“People say I’m indecisive, but I don’t know about that.” – George Bush
“Ummm… I’m not sure…” We all suffer from indecision at times. If we are not careful, this can become a debilitating problem which feeds on itself. Indecision is often related to lack of self confidence and a tendency to worry about potential problems. To overcome indecision we need to have the faith to follow our intuition, bearing in mind that sometimes it is not what we do, but rather how we do things that is important.
Both Options Can Work
“Indecision is often worse than wrong action.” – Henry Ford
Sometimes we feel that it is of vital importance to choose the right course of action. We feel that one choice must be the ‘right’ one and the other option ‘wrong’. However, this is often a mistake. What is important is how we make use of our choices. Maybe we have a choice between going to two different places; as long as we have the right attitude we can cultivate happiness wherever we go. If we are constantly worrying about our decision, then we will not be able to enjoy life even if we choose the so called ‘right action’.
I know a friend who regrets a choice he made at age 21 (not getting a certain job). He blames this for unhappiness in is life 15 years later. This is a mistake as the choice is much less important than he thinks; life is what we make of it and is not just about making the ‘right choices’. Don’t fret about making the perfect choice; just retain the best attitude to wherever life might take you.
Generate Self Confidence
Indecision often occurs because we lack self confidence and doubt our abilities. Perhaps we would like to take a trial for a sports team, but we fear whether we are good enough. The internal debate becomes about whether we should risk taking the trial. In this case, we should not be worrying about our potential limitations. Instead, we should follow our instinct – we have much less to lose than our mind would admit. If we ignore our misplaced anxieties, it will be easier to follow new choices, without worrying about whether it is worth taking the step.
Don’t Worry About What Others Expect You To Do
Related to the previous point is the concern about what others may think of our decisions. We all face choices where our instinct is to go one way, but then we worry about what people will think of our decision. We can take the advice of other people, but, if we really feel one course of action is the right choice, that is what we should do. Don’t give too much importance to the opinions of society; it is your life, not theirs.
Speak With A Friend
Sometimes the indecision can go round our mind in circles, creating a downward spiral of indecision. When this occurs it is good to discuss the problem with a trusty friend. We should not ask the friend to choose for us. But, talking about the issue will help to clarify the problem and get a better perspective; once we have done this it will be easier to choose.
You Won’t Regret Being Kind
If you are having difficulties choosing, consider your motives. Sometimes we want to take a selfish approach, but, some inner conscience is holding us back creating indecision. In these circumstances, we will not regret being kind to others, but, if we act only for our self interest then we often will.
Set Priorities
In life there are always things that we won’t have time to do. We can’t do everything nor should we try. What is important is to have a clear idea of our priorities – family, relationships, our inner life, sport or whatever. When we are faced with decisions, we can quickly refer to our priorities. Maybe your boss wants you to work overtime – the extra money would be nice, but, if you are clear about prioritizing your family life then it will be much easier to immediately say no. It is not possible to have the best of all worlds. We cannot expect to dedicate everything to our career and also spend quality time with our friends and relatives.
Nothing Ventured Nothing Gained
Sometimes we become indecisive because our mind is worrying over all the potential problems. Rather than looking at the problems consider the opportunities. An indecisive mind will always pick up on drawbacks of decisions. Focus on the potential of the situation and this will help make your more decisive; when an opportunity comes along go for it.
Tejvan Pettinger lives in Oxford where he writes on issues of self improvement and self development. He updates a blog Sri Chinmoy Inspiration. Recent blog posts include Listening to the Inner Voice.
Image by DerrickT.
study long, study wrong. the longer you take to make a decision, the worse it can get.
What is it about parents and teachers that makes them want to punish us for making bad decisions? By the time we get out of high school, we feel that every decision is so important that the rest of our lives depend on it. “Neglected to take the right electives in high school or participate in the right extracurricular activities? Well, then you’ll never get into the right college, to get into the right law school, to get into the right law firm, and your whole life is ruined!” No wonder we’re so afraid to take a wrong step!
All those negative thoughts replay in our brains like a broken record thousands of times a day, making it difficult for us to break free from our indecision. However, there are ways to train ourselves to better, healthy habits of thinking. I write about how at http://shanelyang.com/2008/06/18/10-harmful-thoughts/ and http://shanelyang.com/2008/06/27/50-negative-v-positive-thoughts/
“Until you’ve lost your reputation, you never realize what a burden it was.” – Margaret Mitchell
I think this captures the idea of making up your own mind!
To me, indecision is a like a mini-depression. Once you’re in it, it seems like it will never end. Also, no advice given can instantly wake you out of it. It will either pass by itself or you’ll change as a result of much effort.
Good article, many things explaned about decisions making which realy help, their is one more thing that we do right or wrong decision our desired to be make good out of it & things which to happen that will sure happen what ever we try, like some times we takes decision which we thinks that how I taken that decision however I know that its wrong, so what ever decision we take happy in it & give to our best service to it.
Good article – lots of good advice.
Indecision is a decision, it’s just not one we make purposefully and is a do-nothing approach. I think that at times we believe that when we make a decision, and it turns out to be wrong, that it’s “game over” – but it’s not. It’s a different game with new decisions to be made. Understanding that we can handle whatever comes our way relieves stress and is empowering. It allows us to move forward by choice, not by default.
Indecision is directly affecting my life, in a very much negative way. Since leaving school I have made little progression in my life in terms of my career choices, so far I have been in two jobs and attended three different colleges, and I still feel like I need to change.
[...] another great Tejvan Pettinger piece he discusses indecision: “Ummm… I’m not sure…” We all suffer from indecision at times. If [...]
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