9 Self-Help Cliches We Need to Change For Your Own Good

Some need to change slightly while some need a complete overhaul.

Think about it: Too much of anything, even if it’s supposedly good for you isn’t good in the end. That’s why we need to do something about unbridled positivity today.

As a blogger myself, it isn’t just about twisting it to help the masses. It’s also about being able to stand out in your craft. Read on!

1) “Follow your dreams.”

The problem here is that it’s always so easy to talk about wanting to follow your dreams, but the work involved is a lot harder than expected.

Worse, the self-help industry has glorified the idea of dreaming. That is why people think they’re already on their way by setting up their vision boards, meditating or reading up on The Law of Attraction.

Say instead: Have a dream. Set up a plan. Create realistic milestones.

Then keep doing small, incremental things that’d lead you in that direction.

Noticed I said “direction” and not destination. It’s all about moving forward. Things WILL go wrong and things will change along the way. Your supposed dream may be something else altogether. Embrace that!

2) “Get out of your comfort zone.”

This is true, yet obvious. It’s a lot easier said than done. It’s kind of understandable to back out at the last moment because you don’t feel ready.

Say instead: When you’re feeling scared, anxious and downright comfortable, those are the right signs that you’ve to do something.

Hence, you need to erase the self-doubt that comes with the less-than-desirable feelings. You’ve to do it anyway because it’s correct.

3) “Quit your job.”

I’ve no idea how many rag-to-riches stories I’ve read on how some successful person quit their job or got fired and called it the best thing that ever happened to them.

Look, most of us don’t like our jobs, but we gotta do what we gotta do right?

Mindlessly quitting your job without a plan isn’t something you should do. You may feel liberated, but the lack of income can really take its toll on you especially if others are depending on you.

Say instead: Quit your job only when it makes sense.

That means having a plan or enough savings to tide you over for the short-term future.

Heck, I’d say even that you shouldn’t quit your job at all. Just learn to try to block out the negativitiy from the office.

4) “Punch your pillow” or “Scream into your pillow.”

I won’t go deep here, but anger management arguably doesn’t work. Google it. You’ll be surprised.

Say instead: Find the primary emotion underlying your anger.

Because anger is a secondary emotion. If you don’t find it, you’re only sweeping your problems under the rug.

Do what it takes to find that cause. Go for therapy. Read up on anger. Personally, I think reading up on psychology and the ego helps most.

5) “Get over your fears.”

Another easier said than done thing to do. It’s too scary! You can’t just tell somebody with issues to simply get over their fears and be done with it.

Say instead: Understand your fear first, feel afraid and do it anyway.

Fear is simply a system to keep you alert. It’s what keeping you from impulsively jumping off the building for no reason.

Like anger, find the root cause of your fear.

Then like getting out of your comfort zone, feel scared and do it anyway. That’s the right sign to really grow.

6) “You’re special.”

I honestly think this is a tired phrase used to make people feel better about themselves only.

Say instead: Make your life special by doing extraordinary things.

Face it. If you want to create a meaningful life, you’ve to get off your ass and do great things.

Saying you’re special or was born special and not doing anything is ultimately useless.

So do something already! Leave some footprints!

7) “Just be yourself.”

But what if you don’t like yourself? What if you don’t know who you really are?

Say instead: Be yourself… unless you suck.

That’s a rough quote by Josh Whedon actually.

Straight up, if you know there’re things about you you need to change or want to change, then make those changes already.

If you feel lost and lack purpose in life, I strongly suggest you start doing things, getting out there and create real memories for yourself.

8) “Find passion.”

And what’s usually followed is, “The rest will take care of itself” or “And you won’t work a day of your life.”

Wrong. Passion doesn’t solve all your problems or make life super awesome for you.

Say instead: Find passion and be prepared to do the work.

It’s important indeed to base your art or business around your passion. That’s a solid foundation that will take you a long way.

Nonetheless, you still need to do the work. That effectively means not feeling good and even doubting yourself from time to time.

It’s all about taking action.

9) “Money is not everything.”

I find it so amusing that the two groups of people who are always ready to spout this cliche are the same ones who are the least qualified to do so.

The first is people who are totally broke and are too lazy to work at all.

The second is people who have made it and are very successful, thus they mislead people (who do need money) into thinking, for example, that passion is enough and that one shouldn’t take up money-making opportunities or make sensible decisions.

Say instead: Money is important, but the bottom line is if you want to chase it.

I think this idea is simple.

Just do what you have to do to survive. Yet, remember to stop and smell the roses from time to time. Your happiness is entirely up to you, not money.

Special bonus for Pick The Brain Readers!

I hope you enjoyed the article! Want more ways to be mature?

Then you’re going to want my book. It’s free! Here it is:

12 Things Happy People Don’t Give a F**K About!

Time to shed the crap in life and start being happy! This free book is only available through this link to Alden Tan.

Alden Tan keeps it real at his blog and writes about motivation in unconventional ways. His two main passions are Bboying and writing. Check out his free report12 Things Happy People Don’t Give a F**k About!


Erin shows overscheduled, overwhelmed women how to do less so that they can achieve more. Traditional productivity books—written by men—barely touch the tangle of cultural pressures that women feel when facing down a to-do list. How to Get Sh*t Done will teach you how to zero in on the three areas of your life where you want to excel, and then it will show you how to off-load, outsource, or just stop giving a damn about the rest.

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