You failed to close the business deal after all the hard work?
Hit a rough patch in relationship and he/she left?
Your friendship ends even you’ve care and cherish him/her all the time?
Inevitably, life throws lemon at us and it makes everything so sour and heart-wrenching.
Here are 4 simple steps to take to deal with disappointments in life:
1) Cry, as hard as you want, as loud as you need. If you want to scream, go ahead. It’s okay, you don’t have to be strong, forget about looking at the bright side, be happy etc. There’s no room for positivity now. You need to express all the sadness, anger and frustrations first. Remove them all. Leave no trace. I cried for days as I didn’t do well in my Electone exam.
“There you go… let it all slide out. Unhappiness can’t stick in a person’s soul when it’s slick with tears.”
– Shannon Hale
2) Finish crying? Now your heart may be empty. Get some love – whether it’s a hug or a pat on the shoulder. No one around? Hug your pet, bolster or the tree. After all, you don’t need any advice for now, just some comfort, something you can lie on to. It makes you feel better.
“Detach from needing to have things work out a certain way. The universe is perfect and there are no failures. Give yourself the gift of detaching from your worries and trust that everything is happening perfectly.”
3) Take a walk. Look at the nature. If you can, go travel. Give yourself some time to breathe, relax and calm down. Let other things settle down naturally. They will. Your job is to not to blame or judge. Instead, be kind to yourself – to heal.
“The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quite alone with the heavens, nature and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be and that God wishes to see people happy, amidst the simple beauty of nature. As longs as this exists, and it certainly always will, I know that then there will always be comfort for every sorrow, whatever the circumstances may be. And I firmly believe that nature brings solace in all troubles.”
– Anne Frank
4) Feeling better? It’s time to clear things up. Write down your feelings. You can make a mind map too. The purpose is to have a fresh view on the big picture. Find out:
- What made you feel frustrated?
- What did you expect?
- Why it didn’t work out?
- Is it as bad as you think?
- Is there anything you can do to fix it?
- What are all the steps (details) that you need to take?
If you found out it’s uncontrollable, you will need to let it go, and take it as it is. Believe that you had tried your best. If you didn’t, promise yourself to be alert and take a better approach next time. Here’s Tryon Edwards’s suggestion: “Right actions in the future are the best apologies for bad actions in the past.”
You see, sometimes life just doesn’t grant our wishes and turn out the way we liked. The best enlightenment will be from Marilyn Monroe:
“I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they’re right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.”
It’s alright. Stand up, dust yourself off, embrace new days with hope!
So, how do you pick yourself up from disappointments? Let us know in the comments.