A Life Worth Living

7 Rules for a Life Worth Living

Are you writing the story of your life, or are you letting other people and circumstances write it for you? You might not consider yourself a follower, but here are a few signs you aren’t in control:

You don’t like your job – Maybe you picked something because it was easier or safer than your ideal career. Worse, maybe you’re just doing what your family pressured you to do.

You’re living paycheck to paycheck – The problem usually isn’t money, but your priorities. It isn’t hard for the stuff you own to turn around and own you.

You feel obligated to do things you don’t want to do. Your first duty is to yourself. You can’t save the world while you’re miserable.

Leading your life isn’t easy. It means freeing yourself from many different assumptions. That freedom can be initially terrifying and painful, which is why so few people do it. It is far easier to just follow the assumptions of society, even if it leaves you unfulfilled.

Here are 7 rules that can help you start building a life worth living:

Rule One: Never let another person dictate the terms for living your life.

Not your parents. Not your spouse. Not your kids. Leading your life means you can accept the input of other people, but the final decision is yours. This means that career choice, relationships, beliefs and way of life are to be judged by you, not anyone else.

This rule holds especially when you have doubts. Don’t let your moment of doubt become a weakness to be exploited by others. Not sure what you want to do with your life? Don’t sit passively and let other people decide for you.

Rule Two: Don’t allow yourself to be chained by consumerism.

The world is filled with stuff. Don’t let stuff get in the way of what is important. When you become chained to your stuff, you are no longer leading your life. Ask yourself: if you had to give up 90% of your net worth tomorrow to pursue your dream, could you do it effortlessly? If you hesitated, perhaps your ability to lead your own life has been weakened by your attachment to stuff.

Rule Three: Rule money. Don’t let money rule you.

Money is a resource that can be applied when leading your life. You can use it to reduce discomforts, focus on meaningful work and apply it to help you learn and improve. But if you’re living paycheck to paycheck, the money is in control.

Here are some goals to put yourself in a position to rule the money in your life:

  • Maintain one year of emergency funds in the bank.
  • Your lifestyle should expand at a slower rate than your income grows.
  • Be able to drastically reduce your expenditures if needed.

Financial freedom doesn’t mean the ability to buy everything you could desire or live in luxury. It means that money becomes a tool and not a distraction in leading your life.

Rule Four: You come first in relationships.

Do you know people that can’t stand being single? They get out of one bad relationship only to jump into the next.

Why? Because they put too much of their needs dependent on that other person. Without emotional and possibly financial support, they can’t survive.

In any relationship you need to be the person that comes first. That means that while you might enjoy the relationship, it doesn’t become the major purpose in your life.

Your purpose and leading your life must come before any relationship you enter. The surprising fact is that when you do this, you are able to have healthier personal and intimate relationships because there is no need for jealousy or possession.

Rule Five: Never outsource your thinking.

“You can split up food between men, but each man must digest it individually.” – Howard Roark in The Fountainhead.

Leading your own life means leading your own beliefs. It means never accepting anything unless you can filter it through your reasoning and find it to be true. Think critically about everything in life. Chances are there are a lot of indigested thoughts floating around trying to bypass your mind and go straight to your gut.

Rule Six: Anything you lack can be trained.

Never accept a fatalistic view of life. So you’ve been told you lack the intelligence, willpower, strength or charisma to do something? Ignore them. So you’ve told yourself that you lack the talent? Ignore yourself.

Begin with the assumption that anything can be trained and you’ll find few exceptions. I used to be a shy, introverted kid. Recently some friends described me as an extreme extrovert, being unafraid to meet new people and having honed my abilities to speak in front of crowds. Begin with the belief that you have no idea where your talents are until you train them.

Rule Seven: Purpose comes from your creative faculties.

Want to know what your purpose in life is? Simple. Hold your hands in front of you. Now look at them. There is your purpose and means to do it.

Purpose is your ability to take the creative energies you have and communicating them with the world. You and I might pick different mediums, but the act of purpose is exactly the same. You could be a manager crafting the art of dealing with people, a programmer crafting the knowledge of algorithms or an entrepreneur crafting the art of a business.

Don’t worry if you haven’t found the right medium. Once you feel that great purpose for your life and it comes from within, that is your greatest asset. With that belief you are the leader of your own life.

  • Matthew Lang

    Hi Scott,

    Great article, but the general order of numbers is five, six, seven. Your rules go, five, six, five!

  • http://www.shiatsublogger.co.uk Tony Brown

    I recognise a lot of these points. So many years of being lead and putting my needs below those of others.

    I am now completing my training in a healing technique called shiatsu. Although this may be another way of giving to others it is really a way of helping and understanding myself. Only through that self-knowledge can we help others to transform.

    The next few months will for me be a transformation as I get out of that hated office job with some cash in the bank to start living my own life. To see where my own efforts and thinking can take me.

    It was only when I started being responsible for my own skills and training that I discovered what I could do and think for myself.

    Thanks for this excellent post.

  • http://www.pickthebrain.com John Wesley

    Haha, you have a point, Matthew. I should proof-read moire closely. The numbers are fixed now. :)

  • http://www.weightlossworries.com Sara Lynn

    What a GREAT post! The only addition I would make is that if these points seem overwhelming to the person reading them, don’t fret! Take baby steps to get it right and start living!!!

  • http://danonlife.com Dan

    Phenomenal post, I’m starring it in Google Reader!

    (PS: I believe there’s a slight typo… you say “nine” rules at the beginning and there’s seven.)

  • http://www.thethirtydayyear.com Jeniffer

    Great post! Great points.
    I especially liked “Your lifestyle should expand at a slower rate than your income grows.” How true, and how many people do we all know whose lifestyle does just the opposite?

  • http://www.varsityblah.com/about Eugene (Editor, Varsity Blah)

    Great post, Scott. I think the most important thing is to follow your passion no matter what. I recently came across a quote in “Success Built to Last” by Jerry Porras, Stewart Emery, and Mark Thompson that captures it quite nicely:

    “It is dangerous not to love what you do. It is dangerous not to be fully engaged. You must choose a path that you love, for better or worse. If you don’t love what you’re doing, you can be sure someone else will.”

    Keep it up!

  • http://www.childrensbooksonline.org editec

    ” Maintain one year of emergency funds in the bank.”

    BWA-HA HA HA!

    Yeah, right Good one, Scott.

    How many middle class Americans’s salaries have been keeping up with or surpassing the cost of living for the last ten years?

    Get a clue, lad.

    You might as well have told people to grow wings and fly above their troubles.

  • http://www.pickthebrain.com John Wesley

    You have a point that 1 years worth of expenses might be a bit ambitious, but I think the idea is solid, and I don’t think that having an emergency fund equal to a couple months living expenses is out of the question.

    • Will

      You’re right that it is not unreasonable to have a few months of living expenses, but in order make mortgage payments and pay bills (utilities and student loan) i am living paycheck to paycheck. It would take several years to build up a few months of living allowance, and I cannot find a better paying job that would allow myself to accomplish this quicker either. 
      My insurance company doesn’t even want to insure my house anymore as it needs repairs that I cannot afford to complete. Now I can’t find any motivation to do anything as anything I try to accomplish seems to blow up in my face. 

      I am trying to make my life worth living but over the last few years I am starting to wonder if it ever will be.

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  • gijs

    Rule 4: you come first in relationships

    My wife is very sick and requires a lot of treatment, for who knows how long.
    You’re telling me that I shouldn’t care and just og on have fun on my own.
    Sorry, no. That’s not a “life worth living”.

    • Anonymous

      What rule 4 means is learning how to cherish your loved ones, and making the most out of your current relationships.

  • http://www.pickthebrain.com John Wesley

    I think you are misinterpreting the meaning of Rule #4. It does not mean that everyone should ditch their loved ones when the going gets tough. It means that you should stay in a relationship because you want to be there, not because you feel you owe it to someone else.

  • gijs

    I understand your point and think it may often be valuable advice.
    However, I also believe that we sometimes DO owe something to someone else.

  • http://www.pickthebrain.com John Wesley

    Yes, I completely agree with you on that.

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  • http://yahoo jill

    My 19 year old son was hit and killed by a car 15 months
    ago. 19 years I loved him. He was plenty talented and
    intelligent. I was always the mother, giving of myself
    and now, because I listened to myself and nobody else
    about being a stay-at-home mom, I am lost. I am glad for
    the time I had with him. But I feel I have to start over with not many skills and empty space on a job ap-
    plication. I have to push through the grief and find
    my way into something new, because if I do not, I just
    might lose my mind. Authority to a 49-year-old woman
    will not come easy. Unlike you, I think I am going to
    have to find a way to embrace authority.

    • Nirmalrao

      Keep it up Jill, I am also going through a worst phase of my life, but struggling….

    • DF

      You did the right thing being with your son all those years he needed you,now give yourself time to find something you like to do.I worked in a department store for10 years I would have worked for free it was the best time of my life.people around everyday ,smiles ,greetings ,new merchandise to see every day ,I felt self worth, please give that a try you are the perfect age for working in a dept. store. Have fun

  • http://www.childrensbooksonline.org editec

    Respect, Jill.

    From a Dad

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  • http://RichGrad.com Personal Development for the Book Smart

    I swear by Rule Six (Anything you lack can be trained). Indeed you can learn to do everything – it’s whether you want to or not. Getting rich is something you can learn too.

    • Perkins

      Hi,

      How do you learn how to get rich? :-)

  • http://matthanley.co.uk MJH

    Nice article; where is the image from? Wallpaper res version would be nice.

  • http://www.acnetreatmentlab.com chloe

    great article!

  • http://hallalavida.blogspot.com alfonso

    How to deal with those who want to break our Rule One?

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  • Demarco

    100+++ Great

    I like your “commets”

    Demarco

  • Hemu

    very nice blog really very help full to me
    Thanks allot :))))

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  • Bud

    Even when I applaud the many postings and blogs that testify to the principals of perseverance, self determination and taking the initiative to chart ones own course in life. It leaves me with a question. When does self determination become a mask for unbridled narcissism and selfishness? There never seems to be a concern for personal sacrifice when it comes to raising children or caring for and elderly and helpless parent. There will always be commitments that are beyond our control that make us feel desperate and like a grown up human. We are not always first in relationships.

  • Oldone

    Hmm your ideas make sense but flaws like any one’s ideas.
    You need some one some people don’t some people do in game you need team there no i in work or in team. In love or anything in this world. I will agree one part do live thru others opinion but even your saying that these are good guide lines then your telling people in way how to lead there lifes and if they follow them your rules are meaning less too. People live life to live life other for others but life is growing. Even my advice can be flawed but this just my saying and im not saying what your saying wrong but it is if people follow to letter.

    • Bud

      true/ truths are flawed and in some way flaws are some kind of truth/ it also takes discourse to reveal complex side bars to any concept/ ultimately reaching a synthesis of ideas/ hopefully, for me, finding flexibility and avoiding ideological rigidity…move on now… be well

  • khayota wafula

    Thanks very much,i could have prevented my problem long time ago if i had read ua article.Anyway, i have da solution now!

  • Fady Ghanima

    Jesus said, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” Now it’s not about the life you live now but the one after you die that counts.

    • Hilary Turner

      Oh, for goodness sake. Please do not drop down the template of Gospel verses randomly. Read, analyse, think. God gave you a brain, right?

  • sam

    Sometimes money does rule you, when you don’t make enough money to pay for the rent and afford food. This set of rules is not relevant in many ways.

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  • kim

    YOU HAVE NO IDEA OF SADNESS OR WHAt suicide is about- it is is a private personal thing- you are on imposter taking advantage of those in need. you deserve your end time and i would like to be informed of when it happens- you people are a waste of space.

    • Fady Ghanima

      I mean, life now is important but where we are going is too. Kim don’t wish death upon people, it’s not a good thing to do. Peace.

  • pwh

    just did not see anything that can help me It is hopeless thanks, good by

    • john doe

      to pwh, i wish it was that easy. its harder climbing outta a hole then it is falling in, but its worth it in the end. im in the hole right now too, but someday it’ll b better, no matter how worse it gets!

  • john doe

    thank u and god bless…..positive thinking is underrated and overlooked these days. thanx for the reminder, it made a difference.

  • Meyyappan

    This is such a great article and I loved it. I felt life in it self has no meaning and its up to you to create it. Express your self, don’t care what other will think about you, just do what your heart says, you will never regret it.

  • Hmmmm

    Rule # 1 Never let another person dictate the terms for living your life.

    That include a set of rules by someone else.

  • Karim

    Excellent Post..!

  • Stacey

    I am currently pregnant, 2 weeks away from my due date and I stumbled upon this link by merely googling key words…”what is life worth living for”. I was in a bad place before I read this, a single mother and hurt and left by the father of this child. No details are required, but I have been a complete mess and crying nonstop. I understood every one of these steps and I’m so happy that I now see that life is meant to be lived for yourself…not selfishly but loving yourself by making better choices on your life as a whole. Thank you for this post. You may not have helped everyone, but you’ve helped me today.

    • hrc

      Treasure your new baby. I gave birth to my daughter 19 years ago and a son two years later. I went through a divorce two years after that. However after 15 years of being a single parent raising my kids and following similar tenants listed above, life has yeilded much beauty, love and success. I am a successful business owner with a lovely farm and horses I love. Life is always worth living. Even though I lost my son this past summer, there are still many amazing blessings in our lives. Always look to the good and you and your baby will be fine. Peace to you.

      • scuba_rex

        It’s you and your cute little baby rules now.
        Treasure it. You are very lucky one, you are not a mess you know that. You are what you are, blessed with a cute little angel. Some people don’t have a chance to have one.

      • somanypeople

        You bear your loss with grace. I hope you find comfort in your life and continue to build your relationship with your daughter, and am saddened to learn that you have lost your son so soon.

  • .:; T I T A N ;:.

    WTF? i dun get this at all.

  • Joey

    I loved what i read! Im awear that this post is years old but its still very helpful. Its hard to get out of a depressing life style and enter a new one more suited for you. Yes there are flaws but with no flaws there is no room for improvement. No reason. Keep learning and progressing in life, be happy.

    Thank you.

  • Carrot

    http://www.squidoo.com/45-rules-for-living-life

    Wonderful rules that enlightened me

  • http://swati-myideabank.blogspot.com/ Swati

    Awesome article :)Struck a chord with me

  • brutha

    stale post i think, but anyway, i found this. Would love to hear what folks think about the relationship/marriage premised on love that never existed in the first place and then children and other obligations persist ad infinitum. Is that life? Is that what we are supposed to do/be? I would love to break away, but i’m bound by moral obligations…is that correct? if so, gotta tell you, not loving life, but guess i will endure.

  • http://www.squidoo.com/45-rules-for-living-life Tina Gray

    Fabulous rules which everyone should really read…even those that may not have agreed with them as shown above must certainly have digested them by now and even regret having given your 7 rules a not so nice comment as some have. For me this page gets a huge thumbs up.

    I have a page which I made giving 45 rules for living life which is similar to your own but easier for some people to break-up and digest possibly. I would love for you to take a look at my page though if you would and let me know what your thoughts on it are, either drop me an email at the addy Ive given or simply leave your comment at the bottom of my page. I have given you the address for my 45 rules in the box above.:) Keep smiling and Love Today!

  • http://www.myfishnchips.blogspot.com Alain

    Nice Read! =D

  • Howie

    Regarding rule four I think it’s best when you come together :~)

  • Jac Ben

    Taking responsibility for oneself and one’s life is liberating and gets us closer to where we want to be. While, nothing is “the whole picture” I found this a valuable contribution. Balance and commonsense is the key, and I think Scott has hit on important concepts, not necessarily 7 commandment. ie. Every now again, it is okay to put a relationship before an objective. Sometimes deferring decision making on minor issues to someone who could benefit from learning the process of how to make decisions can be richly rewarding. While we can always work on our weaknesses there is also room to accept ourselves as we are. Essentially we are blobs of genes and no amount of “hard work” will change the very basic structure and function of our bodies. (say, our blood type for example). And just as being a positive agent of change, creating something new, contributing can be richly rewarding, there is a place for just “being’ and not fighting or trying to change all that cannot be changed. Not resignation, just acceptance. I loved the article… it puts responsibility back where it belongs.

    • Jschocoff

      i need a straight man to love this gay massculine man

  • http://www.shapinglife.com craig

    this is great put well people need to be more open and positive and not let money rule.

  • maloim

    Very nice article. Thank you so much. My head is like a roller coaster now. :)

  • Gia

    I wonder how many people wonder if life is worth living??? I am bipolar and today is one of my worst days. I googled ‘ is life worth living’ and your advise clamed me down a bit. I have lost everything due to this illness, my job, home, friends, lifetstyle. Its like I have to build my life all over again….again!!!. Life is a struggle and when I look at happy couples, I wish I knew what that feels like. Some peoples lives just look so much easier then the rest of us. Yeah they say that its karma or we chose this life to learn lessons but when I see what is happening around the world, like the devastating tsunami in Japan, all those lives wiped out…was that fate,did they die before their time. Natural disasters occur all the time, but if there is a higher power… why were those lives not spared. It doesnot make sense. Against a backdrop of death, I often motivate myself to live life to the full. Sadly, I dont know how to do that anymore, despite all the self help books I read. When I die, I am going to ask God 1 very important question….. ‘ Please tell me what my purpose was on that hell of a place called Earth’ ? Anybody can think of any questions ????

  • http://hardik.co.in Hardik

    very very nice article! recommended.

  • Dissoi Logoi

    This is really the most vacuous crap I’ve ever read. Really, the answer to your money problems is to have a year’s worth of emergency funds in the bank? Utter, hackish garbage. Do better.

  • Perkins

    How do you learn how to get rich?

    • Zealothe

      Simple, Just live within your means. It is not a matter of how much you earn, but it is how much you spend?… Try to spend only 10% of your income, and you will found out someday, you are already rich my friend! 

  • http://Facebook Ben

    Guys I have a house, kid, misses and dog.
    Great job and I’m 22 So logic says I’m doing well. Wrong.
    I’m not happy ,I’m on antidepressants and beta blockers. How can I get out of this feeling of being tided to a never ending cycle of, sleep work eat sleep work eat sleep !!!!!!! If I look at myself and say I’m number one I matter. Then I would take my pay and disappear But that’s running from an already hard life. How can justify whats right or wrong in my above situation. I expect the answer isn’t in a 1-7 guide. (Yet it has made me think). It’s me. I need to wake up one morning and think balls to this, what do I really want to do? I want to be Free from early nights Free from sitting in every Friday night because I can’t go and meet people. As I have duties at home. ( god. I sound like I’m 53 with a dicky heart and no future. ). Please someone give me some ideas and help

    • Tom

      Ben, In many ways you will find that life has no meaning. However, there is joy found in living a life of integrity. I am going through a similar depressing period in my life.

      After my Dad died, I got life insurance money and bought a house for myself. I have a good job and many paths look good, but still like you I am depressed from the monotony of life. After I got the degree, the job, the new car, and the house, all I am left with is a future that is a blank slate. This is scary.

      I’m not sure which is more fearsome, my blank life of possibility or your life with a path (e.g. love your wife and kids and work hard). Find joy in what you have been given. For you that would be to love your wife and kids. Don’t worry about what you don’t have. Invest in your family as if they were your own body. Be thankful that you have someone to love. I have no one right now and it is lonely. Count your blessings daily and don’t forget that life is better than death because life brings the possibility of joy, but death ends all possibilities.

      • Alec

        God couldn’t of spoken that better, Tom

        Amen

  • Ronnie Herrera

    A life worth living….most of us interpret it with various experiences gathered. It is asked after hitting that point of disillusionment. Or in middle crisis, or after a rather very unfortunate event, a random life struggling difficult situation. But who can help? Let us start to ask our creator, GOD. Let us read the bible. For all the help one need. Close the door of your room, kneel down and start praying. I’ll give you 100% you will have a life worth living.

  • http://www.facebook.com/whisper2bay Akinseye Olawale Bayonle

    Hey guys, I really appreciate this post even though it’s has been written for long..
    The truth is that everyone in this world is depressed in someways and most have no future even we are not guaranteed happiness with money, car, houses and fame but there is a little thing I have learned from living,
    When You want to be happy, it’s good to make others happy because happiness comes from that,

    So live for Yourself and others and don’t see money has everything in life..

    TREAT OTHERS LIKE YOU WANT TO BE TREATED…

    Then always rejoice and never become shallow, have a time for meditation…

    ==========

    I love many of the replies to this thread click on my name to connect with me on FaceBook
    or search web4jah@yahoo.com
    http://www.facebook.com/whisper2bay

  • DannyBoy

    None of this self help bullshit is actually of any help.  I live paycheck-to-paycheck because I work minimum wage.

  • Astralwolf37

    Though there’s a lot of practical advise here, I still sense an air of self – entitlement here that is far too pervasive in our culture. I spent many years searching for what made me tick. This lead to four separate majors, an expensive liberal arts degree that doesn’t make me very employable and a year and a half of job hopping. Living for me doesn’t leave me more fulfilled and hardly makes me feel successful. The best times of my life are when I have found ways to get myself out of myself: animal care, caring for the elderly, getting lost in a movie, game, book or my own fiction writing and sharing those experiences with others, serving the campus by writing for the student newspaper, helping customers and volunteering my time. All of those things require money so we will always be a slave to it. If you want to live well, learn mindfulness, meditate and study various religions. Best of luck.

    • Tyann43

      Well said,! THE END:0)

      • Tyann43

        To:astrowolf37

  • Astralwolf37

    Though there’s a lot of practical advise here, I still sense an air of self – entitlement here that is far too pervasive in our culture. I spent many years searching for what made me tick. This lead to four separate majors, an expensive liberal arts degree that doesn’t make me very employable and a year and a half of job hopping. Living for me doesn’t leave me more fulfilled and hardly makes me feel successful. The best times of my life are when I have found ways to get myself out of myself: animal care, caring for the elderly, getting lost in a movie, game, book or my own fiction writing and sharing those experiences with others, serving the campus by writing for the student newspaper, helping customers and volunteering my time. All of those things require money so we will always be a slave to it. If you want to live well, learn mindfulness, meditate and study various religions. Best of luck.

  • A2022750

    It’s just that I expect Harbaugh and Co. will put a Premier Tyron Smith Jersey White greater emphasis on the regular season, after having played on the road in each of the past three postseasons,

  • Swati_sonik

    there should be more something on this topic

  • Taruna0411

    really a great post…….good points for life…..

  • http://www.tourismdentalindia.com Dental Tourism

    Every time I think I have read the best topic a new one comes up. Just out of the box. Thanks. 

  • http://www.tourismdentalindia.com Dental Tourism

    It is so true that people keep repeating the same mistakes again and again. 

  • Maine

    Stumbled across your site.  Love the contents

  • Maine

    Stumbled across your site.  Love the contents

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  • Dovanthang

    Theses rules are great! Thank you!

  • Acekilla25

     It’s 2012 and reading this article but I would like to know what have you gained from finding your purpose, or being the leader of your life? I have the depressing thought that after death, that’s it. That there is no afterlife OR we wouldn’t even know if we were in heaven or lying down on earth. We don’t exist anymore and we won’t know what the future will be like, how things will keep going, things advancing; because were dead and over. How do you comfort a thought like this?

    • Rubidubidoo

      It does not last forever. Enjoy it while it lasts. Dont waste what you’ve got. Life is good. If confused, think of soemone that has it worse than you, they are probably not that hard to find. Be brave, be strong, and live!!!!

      • Kannaasfsx

        amazing thanks

      • Kannaasfsx

        amazing thanks

    • Rubidubidoo

      It does not last forever. Enjoy it while it lasts. Dont waste what you’ve got. Life is good. If confused, think of soemone that has it worse than you, they are probably not that hard to find. Be brave, be strong, and live!!!!

  • Bob

    Im only young but have a good job, earn plenty of money n have loads of savings,but would give it it all up for a couple of mates.i used to have loads n my girlfriend didnt like them and told me she would leave me if i didnt ditch them,i loved her to pieces n have been lonely as hell for years.i still love her to bits but lifes lonely.just think,theres always somwone worse of than u and wen ur low,things can only get better(hopefully)

  • Guest

    My purpose is to live until I die of old age. Because I’m required to by my religion.

  • Louisearley

    hello

  • Janedotty

    I need to hear some reasons t0 keep living.  My life has been such a disapointment to ME,  that I wonder sometimes….why to keep going

  • chad
  • chad
  • chad
  • chad
  • Petrascu Gheorghita

    these are the rules of how to live life like a selfish piece of shit

    • Marina

      agreed!

  • Petrascu Gheorghita

    these are the rules of how to live life like a selfish piece of shit

  • Noname

    Your article is interesting and I agree with most of it. But I also feel that it lacks something. You didn’t mention about the negative sides of life such as depression, sadness, loneliness, suicide. Your article is more of a motivational tool that can make people get over-excited and make people want to do something to change their life – but that’s not enough ;-)

    There are three things that I learn from Ms. Chin ning Chu (a great strategist, author of classic books like “Thick Face, Black Heart” and “Do Less, Achieve More”) about life mastery:

    1. Before you can achieve the unachievable (whatever your objectives are – career, relationships, big things, small things), you need to learn how to endure the unendurable. Everybody hurts. Everybody experience uneasiness, fear, anger, and embarrassment. Sometimes you just want to stop doing everything and finish your life :)) (when I have a nervous breakdown I have the same idea). But be patient. Victories belong to those who can persist till the end.

    2. Life consists of both black and white, dark and light. You can never experience real wisdom unless you see, accept and understand the negative sides of things.
    If you look at a  person and think how wonderful he/she is and think you love he/she – that’s not love – you only look at the superficial stuffs. True love means understanding and accepting unconditionally. It’s like you know that a person is not perfect; he/she has his/her own shortcomings; he/she has done things that you hate. But after all, it’s totally fine because you love them.

    3. A symbol of happiness doesn’t bring about happiness. A symbol of success doesn’t bring about success. A lot of people fight furiously for what they think is best for them. Some of them get what they want, and they no longer want it – then they put a gun on their head and finish their life! I do experience this and I understand it.
    The most important thing in life is KNOWING YOURSELF. Why?
    If you know yourself, you will know what you truly want and you will never get distracted by superficial stuffs/things that are not belong to you. If you know yourself, you will understand other people and other things (Reality never changes. Only our perception of reality can change). If you know yourself, you know what you love and what you should do – you can focus and do what matters most and realize your dreams.
    If you don’t know yourself – you can never understand others. You will make mistakes all the time. But perhaps worse than this is that you will not know what you truly love/who you were born to be/what you need to do. You will miss all the opportunities. You will lose your beloved. You will never realize your great dreams. You will die a meaningless life because IT IS NOT THE REAL YOU WHO LIVE YOUR LIFE :D

    4. Do less, achieve more. There are only few things that can TRULY MAKE YOU FEEL HAPPY. People want more. People demand more. But true happiness lie in contentment :D Have you heard “Cry in my shoulder”? ——- “The best things in life, they are free.” (and I believe the best things in life include freedom, work with passion, and love – all of them are free).
    You are the only person who can give yourself freedom. There are people who have been imprisoned for most parts of their lives because of unjustice – their body is in the jail but their spirit is outside the jail so they are free.
    You can only work well when you work with passion – and you can only work with passion if your work is meaningful to you. With what you get from others, you make a living for yourself – with what you give to others, you make a life for yourself. I believe that it’s correct and I’m finding meaningful work for my life.
    You can only be loved if you send love towards other people. I heard someone said that love is like a gentle kiss – you got to share it to get it.

    5. Life is not about what you lack or what you have done. Understand yourself and understand what you need to do. All the past is just a lesson that we’ve learned. Live in the moment of now – take it as simple as it is.

  • Cb3351f

    Love and agree with this. The only conflict I can see is when your purpose does not permit you to ever NOT live paycheck to paycheck.

    As a performer with a day job.  I no longer live paycheck to paycheck.  I feel stable and comfortable and able to weather the occasional financial emergency, though I have nowhere near a year’s worth of expenses saved up.  I still actively pursue my purpose as often as I can, but if I were to follow these steps and quit the job I don’t like, I would soon be living paycheck to paycheck (if I was LUCKY!).

  • Graham

    also remain humble at all times, when ever we get ahead of our selves nature has a way of pulling us back in line and remaining humble and plain thinking will actually propel us forward rather than pull us back.
    Be careful in thinking you have everything in life as this is like a magnet to misfourtune.
    As long as you keep trying to win even in the face of adversity something will show up and i have experienced this tim and time again in my life..

    life is hard!!! but living in a bubble of daily routine will mean you live the most fruitless life of all.(groundhog day) until you are no more! what a waste realise your dreams there nearer than you could possibly imagine..

  • nevermind

    oo well no matter how much ill read articles of why i should stay alive, i think im better off dead because im pointless, disowned by my own parents have no sort of supply or income lived off them for the whole time me living. im 22 i dont have any job experience i just got kicked out of university, and it was my last year !! but because i screwed up my first year which is 4 years ago, now they decide to evaluate me and kick me out. i just hope i never wake up, cuz im also to weak to kill my self.. i wish i can break that fear but still, im just way too weak to do that..

    • Geyoncegills

      As long as you are alive, you live to fight another day! You are only 22, the world is your oyster. Defeat is not failing in life… True defeat is never trying in the first place. You are a survivor… Because you can choose to be one!

  • Nobody

    Sure you can live life but what is the point of it? Once you die it’s over, all the money you made all the things you did will mean nothing. That’s only one person but what if all life ended then? What would be the point of it all? NOTHING! I am not telling anyone to kill yourself or anything but I am wondering, WHY? What is the reason for life?

  • Foolsreflection

    Nice article, thanks, the only thing I think I disagree with is your comment on relationships. They require a little more than selfish motives and trust and reliance on others is not a bad thing ‘per se’ but rather a sign of a healthy relationship at that moment.

  • Risaps

    Nice article! This just made my day….

  • Risaps

    Nice article! This just made my day….

  • Risaps

    Nice article! This just made my day….

  • http://www.rubenpalacio.com/ Ruben Palacio

    A good approximation to a life worth living. I will add another one: Do not try to live long. Try to live better.

  • blah

    Hogwash.

    In North America we have created a society that is 100% dependent on money.  This is a recent truth and I wish it were not so, but in this day and age money does buy you happiness, with money you can get better food/health, if you have no family and are looking for a spouse they will be looking for a partner with “security” = MONEY.  So if you have no money, job, or family and are a middle aged man in North America your self esteem can take such a blow that you start to wonder what the point of living is..and “finding god” is a hollow answer, the bottom line is that other than living and feeling like dung, you just carry on by pure instinct…by no means is that being happy.  So whatever, I’m personally going to try to find work for another few years, after that there are some simple ways to check out permanently.  
    Cheers

    • will

      Finding a job with a pay rate greater than minimum wage is tough. Finding a job with a pay rate that will allow you to buy or keep a house is just about impossible. 

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  • Bigboy_aaron

    Living life isn’t about pleasing others, its a good thing to do but you need to focus on yourself, be a good person, don’t get caught  up in brand name crap and all the rest of this stupid society go out read a book life is about pleasure, i may be an athiest but doesn’t it say in the bible that taking your life is a sin, well not living life technically is a sin, get out and live, do what you want, that’s why i hate currancy “CASH” becuase it is the exact reason the world has gone to shit, yet if everything was free their would be anarchy.

    ~ The Sixteen Year Old Kid

  • http://www.facebook.com/charlotte.pellen Charlotte Carole Pellen

    My boyfriend always told me that ”Your own life is in your hands like the way you drive a car” and he is right about it because don’t let people take decisions for you because it means that you can’t fight for yourself, you can’t be an independent person. Being an independent is not only owning a house or having a job but also it’s about the worth living yoo like you can take decisoion on your own, you can go to th nightclubs by yourself i mean life is full of choices.

  • Alenspirit

    Nice post.

  • Gidyakello

    not bad however,its not very easy to define and give actual position

  • Tammy

    Your thoughts seem very  correct to me—Thank You!!!!

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  • Kensoez

    This is why it’s! Important for me to keep an open mind!

  • Jaime OZ

    The Revolution is ON

    TWO RULES FOR A LIFE WORTH LIVING:

    1. LIVE FOR OTHERS AND THEREFORE, FOR YOURSELF.

    Sometimes this might suck… you will find 1.000000 reasons for not to do it, but, it’s worth it, no matter in wich situation you are, no matter where are you reading this, you know that you can do something for others, and, of course, for you too. Just shut down all the “reasons” for not to do it, stop thinking about it, and do it.

    “THE ACTION IS THE ONLY WAY OF MANIFESTATION THAT OUR HEARTS HAVE IN LIFE.”

    2. MAKE OF YOUR TALENTS THE MOST OF THEM. DO WHAT YOU LOVE.

    In order to live for you and for others, do what you love, you will become more “useful” for you and for others if you use your talents (no matter if these are artistic, scientific, medical, moral, professional, physical, mental, entertaining, etc.) When you do what you love and you really trust in what you do can make a difference, you will find the joy of being instead of spend your life thinking what to do for a life worth of living.

    “BE FOR OTHERS AND FOR YOU THROUGH THE GIFTS LIFE ALREADY GAVE YOU.”

    ADVICE: BOTH RULES SUCK AT ONE POINT, BUT BY THEN YOU’LL REALIZE THAT YOUR SPIRIT HAD GROWN AND IT’LL BECOME MORE MATURE, MORE BEAUTIFUL, AND MORE WISE. 

    “LIFE IS FULL OF FAILURE, SOME OF THEM INEVITABLE, BUT THAT IS LIVING, UNLESS YOU LIVE SO CAUTIOUSLY, THAT IN SOME POINT YOU REALIZE THAT YOU MIGHT NOT HAD LIVED AT ALL”

    (Sorry for my english, not my native language, but if someone want’s to talk sometime about his-her situation, i’ll be more than glad to share a few moments).

    Jaime OZ

  • Hilary Turner

    Sorry, most of the suggestions are uninformed platitudes. A bit funny, but not very.

  • Taylor

    But what do you do when you have come to a place in your life where you don’t care about any of the things that used to bring such passion and you don’t know how to define yourself any more? A place where you can still remember what caring used to be like but you can’t get there?

  • Vicky Smith

    If everyone puts himself in relationship, then what will happen?

  • unreason for a exist

    It ain’t a life if you ain’t got no facility to dwell so you mine as well go to the dog house. Don’t break the habit of exhausting your realmn. The real men are at a conscious totally exist or blow it out your ass. Kin with the fluck is a disaster waiting to happen.

  • Sean Paul

    OH ya this was a good article but i have to disagree with the money money is everything with one failed marriage that i take FULL responsibility for and being in a second marriage that a wife does not take responsibility to take care of bills when they are due and when she said she took care of it she didn’t but enough about my problems back to the real subject you can have a beautiful model wife you can have the outstanding family support and you can have been born with a silver spoon. It all does not matter if u don’t have the drive
    the hunger to make somesomething of yourself than u don’t deserve what u have now family friends wife, and even kids don’t matter. Not unless u do threes simple things 1 take care of yourself physiologically and physically, 2 make and save as much money as u can no matter what job u have. And 3 don’t get in to get married or get into a relationship until 1 and 2 is accomplished.

  • Elska_

    I find it almost entertaining how most comments are complaining and allowing their excuses to impede on growth, and also trying to demonize the author in some manner.

    Personally, I’m a student, still not in university because I’m finding means to afford it, working, helping my family too because my mom’s house is under foreclosure and she’s bankrupt, my dad is disabled, my sister is an opiate addict, and my brother has a serious back issue. I know money problems. My entire family is depressed.

    But you know what? At one point, I stopped telling myself that I suck, that my life sucks. I left my shitty, mentally abusive job for a good one even though it makes less. I sold my smartphone. I shut off social media. I don’t eat out anymore unless it’s the occasional with a friend. I research things I buy so I know they’ll last. I stopped dating guys who didn’t take me seriously. I stopped talking to people who didn’t share the same values of friendship I did. I support my brother through his physical rehab and his musical aspirations, it keeps him believing. I’m watching out for my little sister constantly (bit longwinded and personal, but I’m there for her). I help my mom with her money options. I spend time with my dad so he doesn’t feel useless, because that’s what he says he feels like as a disabled father. In Spring I hope to get into university for a field that I had re-routed for, and I could’ve taken nursing (I was in nursing school) but I hated it. I knew I had no money, but how could I do something I disliked? I’ve taken so many mental changes recently…and I just turned 24 btw.

    And here I am, at the precipice of change, reading these complains and whining and so on…I see the old ME in each and every one of those comments! The excuses I gave to myself for my lack of ______ <—whatever resource you say you don't have. The point isn't that you need MORE. It's doing the MOST with what you have. If your true solution was just to acquire more things, whether it's money or materials or what have you, then that would mean that people with more things are happy, right? That they manage well? Yeah, no. You've seen people at all stages of life, at all ages, at all levels of achievement and income fail miserably in their lives. You truly must stop complaining and start doing, and stop victimizing yourself. You are your own victim and killer. Nobody else is in this game. I know this is longwinded and personal, but I just couldn't help it. Your shitty circumstances aren't your fault, but the way you feel about them definitely is.

    • Anonymous

      That is a very inspiring life and some very inspiring thoughts you have there!

  • GeneticDisaster

    this doesnt have much effect on me…my life is ruled by money…but not where i squander it day to day one buying clothes or alcohol or anything luxurious whatsoever. i buy the bare minimum to feed me and my other half to which i am usually living off plain rice etc etc. my paycheck goes on bills and only bills. my relationship is nigh on dead cause after 7 years he has grown “bored” of me but cant leave cause we’d both be homeless and screwed to say the least. what they fail to mention here is sort one thing out, life’s sorted but if one thing crashes, your whole world does.

  • handless

    i don;t have hands

  • Phil Lip

    These suggestions should be revised for life in THIS century.

  • JohnBill

    Only want what you already have.
    Never borrow money.
    Only use what is paid for in cash.
    Recognize nice things, share happiness for others that have them, but don’t want one for your own.

  • Tianna Damon

    This so true, thought was going to be different and many of the things they said are true. Wow Im about to cry that touched my heart !

  • D.

    There’s so much positivity on this website, I really like what you’re doing. Don’t be discouraged by those who choose to find what they don’t agree with, everyone has their opinion. Many valid points on here, keep up the good work!

  • Vic

    Thanks for posting such wonderful article