You feel awkward when around people. You don’t know what to say and you can’t help but think what others are thinking about you.
As much as you want to be friendly to those around you, you end up becoming “that guy” (or girl), the socially awkward one who ends up standing on the outskirts of the crowd.
And you’re wondering if others are talking behind your back or thinking how weird you are… never to be invited to gatherings again.
Does this sound like you?
As easy as it may seem for some, not everyone is able to socialize and make friends. You’d think as we age, it may get easier, but for some it’s a real problem. They just plain don’t know what to do or how to act around unfamiliar people.
For some, it might not even be about self-confidence. They simply lack the knowledge in the practical steps they must take in order to feel comfortable in an unfamiliar setting.
Of course, there are those who are insecure. Even the old motto, “Be yourself” doesn’t work for them because they simply lack sef-confidence.
I’ve had my own share of insecurities and the experience of feeling like an outcast. When I was young, I was proud of being weird, and just plain clueless!
Still today, I may not be the most popular guy, but I’m pretty confident being who I am and I am fine in any social setting.
Here’s a little guide I came up with, in both practical ways to meeting people and bolstering up your confidence:
1. Know that you can’t please everyone in life
First all, it’s important to know that you can’t please everyone.
In fact, try to do so won’t help you much in any way.
Don’t lower your standards or ignore your values just to seem more personable or friendly.
In the end, it’s not worth it.
First, just relax and meet people and see if there’s chemistry. If there isn’t, move on.
2. Sometimes you just have to go with the flow
As diificult as this may seems for some…Maybe this is a somewhat counter-productive piece of advice, but sometimes, you just got to go with the flow of the group even if you disagree with something.
The reason is that nobody likes a wet blanket. By disagreeing with something or wanting things your way, you may come across as selfish.
Everyone definitely has their own set of values and likes, but sometimes, to fit in, you got to let loose a little.
3. Don’t try too hard.
When you try too hard, people can tell.
When that happens, people will lose respect for you and probably start to find you annoying.
Again, this is where you relax and simply try to see if there’s chemistry with whoever you meet. If there isn’t, stop.
It’s okay. Go meet someone else. You guys don’t have to be the best of friends anyway.
4. Be willing to apologize
When you’re wrong, be a man and admit it.
Humble yourself, and apologize.
People will lose respect for you if you don’t do a thing about it all when you’re obviously in the wrong.
Not only would people respect you for trying to right a wrong, they would like you for your willingnss to show you’re flawed.
5. Above all else, it boils down to your manners
Something basic, yet surprisingly a lot of people lack.
Have your “Please” and “Thank you” ready and you’d do fine.
It’s this foundation in meeting people that people can relate to and remember you for. And this is absolutely true in life.
Why? Because Nobody likes a rude person.
Just five little tips.
They can go all the way when applied correctly, for both your mind and your actions. In life, you definitely meet a lot of people, so you got to be flexible, but it’s these basics I feel would help in the long run.
Head over to Alden Tan, drop in your email address and I’ll send this course over to you.
-Find out how to gain the confidence to do what you love.
-Learn how to talk to others and be yourself.
-A comprehensive list of things you can tell yourself, to be yourself!
This email course is only available through this link to Alden-Tan. Thanks for giving it a chance!
Photo credit: ‘Friendship‘ by Big Stock