Nobody likes making mistakes. But, unless you want to go through life as a complete recluse, you are guaranteed to make one every now and them. If you learn from mistakes correctly, they can propell will you forward.
You must also realise that mistakes are an essential part of self improvement. Don’t be overwhelmed with guilt and regret, analyze how you can learn from them.
Apologise with Dignity
If you’ve made mistakes that harm other people, it is important to offer a dignified apology. Be clear that it was an unfortunate incident that will not be repeated. A good apology can go along way to restoring trust.
If you don’t apologize, out of embarrassment or unwillingness, the offended person will hold it against you. If your apology is sincere, the other person is likely to forgive you.
It is more effective to apologize in person, rather than through a curt email. However, once you have apologised, it is mistake to repeatedly say sorry for the same mistake. Some people keep apologising over and over again. This becomes irritating. It is better to sincerely apologize once and then move on.
Don’t be a Perfectionist
If you go through life afraid to make a mistake, you’ll spend most of your life doing absolutely nothing. There is no harm in making mistakes, it is an essential part of going forward. The more responsibility you take on, the more likely you will make mistakes.
If you feel the need to avoid mistakes at all costs, it becomes a psychological barrier to taking risks. If you make a mistake, don’t retreat into a shell.
Don’t Waste Time Trying to Justify Mistakes
Unfortunately, it is our natural instinct to try to justify our actions. When you make a mistake, theinitial reaction is to blame someone else.
“Yes, I drove my car into the wall, but it was all my partners fault for distracting me with her incessant gossiping…”
When mistakes are made, the boss is unlikely to be interested in justifications. We justify mistakes for the sake of our ego. Sometimes it is best to say, very simply — yes, I made a mistake.
Understand Why The Mistake Occurred
Mistakes occur for various reasons. To avoid repeating them, you need to understand the underlying reason.
For example, you may have spoken in anger and haste; the mistake here is to say unkind words. However, what led you to be angry in the first place? Perhaps you were chronically tired, or perhaps you were nursing an unrelated grievance. If you make mistakes because you are permanently tired, try to get more sleep; if you are permanently stressed, look at ways to relax and detach from the stress of work.
Avoid Repeating Mistakes
You should avoid feeling guilty about making mistakes, but at the same time, you should make a resolution to learn from them. If you repeat the same mistakes, it shows you aren’t making progress and causes repeated suffering.
Often mistakes are caused by bad habits. To avoid making the same mistakes you need to break these bad habits. This requires careful consideration and sustained effort to change your way of thinking. However, the sooner you change your habits, the sooner you will avoid making the same mistakes.
Mistakes are Opportunities to Learn
From your own mistakes you can gain wisdom and accelerate self-improvement. Mistakes, because of their relationship with risk taking, are essential to success. The important thing is to view mistakes as a useful stepping stone to a higher reality and better outlook on life.
Tejvan Pettinger is a member of the Sri Chinmoy Meditation Centre. He lives in Oxford where he works as a teacher. He enjoys writing and updates a blog called Sri Chinmoy Inspiration, a collection of articles on self improvement. Recent articles include: Finding Inspiration to Write on Self Improvement.
Learning from your mistakes is always a good thing, but when two or more parties are involved, then their egos are also usually involved too.
In order for another person to learn from their mistakes, you must provide an opportunity for them to admit that they are wrong, while also allowing them to save face. This is always a tricky thing
Very true. Your comments reminds me of a previous post about Resolving Conflicts Quickly and Peacefully.
The basic message is to sacrifice your own ego for the sake of a peaceful resolution.
I think it’s importnat to look at this from the other side as well, i.e. being the person who’s been wronged.
In that regard, it’s really important not to hold grudges or try to get even because doing so only hurts yourself.
Understand that everyone’s human and that making mistakes is a part of that. It’s nothing to get stuck on.
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Pick the Brain rules, ur my day to day guide to self improvemtn great job, look forward to tommoros email
[...] How to Learn From MistakesIt’s no empty truism to say we learn most from the mistakes we make, but sometimes it’s hard to see how. Tejvan Pettinger at PickTheBrain guides you through the process of making the most of mistakes.Tags: mistakes self-improvement advice [...]
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learn from the mistakes of others too – not just yourself.
people need a shoulder to cry on, so get something our of it
Amazing post Tejvan,
No matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never ever lose your value. You are special. Don’t ever forget that – ‘Never let yesterday’s disappointments overshadow tomorrow’s dreams’. Failure is the stepping stone to huge success. Learn how to change your thinking to change your life.
dear peter,
yes, we have to look forward and believe, learn from the mistake to make us stronger and keep us special
This is a great post. Failing Forward…
-Jeff Milincheck
http://www.r2rprofits.com
[...] How to Learn from Mistakes – [...]
[...] How to Learn from Mistakes – [...]
[...] with children who have anger problems is challenging and requires thought and imagination. A child’s mind is as a rule not [...]
This is good information about learning from mistakes. I believe fully in learning from mistakes. I believe a big part of learning from mistakes is also knowing what mistakes can be made in a given situation, deciding what a mistake really is, getting input from other people on your mistakes, gaining confidence to eliminate fear of mistakes, and using the knowledge gained from mistakes to do better next time.
Couple things I missed: accept that you will make mistakes and that you are not perfect. Look at the mistakes of others and be proactive in your decision making. Gain as much focus as you can.
P.P.S. Accept the decisions and mistakes of others. This will ease stres and conflict in your life and theirs.
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yes.
[...] This is a good article that deals with our theme here. It was written by Oxford Professor Tejvan Pettinger, and can be found on Pickthebrain.com [...]
HI EVERY ONE LOL
[...] every mistake I make I don’t see it as a bad thing, but rather as a time to learn and grow. Learning what not to do in the future. I have learnt how to get the respect and trust [...]
Mistakes when dealing with people, strangers, co-workers, family etc. etc. leave scars that takes much time, if ever, to heal, even with prayer. Mistakes of hitting your finger with a hammer & blowing out the tip, repairs itself, over time. a big difference between the two mistakes. So says Cleo Powers
I personally made so many mistakes in the last few weeks by building up on lies and wanting people to believe me because I did not want to dissappoint them. The day that I actually told the truth no one believed me and because of that I lost the man I was planning on to marry and whom I loved so much, but I hurt him so bad and I lost my parents trust and it’s not the first time. Please tell me things will be oky aventually because it’s hurting soooooo bad. and I’m sooo very sorry.