Day 63: How to Make People Love You When You’re Not Around – Be A VIP!

What do people say about you when you’re not around?

A couple of years ago, when I first started blogging, I met this guy, David Fowler. He had started a parenting blog shortly after I did and we struck up a friendship. He’s a talented writer with a razor-sharp wit. Sure we teased each other back and forth, as guys tend to do, but I’ll say this about Dave, he’s one of the most honest, and genuine people I know.

And the funny thing is, that’s pretty much the opinion of anyone I run into who has “met” him (online).

Why is that?

Well, for one, Dave’s the kind of guy who offers to help you without being asked. He promotes your stuff when there’s nothing in it for him, and who is always there when you need someone to talk to. And he’s funny and charming, to boot.

The reason I bring Dave up is that I genuinely want Dave to be a HUGE success! He deserves it. He’s the nice guy you root for. He’s the down-to-earth and a caring family guy who can life your spirits or make you laugh with a comment or email.

He’s a VIP – A Volunteer Interested In People.

He’s someone who genuinely likes people, and who you, in turn, can’t help but like.

Now you see how I feel about Dave, right? Wouldn’t it be nice if everyone was a VIP? How awesome would this world be with everyone being nice to everyone, helping one another out?

Yeah, I know it will never happen. But, if you’d like people to love you even when you’re not around, then maybe you should learn some lessons on how a VIP does it.

Here’s some tips on how to make people say awesome things about you.

Be yourself. Most VIPs I’ve known are authentic people. They don’t hide their flaws, and in fact, oftentimes, use them to their advantage – their little colorful quirks. Be yourself and true to your principles, and you’ll work your way into the hearts of people who recognize and appreciate the real you.

Ask about others. Ever have a conversation where you knew the other person was just going through the motions? They didn’t ask logical follow-up questions, which proved they either weren’t paying attention, or worse, they didn’t care about you. I don’t know about you, but that leaves a horrible impression on me. I’m more likely to think well of the person who hung on my every word, or at least seemed interested in what I was saying. It’s human nature – people like people who like them!

Be complimentary. This kind of goes with the above section. But saying nice things is one of the quickest ways you can endear yourself to others. I’m not saying to be a big phoney about it. Nobody wants to feel like you’re blowing smoke up their rears. Find something genuinely nice to say, and say it.

Remember the details. Try to remember the projects people told you about, the names of their spouses or children, the fact that they have a Beagle. If you can’t remember, try and take notes and brush up on the facts before meeting the person. Remembering the details that most people forget immediately puts you above most people.

Offer your help. When a VIP meets someone, they don’t ask favors or inquire about things for themselves. They offer their assistance. This isn’t just good advice for being well thought of, but also sage networking advice. If you’re looking to form a relationship or work with someone, try to know what their needs are in advance, and suggest how you can help them meet those needs. Then, when an opportunity for someone like you pops up, who is that person more likely to offer it to? The person that helped them, of course!

Promote others’ interests. Be a champion for other people and their causes. Be a cheerleader! Talk about the good things other people are doing. Not only does this help spread the word to interested people, but it also makes you look like a VIP! When you have something you’re looking to promote, people will likely offer to help you without you even needing to ask.

Don’t trash other people. This should probably go without saying, but I’ll say it anyway. If you’re trashing other people, it’s not likely to reflect well on you. Because if you’re talking badly about a mutual friend to me, I can only imagine what you’d say to another friend about me.

Be positive (or at least entertaining). Nobody wants to be around someone who is always miserable. Be cheerful, or at least be entertaining or interesting, and people can’t help but think highly of you.

There is no set of instructions to make ALL people love you, of course. But adopting some of these ideas into your relationships could improve not just the lives of others, but your life as well.

Got any suggestions for becoming a VIP? Please share them with us in the comments!

David Wright is a ghostwriter who is chronicling his year in self improvement at Project 30 Days starting in January.