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How Your Dreams are Holding You Back (And What to Do About It)

Are your dreams secretly preventing you from living the life you REALLY desire?

Most people have dreams, but their dreams are holding them back. Dreams aren’t bad in and of themselves. In fact, dreams are great.

They only become a problem when you use them as an excuse. When you tell yourself that you could never go after your dreams, or that you don’t have the connections, money, or talent to do what you deeply desire.

Most people use their dreams as an excuse.

What you think you have to do to realize your dreams is often not the right path at all, and the dream you have right now may not even be the dream you really want.

You don’t know all the possibilities that exist, so you cannot possibly know what the best life for you is, can you?

Why Your Dreams Are Holding You Back

I have dreams.

You have dreams.

We all have dreams.

The problem is that many of the dreams we have block us from seeing all the other possibilities available to us. We put on blinders and focus only on what we think is right and we miss everything else.

Before I started my online business and began doing what I love, I had a predetermined path in my mind, and I thought it was the only way there.

The problem?

I didnít think I could walk that path, because I wasnít good enough, I didn’t have the connections necessary, and I was scared out of my mind.

Or, so I thought.

When you look at successful people, youíll often see that they got to where they are in an unconventional manner.

What’s really going on is that the concept that we call dreams is holding us back by limiting our perspective.

We have no idea of how our dreams will manifest, or if the dream we think we want is the one we’ll want five years from now.

The solution is to think smaller.

What to Do About It

Keep your dream in mind, but don’t get too attached to it. Instead, I’d like to invite you to enjoy the present moment a tad more than you have.

You have your plans, and you have your vision, which is fantastic, but now it’s time to return to the here and now.

The way you do this is by focusing on what the next smallest step is that you can take toward what you want.

You will know what the right next step is because it will feel good. For example, today I woke up and felt like writing this article. It felt good, so here I am.

Now, beware that you will sometimes be afraid of your next step. Another example from my life would be if I was creating my next product.

That generally scares me because Iím not sure if people will like it. However, the problem is that the step is too big. I need to break it down into smaller parts.

When I do that, it becomes something like this:

  1. Come up with a product title
  2. Research and outline the product
  3. Fill in ideas in the outline

Even those steps are too big, but can you see where I’m going with this? Itís not the task that scares us, but our thoughts about it. When you break things down, you can see yourself taking action.

What If You Donít Know What Your Next Step Is?

If you don’t know what your next step is, do nothing until you feel compelled to act.

Whenever I try to force myself to do anything, it doesnít end well. I almost feel like thereís a divine timing to everything. Iím not religious, but thatís how it feels.

Instead of forcing myself, I simply allow myself to rest in that space of not knowing. Itís not always easy, and often itís frustrating as hell, but thereís not much else I can do.

I could try to force progress, but it would just make me more miserable.

Iím at a point in my life where Iíve realized that thereís no rush to get anywhere. All I have to do is to enjoy the here and now.

Happiness comes from within me, not from out there. No goals, accomplishments, or dreams will make me happier than I allow myself to be.

This realization isnít always present, because like you, Iím human. Sometimes I hate life and the perceived obstacles in front of me, but thatís just how it goes.

Some days will be better than others.

But it always comes down to what you do with them.

Henri writes at Wake Up Cloud, where you can get his FREE life-changing course right now:†Find Your Passion in 5 Days or Less. And if you liked this article, you may like,†21 Things You Can Do to Change Your Life Forever.

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  • http://nochnoch.com noch

    i’m simply happy i can chase after my dream. i’ve come across many peopple, who don’t even know what their dream is or what they’d like to achieve. that’s just sad. dreams is a motivation. and guess what, i’m sure dreams do come alive!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Murali-Menon/1823481347 Murali Menon

    Thanks! It is an eye-opener!
    It’s nice to have just one dream and go after it, step by step. Sometimes one has multiple dreams and can’t decide which one to follow.
    Suppose, one’ll have to prioritise the dreams, perhaps, even eliminate some of them.

  • Adele

    I think our dreams hold us back in other ways too. Like subconsciously sabotaging our efforts to be good at something else because deep down we feel we don’t really want to succeed at anything that is not ‘our dream’!

  • kashyap

    generally people even dont know what really do they want in their life. we have tendency to get carried away with the hype created around us by the media. we hardly introspect for what we really want in life. Meditation really helps us to get to know about us.
    http://24x7meditation.blogspot.com/

  • Gina Williams

    I love the idea of “doing something small” today! That’s what I needed to hear. Great idea to make our dreams more practical!

  • http://www.clintcora.com Clint Cora

    It’s interesting about dreams since I’m sure that many of us were told to give up certain dreams when we were younger.  Now at my middle age, I’m starting to realize that I’m free to pursue whatever dreams I want especially now since I have picked up more effective ways to go after them.  I can now revisit some of the dreams I had when I was in my younger days and finally go after them again in a better way and one of the big differences now is that I learned that I don’t have to share these dreams with any of the naysayers.  These dreams are my own and I do with them as I please.

    I find that revisiting certain past dreams or at least modifications of them, lead to one’s life purpose and happiness.  Of course, not all past dreams might have been rational but I bet that everyone has a few that are still worth going after.

  • http://www.clintcora.com Clint Cora

    It’s interesting about dreams since I’m sure that many of us were told to give up certain dreams when we were younger.  Now at my middle age, I’m starting to realize that I’m free to pursue whatever dreams I want especially now since I have picked up more effective ways to go after them.  I can now revisit some of the dreams I had when I was in my younger days and finally go after them again in a better way and one of the big differences now is that I learned that I don’t have to share these dreams with any of the naysayers.  These dreams are my own and I do with them as I please.

    I find that revisiting certain past dreams or at least modifications of them, lead to one’s life purpose and happiness.  Of course, not all past dreams might have been rational but I bet that everyone has a few that are still worth going after.

  • http://Mazzastick.com Justin

    I have noticed too that when I set a specific goal that I tend to put blinders on and miss many other opportunities that are right in front of my face.

  • http://miniskirtninja.com miniskirtninja

    Henri,

    You touch on so many valuable points in this article. Fear
    is the great paralizer and action is the ultimate motivator. But, so often, the
    struggle lies in the transition. If we’re rendered frozen by thoughts of
    failure, but we know with certainty action is the answer, how do we begin? Just as you said, with small steps that aren’t
    attached to future developments.

    So often we want to jump from our present situation to the
    full-realization of our goals without realizing that the route is full of micro
    opportunities that can transform our dream from being a dingy open mic night to
    a rock concert with laser lights, explosions, and ten-thousand screaming fans. It
    is our attachment to the outcome that limits us.

    I have meandered through the inception, accomplishment and
    relinquishment of many dreams, ranging from thespian, to engineer, to
    architect, to graphic designer, to writer – and a few stops in between. And, in
    hindsight, I can see how each has prepared me for the next, overlapping each
    other like scales of a fish.

    The secret is doing things every day that make you feel good
    about who you are. It takes action to achieve dreams, but it also takes
    mind-mastery. If you like who you are, then the fearful thoughts that prevent
    you from taking action won’t have the death-grip-ninja-hold on you that they
    could have. Sometimes what makes me feel good about who I am has nothing to do
    with the goal I’m working towards, but ask me again in 5 years, it probably has
    everything to do with it.

    Thanks again!
    Ashley Welton

  • http://www.movies-tube.net Watch movies and tv series

    I agree. To achieve what you dreaming you have to go step by step and not try to do everything the same time. Small steps to build something big.  It is really eye-opener as a fellow reader said. Thanks

  • http://twitter.com/CoachMiTweets Mi Thian-De Wind

    “If you don’t know what your next step is, do nothing…….”  Many people get stuck at the “do nothing” stage and never get out.  I have found that it is helpful to include some exploration that is not directly related to the subject matter, doing things that expand the mind so that it is open to new ideas.  If one of these happens to be sitting in the “not knowing”, then finding some supportive people to sit with you (instead of judging you and egging you on).

  • http://www.online-japanese-lessons.net/ Skype Japanese Lessons

    Dreams sometimes are true?