Nobody said change was easy. That’s why most people don’t do it. But there is a deeper reason behind why it is hard that if understood, will lead you to take action that will bring you new habits and sustainable results.
When you evolve and grow as a person you start with: 1) VALUES which create 2) ATTITUDES which create 3) BEHAVIORS. For example, when you were a young child you valued having friends, trusted all people and behaved openly. Then through some unpleasant experiences on the playground you learned that not everyone is trustworthy on the same level so
you behaved by choosing friends that were consistently nice to you.
Here is a career example: You value your job so your attitude is that you want your boss to notice you in order to advance so you behave by working long hours to be noticed.
When you want to change your internal culture the process must move in reverse, which is unnatural, making it much more difficult. You must start with: 1) NEW BEHAVIORS which will create 2) NEW ATTITUDES which will create 3) NEW VALUES.
Career example: You don’t want to work long hours anymore because it has taken a toll on your family so you want to change your internal culture by starting with a behavior. You will stop working longer and begin working SMARTer. You will change your behavior by setting SMART weekly goals that are broken down into SMART daily goals. Remember SMART Goals are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Results Oriented and Time Framed. Don’t
worry about changing your attitude and values – that will happen on its own. You will find that your attitude will change when your boss notices how your own self discipline has made you more productive – a smart adjustment on your part without any coaching. You start to help colleagues with goal setting and you begin to value how goal setting is not only a precursor to
achievement but also to leadership and a better quality of life.
If you want to change – just act. Do something differently. Don’t worry about the feelings behind it. They will follow.
In the words of Henry Ford…
“If you think you can do a thing or think you can’t do a thing, you’re right.”
“Business is never so healthy as when, like a chicken, it must do a certain
amount of scratching around for what it gets.”
“I am looking for a lot of men who have an infinite capacity to not know what
can’t be done.”
“If money is your hope for independence you will never have it. The only real security that a man will have in this world is a reserve of knowledge, experience, and ability.”
There are a couple of key factors that get in the way of change. Watch out for them because they will become excuses that will lead to self-paralysis.
These key Leadership Obstructers are:
1) Guilt and Worry We guilt about the past and worry about the future. Both are useless emotions because we can’t change the past and worrying never changed the future for anybody. Action and goal setting change the future.
2) Blame and Complain We blame and complain about whatever we can so as not to take responsibility for changing behaviors. It’s easier being a victim.
Did any of the above Leadership Obstructers ever make you happier or did they simply take you farther away from a healthy life balance? What behaviors will you change to move your life forward? Act! Start now!
Mary Lee Gannon is a leadership and productivity expert as well as author of “Starting Over – 25 Rules When You’ve Bottomed Out.” She went from being a stay-at-home mother with four children to divorce, poverty and then on to become a president and CEO. Visit her web site at www.StartingOverNow.com
Related Articles:
How To Be Happy At Work:Employee Motivation
How To Increase Your Will Power
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Really, really good advice. It took me a long time to re-discover my values – it can be a long process. But it is important to remember that when you DO make these changes, which lay at the very root of your life, it makes life exponentially better.
The Ford quote is amusingly important and meaningful, and will give me much to consider. The structure of behavior attitude values is quite an interesting internal architecture as well thanks for sharing it.
I think the key to understanding change is… change itself. If you want to change something in your life then you’ll have to change your habits otherwise nothing would change.
great advice. When it comes to change, I like the idea of starting small.
that’s a very important topic , thanks for providing answer to that ever being asked question
Everyone want change,even small child also want change.Everyone bore with routine work.Real fact is tahat we want change and afraid to change. We always live in paradoxical position.We are afraid to change because what is hidden in change we donot know.Is change harmful or good that we donot know. How can we know future is good or bad?My observation is that in critical condition we decide to change, in good condition we are afraid to change.You accept or not change is part and parcel of life.Those who dare to change they may get success or failure, it depend on you to gamble on this play.
I like your writing. I want to share with you and everybody here about Adam Khoo. One of his ebook is also about creating value, more value means higher appreciation. Another great book written by Adam Khoo is Master Your Mind Design Your Destiny which is actually his own experience how he can change from being an all out underachiever into a millionaire at age 26.
I hope this book can inspire all of us. Here is the link http://tinyurl.com/ybcd638
To your success
I believe one of the keys that is crucial is to take any action, no matter how small, in the direction that we want to go. Once we take that small action, the momentum will build.
But, as you said, we need to be aware of any self-limiting beliefs. Because the moment we start moving forward, our subconscious belief system can sabotage us, unless we are willing to change those beliefs to be consistent with who we need to become/be in order to achieve our new goals.
Very cool concept!http://tinyurl.com/yfxlq3z
Hi, Just a quick email to say your sites not showing correctly on the wmo6.5.
[...] Change–here’s how [...]
[...] Change-here’s how! [...]
Mary,
I really enjoyed your article and think you made some really great points. I particularly like the part where you went into how destructive blame is. One of the most proactive, positive, and life-affirming things we can do is take responsibility for our lives. When we recognize that our choices have led us to where we are we not only become leaders, we become conscious creators. I recently read a book by Andy Feld called,’Wake Up! Your Life is Calling.’ I mention this book because the author believes that self-responsibility is probably the most important value we can employ if we desire a happy successful life – I think he and you are right.
thanks for listening,
Kim
@ Kim McGinnis
Self-Responsibility is the same as Be Proactive mentioned by Sean Covey and his father Stephen Covey in their book 7 Habits.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0684856093?ie=UTF8&tag=amatedigitpho-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0684856093” rel=”nofollow”
Habit 1 BE PROACTIVE
“I am the force.”
Take responsibility for your life.
Being proactive is more than taking initiative. It is accepting responsibility for our own behavior (past,
present, and future) and making choices based on principles and values rather than on moods or
circumstances. Proactive people are agents of change and choose not to be victims, to be reactive, or to
blame others. They take an Inside-Outside Approach to creating changes.
Thanks Mary Lee and Kim. A primary reason that change does not work for many is that they are undertaking change because of the desires of others. Your wife thinks you should change, your parents, your boss, your church etc. etc.Often, based on what others think we undertake change and then find out although we are doing what others we love and respect suggest, it is not making us happy and then the change becomes unsustainable. Change is wonderful, powerful, and sustainable, but only when we are acting from our own heart.Learning to listen to our own hearts (without fear of judgment from others) to affect personal change creates the foundation for success.