This article is a major piece, as I get out of my comfort zone, just to write it.
Yes. I visited a therapist once. It was for my anger issues.
I grew up feeling a lot of anger as I bottle up my emotions pretty much all the time.
To give a little context, my anger is mostly derived from allowing people and my wrongdoers to walk all over me. The anger within me then festers and eats me up inside as I keep wondering why these people get away with it. It almost feels like they win, while I lose out entirely.
Did the therapist help? You’ll see.
1) Therapy is not a feel-good movie
You know how in movies the main character who’s going through some issues visit the therapist once or a couple of times, goes through some flashback sequence, gains an epiphany and then transforms himself altogether?
Then he proceeds to solve all his problems and live a happy life.
Therapy is not like that.
Sorry, but life is not a feel-good movie. You can’t heal overnight or cure all your woes in one single moment.
Therapy is a long-term commitment between you and the therapist. There needs to be active communication and cooperation so as for you to improve.
This may sound daunting, but take it as a way of looking at life. All too often we think we can become better just by reading a blog article, get coaching or travel to some place for a moment of inspiration. We should instead be more real about it and tackle life with resilience.
2) Therapists have their own therapists too
My therapist actually told me that he had his own therapist.
Why? Because he’s also human and needs someone to communicate his problems to.
That said, therapists are not perfect, and that’s okay.
Don’t you see how you’re not alone? That everyone has their own issues and are working hard to become better?
If you ever feel alone, don’t. There’re many people out there who are in the same boat as you. You just don’t see it.
3) Some solutions will never work for you
My therapist told me firmly, “What you need to do is to stand up for yourself from now on at the heat of the moment. You’re angry because you feel you let them get away with it.
You’re not the kind who can get better through meditation, distracting yourself, or whatever. They will NOT work for you.”
The last sentence really got to me. I loved how he emphasized on it.
I think that today, with the amount of free information out there, we think that everything should work for us.
But that is actually not the case. Just because it worked for someone or that it sounds easy enough doesn’t mean that it will be suited for you. Not all problems can be cured with a simple list article you find in some blog.
So don’t be frustrated if something isn’t working out for you though it does for your friends or family. You simply need to find that unique solution for your unique life. Put in the effort to do so and consider paying for it. It’ll be worth it.
4) Therapy doesn’t have to be expensive
My was from a government clinic. It was heavily subsidized.
No, therapy doesn’t have to be expensive like how you see it in the movies.
Just seek it out already from where ever you are at. You may be surprised.
5) Sometimes it’s simply needing that support and reinforcement
Face it. We are all smart people. Many of us know what to do when it comes to our problems.
But only few do what they know.
I get it. It’s hard though. That’s why it could be merely needing that support and positive reinforcement.
A therapist can help with that. Heck, a good friend can help with that.
I believe we all know deep down what we need to do. It’s just that for whatever reason, we don’t dare to. Thus, we need that support, reassurance and validation.
Go get it. Everyone needs a helping hand from time to time.
6) There’s really no shame in seeing one
Is there really a stigma in seeing a therapist? I guess for a lot of people, there still is.
People would think that you’re problematic, overly emotional or even crazy.
But that’s their problem.
The people who see the need to focus on others’ problems are effectively wasting their time as they are not reflecting on their own to improve themselves.
So care not of what others think.
If you want to seek professional help. Just go for it. Many do.
7) It’s then all up to you to take action
As said, therapy is not a feel-good movie. It’s not the golden ticket to cure all your problems.
It’s entirely up to you to take action. You must motivate yourself to do something for yourself. I honestly actively stand up for myself more today and it works. The results will surprise you too. I always thought standing up for myself meant getting into an ugly argument with others, but nope. Many have even apologized to me.
You can make the choice today to become better. Therapy is merely support and guidance.
That goes to show how powerful you actually are.
So decide today.
You essentially don’t need others to tell you what to do. Get help, but then help yourself.
I am pretty sure you can do it.
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Alden Tan is a writer who strives to help others without giving out stupid advice. His blog is right here if you want in-your-face articles!
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