how to build self esteem

How to Build Self Esteem Forever

Posted on October 23, 2010 by Dia | CATEGORIES: self improvement

Self-esteem is the way you judge and look at yourself.  Some people believe that their appearance will enhance their level of self-esteem, but in reality, having high self-esteem comes from the ability to see yourself special and unique all the time.

Do you see yourself as special and unique?  Do you have high self-esteem?  Do you love yourself?

No?

Here is a quick 5-point guide to build self esteem when you forget how great you are:

1.  Believe in your inner beauty

Don’t say to yourself that you are not beautiful nor unique.  Know that every person is unique and true gift to the world.  There is no one on earth like you and you have a lot to offer to humanity.

2.  Believe in your mind power

Know that the way you see yourself comes from the power of your thoughts and mind.  Use your mind power and the power of your thoughts to develop love for yourself.  Once you begin to see yourself as unique, people around you will begin to see you in the same way.

3.  Focus on your positive qualities

You have to realize that you as a human being have good and positive qualities, so begin to focus on what you have going for you instead of focusing on your negative qualities.  Always surround yourself with people who think you are beautiful and who enjoy your company and your positive qualities.  Focusing on your positive attributes and surrounding yourself with positive friends will help you better accept yourself and hence build your self esteem.

4.  Overcome your negative habits

If you have a negative habit that you don’t like, make plans to get rid of it.  Once you substitute your negative habit with a positive one, your self-esteem will improve.

5.  Compliment yourself

Compliment yourself on what you like about your looks, your positive attributes, and every time you do something right and nice for yourself and others.  Do this each and every day until it becomes a habit.

Always remember what Anna Freud said, “I was always looking outside myself for strength and confidence but it comes from within. It is there all the time.”

Dia is the founder of 2 Achieve your Goals and is a freelance contributor to many national self improvement blogs.

  • http://www.SteveScottSite.com Steve@Lifestyle Design

    Dia!

    5 very important steps to building up self esteem! People underestimate the power of self esteem, It is important to feel good about yourself because what you feel is often what people give the the world, and what people give equals what they get back.

    What this means is that once people get some self esteem it can build on itself. But it takes those important first 5 steps you pointed out of highlighting your good and not beating yourself up over the bad to make it work.

  • Pingback: How to Build Self Esteem Forever « 2achieveyourgoals.com

  • Pingback: Tweets that mention How to Build Self Esteem Forever | PickTheBrain | Motivation and Self Improvement -- Topsy.com

  • http://itellyoutruths.blogspot.com My Reverie

    Dia,

    Thank you for this very inspirational piece. I found myself nodding to the key points that you’ve laid out. And that quote by Anna Freud is something I can very well relate to. =)

  • http://hanofharmony.com The Vizier

    Hi Dia,

    I like this short guide to building self-esteem.

    The points that resonate with me are:

    2. Belief in your mind power

    This is very important because if you do not believe in yourself and your mind, your self-esteem will always remain low.

    4. Overcome your negative habits

    As we rid ourselves of our negative habits, this will definitely work towards improving our self-esteem as there are less negative things in our lives to bring us down.

    One other point I wish to raise about building self-esteem is to focus on the solutions instead of the problem. From personal experience, I have found that when I actively channel my energy in such a manner, I get a greater sense of self-worth. This is because I am finding ways to resolve my challenges and in doing so, I do not give myself too much time to waste on unproductive brooding and worrying.

    Thanks for sharing!

  • Pingback: How to Build Self Esteem Forever | Lumpuckeroo | Overcoming Lumpuckeroo - Self Improvement

  • http://rcayao.com/ rcayao

    Hi, I love this post. I agree with your 5-point guide to build self-esteem. I really appreciate it. thanks for sharing this.

  • http://lindahewett.wordpress.com Linda

    Thanks for this Dia. I was nodding as I read through this too.
    The one I find hardest is paying myself a compliment. I tend to be critical when I look in the mirror or when I have written something. I have to learn that to be ‘good enough’ is fine. Who knows, I may be ‘better’ tomorrow!

  • http://blog.abhayamedia.com Women Happiness Magazine

    Indeed, self esteem reflects back to our beliefs and values. When we strongly believe in our own abilities, we can achieve even the impossible. One can build solid self esteem over a period by building healthy and broad mind. Unfortunately, many people suffer low self esteem thus living a less than fulfilling lives.

  • teja

    hi!
    I loved reading this article.Self Esteem is such an important factor in life.Very nice way of presenting the article.

  • http://www.theemotionmachine.com Steven

    Great post Dia! Nice to see you at PicktheBrain.com. Self-esteem to me is about feeling capable even in the face of uncertainty. We got to be careful though, because if we try to picture ourselves as perfect or ideal we will definitely set ourselves up for failure. That’s not what self-esteem is about, I think it comes with a certain degree of modesty.

  • http://budurl.com/jhcj Kirstine Vergara

    Thanks for this. While it is important to look inside you, it also helps if someone will give you a pat on the back. The people around contributes to your self-esteem. We can’t just always say to ourselves that we’re doing great; we sometimes need affirmation from others.

    Sharing with you a great article on Self-Improvement =)

  • http://www.alternaview.com Sibyl – alternaview

    Dia: Really good post. It is so easy to fall into the trap of working against yourself and having limiting beliefs about yourself. I think it is important to have a solid approach that allows you to work at improving your self esteem. It really is a process and you have to take it one step at a time. These tips are all very helpful and will help to continue you move in the right direction.

  • http://www.2achieveyourgoals.com Dia

    Thank you Steve, Shanaz, the vizier, rcayao, Linda, women happiness magazine, teja, Steven, Kristine, and Sibly, for your kind words. I’m glad you enjoyed the article :)

  • http://justindupre.com Justin Dupre

    Dia,

    Awesome post dude! My fav are number 3. Focus on your positive and 4 Overcome your negative habits.

  • http://www.asparkstarts.com Frank

    Outstanding work Dia. This was awesome. I am excited to be able to build and maintain positive self esteem forever. 5 quick tips that go straight to the point.

  • http://www.2achieveyourgoals.com Dia

    Thanks Justin and Frank :)

  • Pingback: Best Money Tips: Boost Your Self-Esteem | Finance Blog

  • http://www.sheddingthecorporatebitch.com Bernadette Boas

    Dia,
    just found your blog…. love it.

    I love this posting as anything regarding self-esteem hits home all of the time. I resonate with point 5….every morning I wake and tell myself that “I am a healthy, wealthy, and strong woman’. It is amazing what that does to my psyche all day….. fantastic.

    Thank you for the reminder of how to keep up the self-esteem

  • http://www.2achieveyourgoals.com Dia

    Hi Bernadette,

    Glad you liked the post :) Thank you

  • http://enlightr.com Craig Thomas

    Interesting post, different take than normal. Focusing on positive outcomes is my personal favourite and something I really like to enjoy. :)

  • http://www.selfesteemaffirmations.com k c

    very interesting and useful info here. Thanks for sharing. There’s a lot of people out there in the world with some self-esteem issues, and it is something that needs addressing. Cheers.Self Esteem Affirmations

  • Laurence D. Mason

    Self esteem is not something that can be easily taught. Liken it to enlightenment, self esteem, self love and belief are truths that must be found within one’s self. It is possible to learn the “behaviours” and in a way, mimic these emotions to appear happy. However the true understanding must come simply from life experience, going away and thinking a lot. 
    My article focuses on living optimistically, which is of course, intrinsically linked with self belief. So it’s a start for those wishing to raise their consciousness. Practise practise practise. 

    http://www.thehappinessmanual.com/how-to-be-optimistic-living-with-gratitude/

  • http://flawlessconfidence.com Martin

    I’m surprised that you didn’t include self-improvement. Accepting yourself and focusing on your positive qualities works, but if you want to truly build your self-esteem, you have to improve your value. And the best way to do it is to constantly improve yourself, constantly reinvent yourself and learn something new. Every day try to be better than you were yesterday. That will improve your self-esteem permanently!

  • http://www.self-esteem-tips.com/ Self Esteem Tips

    Truly great advice, Dia. Self-confidence really makes for a happier, healthier life. It’s something most of us struggle with to some degree. I certainly have had my experiences with it, but I’m doing my best to challenge my comfort zone and improve my self-concept. 

    I’m especially putting into practice your advice of not shying away from people, being encouraging to others, and putting my creative abilities to good use.

  • http://www.greathomeremedies.com/ Home Remedies

    Don’t wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions. So what. Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident and more and more successful. 

  • anon

    le sigh,
    Obviously i’m here for a reason, this article caught my attention, i’m always trying to seek out help.. in a mannerly fashion of course, although i feel as if i’m a hopeless case.
    I realize i have low self esteem, and hardly any confidence, and from many different sources most of them come to a similar statement or two.
    I don’t know how to go about this, for one, i can admit i do hold some sort of beauty, i’m not as flawless as i’d like but i also realize, no one is. Then there’s that unique thing… about that, i honestly do not find anything interesting, or different or unique about myself, that stand out in any way then any other human… i come up short. 
    This in itself is a major issue. 
    Also how are you supposed to develop love for yourself when you can’t even feel special or unique, and i constantly let myself down for not having enough confidence to do certain things.
    Again, it’s hard for me to even look in the mirror and try to think about a good quality in myself, i rack my brain with question after question, asking myself am i this, can i do this, do i do this? and most of the answers are no. 
    I mean a good quality in myself… i finish high school. 
    I know basic English, i know how to diddle around a computer a bit..
    i mean come on, how pathetic.
    For number four, other then procrastination, i don’t really have a negative habit…
    and i don’t deem my utter lack of confidence  which causes me to be constantly  hard on myself as a habit. 
    For number five, it’s just as hard as number 3. Trying to find something to compliment yourself… yeah, i don’t know how many times i get all dressed up and go out and i feel good, and ready for once, then something comes along and throws it back in my face, like i can never come out on top. 

    and i guess this is me “venting”

    But i will say one thing though, i do go out of my way for people, i try to be a good friend, and yes, like many other stories it goes disregarded.
    I don’t care about the thank you’s, it’s the fact that everyone takes advantage is what kinda bothers me.

  • Vida_fatemi

    it isn,t easy as u write ,need time and passion.i ,ll  try my best!

  • http://alazanski.com/ alazanski

    I completely agree with everything above, but there’s a difference between reading this article and actually building self-esteem. I’ve personally tried many different ways of building self esteem and I have to say, that it really is much easier said than done.

    The first thing you have to remember when building self-esteem (or self-confidence, or anything for that matter) is to actually start! You’d be surprised how many people forget the very first, starting.

    Once started, there are several things you can do to build your self-esteem. You can start a success journal for one. A success journal is basically a list of your previous achievements, both big and small-ones. I can’t say why this technique works as well as it does, all I can say is try it!

    You can also list your positive qualities. The key with both exercises is to keep the pen moving. Don’t stop writing. This way you’ll fill your mind with positive images of both your past achievements and your positive qualities. Ergo, better self-esteem.

    Just try it, you never know …

  • Templar

    ‘Surround yourself with people who think you are beautiful’. Right then, time to put my head in the gas oven. Even the jerk in the mirror can’t help me out there.

  • Pingback: Özgüven formülü: “Ben tekim!”