What Do You REALLY Want?

In these days is so hard to find what you really want, because there are to many things, and most people don’t know what they want.

Very true, and one of my personal problems. I think the hardest part is committing to something when there are so many equally attractive alternatives.

[...] Original post by John Wesley [...]

[...] John Wesley presents You Aren’t Getting Anywhere Because You Don’t Know What You Want posted at Pick the Brain. Share and Enjoy: These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and discover new web pages. [...]

[...] John Wesley presents: You Aren’t Getting Anywhere Because You Don’t Know What You Want Posted on Pick the Brain http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog [...]

In the last seven years, I’ve moved from assembling computers, to working with teens, to running a back office insurance team and now I’m a regional manager for business continuity.

Even today I don’t know what I want. There are too many goals/things/ideals I want. But rather than choosing only one thing, I prefer to pick and choose the bits I do like. I don’t follow a path. I create one.

Personally I take Steve Jobs advice on this one (from his commencement address at Stanford):

You’ve got to find what you love…Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it.

Keep looking. Don’t settle. You’ll know when you find it. These are what I hold.

In my opinion, life is not a competition. It’s more important to be what we love than worrying about competition.

[...] John Wesley says the reason why you are not getting anywhere is because you don’t know what you want. [...]

[...] When I coach a man with Disquiet, one of the biggest chunks of work is getting clarity on what he wants. I don’t mean general goals or just a desire for a more satisfying life. What I mean are specific goals. This can be really hard for someone to identify for themselves without some outside help. John Welsey from Pick The Brain makes a great point about this. He writes: Most of us don’t know what we want. We think we do, but we really don’t. We only know what we don’t want. We don’t want a boring job. We don’t want to be poor. We don’t want to disappoint our loved ones. [...]

Carnival of a Modern Sage…

Welcome to the March 16, 2007 edition of the Carnival of a Modern Sage! Here you will find great posts from a variety of blogs, on topics such as Healthy Meals, Living Well, Natural Health, Inspiration, Laughter and more! Please Enjoy! 
karen along…

[...] John Wesley presents You Aren’t Getting Anywhere Because You Don’t Know What You Want posted at Pick the Brain. [...]

[...] Alvaro Fernandez presents Stress Management Workshop for International Women’s Day Matthew Paulson presents How to Get a Decent Job After College Zechary presents Think It Over; ZecHaryW.com Ted Reimers presents How to get into an Ivy League school Debra Moorhead presents Great Expectations? Alexandra Levit presents The Grass Is Always Greener? John Wesley presents You Aren’t Getting Anywhere Because You Don’t Know What You Want Christopher J. Brunner presents The Adverse Effects of Poor Communication [...]

[...] These quotes are taken directly from an article I found written by John Wesley titled “You Aren’t Getting Anywhere Because You Don’t Know What You Want“. We can certainly apply the same logic to our goal of weight loss. [...]

Hi John, thanks for the inspiration!

My pleasure JoLynn, it’s people like you who inspire me!

John,

What a great post…so true, in today’s world the options are limitless…and the opportunities are so varied and grand. Would be great to see a article (maybe you wrote one already) on how to choose an opportunity and how long you should commit to it. I just started Business Advice Daily, but from the beginning I have a three year commitment to make sure it works. I really enjoy the blog and the associated marketing. It has been really fun to see the blog grow and the audience increase. And like you said set solid goals…thanks for the inspiration for more persperation.

Dave
http://www.BusinessAdviceDaily.com/

Dave,

Making a three year commitment is definitely a good move. You don’t want to give yourself opportunities to back out. When I started this site, I knew it would be a couple years before it really gets established. This really helped during the beginning.

I haven’t written an article dedicated to choosing an opportunity, partly because I’m still not sure where my own life is going.

Living your life is entirely personal, some people might switch back and forth between goals their wholes lives, but if this works best for them, who can say otherwise?

I think that in today’s society, we often don’t take the time to find out what we love. We seem to expect things to come easily and often when they don’t we change course. Much like changing the channel on the TV. IT seemed like there was more on TV when I only had three channels, because at some point I became invested in some of the shows. Now I can barely make it through a commercial without seeing what else is on.

[...] As a consequence of implementing GTD this year–and largely sorting out my inbox–I’ve been reflecting quite a lot on some of my mid-to-long term goals. And this post inspired me to commit some of my thoughts here. [...]

[...] John Welsey from Pick The Brain makes a great point about this. He writes: Most of us don’t know what we want. We think we do, but we really don’t. We only know what we don’t want. We don’t want a boring job. We don’t want to be poor. We don’t want to disappoint our loved ones. [...]

carnival of wealth building ideas – April 10, 2007…

Welcome to the April 10, 2007 edition of carnival of wealth building ideas.
John Wesley presents You Aren’t Getting Anywhere Because You Don’t Know What You Want posted at Pick the Brain.
almomento presents How to Change Your Money Fate posted a…

where do you go when you dont fit in society or reality,you can hide from one but not both.what if all you can be in life is what life lets you be?what if all life would let you be is nothing like me?

@john doe:

I would highly recommend beginning with loving yourself just as you are. Although I think that there are probably others who are like you and you think you are alone, everything comes back to how you feel about you.

Until you fully love yourself as you are today, how you perceive you “fit” in society doesn’t matter. I, myself, have often felt like an oddity, but what does it matter? I know that many people feel the same way that I do, they just don’t always talk about it.

I’d recommend Louise Hay’s book “Love Yourself, Heal Your Life”. Whether male or female, love is where it’s all at, and you begin with loving you. Follow her exercises and see where you get.

I wish you all the best with this; it will get better if you take the action to work on loving yourself. It is your life and your reality (in your thoughts) that you are living in. As long as you’re not committing crimes against humanity, it’s fine that you are different, in fact it will make you much more interesting.

JoLynn

Your comments are perhaps relevant to people with definite skills and abilities to pursue a path. But they aren’t relevant to my son, who has an good knowledge in some areas which seem to have no practical application. I was really looking for help, but didn’t find any. However, I wish you the best.

John:

This article is very inspirational, and for the most part – true, or rather applicable, and equally interesting are the comments you have received!

Brain:
You can apply comments in any way you personally interpret them to be. That’s why so many different kinds of people are touched by music, whether it is: rock, classical, or jazz, people are still touched by it. Why? Because ‘some’ unknown mechanism inside of ourselves (presumably) is triggering a relationship between the comment (or the song in my example) and conducting a response that is appropriate in their state of thought.

What precisely does your son have knowledge of, that you think is not applicable? You see, application of skill is highly relevant to one’s environment. For example, a very skilled car thief, will get into lots of trouble with the law when exercising his skills, however, is a token 17th century like economy, his/her skills might be highly appreciated.

One more thing…

JoLynn, your comment was very well put!

JohnDoe:
Everyone to some extent thinks they do not fit into society, because they don’t. Do you think there is a ‘norm,’ in our dynamic universe? Of course not, there is only the illusion of the norm, which is prescribed by our society on a regular basis that we believe the illusion of a norm. However no such thing ‘exists,’ (except for in our ideal imaginations) because evidently all life is governed by diversity and (seemingly) sporadic motions. In addition, you should not compare yourself with the lives of others; you are not them, and they are not you, you are you, and whatever that may mean is a conjecture for your fanciful imagination. Perhaps your choice is to do nothing, not even get up from your bed, so be it, that is your choice, but make sure you chose what you want to become, and don’t let the ever-changing tides of society conduct ‘who’ you will be (although to an extent, even control is uncontrollable).

[...] John Welsey from Pick The Brain makes a great point about this. He writes: [...]

I understand what these guys mean when they say they don’t know where they fit in. This is a big issue in my life right now. I am 24 years old and have pretty much not accomplished anything since I graduated high school. I have jumped from low paying job to low paying job, and taken a few classes in college/universitys. I never get anywhere though. I don’t know what I want to be, and I have no passion for anything other than my loved ones. I feel that as a child I was spread to thin, tried too many things and never stuck to any of them. I played a lot of video games but that hasn’t done anything for me. I always thought I grow up to be a game designer, but have come to realize I know nothing about it and enjoy it even less. I just wanted to come up with the ideas.
I have discovered that I am good at alot of things, but great at nothing. I don;t even know how to define me. The hardest thing to me is feeling out the “about you” section of something like Facebook. I have always strived to make it that the people I am around like me. And I realize now I’ve developed few intrest/talents/opinions that define the person I am. I now feel like an empty shell floating through life, waiting for someting to happen. And when that is the case it is hard to motivate yourself to do anything other than get by, and I am barely pulling that off. I could go on all day, but I’ll see what you think of what I’ve said thus far.
-Ryan

Ryan,

To me it seems like you are waiting for your passion to come up and grab you. I used to think the same way, and it doesn’t work. Instead of waiting, I recommend actively looking for what you want to do.

Try to new things, experiment, take some chances. You’ll never find what you are really good at unless you get out there and look for it.

I’m definitly trying, but as much as everything cost these days, Its pretty tough to get out their any explore, when your struggling to pay your bills.

Ryan

In my opinion, the only thing worse than not knowing where you want to go – is going somewhere only to find out that you don’t REALLY want to be there! Life is too short to spend time on something unless you are SURE that it will leave you happy in the end.

My test for deciding what you really want?

If something is causing you some degree of stress, frustration, anger, anxiety – or ANY other negative emotion, simply ask yourself: “Is this worth it? If I knew that I only had six months left to live, would I want to spend my time and energy on this?”

[...] Work, future, indecision, meaning of life, motivation Here’s a nice post from the fine blog Pick The Brain on a problem that has been nagging me ever since I dropped out of grad school:  What the hell do I [...]

We can gain a better understanding of what we want by opening the gift of childhood.

Finding out what you really want truly is so important, one of the most important things in the world. Sadly most of us live according to what others want – our parents, society, TV. Sucks, but even now I still feel some old conditioning working on me.

Cheers,
Albert | UrbanMonk.Net
Modern personal development, entwined with ancient spirituality.

[...] picking the most expensive school might not be useful if the education is rated the same. Know why you want to go to school or the money will be [...]

Hi John,

I appreciate your slew of wisdom. I found your blog a few days ago. — about your post: When I first started attending college, I knew that it wasn’t for me, or at least felt that way. I decided to leave and get a job working in film (which is what I wanted to do). I did that for about 4 years and reached some success. But then, about a year ago, I decided I wanted to finish my education. I’ve been attending school ever since, at a community college here in Los Angeles, and it’s fantastic. For about $20 a unit I’m taking great classes, and learning great stuff. I also bought a few books on tape, which I can highly recommend: (check out http://www.theteachingcompany.com)

Here’s my question for you and for other readers: I’m applying to schools now to transfer. I’m considered a non-traditional student, because I didn’t follow the “normal” path. I’m about to be 24 and applying to finish my undergrad degree. Some schools seem to frown upon this. Whatever. I’m wondering, in your opinion, does the institution matter? Maybe, not so much the institution, but the professors the institution is able to garner? Or the other students? Or the resources?

Am I better transferring to some place like UC Santa Barbara this fall, or waiting another year and applying to some of the “couture brand” institutions?

For Patrick:

I disagree with you that “the only thing worse than not knowing where you want to go – is going somewhere only to find out that you don’t REALLY want to be there!” Life is an experiment and you have to be ready to try stuff and see how it works out. Sure, life is short, that’s why if you don’t like something then you have to be prepared to move on. But if you DON’T do something based on it being stressful or frustrating then your actually ending up worse: there was some post, I think it was on this site, about the different learning curves between a drop-out, an amateur and an expert…the drop-out does what he does because of frustration, the amateur makes it to where he is with time, the expert makes it to where he is through time, focus and passion to make it where he’s gotta.

I worked for some time in film, because I thought that it’s what I wanted to ultimately do, but after some time, I realized that it wasn’t, that there’s more in life than just that, and I moved on. And it’s totally ok.

[...] ist es besser, sich zu fokussieren und zu fragen: “What Do You REALLY Want?”. Diese Frage stellt PickTheBrain.com. Wenn man nur weiss, was man nicht will, wird man dadurch [...]

[...] when you are sick with the flu or cold. Only use eucalyptus for the time need to clear you cold. Long-term use of this oil has an effect on the [...]

This is a very good question and you’ve outlined some very good things. I really like the emphasis on being focused and narrowing down to specific goals. Finding what you want really takes some soul searching and the knowledge that what you really want will always take effort through the good times and bad.

[...] I found this 2 articles. Finding The Path to Meaningful Existence What do You REALLY Want? [...]

hey there, thanks

[...] they go to bed.  Depending on how serious their condition is, the person might worry more about problems pertaining to themselves, or about worldly issues that are affecting other people.  Either way, [...]

My problem is that I have worked so hard for years and have accomplished everything I wanted. I have an amazing well paid job and live in another country in a great house driving a great car but now I don’t know what to do with myself.

Where do I go from here?

I have some hobbies I could take up but they don’t seem to interest me as much as they did.

The one area that hasn’t turned out like I wanted is my love life.

Just spend some time getting to know the rest of yourself first and developing friendly relationships. I believe that many of the things we should be doing now were in our desires from childhood. Revisit those years to remember the things you thought about and said you would do.

you would be a fantastic psychologist. i mean that in a good way. that empty shell you speak of is a perfect way to be (when youre a psychologist) because it means you are more objective and open minded toward what you study. if you dont have a strong sense of self, that means you are in a great postion to help others. that is the good side of the equation. the other not so ideal side, is that you can help others more when you have a strong sense of self. but you are young, and are empty and eager to fill that emptiness. that journey could be a process in the making of a fantastic psychologist. and you never stop being a student of the mind. our weaknesses end up to be our strengths eventually.. so therefore, youre emptiness will eventually be your strength. start taking classes in psychology and good luck.

This is my senior year, and college is right down the block. Most of my senior friends, already have an idea, or have already started studying subjects based on their careers. And whenever they ask me what my plans for the future are, i say, I’m going to study medicine. It’s a fair enough answer for them, but not for me. As you know medicine has thousands of fields, and i haven’t decided what i really want. I just hope to find it out soon, before i run out of time.

i’m 21yrs old,am an undegradute, am in my final yr in high institution. i want you to help me, am finding things very difficult around me. please help me in this generation i find my self, i will like to contribute, i will like to do and be something good. i want to be independent, someone is there to sponsore me.i need help pls.

i’m 21yrs old,am a student,am in my final year. i want to be independent, and there is some one there to sponsore me, pls help me i have prayed to my heavenly father, i want to know why am here, because i dont have any goal ahead of me, i need help because this generation i find my self, i will like to contribute something good.pls help me.

John, I happened upon this article from a Google search, and apparently, I’m a year late. I hope you’re still around and have some avenue for knowing when there are new posts.

I am Pete. Pete and I may have different back stories or choose different avenues for making all this money, but the person you described is exactly me. Here’s the important question to which I do not see the answer:

Okay, let’s say Pete pushes past the realities and the limitations. Let’s say he forces those out of his mind. Let’s say he looks exclusively at his own talents and interests and compares those to how they match up with each high paying profession on his list. Let’s say he makes the list of what he needs to do. Okay, he’s done it. Great. Now what the heck is Pete supposed to do? He has a family. He’s supporting four people on 50K per year. He DOESN’T have money to go back to school. He can’t get a master’s or JD or whatever he decides upon because his Bachelor’s degree was never finished. He has no money for school and he can’t get financial aid because he exhausted all available funds when he went to college the first time. There really isn’t any money for school, so which is the reason he fails? Is it because he doesn’t focus because he doesn’t want to want something only to find that he has no means of achieving it?

Tell Pete and me how to overcome completely limiting physical realities and I’m sure we’ll both be raring to go.

John Wesley. i’m joe from malaysia. this few days i met many problem. my english not that good enough but i hope u do understand what i wrote. do you have e-mail add ? so that i can write to you and get your advise. i got a lot to ask you. hope that you are able to help me.

Sometimes we think we want something, but when we get closer we change out mind and decide that we hate it.
We really need to be certain what we want and not just guess or hope. You have good ideas in your post why some people fail…

well,I have to say thank you.In fact,I keep thinking about it for a long time,what do i really live for?I made my mind that I have to be clear that what i really want in a short time cause I don’t want to waste my life any more.

well,I have to say thank you.In fact,I keep thinking about it for a long time,what do i really live for?I made my mind that I have to be clear that what i really want in a short time cause I don’t want to waste my life any more.

Very insightful. Life is a journey; embrace it as such. Tony Robbins recently introduced me to a wonderful software that helps program your mind for success and achieve anything it wants. I believe it complements the message of this article – put your goals and key messages in front of you for maximum impact.
Ohhh, here’s the link: http://www.tradexmindnow.com
JorgeN

man!!! you are a rockstar.. cant believe there r so many like me.. i am 25 n fully confused what i want 2 do..m havin cyclical thoughts on tht.. got this link searching for i really want you lyrics at 1 35 in the night..strange conincidence..it seems like the story is on me.. but this confirms my thoughts are correct.. thanks

I’m a 23 yr old in my first year in the university and having alot of problems with who I really am in the society.I don’t really know what I want 2 do most notably because I have been in the same class 3 times now and in 2 different schools.My main aim is 2 get into school and graduate with a top class grade but when ever I’m in school,I realise I’m very different than other students and find it difficult 2 mix up and get information from other students as a result really feel moody all the time.I’ve read alot of motivational pages but have not been able decide who I really am.I really want 2 know who I am and what I want Irrespective of what other people think.I succeded in disappointing my loved ones on more than one occassion.getting into school has never been my problem but it has always been the issue of having enough drive to pursue it to the letter that has always been my problem and therefore end up making mistakes that cost me dearly.I hasn’t only been with my accademics that I have this problem but my social life as well.I think the basic thing is just to love myself as I am but that has not really worked for me because I end up feeling down most of the time.Pls I really need advise.

I like this…but there’s more. If anyone is interesting, check out my blog post below. Don’t worry, it’s not spam, BS, or anything of that nature. lol Feel free to add me or send me a message.

http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.viewcustom&friendId=153210805&blogId=523458896&swapped=true

Its not that easy, sometimes you have to program!!!

I stumbled upon this page and feel lucky, now. Wonderful information!

This article still stands true today. It is crucial to focus our intentions upon a clear path. The clearer the better. The challenge is choosing that path amongst the myriad of choices available.

As an artist, I get weighed down with so many ways to go, this article is a terrific reminder. Thank you.

Worth sharing this information. Good Work

Thanks for the information. This is a wonderful post!!

THIS JUST BRINGS MY HOPES DOWN I FEEL SO USELESS AND I KNOW WHAT I WANT BUT I CANT DO IT IF IM STUCK IN SCHOOL HERE!!!

(MIDDLE SCHOOL)

I KNOW WHAT I WANT BUT ALMOST EVERY GIRL AT MY AGE WANTS IT TOO AND ITS SO IMPOSSIBLE I MEAN I OVERHEARD MY DADS FRIEND SAYING I REALLY GOT THE TALENT FOR IT AND THAT I NEED TO GET INTO A SCHOOL FOR IT BUT THE ONLY SCHOOL FOR IT IS OVER A MILLION MILES AWAY I JUST WISH I COULD DO WHAT I WANT TO DO WITH MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ALL THIS DOES IS BRING EVERYONES HOPES DOWN IN A SMARTY TALK LANGUAGE SO WE COULD BELIVE IT! DO U WANT US TO FAIL IN LIFE OR WHAT!!!

then again i didn’t read the whole thing because i dont really feel like reading rite now. yaya i no im spelling rong o well its not like im in school or any thing.

things at school keep making me feel im usless but my conshens keeps telling me its b cuz i havent shown my talent yet.

btw what i want to be is like a pianoist/singer i mean my dads friend or something told him i was good at playing the piano and no one even taught me anything i mean could i at least get one lesson! Plus im in choir and im singing with the city choir on sunday and my choir teacher and my parents tell me im a good singer but i cant do anything about it!

I belive that once you find a talent you should use it and use it for good. Thats exactly what im TRYING to go for but i have no idea on how to go for it. PEOPLE ALWAYS TELL KIDS TO CHASE THEIR DREAMS BUT HOW COULD THEY CHASE THEM IF THEIR STUCK IN SCHOOL?!? Its impossible for kids to follow their dreams with their school limits and other limits. I think the sky should be the limit and the sky is pretty high on planet Earth. I just want a way thats possible to follow my dreams and finnaly catch them.

Ryan, After reading your personal story,I thought I was reading about myself. I’m 51 and have spent my adult life going thorough what you’ve been experiencing. I had a career in the travel industry for 22 yrs. Until I just couldn’t do it any more. Looking back I was so very passionate about my job until management and the general public broke me and left a bad taste in my mouth for what I once loved and was proud of. Now I ask myself this same question…What now. All I want to do is sleep in! Bless you.

wow, its kind of a relief to know that there are people feeling just like me. I’m 22 recently graduated, came back from traveling. Now wondering what I should do with my life. Quite confused about the whole issue. But I think whilst surfing the net I have discovered a tad of light. And ironically just before graduating one of my lecturer’s showed us the Steve Job video that Donald Latumahina mentioned above. which has reminded me a bit about our purpose in life. Pursue what is right for you, not what others think. At the end of the day you live with the consequences of your own actions. so live without regrets, follow your heart. Even at times when you feel alone and the road is tough. Believe in yourself, believe in God! Have faith and hope all!!!!! ^_^

i really dont know what do i want.but still have a little hope!

Hi Austin
Im 23 and in my first year of university and not really enjoying it but dont know what else id do. Im just wondering how u have gotten along since your post? have u found out what you want to do in life? Hope all is well – cheers

Hey Ryan,
Im in the same situation as u mate, 23 at my first year of uni as a physiotherpist, but not enjoying it and realised that physiotherapy industry is going down hill. but i dont know what else id do as i dont really have any strengths or money making skills…how have you gotten along since your post? have u found what you want to do in life? im interestd in ur progress as it could help me decide what i want to do – cheers, Julian

well this is my story…im indian and as an indian, parents usually force you to becoming a doctor, engineer or anything with a high salary that brings a lot of respect. i’m currently in dental school in india, since it was the faster way to becoming a dentist. I have had a little interest in high school and took some pre med courses at the university i attended for 1 year, just in case. I didnt like the courses i was taking so i decided to switch over to business. well I wasn’t too excited when my dad brought up the idea of coming here and my dad, being a psychiatrist, tells me ”its up to you..i’m not forcing you.” I knew deep down he wanted me to come here because he want whats best for me..i mean whose parents don’t want the best for their child? they have supported me financially my whole life and alot of people dont have that type of support. so he buys me and my mom first class tickets, just to motivate me more. we go to the city where the dental college is to observe and look at it. i know deep down they wanted me to go here. i wanted to say no because the campus, environment, students, everything was sooo much different then where i was currently going at the time. im in my third year here and im losing interest more and more every year..im starting to have trouble here and i just feel like i need to start fresh back at home…maybe at some community college. i feel like life is about doing what you as a person need to do, not what society, and even family tells you to do..but in my situation being indian and all, its hard to step up to them. i recently told them i don’t like it here, and they just get angry. i’m so confused and lost.

well it’s interesting topic, and I’m from Sudan (in middle east – north Africa) well i know what i want to do, but i don’t know how to do it, and yes it’s so complicated when you feel that your in love in some things that you want to do but u don’t know how to do, by the time past you will feel that the passion that you have and the energy that you have it gradually fade, till you feel empty and defeated person without hope and dreams. some time dream hurt you when you want to do some thing that you can’t do it or you can achieve it. as in my situation i want to be a graphics designer, and what dream that i have but by the time past without finding some one to support me from my family or from any where, i start to look back from it, because it’s so hard on me to stand up alone, and you must have some one to lean on it. till no i look back and trying to re-back it (my dream) but nothing it’s still just like i left it a big gap between me and between my dream blocking me to achieve or to walk behind my dream, but im still waiting and im fighting to do what i love to do. And im sorry if my language not understandable.

I am 40 years old and still wondering what I should do. Part of my problem is that I was probably too intelligent for my own good (sorry, I’m not bragging). I never had to work hard to be top of the class, and I never gave any time thinking about what I wanted to do with my life because it was assumed that I would be a doctor or similar. And so I studied Medicine. I did enjoy science and biology so I went with the flow and eventually became a doctor. After a few years, I realised this wasn’t for me. I took some time off, got interested in computers and games, and decided that I would become a game designer. I went back to university to study computer science and then graduated, but couldn’t find a job in the gaming industry, so then got a job with a standard IT company that had some clinical software too. And guess what, this is not what I want to do, but with a wife and a huge mortgage, I’m stuck. Worse still, even if I could go back to school or get a lower paying job, I don’t know what I would do.

However, part of me is coming to understand that I can never be happy doing the same thing for any length of time. I get bored so easily. Once I know enough about that field, it bores me silly. I have had different dreams, but to achieve a dream takes time, and during that time I, myself have changed and no longer have that dream. So I’m incapable of being happy. The only way I can see myself being happy is by winning the lottery so that I can indulge myself by doing something for a year or two, then going back to university, then doing something else for another year or two. Because without having stacks of money, chopping and changing career every couple of years is surely the way to poverty.

And I can see myself when I’m 70, and finally retired, looking back on my life and thinking “What a waste. All that time, and suffering, and now nothing to look forward to.” But what’s the alternative? Quite possibly if I indulge myself I’ll end up at 70 looking back at my life, but rather than being seated in a comfortable chair in front of the TV, I’ll be wrapping myself in newspapers on the street.

this is the best article i have ever read! simple yet inspiring..coool!

Hello Aspirin.
I have to tell you that I, too, am in a similar situation, married, kids, and a mortgage. Being 46 now I have also reached that point where I ask myself “what have I done with my life to date?” When I look back on it and what I have done, I have to at least acknolwedge that I have made it this far, have a marriage and children. Yet, I still yearn for more. I yearn for the satisfaction that comes from being passionate about work, truly loving what I do with my mind and my hands so that setbacks encourage me to do better, improve, etc…However, I am in an occupation (sales) where my heart finds little joy in the daily grind. I feel lifeless. I hate Mondays and Sunday evenings…anticipating Mondays, etc. There was a time when that was not so, when I had dreams and pursued those dreams without concern for financial gain. those were happy times, yet, they, too, had their moments of anxiety as it was more difficult to pay the bills.

My true desire now is to write. A fantasy perhaps? However, I have spent a good deal of time on this type of pursuit yet the lack of earnings in the area of authoring books (unless you are famous) is quite modest.

Do you want to know what you love to do? I would suggest looking at your bookshelf and observing the pattern of books that reside there. This will tell you quite a lot about what your mind and heart search for.

Take a look at that bookshelf and see what you think. then, report back here and let us know what you find!

Good luck…to you …and me…

You will have times in your life when you will feel like you’re the most unattractive person to walk the Earth. You will need somebody to pull you aside and say – you will not reach higher with your hands in your pockets. You can set many records, if you do guarantee yourself that you will do what you promise yourself, and listen to your dreams, to self improve faster

Aspirin,

I thought it was me when i read your post and you have written with true feeling and blunt honesty. In fact, while walking on the terrace for about 40 minutes, i was asking the same question “What do I really want?”. I had some vague responses that were more logical than emotional and hence the credibility factor is quite low.

Matter,

I took your advice and looked at my bookshelf. It has lots of biographies of corporate and achievers from different fields. Then there are books on self-improvement but mostly the former category. I am keen to know what you make out of that piece of information!

Cheers

Badri

hi,iam yasmine,iam from egypt , iam 21 years old am from egypt,i don,t know exactly what i could do, or what i should do,i just finished my universety study 3 months ago,my studty was about supply chain it has arelation with managment ,commerce and part of my study was about maritim transport, which is my fathers jop, i choose this universty to be able to help my dad in his work,but unfourtainly the study wasnt focused on the maritim , so there are alot of things that i dont know about that field,iam my fathers only daughter, i feel that my dad is alone he begain to be older one year after the other and i think he is tired he was waiting for me to help him, but now i will marry after one month as we in the arab countries most of the girls get marry early,……….. all my wishes to find the way to work with my dad and to improve the work to make it expand all over the world,to make our agency multi national, and to gain more money and to make sucess, and to make my father proud of me,… but i dont know how could i do that ,from where i should start, dad refused to help me this time, i think he couldn’t stand for me much more, and although my fiance didnt want me to work…….

hi

What you really want? I have the answer.
I don’t want anybody to kill himself/herself but don’t take it seriously (just read)
when you get to live enough, you realize that the life has no meaning. It is literally empty. In addition, you are alone in this universe. You may have wife, children, relatives etc. but you are still by yourself. When people realize this they do different things; some try to fill this emptiness with drugs or alcohol; some dedicate themselves to helping other people; some set up charity and some of them go crazy and start killing other people.
Actually, the question of “what do I want” should be put into correct context. The real question is “My conscious realizes that I will die one day. What is the best way to use my scarce time in this world and leave my mark in this world so that people can remember me and I can satisfy my big ego”
That’s all I got to say about this.

Marc,
‘touché’, and thanks, that’s a ‘dark’ish’ way to approach the issue,and probably the most realistic and honest. witty too, if you see the positive side of it, really liked it!, Obrigada! elisa*

Wow. That was deep. I am 23 and feel in a huge rut. I know the things I would like to do but it comes down to surviving. I feel like that always comes first and doing the things in order to survive are not the things I want to do. I hope that makes some sense. The main thing that is important to me is money. I cannot live without a job, therefore Ive gone from job to job. I was going to school but after my dad losing his job I could not afford my books. I pay rent, therefore it comes down to just focusing on my rent and being able to eat. I want more and don’t want to live on the edge anymore but at the same time I don’t really believe in the path of going to college and having success. It just seems like a scam. It seems to me either way ,you are a slave to the system. I really don’t want to have to owe some years of my life to loans. Here I am now, sick of working for people. Im so tired of working these odd jobs and dealing with shitty managers and supervisors. My tolerance for this has gone down very low and Ive quit 2 jobs within 6 months. I thought working and saving up would be a plan so I could do the things I want to do. But being that my tolerance has gone extremely low and I can barely find a job that will give me the hours I need ,it all just seems to be leading me nowhere. I don’t want to work for people anymore. So that leads me to going to school and learning something I can start my own business with. However I can’t figure out what that would be. Not only that but in my mind, Im stuck on this, nothing is guaranteed thing. But thats even worse becauce it would be like not trying at all. I really don’t think I was made for this and I just don’t understand the point of this whole thing. It just seems like I have to live and do what the majority is doing and whatever happens… happens.

Reading this article is afwully close to things i think about, eventhough i am only 20

I went trough high school in the netherlands with al lot of ease and a ton of friends. Due to my and my friends ability to learn fast we had tons of spare time, which we spent reading al kinds of books, playing video games, watching tv and hanging out with friends, making music, partying hard. Enyoying ourselves. Overall, good times.

Passed my exams not knowing wat i really wanna do in life because i am interested in so many proffessions and science fields , i am very much spread out to thin. I chose to study archictecture eventhough the vast majority of classes i took were exact sciences. In the first week of studying architecture i realized it was not for me, al the desinging stuff . I gave it some thought and realized i only chose for studying architecture only because the whole atmosfere the students created was fantastic to me, and because i did not want to do calculus, because i am very bad at math. Kind of scared myself away from that. I realized i never thougt about what i wanted to do

So i transferred that same year to another university, which did not work out either. I really had some intensly dark moments that year, as life as i knew it fell to pieces, seeing my best friend studying medicine having a great time, whilst i was failing classes the rest of the year long due to demotivation. I did manage to actually pass some classes in chemistry, because they were group projects so i had some fun interacting with people and chemistry interests me. The next year, this year i chose to study chemistry to someday be a chemistry teacher.

However, i struggle to motivate myself. I pass my classes barely awhilst working hard for them, meanwile a close friend of mine is studying biology doing very little and having the timeof his life. I just somehow can’t make myself feel happy, i truly miss the happyness and social life of high scool, which just is not present nowadays. I really tried having fun with fellow chemistry students, and some of them are cool people, i just feel like shit for not enjoying my life .

I am now 20 years old, i wasted a year of mylife already,and i am now in the first year of universty studing chemistry being not happy. Meanwhile my friends are good second year students enyoying what they do, and i have to deal with personal problems .

My dad says i have to try and make the best of things studying chemistry, but i spend a lot time contemplating about my life and what i want to do with it. I just want to enjoy mylife, and not feeling like i do now. I feel like i am having a midlife crisis,but i am only 20.

Thank you for the article. I am a 36 year old woman who still don’t know what to do or what I want. It is so frustrating. I realize that I worked in the same field for 15 year. Different companies but the same stuff. I am good at it now and confident with what I’m doing but it’s not what I want to do. Everytime I get fired or quit, I say “Yeehh” now I can do something I really want to do. But the thing is, I never have enough time or money to figure it out, so I go back to the same old. I am in the same old now, and think about what I would want to do instead. Where would I make more money, and what would fullfill me more?? I pray and I pray, and when I think I got the answer it will only last for a few days, and then the idea seems stupid. Hmm… I believe that you can have whatever you want, if you sincerely want it. I wish I knew what it was so I could feel that sincerity that produces the drive.

wow realizing that I’m not the only one feeling this way on Earth gives me energy and courage. thanks a lot for sharing people…

I am 49 and will turn 50 in a couple months. I have been a self-employed businessman the past 10 years following my divorce from a 20 year marriage. Back then I devoted myself mostly to the ministry and working other jobs. Now my children are all grown and on their own; some married with children of their own. I have spent the past few years taking care of two different grandmothers who have passed away and left me with a couple of houses and a little money. I suppose my greatest pleasure these days is with my 3 young grandchildren. However, I have reached a decision point and that is: “What do I want to do?” (Which is how I arrived at this site.) I have neglected my business to take care of my family, which has paid off with the inheritance, because I am virtually debt free with two houses, 3 cars, an no payments. But I have devoted myself to helping others and have even started helping couples mediate conflict at a mediation center which is a non-profit organization and pays very little. The dilemma is, should I commit myself to becoming the Director of a program that I know will never financially pay off and continue to allow myself to be “used” and taken advantage of and not get paid what I know I am worth? Or, as the article says, sit back and watch competitors sprint ahead in a business where I know I can be very competitive. The first will continue to drain my assets but could be very rewarding and fulfilling, yet the other would require getting back into the daily, weekly, rut of dealing with business and trying to get ahead. I wish I had enough money to just retire at 50 but I am not there yet. Plus, I am at the highest earning potential of my life and really need to make the most of it. It’s just that there is nothing that I absolutely have to get up and do each day if I don’t want to, and I kinda like that. So……as far as what Marc says about realizing death and satisfying a big ego…..I am clearly aware of all that, but let’s not forget how much our society focuses on retirement and the desire to just be lazy. It’s a real motivation killer. Plus there are the kids and grand kids to fulfill that since of accomplishment and satisfy that big ego. Maybe I’m just lonely and Yasmine is more on the right path than she thinks. Fathers have a way of getting their ego stroked and being very proud of their children when grandchildren come along. Success isn’t always about money; the only way I got through my divorce was staying close to my children and waiting for those grand kids to come along and I am so very proud of them. But the question now is, What do I do with MY life? Someone once said, “Choose a job you love and you’ll never have to work a day in your life.”

However, Affen: Chemical Engineer is one of the highest paying jobs you can get with just a 4 year degree. I researched if for one of my kids, $60k a year starting salary!?

Hello
There are some great comments on this site. I think that the more you worry about the ‘big question’ the more you move away from finding the answer. I would suggest you stop beating yourself up and try to live in the moment. It will come for thoses who dare to ask the question. And give yourself a pat on the back for actually asking the question, because there are millions of people out there who simply can’t be bothered to ask the question!

I love the comment Matter made. I believe your onto something there.

Be grateful and stay well my fellow lost souls

Hello! I m happy to hear and see that there are other “lost souls” out there…I think i have to agree with Darren, the more we worry the more we move away from the answer…But still its good to have a dialog with ourselves..
I loved the fact that many of you guys shared your stories… I am especially very touched by Aspirin, Matter and Affen´s stories…i can clearly see myself in your situations, guys…
A bit about myself…
I am a 22 year old girl (actually almost 23, turning on december 3-d) that is born in Moscow. I finished high-school when i was 16 . Since i was a child i have always been interested in foreign languages, different cultures and people! When i was 15 my dream was to be a journalist! I even tried to enroll into Faculty of Journalism of Moscow State University… Unfortunately the competition was very high( and once again we hear that word “competition”….maybe that is what we all are afraid of….) and i didnt make it on the last exam…. I entered another university, faculty of Foreign Languages…i studied there for 2 years. When turned 18 i moved to Italy, Milan. There i studied Fashion Communication and Marketing..i had one year left when i got into depression…No medications, nothing helped…only time healed it….Only today i know the reason to it… I wanted too much! By saying it i dont mean wanting more or dreaming about more…i mean , not being able to enjoy the present moment. I couldnt enjoy people i was with, i couldnt enjoy my school, i couldnt be myself…i was asking myself “what if..?” and i was living my life as if 5 minutes from there were far more important then the instance i was in!
…Then i met a guy! The right one! He helped to find the meaning in life…
So i was 20 by then… we moved in together… First we lived in Norway, then we moved to Sweden( that is where he is from) and now we live in San Diego,California. We have a 9 months old baby and i know that our baby is one of the most amazing things that happened to me…BUT! I still dont know what do i want from life! I mean i have tons of hobbies and i love being around people, i speak few languages( 5) and i still cant find a way how to combine all those things in one to come up with the perfect dream job for me ))
So i guess, as Marc said, i want to do something that the humans remember me after i am gone…

and here is an example of a person that found out what he wants to do with his life!
Its my husband. He is 25 and he has just started his dream education.. He finished high school when he was 19…since then he has been working,travelling and getting to know himself…When i asked him once, why he didnt go to study before he said: ” I didnt feel inspired, i was not motivated,i didnt know myself good enough”…He also added that since he met me ,i opened new sides for him that he wasnt aware of and that now more then ever he knows what he wants from life! ….So he is going to be a pilot!
Cheers for my darling, my big example

Some interesting comments! Some of you might find reading Barbara Sher’s books helpful – especially Wishcraft (free online) and Refuse to Choose… She mentions some people are ‘specialists’ or ‘divers’ and some are ‘scanners’ interested in multiple things that scan the horizon for something new (when they get bored with the old). I’m totally interested in a lot of things too, and I feel like things are finally ‘getting together’… (For what I’m doing now, the eco projects, being interested in a lot of things is VERY helpful!!)
/Still trying to figure out the money aspect, most of the rest of it really comes together nicely though! /

You may choose to find something you hate and then find the opposite of it – the solutions, and then fight for it, using all your multi-skills!!

There are some other possibly helpful books too..

Keith, it doesn’t have to be ‘either – or’ it can be, a bit of this and a bit of that… Can you make the non-profit more financially successful? (Maybe by getting better grants and improving fundraising or such?)
Can you only do non-profit work part-time, and work on more profitable things otherwsie? (The non-profit would appreciate any donations too!!) So, there are ways to make a difference directly and indirectly!!

Affen, you can maybe study chemistry (or something else) and still hang out with the cool architects or artsy/crafty people?

Kristina, you can do journalism even without a journalism degree!! Look up the books for freelance writers by Jenna Glatzer and Kelly James Enger!!
It can actually be helpful if you DIDN’T study journalism!!

I think that when millions of people cant find the answer to one question, there must be a problem with the question. Maybe “how do i know what i want” can never really be answered. Reading everyones stories (which sound just like mine), it sounds like money and enjoyment are two opposites that are trying to be reconciled, which are two things that are extremely difficult to combine (if not impossible).
i think i just dont want to work, which is why the lottery really would be the perfect solution. I am by no means lazy, i paint and learn languages and love to travel (like a lot of other people here), but there is no money or prestige in that, its just what i do. So maybe the problem isn’t knowing what to want, its being able to do things you like without all this mortgage and student loan crap. So the ideal solution is to get paid to paint and learn languages and travel, but the reality is that nobody pay anyone to do that stuff! its a catch 22.

a favorite quote of mine from milan kundera
“we can never know what to want, because, living only one life, we can neither compare it with our previous lives nor perfect it in our lives to come.”

I find this a little bit comforting to know that there are also other people feeling in a similar way… I am a 24 year old doing a Masters Degree in computer science and I can’t put my heart and soul into the studying because I am not totally interested in it… I still don’t know why I chose to do MS in computer science since I had always loathed the IT industry… Moreover I left my job for this higher studies that I am doing now because I was not good at it… But I loved the job and had my manager as a very good guide… I left it since I was not good at it and then went on to pursue the so-called higher studies in the same field that I hated and now I suck at the graduate studies in which I have a very low GPA and I have no job (even on campus or part time), no internship and am an international student studying in US on a bank loan…. I seriously do not know what to do with my life… I am feeling so depressed.. anyone there to suggest something for me?!?!?!

Hi there Big Time Loser…I would call you…have a go guy! Be positive!! you are doing a hell of a lot more than most people I know who have NO motivation to get on with life. I wish I was 24 again. I am 52 with no qualifications. Along the way I have taken short courses and now I work with children who have holes in their education. I love it. But if you had said to me at 24, you will work with disadvantaged kids….I wouldn’t have believed it. We do things for a reason, and what ever that reason was at the time you decided to do what you are doing now. It may feel a waste of time,…but look around you..what opportunities can you see. You are an intelligent person who took on a lot of responsibility . Maybe you are expecting too much too soon? If you really loved that job…you wouldn’t have left it. Don’t look back, look for new opportunities. You are letting small failures cloud your vision. There is something there for you, ….you can use your qualification do to many other things. It shows you are capable, studious and not scared to take a challenge. OK it didn’t work out, but I think you are the type of person who will have a great life. …sorry this is sounding like a tarot reading.

Hello ‘Look on the Bright side’, you are a real good speaker and thanks for the pep talk.. what you say makes sense.. Happy to hear it from some one more experienced than me..Anyway, I am trying even though I fail at times.. And thanks to you for making my day!!
All the best!
Thanks!!

I’ll also say that reading Aspirin’s comment was like finding a lost twin brother! I don’t think our modern world accommodates “Renaissance” people who like to dabble at a lot of things (and are good at it), but not focus on any one as “the” career for their entire life.

I think that Marc’s “in the end we all die” comment has insight, but for me misses the mark. I don’t want to make a mark for all eternity and satisfy my ego. For me, knowing that in the end we all die (and, being a history major, knowing that most of the ~100 billion people who’ve lived and died on Earth are forgotten to history) means that I need to lead a full life and love all the beauty now — no one else is going to do it for me. JDog’s Kundera quote is informative on this point; we can’t truly know what it’s like to walk in another’s shoes, to know what would have happened if we hadn’t left that job / chosen that degree / broken up with that person. And we can’t come back and do it again, so stop and enjoy life now while you can.

Throughout our angst about “what do to?”, the sun shines, the flowers bloom, and the dog wags its tail. We live our lives like we’re driving on a freeway, making decisions at 70 m.p.h., when all around us is exquisite beauty and life. I take a lot of photos, and one of my favorites is of a chicory flower on the side of the road in Illinois. I’d only pulled over to let the dogs out, and there by the guardrail was this amazing flower. Never would have noticed it at 70 m.p.h.; instead I would have zoomed past looking inward, wondering about where to stop to eat, whether I needed to get fuel, etc.

So I think what we need to do is stop asking what we *want* to do, and instead start enjoying and taking in all that is around us already.

Jeff – I think you’re spot on! I’m a 19 year old living in Canada; after my first year of university I decided that Medicine wasn’t for me and that I should transfer into the Faculty of Education. In the past year, I’ve rethought this decision MANY times. I couldn’t make up my mind! I’m still rethinking my decision over and over again – mainly because I have other interests that are nagging at me, like so many people here. I’ve always been interested in religion and the idea of getting a PhD in Religious Studies gets me tingly with excitement.

I think it ultimately comes down to diving in and sticking with a plan. If it turns out to be something you do not like, you still have gained so much experience! You never know when that experience will come in handy in the future. Don’t fret about it and DON’T lead yourself to believe that it has all been a waste. I believe it never is a waste.

Marc – you left an impression on me! I love what you had to say because it rang with so much truth when I first read it. But if what you are saying IS true, then what do you propose we do on this earth before we die? Just wait around?

…What are you doing with your life as an egoless human being? I’m curious.

Thanks for your comment, Jeff…love Canadians…I’m one, too!

So many people feel the same……I thought I was alone.

Im 20years old and I feel like a failure. I did well at school and when it came to going college I wasted a year because I changed my mind on what career I wanted so had to change courses so then after doing 3years at college I went to uni and did Wildlife Conservation with Zoo Biology for about 7months (not even the full first year) because I realised uni wasn’t for me and I wasn’t enjoying the course or being there at all. So I left. That’s another year wasted. And realistically the animal profession won’t happen for me even though that’s what I love. And now I don’t know what career I want! I feel so shit because I need a proper job – I have a casual waitressing job atm which is only like 2days a month! So income isn’t great, and I’ve been looking for another job now since I left uni last April but haven’t had any luck. But the problem also is that I won’t be happy in any job unless its a career job aiming somewhere and that has meaning. And getting such a job will require qualifications that I don’t have.

I really need a career but I dont know what I want I feel crappy coz all my friends n people I know that are my age are getting degrees and getting married moving onward with their lives but I’m stuck!!!!

I’m planning on going on a gap year with my closest friend this year, hopefully that will help me figure out what I want while I’m away, and then after that I may be gettin married so I have 2 things to look forward to. But for now I can’t help feeling like a failure.

Terrible article. Not cogent and poorly organized.

Lily! I’m so sorry to hear all that and I hope you come to the realization that you’re not a failure! I have a 20 year old sister who has been severely depressed for the past two years – and I mean severely depressed! There have been months when she hasn’t gotten out of bed and I was the only person she talked to. She was popular in high school and got honors with distinction – she’s aiming for Medicine right now but is stuck because she has some roller coaster marks from her first three years of university. She went from a 0.0 one semester to a 4.0 the next semester! And this pattern has repeated itself during the course of three years.

So, Lily, don’t beat yourself up!!! ABOUT ANYTHING. I’m sure you’re an amazing person and YOU’RE SO YOUNG! I know that my sister has this habit of dwelling on the past – and I think you might to – and this might be preventing you from moving forward with confidence.

I think it’s great that you’re getting married and planning to spend time away thinking things over and hanging with your pal – you’re on the right path! And the fact that you are guilty that you’ve “wasted” time means that you’re not some lazy bum who’s playing video games all day.

Why can’t the animal profession work for you if that’s what you love?

To: Hello! ^

Thanx for yur msg, it made me feel better n after speaking to a few friends I do feel better that I have a rough idea for the future, I don’t feel as helpless as before. Yur right I do tend to dwell on the past and being negative does knock my confidence. The animal profession won’t work out for me given my location and more so family/cultural traditions n expectations… but I am thinking of possibly becoming a Paramedic once I’m back from my gap year..that’s the only career option I’m taking a liking to at the moment.

I’m really sorry to hear about yur sister being depressed, I understand how awful she must be feeling..I do. i think its good thoh that she’s talking to you and not shutting you out. It says a lot that even though she’s feeling so low, she can trust and confide in you! I truly wish her all the best in doing Medicine and hope she gains back a lot of confidence to go as far as she can in the future.

X

Best of luck, Lily!

Thanx

Not sure if comments this far down ever really get read, but here is my opinion.

A lot of people seem to be able to relate to this article which I think is great BTW:) Saying they cannot find what to do in life etc. I can also relate but have seemed to be on the up side of the climb.
When I was in high school I dropped out, I thought, I don’t need school! Thought it was a bogus waste of time and dropped out 3 times. I always had confidence that I wouldn’t need it and I would get my just fine on my own. Always having this huge desire that I was going to make it. Not famous but I would have money, what I wanted etc. As I got older, I still had the feeling but I began searching on, how or what was going to get me there. Trying different things never really got anywhere but good things did always seem to be on my side.
I think we are all born with this drive of greatness because face it, we all are great. We can accomplish anything we want to do. That brings us back to the question, what do we want to do?
I can see being at 45 and feeling this way might feel worse then at 25. I think the answer lies in us. We never really stop to get inside ourselves and see what touches are hearts. Were so caught up in finishing school, getting pushed by our parents, what to take in the next school etc. We loose track and load ourselves with stresses and completely forget why we are here. I myself didnt go on to university after high school, hell i didnt even graduate until I was 25. But I spent that time getting to explore things, screw up be a kid, enjoy life and learn about life. Yes I have always been searching for what I want to do but never in a rush to do so because nothing ever called to me. I mean how many people WANT to be an accountant?? lol… not many I dont think but sure it pays well. But do you want your life to be revolved around money? I sure as hell dont. If it means slaving away just so I can have a nice ass sports car and a big house for what? SO I can say hey look what ive accomplished in my life! Heart burn, no hair, over weight and unhappy!
And no turning back now because I have 4 other people to support and depend on me!
Being 27 I am only just starting to figure out what I want to do, and I am so excited to get started. I think a big part of the picture is how can I help or how can i serve the rest of humanity? Nothing makes us more happier then to give, help, serve for the greater good. There is so much out there and we are capable of so much more then 9-5 and money. That is all man made bull that has taken over and we are slaves to it.
So think or ask yourself, how can i help? or maybe even what would make me happy right now to go and do? See my grandma? Go skiing? Take the dog and my camera for a walk? Take some time for yourself and slow down. Get inspired, read a book, journal, ask yourself questions. We are great divine beings keep the spark alive!

Much love and peace
Molly

Thanks to Look on the Bright Side who made me realize that I was letting ‘ small failures cloud my vision. I’m going to try to take that to heart and move forward with gusto. The hardest part is knowing in which direction to move forward in.

I am currently about to take a job that I feel is not right for me. I’m constantly beating myself up about all of the things in life that I have not done. I have this voice inside my head that is telling me that I should be more that what I am- that I should have taken on more challenges- that i’m too lazy to accomplish anything significant- that I’m not smart enough to do what I really want to do. And as many others stated at the beginning of this conversation- I’m not really sure what it is I want to do. I feel as though i’ve been floating through life without ever making a good plan. I often feel as though i do things completely backwards and out of order. And yet, I can’t seem to change.
I guess I got bogged down in over analyzing everything. Every failed relationship, friendship, job, hobby, project. I want to be more than I am, and yet all I want is to be happy with who I am. This is a recipe for unhapiness… striving to be happy with who I am yet, yet only wanting to be someone different.

I got a degree in horticulture and have since been pursuing jobs within the agriculture industry. somehow I often end up at a table eating with 10 men between the age of 30-60 and i’m a 26 year old female. I realize that it doesn’t make sense for me to be pursuing this career, yet I can’t seem to walk away. Mostly because i’m not sure what I want to do. My mind is scattered and not linear, I can’t seem to keep my thought logical and in order- my brain is constantly jumping from one thought to the next and so of course I can’t acomplish anything because I can’t focus long enough to do one thing!
I think I will get some meds for Adult ADD. I’ve also battled depression on and off throughout my life- spending countless hours telling myself how awful my life is and beating myself up for not doing anything about it. How silly.
Sometimes I just want to turn my brain off and say STOP IT, let me be in this moment. let me have moments peace please.

I am 26 years old, married and having a daughter…..I am doing my masters in mechanical now,I worked for 3 yrs before….I dont know anythng about what I study,politics anythng but how to overcome this and more important I am not serious in anythng always funny but try to be serious it does not happen……help me out what can I do? I waiting for the change, I want to learn from basics…………………..

Molly – thank you so much for your comment…..I love how positive you are even though life can be difficult, you don’t agree with letting society shape you, it seems yu do what you want and what makes you happy, and that’s good! I envy yur positivity and zest for life

I hope that I too one day develop that amazing spark! X

why do i love to hear another mans problems that i have the same?!

Peace!

I wanted to post some helpful tips, but It doesnt allow me to post =( Maybe too many letters.

Wow, that was useful
1. nobody knows what they want!
2. many people are (like me) interested in many different areas and skilled in many areas at once!
3. The esoteric goal of being well off and ‘happy’ DOING what we love is about as common a projection as it gets.

You ARE going to die, it’s a fact, what you do with your meanwhile is up to you. Most people are taking the fastest road to wherever it is they think they are going, with out stopping to take photos of the flowers along the way. It’s a sad truth, and even when you are ‘at your peak’-not in all life, but say for the month or week.- You probably are thinking about your ‘global picture’ and bringing yourself down again real fast afterwards.
I am 27/m home schooled in OR. lived in motor homes (travelling and parked for 5 years. backpacking for years out side of the USA for a year at a time as a kid and lived in Greece the last 6 years. The bad part is I went Legally blind 10 years ago.
AND I KNOW WHAT I WANT. haha I just had the cake first. now ‘combining the outer systematic / financial world with all those interests and art skills brings an half sweet half bitter answer.
The best teacher, (assuming you read Elkhart Tolle and already agree with several people int his forum about being present and
“You can enjoy just about anything, if you really want to take it as a spiritual practice, -use ‘it’ as energy to help you remain conscious of your reactions. this is a better way to spend your time before death then any other I can think of.

MAY YOUR REACH ALWAYS EXCEED YOUR GRASP ]

so if that is true, then that DESIRE to grow and change your situation is not a burden or a thing to ‘get rid of’ so i can comfortably sit here on my ass and indulge my senses forever. That is a crock of poop-ola-dude.
-=– if you win the lottery and can sit there and indulge yourself.. it’s nice, really nice, I did it for 4 years basically, but you get SOFT, you stop being (dare i use the word?) competitive! you slowly stop stretching yourself out of your comfort zone.

what most people here are really talking about is getting out of their comfort zone and seeing what develop out of it. That fear, “if i change I dunno what I’ll get!!” .. MAYBE what i have is better then the UNKNOWN.
That is a recipe for disaster in your life. if you are doing anything write, it should be CHANGE,

CHANGE IS THE ONLY CONSTANT.

and with out that gift of awareness going on, every attachment you have will tell you, ‘I dunno what I want’, because I want the future to conform with the ideas of who I was in the past (Dutch chemistry dude;z) that I have of myself’. BUT I want the future to be DIFFERENT as well…
well..

“if you don’t change your path, you’ll end up where your going!!’

theres a lot of goal setting work in there, and goal following work..
which goals to set?? hmmm
you have to dream,
if you can’t dream, then you got a big problem, and I don’t mean a general vague dream like ‘wealth’, it has to be concrete, you have to TASTE it! you have to practice focusing on it so hard for just a few minutes a day that you can imagine the way it would feel in every onf of your 5 senses!
otherwise the motivation to follow that ONE DAMN PATH…. is going to allude most of us.. because we are going to drift with our interests… we will quit when the opposition comes…

THE BEST STUDY I RECOMMEND, is Integral by Ken Wilber

– That’ll get you to look at your goals, dreams, situations, from a ‘new’ perspective I guarantee it, because I have not so bad IQ and experiences from life, and he actually started the process of me looking at everything in balence and a perspective that was not just a partial sliver of my needs/wants from one perspective. — Ok I say the best I have had lately; z;z)

May we all stay connected to the feelings that guide us through life choices. not the thoughts which lead us astray lol.

Fez Miester

Life is isnt perfect. We have to make it work.

For a moment I thought I was the only one struggling with this issue. I am a 20 years girl from The Netherlands. At this age, I still dont know what I want. Cause I want so much. I finished high school in 2009. I was very smart, maybe the smartest of my class. (I dont mean to bragg, but I just want state a point after this) Everyone in my class wanted to be a doctor. At the time I also thought I wanted to be one. Maybe a gynaecologist or a dermotologist, a brain surgeon. My best friend who had lower scores, way lower marks than me, got in to Medicine and I didnt. (In Holland, they select Medicine students by drawing of lots) I went and studied Medical Science, thought I would finish it and take a small detour to Medicine. Well after I completed the year, I saw Medical Science wasnt it for me, even thought I completed all the subjects succesfully. And I also saw Medicine isnt it for me. So I stopped Medical Science.

My dad always wanted me to study economics. I thought well I dont know what I want so let me try it. I went for Econometrics, cause I like maths. Unfortunely this maths was totally different than I was used to. (I like calculus, algebra, but im really not good at probabilities). I stopped after 3 months, cause I felt a presure to try and go on. So now all my friends are studying Medicine, except for me. Yeah did I mention they all got in, except for me? Yes..This was also one of the reason I thought it wasnt meant to be. I feel just like affen, my best friend is studying her Medicine en being happy. And I who was once the smartest, is a drop out. I feel like im wasting my time, and my years. Im getting older, and my motivation to go to school is also fading.

Thinking back I should have took the time to decide what I really wanted instead of just choosing something and hoping to get in Medicine school the next year. But I felt pressured by my dad, by his fears. I know He thought I would have gone back to school. I have never been this confused. I dont want to be poor, but on the other side I dont want to be unhappy. And I really dont want to be both. (What is happiness even? For me it is being succesfull in life doing something I like to do, and earn a living. I dont have to be rich. I just have to survive. What is even the true definition of rich?)

I enjoy so many things, art(drawing,designing), music, singing, languages, chemistry and maths, giving advice. These are the things im good in. But why is it so hard for me to choose something. In the back of my head I have always wanted to be in music/entertainment, but I know my family would be against it. Being pressured by time, family, choosing between university or just college. (College is more based on gaining experience by interships etc, whiles when you finish university you dont have any work experience) The other reason why I dont know what I want, is because I cant see myself doing 1 thing in life, for the rest of my life. I think it would be very boring, and it would make me unhappy. I guess a lot of people are with me when I say that. I’ve been working somewhere now for 4 years…doing the same thing it has become a routine. I always go there with a bad mood, but I try to put a happy face on. This is what I want to avoid in the future. I want to be usefull in different areas. (As Im typing this I guess, a lot of people are having this problem. It would be nice if there where programs or more (succesfull) people who could encourage us (mostly the young people from 6-25 maybe), into “what we want to do”…So the young people will not be put into this wilderness of choices and decisions as some of us have been. “Knowing what you like, Knowing what you want, knowing where you want to go” and “Being mature/leader”….things like that)

What marc said was the truth. The real question is not what do I want to do in life? but “what is the meaning of life?” (nobody should kill themselfs now, im just saying something) This is also one of the things I have been struggeling with. I dont neccesarily want to be famous or something. I just want to be remembered. Cause I know one day I’ll no longer be on this earth, I want to have done something of importance, before I go. I dont want to waste my life (and more important money)

Even though I’m also going through this, I would want to advice you some of the things I’ve learned in these few year. (Things I know I will surely pass on to my kids and others). Maybe it will help some of you.
1. The most important thing you should remember at the end, the choice is yours to make. Listen to advice, but dont act on them. Like for example, if your parents tell you to study Law. Only do it, if it your own vision. (I said vision, dreams are not always focused)
2. It is your life and your path. I guess we came alone in this earth, so dont compare yourself to others. (And this is one of the things I had been doing)
3. Happy yourself! Cause nobody else can/will.
4. I dont know if you are religious but I know you have to have God in your life (for Him to direct your path). He will give you the strength during these hard times. To dream, you have to believe(in yourself also). To hope, you have to trust. Ask God for direction, in your life

What are you good at?
What do you love to do?
What does the world need?

The intersection of these answers is your passion.
For example: I have computer skills and it interests me, I am good at this. Even so, I wouldnt want to do this whole my life, It doesnt create passion in me and I think it’s not my true calling. The world may need improving computer technology, but there are still some things I find more important.
Now.. I am also good at giving positive energy to others, finding positive aspects of different problems, helping people. I am also good at playing guitar, which may be connected to the previous ones.
I like to help people, make them smile, guide them. I also like to get new experiences, improve myself and think about the world and life.
I think the world needs more positive energy and love, people who are passionate and love themselves. I believe that each person’s own development will develop the whole world.
So.. my passion is probably/maybe psychology or something similiar. I havent decided yet as I havent gone to the university yet(exams soon)

All of you have good thing’s to say .wish that i could say the same .My head feels like it is about to bust open I

All of you have good thing’s to say .wish that i could say the same .My head feels like it is about to bust open I am 48 and i have not had the schooling that you guy’s have had .and what’s sad about that is that i am the only keeping myself back because i am ashamed of myself for waiting so long.I have lost my job of ten years and feel like a total has been.My kids are grown and doing well . have two grands kid’s girl’s .on unemployment but not for long . and just can’t seem to push myself out there any more .And i know that i have a lot more to give.HELP. THANK YOU HAD IT

As a 19 year old who has just dropped out of his biochemistry course from university due to a little “blip”, or the fact that I was extremely depressed with a topic I had no interest in, and because I was permanently ill due to poor living accomodations, I can say that I have absolutely no idea what I’m going to do; I can’t even think of things I enjoy… I went for biochemistry as I felt pressured into it by my parents, and by my highschool who told me that everyone must apply to UCAS in one month; my time was limited and so I looked at the subjects I was best at and choosed a course based on that. I understand that you have to work to live, and that not many people enjoy their jobs; but I want a job that pays at least a decent amount of money, so I can get a place of my own; and get a girlfriend without being ashamed of who I am. “work to live; not live to work”. People say money can’t buy happiness; I certainly disagree to an extent on that.

I empathise with the older people here…because I am 51 and I feel lost. I have only myself to blame for my current circumstances, but I can’t help feeling let down by my parents because they didn’t make me realise the importance of education etc. I was a very immature 17 year old who went off to University to be a Vet. Instead of taking studies seriously, I had fun. Joined a fraternity etc. In the end, I did get a BS in Science (wanted to be a Vet). However I realised in the end I hated blood and guts. After graduation, I did not have a plan for the future. Luckliy, I got an opportunity to be a model, and did so for the next 20 years. Great travel, some decent money.

I did not learn from the past. I did not plan for the career to end. Still immature..

Near the end, I did try a few business opportunities, but none stood the test of time. I currently have a failing internet based business that I no longer believe in.

I am not very happily married and have a 7 yr old. I have no meaningful income. Luckily we sold our property before the bust and put the money in the bank and Gold. Our savings gives me a sense of security and a lifeline. The savings even provided an income until 0% interest rates.

My BS Science means nothing today, and I don’t fee qualified for anything in today’s world. I feel NUMB. I keep searching for new opportunities, but no real results yet.

Bookshelf Test result: I love finance, and investment opportunities. I scour financial blogs all day long…maybe to a FAULT…Are they addicitve, or is finance my passion? If it’s my passion, I’ve found it too late as nobody in the industry is going to hire a 51 yr old ex-model! I have never been employed by anyone as I was always self-employed.

Reading and learning what’s happening in the financial world gets me depressed. The financial system is run by corrupt bankers, and I do not see a way out of this mess. I don’t want to be a part of it either…

I have escapist thoughts to move to Hawaii…but how can I escape from my self, and my predicament?

This article has resulted in few answers. Maybe we put too much onto our shoulders at once? Maybe we don’t allow ourselves to dig deep because we are creatures of routine…and we are too easily distracted by everyday needs…

I am going to try to sit down and think deeply about what it is I really want. ONE STEP AT A TIME. Enjoy the NOW. Make inroads to the plan with each step I take.

I wish I had the conscious thoughts and worries the younger posters have now. You are still young! You have the whole world to discover! Take time out to find out what you passion is…The are some great exchange programs out there like this:

http://www.icemenlo.com/

Go out and find yourselves…

What a great article, and great comments, makes me feel not so alone. There is a gulf between my reality and my dreams and desires. I always wonder if I ever did reach my dreams would I be happy? That in itself is a little de motivating! I have to say that reading these honest comments has made me feel me feel happier than when I read articles on how to be happy. In the honesty I find connection, connection = happiness. We humans are too divided by money and materialism and weighed down by the pressure of striving for crap that mucks up the world. Perhaps we all need to reshape our lives and stop reaching for what we think will make us happy. Easier said than done, I know.

Glad I found this article and glad to know I am not alone in the way I feel. I eel the same way you do Lost.
I am 36 and on the verge of getting fired from my current job because I have hated it for the past couple of years and am completely burned out. Nothing me or my boss has tried has been able to get me to perform my duties to the best of my abilities anymore. I used to be a great employee but I just don’t care. In a way it feels like relief is coming because I have been thinking about quitting for a long time but have been too afraid to take that first jump, this just takes the decision out of my hands.
To the young people out there, don’t despair. I would recommend NOT going to college right out of high-school if you haven’t figured out what you want to do and take a year or two to try to figure that for yourself. I’m a little wary about recommending a college or school counselor because from my own experience it seems their solution is to go to college and figure it out.
I wanted to be a vet but my parents shuddered at the idea of having a son who works with animals “in a filthy occupation with no respect or dignity.” I folded like a wet paper towel to their criticism and today have a career that I detest.

Take some aptitude tests, take some jobs or look for some internships you might be able to to in order to figure out what it is you want to do. Talk to a counselor and if you don’t like their advise, go talk to another one. Just like a shoe if you don’t feel completely comfortable with one pair try another.
Take some time by yourself and write down what it is you really enjoy and see if you can come up with a plan. Does not matter if you don’t, but at least you will know what you want.
Don’t envy what your friends are doing, it will only make you feel worse and more confused. Some people are just late bloomers and can’t figure out what they want until later in life. Others simply know what they want to do from the moment they are born. Yet others seem to go though life without having a clear picture of what they want. It does not make you any less or a person.

I look back at my life with a lot of regrets until this point. I knew what I wanted to do when I was younger but due to family and social pressure I ended up doing things that I hates but had their approval. Seeing where I am now I would do it all differently.

Oh good LORD! this site is what i’ve been looking for for years now. i just cannot believe it. well here i go: i’m just 18, probably the youngest here but old enough to make my own decisions. Back at junior high, i was almost unstoppable. just learning and cracking the scores! and i did really like it back then, but when i went to high school, everything kinda changed for me. i was still among the best but wasn’t feeling good enough. Then the bomb dropped on me, there was this programme hosted on TV for brilliant students of which i was part. the team performed horribly, i got back to my home devastated. it took almost a year to get a little normal. i realised the reason why things went bad was because i wasn’t focussed and lacked a goal strong “enough” to move me on. Now i’m in a pre-medical course and still haven’t figured out one thing to turn me on! i live on daily inspirations which i don’t like. i want to be the best i can be, and i know GOD has endowed me with skills to excel but i just lack that ONE THING. i would be greatful if anyone can help cos it’s driving me mad!!

ELIZA IS A BABE:)

True, i was considered a genius in high school, i was top of my school in 2 subjects, but when i attended university, i was just lost! i did not even know what i want anymore, things just went from wrong to very wrong then to a totally sh*t hole. And now i’ve finished my degree, i could not find a job because i am not very sure if i really want to work in finance industry. i have no idea what i want! then i seek out drug to make me feel better! but now i realize that drug is only ruining my life so i quit, but i feel lost again…more over, i am all by myself, i feel like no one is with me, even when i am with my friends, i just feel like i am all alone and lost…!!!!

i am a college student and would like to get a degeer, but my problems is that i dont know how to do my assignments,i have worked very hard but still could not do any better. should i give up college or what?

This was good, but it didn’t really help me. I know that choosing a specific path is what I need to do. The problem is…I genuinely do not know what I want to do. I truly don’t know. I’m not even sure anymore what would make me happy. …So where do I go from THERE? …. :/ …blah. But I still enjoyed reading.

-Lauren

alex…. i feel the same as you. im lost to..i feel alone lost, and no job to. im trying to get in to school and start over.. i feel so lost some times. tray.

I second Lauren…I am interested in so many things that I have no idea which to choose or where to begin. I am loving this site though. At least now I know that I am not alone on not knowing what to do.

I truly agree with lauren , he did speak the same things as i also feel all the time, i try to change me for a while thn i get frustrated….. which leads me to a bad & depressed state…..i feel lonely even though i am not……..by reading all these comments i feel that i am not the only one….i keep running away from my responsibilities ,my fears…..

its amazing to know people are stuck in same situation as me , unforunately unlike most topics this would be a helpful thing but it just isnt in this case, i jsut feel like im no good at anything after progressively falling from top to medeocore compared to most and feel liek i have no true idea of what i want to do what i woudl like to do and can i even do it if i want to?

wow after reading the comments, clearly I’m not the only that feels lost, alone, confused, depressed, undecided. I currently dislike my job, and know what I don’t want…but I don’t know what I want….working on my masters and unsure what to major in??? I’m sure God will lead me in the right direction…..keeping faith

… I think it will help our world better if all people know exactly what they want… This will make people know the right price required of them

You guys have made me feel so good. I’m 34 and I used to feel like I had a future, I even got into law school like Pete, but when I went to orientation I realized I didn’t really care about law or the actual work. Money doesn’t mean anything, but now I can’t get a job and when you can’t find work money seems to mean more. Problem is, I still don’t know what to do and feel like there’s nothing I can do.

Things get more complicated than just not knowing what we want. Even if we know exactly what we want right now, our want changes with time and what we have at the moment. Hence, not only do we not know what we want, our want also changes, and therefore making us almost impossible.

It is true that we think we know what we want but lets be honest we do for one minute then it changes. As far as focused on what we want that is another story. We have too many choices these days and it can be hard to decipher what its going to be like to have it. So we find that trying a little bit of everything will help us on our self discovery.

I like the idea breaking up the entire process into smaller, more realistic and quantifiable goals. This way, the fear of a total failure can be significantly reduced. However, we must constantly check at each stage, if the environment and our objectives are still relevant. The one thing I’ve learnt in life is, “Change is the Only Constant.”

Seek God’s will for your life – He will direct your steps.

It is true. How do you know what you want? It is for some of us a daily drama to find the answer on that question. It is not something that you can learn in a training or workshop. It is in following your heart and adapt to what is happing to you. As long as you get energy and joy out of that what you are doing you are on the right track!

you can’t think in terms of “What do I want?” Because economics are based on “What the Market wants!!!” If political forces drive society into a direction of intense socio-economic stratification (fewer haves having a lot more and a lot more have not’s or have nothings) your ability to do what your ability to do what you want becomes proportionately limited unless you are one of the HAVES. In which case if you are a HAVE you can do just about anything you want because what you do doesn’t have to be based on survival. In a reverse scenario – what is commonly referred to as a “good economy” There are more people economically in the middle, not at the extremes of wealth and poverty. This scenario gives the most opportunity to the most people to trade what they want to do against the fickle demands of a strong and diverse marketplace.
At the same time demographics matter…. When the baby boomers were young they placed incredible market demands on various things, surges in demand for music, clothing, then later housing and cars… and now we know their final demand surge is to be healthcare as they age. And a wake of overconstruction as they downsize and no longer need vacation homes while financial speculation, bad lending, technology squeezing commercial property and strict limits on immigration has all also put huge downward pressure on real estate. So, not a good time to strive to be a homebuilder… not a good time to open a retail store… the market rules. It is a good time to become a nurse… but will it still be good in 20 years? Baby boomers will die… someday there maybe too many health workers! What is happening to the baby boomer bubble is very interesting! It was once a bulge in the demographic charts, from birth to later years… but as boomers age they die and so the age population categories have been getting flatter and flatter… soon the bulge will be gone. Instead there will just be more flat categories of older and older people. In other words… the population is nearly equal in all age categories!!! That is a strange situation. 0-5 year olds, 5-10,10-15… on and on up to 100 years old… each category is nearly equal in terms of population. This means that no market based on age is large! it’s a bunch of small markets. Sure some products and services span many age categories, but most do not.
Look at the market and see what the market wants and then look at yourself and see where you can best serve it. Some people want to sit around and be fed grapes by bikini clad models while they lounge about by the pool. There are only so many roles available for that… and most of them are filled at the moment.

After reading the article, I have come to know that I’m not the only that feels lost, alone, confused, depressed, undecided. I currently dislike my job,and want to change.but i dont know what i am good at.what is that i like.
I need help.pls guide

but i really dont know what i want…………………………..given all words are true and motivate us but …………how can i know wat i want????????????

life is full of suprises and unknow wating for things we dont knwo come so dat wen comes times can final make our minds as wat we maybe wat or not in life

Here’s a great perspective on things, from Steve Job’s 2005 Stanford Commencement speech:
http://news.stanford.edu/news/2005/june15/jobs-061505.html

Hope it provides some things that might resonate with some of you.

Hi Marloes,

I’m happy that I read your comment, “It is in following your heart and adapt to what is happing to you. As long as you get energy and joy out of that what you are doing you are on the right track!”

I received a law school offer and a very good summer internship offer almost simultaneously last week. For a moment, I thought my future is doomed, I won’t get anything after undergrad. The next thing I know, staying up until 4 in the morning, emailing lawyers, professors and friends, seeking for their advice on which option I should choose. The thing is that everyone’s advice is different, some says you are still young, more education can’t hurt you, if you reverse the question of “what if law school is going to be a waste of time of 3 years” to “I’m gonna miss working for 3 years if I go to law school”, then think are you actually going to miss working? You’ll have the rest of your life to work! Others say if you don’t intend to be a lawyer, just want to have law as a background when you are in business, then don’t do it. It’s a lot of work, and for the most part, it’s very theoretical, not very applicable to business unless you want to do corporate law. Or alternatively, work as a corporate lawyer for a few years, then go to into business after, so that your legal education will actually become more valuable.

The truth is I don’t know what I want, and I am not sure if I will enjoy law school. I’m curious to know what a legal career would be like, but not sure if I want to commit myself 3 years in school to find out. I’m just utterly utterly confused… I wish I can still hear that little voice in me that tell me what I should do, you know like gut feeling. But I have research so much about this, thought so much about it, I honestly don’t know what my gut feeling is anymore.

My apologies for this long message. Just something that came to my mind after reading your comment.

Cheers,
Julianna =)

Hi Sham, I am just as confused as you are. So you’re not alone. I found this video a while ago, Marcus Buckingham’s guest lecture on Oprah about how to realize your strengths and weakenesses. Highly recommend it, might be of some help.

http://www.oprah.com/money/Marcus-Buckinghams-Career-Intervention

Loved that speech!!

Hi Affen, I’m probably in no position to offer any definitive answers to you, as I am in the process of choosing between full-time job or law school, which is why I stumbled upon this blog by literally searching on google “how do I know what I want to do” =P so you’re not alone. Tons of people of your age are just like you, not knowing what to do. But I do have two stories from my friends that perhaps can make you feel better.

First story, my friend took a year off after high school to work at a restaurant, earn lots of tips money and started university the year after. She studied for one year and just felt like the program was not right for her, so she took a semester off and travel in Europe. But after traveling she still doesn’t feel if her program is right for her, so she transferred to another program. As far as I know, she is still not happy with her program. Will she ever find the thing that she wants to do? Who knows. No one can help her other than herself. But this is something I learned in life that “you can never really do what you want exactly, but you can always do what you FEEL.” Because no one can have the perfect life doing exactly what they want, but the thing is that you always have a choice, and you can make that choice based on how you feel. So ask yourself what do you feel?

Second story, a friend of mine that I met in first year university. I was in business, he was in science. First year science class, he failed 2 course, barely passed 3, second year science, again the same thing. So in 3rd year, he switched to business and had to start fresh taking 1st year business course. But STILL, he can’t seem to motivate himself to do the work. So now, all of us are in 4th year, final year of our undergrad, whereas he is working at a telecommunication company as a telephone service person. He told us only if he had sticked it out on something, doesn’t matter what thing, at least he could be better off than answering telephone calls all day.

Life is about 10% of what happens to us, and 90% of what you do about it and how you think of it. So if anything just know this – the way we think shapes our reality.

So what you think in your mind will be your reality. If you think a certain way, then your reality will be that way.

Hi Keith, I’m only 22, so I’m not sure if I’m the most suitable person to comment on your situation. But here is how I look at it, I hope it might be of some help to you.

You are 50, if you’re lucky, you’ll be able to work until 70, and live until 80 with good health. So that leaves you 20 years to work and 30 years to enjoy life. And since you mentioned you have enough financial resources to support you, but not enough to live off it forever, then perhaps you can work for 5 more years to accumulate more wealth, while volunteer at the mediation center during weekends. At the same time, look into the possibility of working as board of directors at some of these organizations, so that later on in life, you can serve as board member and be able to lead the organization. Because to me, it seems that you’re a competitive person, and sitting at home all the time probably won’t satisfy your ego for long. One of my professor is 75, but he looks like as if he is 65. He loves his job and says working makes him feel younger than ever.

Hi Kristina! Thank you for sharing your story. I’m from Canada, but is currently on exchange in Milan at Bocconi University. So when I read that you live in Milan and studied fashion, I instantly said to myself I have to contact this girl! I suppose it’s all about connecting the dots… I have many dots in my life that are just not connected. But I want to believe that one day in the future that these dots will be connected and things will make sense.

In terms of realizing your strengths and weaknesses, I watched Marcus Buckingham’s guest workshop on Oprah, I find it an eye-opening experience. Here is the link http://www.oprah.com/money/Marcus-Buckinghams-Career-Intervention

Although strangers who have never met, but I wish you all the best! Keep in touch.
Julianna

The only logical thing I could thing of doing is – quit the program and go back to your old job. Because first of all, you don’t like what you are studying, so chances are you won’t have a good career. Second of all, continuing studying will only accumulate your bank loan… you are basically borrowing money from the bank to study something that you don’t like. Doesn’t make much sense to me.

While working at your old job, you can look into the opportunity of finding a job in a different area. But the key thing is – stop studying something that you hate, cause it won’t lead you anywhere other than more bank debt.

After reading “Look on the Bright side” comment, I realize I didn’t add that if you’re almost done with your program, then you should just stick it out! Don’t stop running if you’re almost near the finishing line. Finishing up your education can’t hurt you! =D

This is beautiful.

I’m Canadian too!! So happy to see Canadians here!

Jeff what you said about “I think it ultimately comes down to diving in and sticking with a plan” is so true. I have two options in front of me, both are equally interesting and challenging. The thing is that doesn’t matter which one I choose, if I choose it, I have to stick with it, not going back and forth.

The bottom line is THIS IS YOUR LIFE. You feel every moment of it. And since only you can feel what you feel, and your parents can’t get inside of your head to feel your feelings, they are not really in the position to tell you what to do. I mean if they actually can get inside your head and feel your pain, they would probably say something like “son/daughter, I can feel how much pain you are in, you should quit dentist school and study the subject of your choice”.

You ONLY have one life to live! Sometimes you have to be a little selfish with your career choice. This selfishness is well justified, cause you know why? You have ONE life to live, and after you are dead, you are gone forever. While you are here, do what makes you feel joy. You only have one shot, one life to feel joy!

I’m also feeling a bit lost at the moment. At school I had very definite talents and interests so those led naturally to university study and to my first job. But along the way I did other things as well like committees, traveling and part time jobs. Those other activities made me realise I have many more talents and options than the ones I considered at school. Also I’m now more mature, so I can cope better in situations that don’t suit me. Suddenly I feel like i have a lot more choice, and I’m a bit bewildered by it. I always thought I knew exactly what I wanted to do, but the more life experience I get the more indecisive I am!

Lot’s of people don’t like their job. I think that’s the greatest pain in the world, worse than a bad relationship. Keep searching yourself, you’ll find the answer. Good luck.

“but the more life experience I get the more indecisive I am”

-my god yes, something feels right about that comment

I get caught up in LaLa land wondering maybe I should do, Programming, or become a Stock Trader, sometimes I get random thoughts of being a photographer. I just seem to have to many things I want to do and can’t seem to stick to one goal. I know deep down, since a kid I wanted to be an actor. A couple years back, I tried out for this reality tv show and went off to the second round of auditions. The 1st part of the audition were questions coming from the producers to 20 of us in a room at the same time. When I was in that room and the questions started rolling, I shined! I took full control of the opportunity. I answered the questions in the most entertaining but yet clever way. 2nd audition/interview came and I bombed. I was nervous because this time a camera was shinning in my face. But I can remember how electrifying that feeling was to command attention like that. I’m 25 and I feel fearful of what comes with being an actor. I know I can put in the hard work, its just the lifestyle that comes with it im fearful of. I guess that’s just part of growing that skin in life.

i am gong through a midlife transition wiyh no definite specific goal in mind.how can i come to a clear logical conclusion in deciding what i really wanted do with my life.Please could you send me some helpful literatrue.Thanks.

Hi Andrew,

I know how you feel. I went through the same stage in my life. You’ll eventually find what it is that you want to do. When that day comes, you’ll be able to understand why you had to go through this predicament you are experiencing now. The important thing is that you don’t give up!

i wish i had your certainty in “god”, but i see myself as being too “rational”. I dont think your wrong, i just think differently. i envy the certainty you must have in your faith, it must make it easier to be certain about the other commonly uncertain parts of life?

I dont think that its just about knowing what you want , its more about knowing who you are. Many people dont know themselves very well, so they waste time with the miscellaneous details like money, status and power. But what about you, i thought the most important thing in life is to be happy. If its that easy to be happy then why not just take a risk. Follow a career that you love regardless of its pay or status. After all you have to do it for almost the rest of your life. Dont waste time, just start getting to know yourself better by opening to new experiences and seeing from new perspectives.Sure it seems a bit naive but arent you the most important factor in picking a career. Money is nice it keeps you comfortable but money is just paper, its worthless in the sense of happiness. Material possesions are nothing compared to the people we meet.And the most important thing is to feel like your a part of something, that your job feels like you actually belong there. Sure everything has its ups and downs but if at the end of the day you feel like you still want to be there then trust me you picked the right career.

[...] wenn es mehrere Dinge erledigen muss.Deshalb ist es besser, sich zu fokussieren und zu fragen: “What Do You REALLY Want?”. Diese Frage stellt PickTheBrain.com. Wenn man nur weiss, was man nicht will, wird man dadurch [...]

Hi faith,

Think of something that you love to do. What is your talent? When have you been somewhere on earth that you said, “Wow this is where i belong?” I was singing since age three and writing my own songs. I have been denying one of my talents because of my lack of commitment. Everywhere I go, every time I sing I have shocked faces and compliments. One time I went in a karaoke bar and I sang my own version of over the rainbow that fit my voice-no one was paying attention to anyone in the bar, but when I started to sing all eyes where on me and not a sound was heard. I received so many compliments afterward. I was not telling myself that I was good, other people were. What do your friends say about what you are good at. What do you love to do. It might be a few things. Some things are just hobbies and attractions, other things are your gift shining through. Hey write it down-make a list of ten things you love to do and then circle the two that stand out and start with that…jump into who you are meant to be and take it step by step-don’t expect it all to happen in two weeks. This is a lifetime of being who you are meant to be. Good Luck.

Ok I found myself in every comment people left here…
I’m 18 and going to law school this fall on the state university in my country.My mom’s a lawyer,but since i was born she never worked a day as a lawyer she was kind of a bussineswoman a succesful one until the recession.
I always admired her because she obtained so much with so little.She was on her own since 16 living with her sister.After that she went into my country’s capital with no money and survived through law school.Long story short she was always my Idol and if anyone asked me who do I admire it was my mom .Also when people asked me what do i want to be when i grow up since I remember about myself I always said a lawyer.
She never forced me to be like her,always left me to make my own choices and now I dont know what I REALLY WANT !!!!

Sorry for being so long but i needed to get this out of my chest !

All the comment makes this article only better and better.
I also struggle with this question myself. I’m almost 25 and wasted a lot of years. I didn’t finish my education, I didn’t experienced love in my life yet. I even haven’t kiss yet. I struggle with social anxiety, which basically means I avoid people. Because of this I have wasted many years.. And feel like a complete failure, I see my peers going to live together, some even have children. Most have stable jobs.

But I, I still feel like a little boy. I’m currently  going to start a home based study, its not what I want, but I don’t know what I want. I just do this so I can improve my life, financially and can be independent some day.

Hitting the age of 25 hurts a lot, I feel like I have no time left to really enjoy life. My youth has passed me by without me being involved in it. 
I have zero friends, part time low paying job, no education, no hobby’s nothing.

Because I lived such a “small life” the past years I did had a lot of time to think about what I want in my life. But let me tell you this, thinking about is not going to give you the answers. I think that is doesn’t really matter what you do, job wise, or how you live. 
I think we all crave love, acceptance, respect, and want to be part of some group.

All jobs that are now existing in the world are “unnatural” by the way. Not one human being is here with a goal like becoming a lawyer, or a financial controller.

I think we should just try to be as happy as possible, which at the end always depends on the quality of the connections that we have with other people.

The job is just to survive in our world as it is right now. We all consume so we have to do or duty to make that possible.

What I also wanted to mention is, when thinking deeper and deeper about what I want to do in life, I always set higher and higher expectation about myself. It started with, a decent job, but it ends at dreaming of being a famous superstar.

Of course some people make it, but I guess we just have to focus on what we can do right now in the situation that we are right now. Stop dreaming of unrealistic adventures that can’t happen right now. I think we should start making baby steps and just do what is possible now, in that way we get direct feedback from or emotions which is the only thing what can guide is true life and give is feedback about what we do like and don’t like.

Good luck everyone!

ps. I don’t like the thought of  ”you have to leave the world with an impact, so people will remember you when you’re gone”. This makes me feel like I should sacrifice myself now and the result after my dead is only thing counting. 
That’s such a depressing thought. I rather be happy right now, I’m not going to experience anything after my dead so who cares if I leave the world with something left.

If you’re a loving and good person for the people around you then that’s far more worth then leaving some material impact after your dead.

pss. I’ve also experienced that doing something totally different then you’re normally do can shake you up, and bring you more to what matters right now. 
This is actually very simple. For example, turn on some music and dance the most crazy’s dance that you ever invented. Do it with some others and you will have the most fun every! 

May be crazy dancing is all that matters.

Pete sounds just like me. In fact, in some ways I’m still not as sure as I could be about what I want, but I’m still setting goals, which I hope will get me to where I want to be. 

[...] Editor over at Pickthebrain.com makes an interesting point about the importance of knowing what we want in life. If we want to be [...]

I just graduated from college with a bachelors in psychology.  I wanted to be a clinical psychologist.  I don’t even want to go into the field anymore.  I guess the good thing is, I could get into many masters programs with the degree.  But I just don’t know what I want to do with my life now.  I feel terrible because of it. 

I am a 17 year old running on 18 and going in to grade 12, I’m pretty lost in life and have been searching for a way to find myself , who I am , and really how to push myself to be a better person.  Reading this helped me figure out what I really want.  I am glad that the internet is here so everyone can share there life stories and help others.  Thanks

I always worked hard and focus to everything that I do. I always think for good and I do it with all of my heart, but why it seems everything that I do is not enough and end up nothing. I always felt I am used for the benefit of others…

How long will wait and what do i need to do to make my dreams come true…?

What I have lift in me now is my strength to persevere and faith that someday i can have my dream in reality.

Jason I would like to talk with you sometime, I’m pretty much in the same boat.  You seem like you are a great motivator and I could really use that right now.

[...] but we really don’t. We only know what we don’t want….or so says the motivational outfit PickTheBrain. ‘We aren’t getting anywhere,” it says on its site, “because we don’t [...]

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Jeff, I’m 17 and I need to decide what to do – or do I? Anyways, I’ve known deep inside that’s how I feel. I don’t want to work a job, I don’t want so much material. I want beautiful nature and companionship. I wanted to let you know your comment reassured me and made me cry. Thanks,
Julien

Same thing here. Ill be 25 soon and im absolutely lost. Im good at things or maybe just ok, but never pursued anything further. So here i am stuck and lost in life, sad to say its put me into depression and anxiety. *sigh* so your response sounded like where im at. Made me feel good to know im not the only one.

its not even the wanting that makes things difficult nor challenging, it how well you’d settle on what you have, and not looking on to what you dont have…..
contentment is what makes me focus….the rest will be clearer… 

I have just graduated from college but I realized the beginning of my senior year I needed to have a plan.  I myself want to be a teacher, but I also want to do many other things.  I plan to do everything I want, but I had to choose  a path.  I had to decide what I wanted to do first.  I’ve learned you don’t necessarily HAVE to know what you want to do, we all just need to make a plan and stick to it and then go from there.  A lot of my other friends who are recent graduates are having problems figuring this out.  Any advice for them?

just too confused!!!!!:((

Pete will despair on his deathbed.

Tailor-made for me.

3 years later, do you think you’ve found what you were loooking for?

Travel. The world’s a beautiful place

Lol. I’m like you in those thoughts, Jason. You know what we all should do? I think we all should share our email IDs and be friends. People like us (whoever has commented, not just you and me) have a lot to share with the world. What more is required out of life than to love, eat and pray (I haven’t read that book, I’m not interested, lol). Humans have tendency to complicate things. Life is simple. My comment is not an answer. Hence, it’s called a comment.

All you, most brilliant friends, are doubting yourselves.

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I am so lost, I feel like my whole life has been cursed…. I am trying to get into university with tertiary prep, while I am working my low wage hard labour job. I try to understand how to do uni essays, assignments, tutorials etc and it’s like a massive wave of information that’s too difficult to process. I honestly think life is just some sick joke, he biggest troll ever geez.

@ Strwbrryswng 

Firstly, “..They were sitting, they were sitting in the strawberry swing..” – lovely song eh !?  

You have no idea how much you and Jason made me laugh ! 

I love the idea of exchanging email ids and start some crazy chain of events or something, what say ? Let’s do it man ! Let’s do something crazy, for that’s all that really matters ; ) 

Oh btw, I watched Eat, Pray & Love and me and a friend of mine have a corollary to it which is – Eat.

I kiss steve for this Don’t settle. Well as he says am not settled yet and looking to do something better than others, yes only to gain wealth. But everyone is discouraging me, even my own mirror discourages me. But posts like this is what acting as energy for me, just like a spinach for Popeye!

Looking at 150+ comments, am wondering how many petes are there along with me. Am also in a same position as pete. Lots of opportunities ahead and thats what the big problem it seems like. If you are provided with just one or two options, you will choose one. If you are put in a ground with lots of options, it will take 7 lives even to analyse and come to a conclusion about all those options. So as of now, am trying to keep my my steady in one direction.
 
  While this article exactly described about me, there was one other article that described about my situation. I dont remember where i read it from. It was clearly asked and mentioned in that article that ‘Assume you take four boats(business) at a same time to reach your destination(wealth in our case). Do you think you can take all the 4 boats or at least sure that you will take one boat along with you to the destination? or do you even reach destination? because it is tough to pedal all the four boats at same time. Rather if you had chose just one boat, you can accelarte it, focuse and reach your destination pretty quickly. So always take one boat at a time’.

    This was a superb advice. Alongwith this article, now am trying to concentrate on one direction. 

   Just give me tips as how to keep my mind motivated and focussed on the same thing.

It is so hard figure out what you really want to do, there are so many jobs and not enough time to explore them all this the problem i have come to have myself bouncing from college to college trade school to trade school i once even said hey why dont i just become a medical biller ha ha ha no way my friend no way i love this page though it was informative

I know what I want and also trying my best to focus. But am sacred of failure and lack of confidence that I can achieve my dream….    

I recently quit professional school after only 6 weeks..I realized I felt trapped and didn’t have any passion for eyes (yeah..’eye doctor’ school) and I went into it for $.  I put so much effort into taking entrance exams, applying, traveling for interviews, moving away from home..now I have nothing to show for that.  I also am homesick as I commuted to my undergrad where i got my b.s. in bio.  I am trying to stay at my new apartment, but it is hard as I have no purpose here and no friends.  I am constantly trying to find out what I want to do with my life (job shadowing/researching careers) but I have found myself disappointed in careers I thought I would like.  I have a great interest in molecular biology, finance/investing/budgets, medicine, exercise,  cooking, and home improvement.  I know only a few of those are considered careers..and the others are hobbies but I really don’t know how I can possibly choose a career.  I feel like I’m just looking at careers that other successful people I know currently do (nursing, teaching, social work, accounting, financial advising).  I feel like if I pursue something again I will be disappointed and lost again.  I am 22, yet I feel like I have no path/future anymore.  I wish I could have a passion for 1 thing and not have to worry about my other opportunities….

[...] http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/you-arent-getting-anywhere-because-you-dont-know-where-you-want-to-... [...]

hey hai thank u

great one…..
 

This is a very good post. It’s true that lack of focus leads to failure (the small sandcastles). But it’s also true that jumping on the first train that comes along (i.e. becoming a lawyer just because it makes money ) is probably a bad idea, unless, as you write, you want to be ‘conventionally successful’. Being happy is something altogether different. My advice, for people who really want to find out what makes them happy is to do something they are really good at. The chances are they really enjoy this activity, because it comes quite easily to them. They will find a lot of reasons for not doing this activity (it doesn’t make money, it’s too esoteric etc.) but this is the activity they were born to do.

success is a  magical idea  which hides in people minds to help them to reach their goals and turn their dreams into reality not simply because of who they are but more often because of what they do

Every one says to me ” you gotta do what you you want to do”  yes that’s right but sometimes we cannot know what we want !!! or sometimes we love a lot of things that we cannot decide which one to follow .

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My problem is that I really know what I want: I dance and play violin, but since I want that so much, I find myself wanting it done perfectly, and get frustrated almost all the time. Generally I don’t like myself, so I find it very difficult to be happy. I’m constantly worried about unspecific things.

And how is this helpful???  Nothing new and nothing that will actually help you figure out 
“What Do You REALLY Want?”

this is the most relieving words i’ve come across so far. thank you for posting this. now i’m not as worried about life. i feel more relaxed. life really isn’t a competition i have to keep reminding myself that.

Me too

                                                                                       .

 i agree to that..but lately ive been doing some research,like reading books Conversation with God, it helps me a lot; in sorting out my choices in life. But still its good thing i came across with this book. Thanks at least i open myself in to listen to others. i think thats the very reason why i dont know what i want coz i limit myself.

thank God i stumbled accross this post. the best thing to happen to me on this wonderful Friday.

I’m Rohan 17. Can anyone please tell what should be good for me to do in my coming life ?? i have two options 1) IT engineering 2) A Guitarist. I’m doing diploma in IT, i failed in two of my tests maths and ED .I wanna be a guitarist bcoz i love guitar and my parents want me to be an engineer :’( . i don’t know what to do !! some one HEELLLPPP !!

I’m Rohan 17. Can anyone please tell what should be good for me to do in my coming life ?? i have two options 1) IT engineering 2) A Guitarist. I’m doing diploma in IT, i failed in two of my tests maths and ED .I wanna be a guitarist bcoz i love guitar and my parents want me to be an engineer :’( . i don’t know what to do !! some one HEELLLPPP !!

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Well said, you have just made my mind at ease. I’m just recently lost my job bçoz I followed money over happiness and left my old company to a new job and I didn’t like it so I left. I have another job to fall back on working in the disable industry, lucky I had that as a casual job… So I was a workaholic and now with no permit job…..Ive been racking my brain into what I want to do… and your right I should just keep doing bits I like as I will create my own path.. Thanks

First things first, I hope in the three years since you’ve posted this you’ve learned how to spell and be a little more literate then you were then. If you’ve done that well that’s a huge step forward!

I think you meant, “… a little more literate THAN you were then.”

Read Quran

you know what doesn’t help, discouraging people to go forward.  

absolutely right. and the worst thing is at the end of this progress you ll have faced the truth of nothing you ll have done till that time. that s pity! 

I’m coming to this post late, but am fascinated by the feelings you’ve tapped into through writing it. I’ve reflected on this a lot, after pursuing a dream that failed (the brief story here: http://sheridanvoysey.com/what-do-you-really-want ). I think we each long for 4 things: purpose, guidance, liberation and love. For me that realisation led to a spiritual journey – which I guess is what many of us are on,even if we give it a different name.

I think this discussion goes ways deeper than career path, but on that note, experimentation is key. Try a few things out. Allow yourself the time to. My wife didn’t work out what she was meant to do career-wise until her mid-30′s. She’s most successful in her field now.

I am in a situation at the moment- i did go to university because for some reason i was completely dreading it. I know now that i was feeling not ready and i didn’t want to do the course i chose. I have no idea what i want to do. I know i need to go out and do work experience and experiment but i am stuck in the pit that i cannot get out of. I am being lazy and non-proactive – i have no motivation at all and i feel so low right now. It doesn’t help neither that my family are (although they don’t say it) disappointed in me.

i just wana find out if i realy love my boyfriend. i mis him, wana be with him when his far but when his around i dont wana be with him, i dnt feel the sligthest feeling. but when his gone i wana be with him and find out that i anjoy his presence

maybe its more about what you want at this stage of life. Each stage has differing wants and needs, some materialistic, some altruistic. I have had four work careers in 40 years of life, but I still dont know what I want to do, but I have done what I wanted to do at the time.

The last words make a lot of sense. Most successful and interesting people follow their own path. They start with the smallest idea and don’t even plan to be as successful as they plan to be.  Becoming wealthy just because others are  will only put you in a rat race. Do the things that make you feel free. We all have some hobby or something where we feel the best at.

mam actually i love wid a good girl but after sometime she have to go foreign for study i always miss her what we should to do p/z give suggestion

I have
been reading your posts frequently. I need to say that you are doing a
fantastic work. Please keep up the great work.
 

I am looking
forward for your next post, I will try to get the hang of it!
 

I have
been reading your posts frequently. I need to say that you are doing a
fantastic work. Please keep up the great work.
 

I just finished High school and I don’t know what I want to do with my life. I’ve gotten a relatively good score on my final exams but now I’m faced with decisions… What do I focus on? I enjoy more creative things but I did mostly science subjects at school… To be successful I should pursue a science degree…. to be happy I should do something which I don’t know yet… Áll I want is happiness in life and I’m at a crossroads… my decision now could affect the rest of my life. I also want to make a difference in other people’s lives as well… I don’t want a job that will not help people… What should I do after high school? I’ve considered so many possibilities and time is about to run out in choosing… help anyone?

Thanks for the
great tutorial on writing tutorials. I’m thinking of doing some on my blog so
this came about at the perfect time for me!
 

This is awful! the final three paragraphs aren’t even focused!

Consider reaching out to those amongst us who have the greatest need (disabled Veteran or inner city person for example) Listen to their needs and look for ways of satisfying them as I have done and not only is it rewarding $$$ it speaks to the our natural tendency to want to help those who want to help themselves… 

No.

Im a dentist! i just graduated and now i realize that i dont want it!!!! i dont know what i want!

please i really need help now.my name is samson,i am 20yrs old,i am a nigeria,and i have finished my high sch since 2010,and i want to play football,because i belived the way i play is the best.the truth is that i have always dream of traveling to usa to finished my sch and stay there  to play football,so that i can take care of my family and prove to the world that i can be useful .but i don’t have any money with me and i am the bread winner of our family.they all depends on me.and i am willing to do anything for the God sent person that will help me to accomplish my dream.i do small menial work.please for any help,reach me on my yahoo address:samsonghogho@yahoo.com or my facebook.:enrique samson.please i am waiting.God bless u all.

i somewhat disagree. sometimes knowing what you DONT want is actually a start, it narrows the number of paths you have to choose from. for instance, if youve never been a biology or business person, at least you know your options are probably technology or some other feild. it also helps if you research on the amount the work and hurdles that can get in your way toward a specific career. if youre ready to give  up before you even start and say “forget it ” chances are thats not the path for you

i somewhat disagree. sometimes knowing what you DONT want is actually a start, it narrows the number of paths you have to choose from. for instance, if youve never been a biology or business person, at least you know your options are probably technology or some other feild. it also helps if you research on the amount the work and hurdles that can get in your way toward a specific career. if youre ready to give  up before you even start and say “forget it ” chances are thats not the path for you

I think the main thing is to take action and choose the one you think you would like best, if it turns out that you don’t you can still change your decision and some of the skills you learnt will be useful in your new role too. It’s better to take action than waste years in limbo. By the way I don’t agree that conventional jobs necessarily always lead to wealth, if anything people have made a lot of money out of highly unconventional ideas. 

I really enjoyed your thoughts, thanks for sharing them.

im 17 , half orphan eh .. um like im into smokin weed and awl..depression is killing me inside .. im out from home for days .. i  just dont knw whats wrong with me . i was studyin high school .. just left it .. a golden chance … by gettin into friends awl .. i dont knw what to do … i   miss my dad alot .. and im going deeper and deeper in the path of destruction .. trusting ppl (friends ) caused meh destroyin up my self out there
……………

Imagine you having the ever biggest energy source at your hands and everybody is asking to for it, foes tray to intercept any kind of contacts but increasingly they loss the control about the swicht nodes and so comes to be a common question a common place and this is the end of the History of capital economy. more about

bussiness is a brain game is that true

Life may not be a competition, but unfortunately our economy definitely is. Doing what you love is probably one of the dumbest bits of advice out there. Doing what you love usually does not pay the bills. And that comes before everything else – having a roof over your head, food in the cupboards, means to get around, i.e. the ability to be self sustaining. Only a very few will have the luck to do what they love. The rest of us work to pay the bills, and there’s nothing wrong with that. People can do a good job and shouldn’t be expected to love their jobs. Reality is cold, but you still have to deal with it on its own terms.

personal wants or family welfare? which is which to go first?

personal wants or family welfare? which is which to go first?

if Dream is Strong No matter what facts comes betweeen to achive
this very easy tell , for this have go through lotts of pain,
No Pain No gain,
it’s so easy to define
if have a job  and looking for new job we will give very less time and
if don’t have a job we will wakup early morning and started finding in newspaper in all others net sides.
that’s big diffrence if you have some thing we will never give 100%  for this task to achive.
    

I think where your logic is flawed is assuming that there is only one thing that constitutes doing what you love, and that such a job is not going to pay the bills. People can find happiness in any number of things, and people can also pay the bills without slaving away at a job they detest.

Just a note to thank Dr.gboco for your recovery spell that you did for me and my family over the past few weeks. The spell has definitely listened and has given myself and my family, what we call a miracle. My Wife was able to retain her position at the company where she is employed after an extremely close call with the possibility of unemployment after eleven years.
This morning I was called and offered a Teaching position at a Christian School. I had taught many years ago at the public school level. We then moved to California and due to state regulations at the time I was not able to return to the classroom where my heart really was at.
As I sit and type this up I am just ecstatic …Praise the gods of Dr.Gboco and May God Bless You gbocotemple@yahoo.com Thank you very much.

frank, De and the three Girls

hahah, great blog. I googled “I can’t focus on studying. AM I TRYING TO FAIL” and I found this page. I’m a mature student and once found myself in Pete’s shoes. I initially majored in Kinesiology, then Political Science, then Economics (and didn’t complete a degree in any program, which is why I’m now a mature student I finally decided on sticking to one major and completing it whether I like it or not…I then thought, “what profession makes a lot of money?” Doctor- nah, I’m not science savvy, Lawyer-nah, I’m not sharp enough, Accountant-hey, that could work! I then set specific goals. 1. Get A’s in school. 2. Get into a Big 4 accounting firm. 2. Surround myself with smart students to network myself later for job opportunities. I’m currently on step 1 and am managing to get straight A’s going into 2nd year. In the words of Matthew Kelly,  “A goal without an action plan is a daydream”. Get specific about your goal and action it. That’s where you’ll begin to shine. Little improvements, day by day toward that goal gets you closer…. And after this rant->BACK TO STUDYING