We reside on a planet where cooperation is paramount to our success. When we cooperate with each other, our boss, our partner, our leaders or anyone else you have a relationship with; life will flow with ease. When we resist – our life experience feels out of control and complex.
First let’s define the word cooperation: An act or instance of working or acting together for a common purpose or benefit; joint action.
So why do we resist cooperating with each other?
Resistance comes from two places:
1. The need to be in control.
2. The false ego living itself out.
Most behaviors are subconscious programs that run on automatic pilot. We run them, we experience them, yet we don’t change them even when it’s apparent they no longer benefit us.
The False Self
The false ego or false self is the individual that the mind considers itself to be. Usually this fake self is not one of humility and togetherness – rather it is one of untold negative stories about itself and its experiences in life.
The false self needs to feel like the “King of the mountain” or the “Queen of the land” in order to feel safe and secure in this World.
The false self wants to be heard and be the center of attention. And the false self program is the one that creates all the problems in your life through self-sabotaging behaviors and patterns.
I’m not proposing you rid yourself of the ego. I think that would be impossible at the moment. Instead, become more aware of yourself, and your unconscious behavior, by being fully present in every moment to the best of your ability.
The point to remember is to not denounce yourself or your unconscious automatic behavior. Just observe and see if the behavior really serves a powerful purpose, or is it just the ego simply trying to get more attention.
Making the ego the enemy or believing you can win the fight against the ego won’t work. The ego will just come in through the back door when you do that. You can’t fight it and you will never win the fight against the ego, because as soon as you begin to fight the ego – you become part of it.
The ego isn’t actually the ego as you believe – the ego isn’t in reality the ego if you recognize it. If the ego is working inside of you – you wouldn’t even realize it.
The ego implies that you’re not even conscious of it. Individuals who have the largest egos don’t even know what the ego is.
They cannot acknowledge the ego as the ego. The instant you recognize the ego or see it, it’s no longer the ego anymore. What it is as soon as you recognize it – is just an old pattern of behavior. It is an unconscious program that runs in your body computer.
Once you realize you are behaving egoically – just by looking at it – you can start to dissolve its impact on you and your behavior. Some freedom will come to you by simply doing this one thing.
Laughing is an effective way to loosen the grip of the ego. When you see an egoic pattern in yourself, like when you need to express your opinion on something that may be non-relevant. You’ll be able to observe the egoic “want” to affirm or express the opinion that you believe you need to express.
Catch yourself – and say to yourself, “do I really want to say this now?” What could happen if I simply kept my thoughts, feelings, and opinions to myself?”
Just drop the egoic pattern that you identified and see how it feels inside of you. You may also feel somewhat reduced or lessened in the beginning because you have failed to assert yourself from the egoic viewpoint in that scenario.
Are you aware when you are in “ego mode” and what do you do to change these limiting patterns in yourself?
This post is written by Justin Mazza from Mazzastick Personal Growth blog. Be sure to sign up for his free newsletter and receive a copy of his latest eBook: The Personal Growth Handbook – Personal Development 101.