Are you winning at the game of life or are you just simply playing not to lose?
Let me tell you a story…
There once was a fish named bobby.
He swam all around as his hobby.
He’d pick up some food then leave it as crude and now he is dead in the lobby.
You see, there are so many people with bad habits of not finishing what they start. Are you one of those people who blame that your lack of results is based on disorganization or a lack of focus?
If you are one of those people who operate in this manner, you are playing not to lose.
Dis-empowering habit patterns like playing not to lose are often developed in childhood. For example, a father yells at his young daughter’s drawing she may have colored on the wall because the young girl didn’t recognize that the wall is not an appropriate place to express artwork. After repeated incidents of getting in trouble in such a way, the young girl may have drawn the conclusion that she couldn’t win.
She didn’t like the pain of not winning so she unconsciously adopted the strategy of trying not to lose in the future. It was at this part in her life that she decided she was incapable of winning and lowered her expectations to merely not coming in last.
And because most people have developed belief systems like this at such a young age, not finishing what you start is one of the many habits you fall back on when playing to not lose.
For instance, playing not to lose may have worked for you in the past because if something is incomplete, it cannot be judged as not good enough. You can easily just say that it’s not “finished” and push it aside.
But if you strive to win at this game of life, you can’t let excuses like this hold you back from realizing your own greatness! Winning at life really doesn’t have to be that hard.
And the sad truth is that people play the game of life to not lose in many ways…
- Playing the Judge. By being the judge, you never have to be the participant. By pointing out how imperfectly others are singing, as an example, you get to avoid singing yourself, which could open the door to you failing at the task and being humiliated.
- Being perfect.With this approach you attempt to not lose by doing everything as perfectly as you can, or at least by acting like you are a “perfect” angel. You never really relax or let your guard down. Instead, you overdo everything making life much more difficult.
- Becoming a “problem.”If you take on the role of a problem maker, others will need to stop and take care of you. This is a form of self sabotage because others are directing their time and energy towards helping you and are less likely to win themselves since you don’t want to win yourself.
The key role in playing the game of life to win is to recognize that you’ve been playing not to lose.
If you haven’t and you aren’t any of the 3 type of people above, good for you keep growing and making adjustments within your life!
But if you have, it’s time to shift that behavior now!
Embrace Constructive Criticism
Your decision to stop playing to win was most likely an unconscious one. You received feedback that you interpreted as condemning to your abilities and who you are, so you developed this dis-empowering belief about yourself.
An important step in shifting this belief pattern will be in recognizing feedback for what it is: Information that tells you whether you are on course or off course.
When you get negative feedback – such as lack of results, little or no money, criticism, poor evaluation, inner conflict, and unhappiness – it’s a sign that you are moving away from your intended goal.
When you receive positive feedback, such as praise, happiness, money and results, you’ll know that you are back on course.
Focus More Precisely
Another thing you can do if you’ve developed a habit of not completing what you start, is to train yourself to sharpen your focus.
Create a clear mental image of what you want to accomplish within the next year or even for your entire life.
Have faith that you can become what you want to be. Be determined to accomplish those goals you’ve set for yourself. Take the necessary actions it takes to make that vision of yourself become a reality.
Nothing will be able to stop you from winning at life if you are focused and have unwavering belief in yourself!
Put It All Together
As you begin to build a new habit of completing what you start, you may feel overwhelmed and lost about what to do next when you look at your list of goals. The best approach is to chunk down your goals into small, manageable steps.
Imagine that it’s the future and you’ve already accomplished your goal. Start at the end and look backward. Notice what you had to do to get to where you are.
Playing not to lose may protect you from the potential pain of negative feedback. But every time you fail to live up to the commitments you make to yourself and others, you lower your self-confidence.
If you follow the steps outlined in this article to identify why you’ve settled for simply not losing, you will be able to take the necessary action you need to complete everything you start.
And when you do that, winning at life will be guaranteed!
Donovan Barrett Jr is a self empowerment and internet marketing expert and he helps business opportunity seekers start successful online businesses. Click here to download his FREE e-Book: The Empowered Entrepreneur Guide to avoid making these crucial 10 mistakes most people make when starting a business online!
How to Get Sh*t Done will teach you how to zero in on the three areas of your life where you want to excel, and then it will show you how to off-load, outsource, or just stop giving a damn about the rest.