Too busy

Too Busy? Be Where Your Butt Is

We live in a world of distraction.

Billboards. Cell phones. Internet. Video games. Tv. Just to name a few.

We live amongst so much distraction that it’s easy to fall into a routine that allows days to go by and we don’t even realize we’re alive.

Often times busyness serves a purpose – it covers pain and frustration that may be present in life. You’ve likely done this before, something bad happens in your life (loss of a loved one, end of a relationship, losing a job) and to help you cope through the downturn you stay busy.

It’s understandable. Who wants to wallow in misery or pain?

The problem – what happens when the busyness fades?

What happens to the pain? Is it ever really confronted and felt?

If it’s not, this helps create a schedule filled with routine and tasks. It helps you become a “yes man” to everyone else because you lack the ability to say no to things you don’t want in your life.

It also creates robotic lives that allow days to go by without really feeling anything. No pain, frustration, or sadness – but also no pleasure, joy, happiness or passion.

I want to propose a way out of a busy existence.

A way in to the world around you.

A way in to relationships at a deeper level.

Do this:

Be where your butt is.

How many times do you find yourself in the midst of something, yet thinking of something else? Sitting at work daydreaming about the weekend. With a group of friends but texting other friends. Having dinner with your family but still mentally at work.

Establish times to disconnect in order to connect.

When you leave the office, leave it. Take the time to disconnect mentally before arriving home. Listen to good music on the way home. Walk. Read. When you get home, turn off the phone, don’t check your business email, leave the projects at work. The point is: when you are with your family, be with your family.

Don’t answer the phone.

When you are with others and your phone rings or vibrates or sings due to a call, text, email, IM, push notification, etc. – don’t answer it. Let voice mail do its job. Whatever it is can likely wait. There are truly very little “real” emergencies.

Turn away from the computer, TV, iPad.

There are times when you’re surfing, watching, or working and your spouse or kids approach you for something. Hit pause, close the laptop, put the device down completely and connect with them face to face. Look them in the eye. Listen. Connect. It probably will only take a few minutes then you can move back to what you were doing before. But spend the time with them – with them.

Create a no distraction zone.

Clear away the distractions so you can simply work. But what about the times you’re with the one you love? Fellas, when you’re with your wife, focus on her. Listen. Respond. Love.

And ladies, same advice.

There are many times I’ve been out with my wife and we see other couples out together, both on their phones texting or surfing. In fact, one family of three sat across from us on their phones the whole time and the only words spoken were to place their order.

Breathe.

Distractions most often keep us disconnected with the world around us, making us feel uneasy or alone or lost. Of all the species on the planet, humans are the only ones who speed up when they’re lost or anxious. Every other animal sits still until they get their bearings before proceeding where they want to go.

When you find you’re not where your butt is.

Breathe.

Disconnect.

Breathe.

Connect.

_______

Corey writes regularly about marriage and relationships on his site, Simple Marriage, which is full of laid back information sure to improve your relationships.

Photo credit: ‘Tornado’ by Big Stock

  • http://Mazzastick.com/ Justin Mazza

    So true Corey. We literally become zombie like when we live like this. A good idea is to take off your shoes and socks and walk barefoot outside. Not only does this connect the mind/body with nature but it grounds us in the present moment as well.

    • http://simplemarriage.net Corey

      I love the walk around barefoot in nature idea! 

      I also notice the tops of the trees as they sway in the breeze (Phenomenon movie reference). Helps find your pace.

    • http://simplemarriage.net Corey

      I love the walk around barefoot in nature idea! 

      I also notice the tops of the trees as they sway in the breeze (Phenomenon movie reference). Helps find your pace.

  • http://www.lifestyleupdated.com/ Slavko@LifestyleUpdated

    Your advice is right on the spot Corey. Living in the moment not only gives us focus, but it also gives us joy  in the way it teaches us to experience everything with more intensity. Thus we become more happy enjoying the moment more and more.

    • http://simplemarriage.net Corey

      What a great upward spiral. 

    • http://simplemarriage.net Corey

      What a great upward spiral. 

  • Vlad Behaviour

    I completely agree with the author. All the wisdom provided  is very demanded in our fast daily life.Moreover,this information,without doubts,could positively transform  someone’s existence on this planet.

  • Myavatar

    You are so right!! I like this article.

  • http://www.lukehavard.com/ Luke Havard

    Love this article Corey, you’ve hit the nail on the head! 

    There’s a vast contrast between the West and the East, and between the 1st world and the 3rd world! My wife is from Colombia, South America and one of the most incredible experiences I’ve had, was spending time in the slums with people who had nothing, but are richer than some of the wealthiest people I know! People need to slow down, before the things that really matter, are gone! Luke Havard | Life & Career coach

  • http://www.honestcollege.com/ college life

    Be where your butt is, great! Helps to not have your phone on you :)

  • Cam

    AWESOME advice….i am sending a copy to EVERYONE i know….including my kids cell phones…e-mail….facebook….IMs….Draw It…etc. accts…ha!

  • http://www.ab-mxr.com/ ab equipment

     Awesome blog.

  • http://www.facebook.com/jmpruitt75 James Pruitt

    really awesome tips. thanks for sharing. Being fully present when you are with your friends and family will help you to have a stronger bond. sadly this is missing in so many families these days, which is why they are falling apart. 

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  • http://organizetorevitalize.com Deb Lee

    Being in the moment can be tricky. There always seem to be a million things swirling in your head. Some of us even multitask when we’re watching TV…checking email or Twitter during the commercials. Thanks for these great reminders.

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  • theholts

    Jacke and Life Quotations show us that there are some butts that shouldn’t be where they are!

    I love this post, and will share it with my kids, who will share it with their friends, who will share it with their parents…

    My husband and I sat at a restraunt last night, a table away from 2 young couples on their way to prom. I was sad to see each of them texting pictures and messages throughout the entire meal. I prayed that they would run out of battery power, so they would actually talk.

    Thanks for the reminder to participate in my life. I suppose if I do it well enough, there might be someone else inspired to write about it, huh?!

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  • Suzie

    quite agree. It’s important to learn to switch off. if you have difficulty putting your devises away then maybe its time to make a few short term goals such as putting your devises away 2 nights a week and see how that goes. swtiching off gives you time to focus on what’s important in your life.

  • VJ McGregor

    The addiction of distraction is our greatest enemy in this mortal world.

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  • Maverick Juanico

    I agree with every word written here. I’ve lived a life doing multiple works at once. 

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