I’m on the right track.

  • Dave

    Anyone with enough confidence and drive to actually change anything on this list already has enough drive and confidence to not suffer from anything on this list. If they do not, they never will.

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  • Yasmine

    i love the article and strongly agree with it

  • http://www.electric-guitars-rock.com RobFonner

    I’m copying and pasting as fast as I can! Excellent!

  • Adam

    The notion that you have to love your job is totally ridiculous. It’s about a paycheck! If this was true, we would have nobody paving roads, collecting garbage, nobody waitressing at restaurants and no secretaries! Loving your job is some new-wave hippie jargon. Just work and get paid. Go home and enjoy your time there! Loving your job should be considered as a bonus, not a necessity.

    • Star

      I disagree. Loving your job is not about what you do, its about how you feel about what you do. It’s about the attitude you choose to carry with you all day everyday. A guy paving roads might love the fact that he gets to work outside and not cooped up in an office. A secretary might love the fact that she is an integral part of the team, making life easier for others. I was a secretary for many years and I loved my job. Loving you job may be a bonus but it is one that everyone can have if you merely choose to.

    • ithildin

      The author isn’t saying you HAVE to love your job. The important point is that your job should not make you unhappy all the time.

  • Marie

    I suppose it’s true that most people don’t like to commute, but besides my environmental impact, I really do like to just get in my car, turn on my music and sing until I get to where I am going. I also listen to educational podcasts or get caught up on the sporting world. It’s a good time.

  • http://homecleaning00.livejournal.com/ Victor Wilke

    I do not know if it’s just me or if perhaps everyone else experiencing problems with your website. It appears like some of the text in your posts are running off the screen. Can somebody else please provide feedback and let me know if this is happening to them too? This may be a issue with my browser because I’ve had this happen previously. Thank you

  • Dane

    Wow… This is completely unrealistic garbage. It’s so obvious and ignorant at the same time.

    • kbgirl

      Maybe you should reread number six.

  • Matt

    Can you add excessive pop up ads to this list?

  • Christine

    Much of what is listed here is just part of life. If one has the means to change their career, up and move closer to cut down on commute time, and cut out all financial problems, they should definitely do it. But for many people, these things are just not feasible.

    Most of this list is just fluff.

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  • http://www.offtheme.com Lyss goes off topic

    I really need to stop smoking and sort out my problems in work. As you say, we spend more than half our waking lives there. I’m sick of sorting out other peoples problems. It needs to stop.

  • Gary Chiro

    Definitely one of the best ways to get away from a negative mindset is turn off the TV and stop reading the news.It will give you that holiday feeling 

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  • http://facebook.com franciz

    wow!

  • http://facebook.com franciz

    life changing article. thank you for posting this :)

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  • http://www.drdeborahhecker.com/ Divorce counselors

    I was trying to choose a favorite from this list, but they are all great!

  • Tea

    Well that’s sad. Everything on this list applies to my life but I’m not going to change anything.

  • http://www.motivation.net.au/ Motivation

    Well all these points are true, none of these should be tolerated but it is also true that balancing between these are quite impossible as some of theses are unavoidable for some people as not every one is perfect.

  • joe

    This list totally contradicts itself at one point. We are supposed to be happy at our jobs, and if we aren’t we are supposed to change that. In reality for a lot of people their jobs and salary are hard-won and in this economy very important to them. A job is first and foremost about a paycheck and gaining financial security. A little further down the list it mentions financial problems and says “do whatever you can to lessen the stress, even if it means delivering pizzas for a while.” So you’re telling me to lessen the unhappiness I may be feeling at my job and “Don’t settle for living this way forever. Find a job that you love.” But after I do that and no longer make what I was at my high stress, high paying job I am supposed to solve my financial difficulties by delivering pizzas? Complete bullcrap. This list can be cut down to three points- motivation and inner strength and logical thinking. People who have these and use them on a regular basis easily solve the problems they may be having.

  • Binthaire

    Well, I should just go out an shoot myself. EVERYTHING on the list applies to me and my husband. We’ve been married for 27 years and are devoted to each other. He works very hard at a demanding job. Sure, he’d love to write books, have a cooking show, or some other dream job, but who actually does those things? A very small percentage of the people on earth. The list may have most meaning for the young who think that the world is a great adventure just waiting to be explored. The rest of us have to struggle, raise kids, and find happiness on a catch-as-catch-can basis. The best advice is to try to reduce worry and live in the moment.

  • http://www.serenityhunter.com Todd Hash

    Brian – Thank you so much for this article.  I think you hit on some key elements for many people. 

    I would perhaps add one more thought and that is tackling just one or two areas at a time – perhaps one each a month – rather than trying to “fix” them all at once.  Trying to tackling everything – or too many things – at once is something I’ve been frequently guilty of.

    • http://www.dulithawijewantha.com Dulitha R. Wijewantha

      Yeah @serenityhunter:disqus  you are truly correct I find it overwhelming to correct my self too much… But I think people shouldn’t consider them self as broken and needed to be fixed… They should probably think that changes will bring good on to them and the overwhelming feeling will start to disappear this way… (Tried it out myself and it works perfect for me)

      And the post is really great…

  • http://www.laventanatreatment.com/steppingstones/addiction Drug Addiction Rehab

    I was trying to choose a favorite from this list, but they are all great!

     

  • Joe

    Gee, it all seems so easy now! Great article, very informative.

  • Red

    How amazingly idealistic. Don’t stand for financial problems, genius. 

  • Nick

    Great article Barrie

  • http://www.laventanaed.com/ Alcohol and Drug Rehab

     
    I was trying to choose a favorite from this list, but they are all great!

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  • person

    This is great. If you’re middle class. The reality is that there are a lot of road blocks for people just picking up and finding a new job. This ignores the reality of the economoics and social divide that exists in our society that puts many people into situations that these little “tips” cannot help. While having a postivie outlook is great, and we should always do what we can to be grateful and happy, the start of this article sounds a little randish to me.

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  • Jason

    1, 3, and 9  are actually in direct opposition to your advice for 8. Many of us are in bad financial straits. Your advice is “take any job you can.” But if that job makes you unhappy, and has a long commute, and damages your integrity (Mine does all three! Plus I work too much to have recreation!) then that casts a pall over your entire thesis.

    So after 9 I sort of stopped reading your pie-in-the-sky Pollyanna nonsense

  • http://www.freelancewritingdreams.com Samantha Gluck

    One of the BEST stories I’ve read so far this year. This list was already written down somewhere in the recesses of my mind — I think it is written on the hearts of all humans, but we tend to forget. When we forget that we shouldn’t tolerate these things, everything starts to spiral into chaos — bit by bit. Thanks for reminding me of these truths…

  • http://www.freelancewritingdreams.com Samantha Gluck

    One of the BEST stories I’ve read so far this year. This list was already written down somewhere in the recesses of my mind — I think it is written on the hearts of all humans, but we tend to forget. When we forget that we shouldn’t tolerate these things, everything starts to spiral into chaos — bit by bit. Thanks for reminding me of these truths…

  • Courtney

    Typo: ” We you aren’t communicating properly” ;) no judgement. Loved the article!

  • Guest

    Wonderful article. I mean really what is wrong with people these days?? They should all follow your insightful advice and fix their lives. It is just too easy to not do it.

  • Christopher Filippou

    Hit the nail on the head. I especially want to emphasize #6. Negativity is everywhere and all over the news and we don’t even realize it half the time. Why is negative news “newsworthy”? I shut it out.

    I only get my news now from positive sites like http://www.sunnyskyz.com. Websites that only tell you about all the good happening in the world, and believe me, there is a ton of great things going on. Ditch the local news. It brings us down!

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  • Zenterrapin

    While #4 makes sense for the most part, I don’t think “crazy” people deserve to be summarily abandoned.  The word “crazy” ranks right up there with “retard”, by the way.  The term is “mentally ill” and even that’s not accurate; “brain disordered” is more accurate.  The brain is an organ like any other organ; it can malfunction, but calling it mental makes it sound like a character disorder.

    It’s cruel to kick someone to the curb for having a brain disorder, just as it is cruel to kick someone to the curb for having diabetes or a missing limb.  While you may have to set limits on how much time you can spend with them for your own well-being, don’t make the hellish lives of “mental patients” (brain-disordered) far more agonized by dumping them as not worth knowing.  Would you appreciate being summarily devalued for something you couldn’t help?  Even if you’re taking the meds?  Our society already lacks compassion; let’s not make it worse.

    • Norahull

      This is a VERY good point. Thank you.

  • Norahull

    What if one of your biggest drains is a parent who is negative all the time? How do fix this without hurting that person?

  • nicepersoninlife

    Very nice article

    yes many of us are trapped and it is not that easy to get out of it. 

    i work in a career i hate. i didn’t used to hate it but after doing this for a couple of decades i hate it.

    why don’t i quit? because i make a lot of money.

    for what i do, the jobs are in the city but it is very expensive to live close to work. the average decent home close to work is around $700k. trying to afford that kind of mortage would mean i am even more trapped.

    i did find a job closer to where i live but it pays less and we are struggling as my husband is unemployed.

    so once again, i can’t really quit.

    i like to travel and stay in nice hotels and shop when i travel. i really really love that so i need money to do that.

    unhealthy lifestyle, i am working on this so i think anyone can start on this one at anytime. we are stuggling against a lot of obstacles with advertising, social and familial conditioning to accept a poor diet. it keeps the medical and pharmaceuticals rich though.

    disordered and too much stuff.
    got rid of a bunch of junk and it really is freeing. still somewhat disordered because of living in a house we hate.

    negativity, really good with this one. i am usually quite positive. i do regular meditation.

    financial problems, sort of in a way. it is more trying to pay this mortgage and my husband being unemployed. i make enough to pay the bills and save. it is not an issue there but to do it i work in a career i hate.

    draining relationships, mostly got rid of those too. toxic parent and leeching friends, got rid of them. not too bad. my marriage is a little unhappy with my husband not seeking employment. not sure how i am going to resolve that.

    fun, sometimes i have lots of fun sometimes not. i really would like to travel more and do more shopping. 

    ignorance and inertia, probably not, more so at not knowing what to do to make things better. if i quit, what would i do? i have no idea? 

    lack of communicaion, that could use some work in my marriage.

    so yes, i am working on some of these things already and at least thinking about the rest of them.

    • blah

       blah

  • Xhristina

    Amazingly accurate.  I find that relationship to the self is most important, as all other relationships are only reflections of that of our own.  

  • Sain Sucha

    Good suggestions, worthy of serious thought!