7 Rules for a Life Worth Living

Written by Scott Young - 82 Comments
Categories: motivation

Life worth living

Are you writing the story of your life, or are you letting other people and circumstances write it for you? You might not consider yourself a follower, but here are a few signs you aren’t in control:

You don’t like your job – Maybe you picked something because it was easier or safer than your ideal career. Worse, maybe you’re just doing what your family pressured you to do.

You’re living paycheck to paycheck – The problem usually isn’t money, but your priorities. It isn’t hard for the stuff you own to turn around and own you.

You feel obligated to do things you don’t want to do. Your first duty is to yourself. You can’t save the world while you’re miserable.

Leading your life isn’t easy. It means freeing yourself from many different assumptions. That freedom can be initially terrifying and painful, which is why so few people do it. It is far easier to just follow the assumptions of society, even if it leaves you unfulfilled.

Here are 7 rules that can help you start building a life worth living:

Rule One: Never let another person dictate the terms for living your life.

Not your parents. Not your spouse. Not your kids. Leading your life means you can accept the input of other people, but the final decision is yours. This means that career choice, relationships, beliefs and way of life are to be judged by you, not anyone else.

This rule holds especially when you have doubts. Don’t let your moment of doubt become a weakness to be exploited by others. Not sure what you want to do with your life? Don’t sit passively and let other people decide for you.

Rule Two: Don’t allow yourself to be chained by consumerism.

The world is filled with stuff. Don’t let stuff get in the way of what is important. When you become chained to your stuff, you are no longer leading your life. Ask yourself: if you had to give up 90% of your net worth tomorrow to pursue your dream, could you do it effortlessly? If you hesitated, perhaps your ability to lead your own life has been weakened by your attachment to stuff.

Rule Three: Rule money. Don’t let money rule you.

Money is a resource that can be applied when leading your life. You can use it to reduce discomforts, focus on meaningful work and apply it to help you learn and improve. But if you’re living paycheck to paycheck, the money is in control.

Here are some goals to put yourself in a position to rule the money in your life:

  • Maintain one year of emergency funds in the bank.
  • Your lifestyle should expand at a slower rate than your income grows.
  • Be able to drastically reduce your expenditures if needed.

Financial freedom doesn’t mean the ability to buy everything you could desire or live in luxury. It means that money becomes a tool and not a distraction in leading your life.

Rule Four: You come first in relationships.

Do you know people that can’t stand being single? They get out of one bad relationship only to jump into the next.

Why? Because they put too much of their needs dependent on that other person. Without emotional and possibly financial support, they can’t survive.

In any relationship you need to be the person that comes first. That means that while you might enjoy the relationship, it doesn’t become the major purpose in your life.

Your purpose and leading your life must come before any relationship you enter. The surprising fact is that when you do this, you are able to have healthier personal and intimate relationships because there is no need for jealousy or possession.

Rule Five: Never outsource your thinking.

“You can split up food between men, but each man must digest it individually.” – Howard Roark in The Fountainhead.

Leading your own life means leading your own beliefs. It means never accepting anything unless you can filter it through your reasoning and find it to be true. Think critically about everything in life. Chances are there are a lot of indigested thoughts floating around trying to bypass your mind and go straight to your gut.

Rule Six: Anything you lack can be trained.

Never accept a fatalistic view of life. So you’ve been told you lack the intelligence, willpower, strength or charisma to do something? Ignore them. So you’ve told yourself that you lack the talent? Ignore yourself.

Begin with the assumption that anything can be trained and you’ll find few exceptions. I used to be a shy, introverted kid. Recently some friends described me as an extreme extrovert, being unafraid to meet new people and having honed my abilities to speak in front of crowds. Begin with the belief that you have no idea where your talents are until you train them.

Rule Seven: Purpose comes from your creative faculties.

Want to know what your purpose in life is? Simple. Hold your hands in front of you. Now look at them. There is your purpose and means to do it.

Purpose is your ability to take the creative energies you have and communicating them with the world. You and I might pick different mediums, but the act of purpose is exactly the same. You could be a manager crafting the art of dealing with people, a programmer crafting the knowledge of algorithms or an entrepreneur crafting the art of a business.

Don’t worry if you haven’t found the right medium. Once you feel that great purpose for your life and it comes from within, that is your greatest asset. With that belief you are the leader of your own life.

  • Matthew Lang

    Hi Scott,

    Great article, but the general order of numbers is five, six, seven. Your rules go, five, six, five!

  • http://www.shiatsublogger.co.uk Tony Brown

    I recognise a lot of these points. So many years of being lead and putting my needs below those of others.

    I am now completing my training in a healing technique called shiatsu. Although this may be another way of giving to others it is really a way of helping and understanding myself. Only through that self-knowledge can we help others to transform.

    The next few months will for me be a transformation as I get out of that hated office job with some cash in the bank to start living my own life. To see where my own efforts and thinking can take me.

    It was only when I started being responsible for my own skills and training that I discovered what I could do and think for myself.

    Thanks for this excellent post.

  • http://www.pickthebrain.com John Wesley

    Haha, you have a point, Matthew. I should proof-read moire closely. The numbers are fixed now. :)

  • http://www.weightlossworries.com Sara Lynn

    What a GREAT post! The only addition I would make is that if these points seem overwhelming to the person reading them, don’t fret! Take baby steps to get it right and start living!!!

  • http://danonlife.com Dan

    Phenomenal post, I’m starring it in Google Reader!

    (PS: I believe there’s a slight typo… you say “nine” rules at the beginning and there’s seven.)

  • http://www.thethirtydayyear.com Jeniffer

    Great post! Great points.
    I especially liked “Your lifestyle should expand at a slower rate than your income grows.” How true, and how many people do we all know whose lifestyle does just the opposite?

  • http://www.varsityblah.com/about Eugene (Editor, Varsity Blah)

    Great post, Scott. I think the most important thing is to follow your passion no matter what. I recently came across a quote in “Success Built to Last” by Jerry Porras, Stewart Emery, and Mark Thompson that captures it quite nicely:

    “It is dangerous not to love what you do. It is dangerous not to be fully engaged. You must choose a path that you love, for better or worse. If you don’t love what you’re doing, you can be sure someone else will.”

    Keep it up!

  • http://www.childrensbooksonline.org editec

    ” Maintain one year of emergency funds in the bank.”

    BWA-HA HA HA!

    Yeah, right Good one, Scott.

    How many middle class Americans’s salaries have been keeping up with or surpassing the cost of living for the last ten years?

    Get a clue, lad.

    You might as well have told people to grow wings and fly above their troubles.

  • http://www.pickthebrain.com John Wesley

    You have a point that 1 years worth of expenses might be a bit ambitious, but I think the idea is solid, and I don’t think that having an emergency fund equal to a couple months living expenses is out of the question.

  • http://www.thought-blender.com/index.php/2007/11/07/7-rules-for-a-life-worth-living/ 7 Rules for a Life Worth Living | Thought-Blender

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  • gijs

    Rule 4: you come first in relationships

    My wife is very sick and requires a lot of treatment, for who knows how long.
    You’re telling me that I shouldn’t care and just og on have fun on my own.
    Sorry, no. That’s not a “life worth living”.

  • http://www.pickthebrain.com John Wesley

    I think you are misinterpreting the meaning of Rule #4. It does not mean that everyone should ditch their loved ones when the going gets tough. It means that you should stay in a relationship because you want to be there, not because you feel you owe it to someone else.

  • gijs

    I understand your point and think it may often be valuable advice.
    However, I also believe that we sometimes DO owe something to someone else.

  • http://www.pickthebrain.com John Wesley

    Yes, I completely agree with you on that.

  • http://outfitinspirations.com/blog/a-life-worth-writing-reading-sharing-and-celebrating/ A Life Worth Writing, Reading, Sharing and Celebrating

    [...] at Pick the Brain, I began reading the post “7 Rules For a Life Worth Living” with great [...]

  • http://www.danonlife.com/2007/11/10/spotlight-on-pickthebrain/ Dan on life » Blog Archive » Spotlight on: PickTheBrain

    [...] One of my favorite posts on the site is a recent one, but I feel it’s a good summary of some of the underlying ideals of the site.  Check it out: 7 Rules for a Life Worth Living. [...]

  • http://graphicmotion.wordpress.com/2007/11/11/7-rules-for-a-life-worth-living/ 7 Rules for a Life Worth Living « Graphicmotion’s Weblog

    [...] Posted on Noviembre 11th, 2007. November 7th, 2007 by Scott Young Print This Post [...]

  • http://yahoo jill

    My 19 year old son was hit and killed by a car 15 months
    ago. 19 years I loved him. He was plenty talented and
    intelligent. I was always the mother, giving of myself
    and now, because I listened to myself and nobody else
    about being a stay-at-home mom, I am lost. I am glad for
    the time I had with him. But I feel I have to start over with not many skills and empty space on a job ap-
    plication. I have to push through the grief and find
    my way into something new, because if I do not, I just
    might lose my mind. Authority to a 49-year-old woman
    will not come easy. Unlike you, I think I am going to
    have to find a way to embrace authority.

  • http://www.childrensbooksonline.org editec

    Respect, Jill.

    From a Dad

  • http://thoughtsofresurrection.wordpress.com/2007/11/12/speedlinking-november-12-2007/ Speedlinking – November 12, 2007 « Thoughts of Resurrection

    [...] thoughts here – 7 Rules for a Life Worth Living from Pick the [...]

  • http://RichGrad.com Personal Development for the Book Smart

    I swear by Rule Six (Anything you lack can be trained). Indeed you can learn to do everything – it’s whether you want to or not. Getting rich is something you can learn too.

  • http://matthanley.co.uk MJH

    Nice article; where is the image from? Wallpaper res version would be nice.

  • http://www.acnetreatmentlab.com chloe

    great article!

  • http://hallalavida.blogspot.com alfonso

    How to deal with those who want to break our Rule One?

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    [...] You could find this full article at Pickthebrain.com [...]

  • Demarco

    100+++ Great

    I like your “commets”

    Demarco

  • Hemu

    very nice blog really very help full to me
    Thanks allot :) )))

  • http://maisonmadelon.ca/wp/?p=79 1M blog » Blog Archive » 7 Rules For a Life Worth Living

    [...] Here are 7 rules that can help you start building a life worth living: The 7 Rules [...]

  • http://maisonmadelon.ca/wp/?p=80 1M blog » Blog Archive » 7 Rules For a Life Worth Living

    [...] Here are 7 rules that can help you start building a life worth living: The 7 Rules [...]

  • Bud

    Even when I applaud the many postings and blogs that testify to the principals of perseverance, self determination and taking the initiative to chart ones own course in life. It leaves me with a question. When does self determination become a mask for unbridled narcissism and selfishness? There never seems to be a concern for personal sacrifice when it comes to raising children or caring for and elderly and helpless parent. There will always be commitments that are beyond our control that make us feel desperate and like a grown up human. We are not always first in relationships.

  • Oldone

    Hmm your ideas make sense but flaws like any one’s ideas.
    You need some one some people don’t some people do in game you need team there no i in work or in team. In love or anything in this world. I will agree one part do live thru others opinion but even your saying that these are good guide lines then your telling people in way how to lead there lifes and if they follow them your rules are meaning less too. People live life to live life other for others but life is growing. Even my advice can be flawed but this just my saying and im not saying what your saying wrong but it is if people follow to letter.

  • Bud

    true/ truths are flawed and in some way flaws are some kind of truth/ it also takes discourse to reveal complex side bars to any concept/ ultimately reaching a synthesis of ideas/ hopefully, for me, finding flexibility and avoiding ideological rigidity…move on now… be well

  • khayota wafula

    Thanks very much,i could have prevented my problem long time ago if i had read ua article.Anyway, i have da solution now!

  • Fady Ghanima

    Jesus said, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” Now it’s not about the life you live now but the one after you die that counts.

  • sam

    Sometimes money does rule you, when you don’t make enough money to pay for the rent and afford food. This set of rules is not relevant in many ways.

  • http://eerisej.blog.friendster.com/2008/06/7-rules-for-a-life-worth-living/ My Reflections of Life » Blog Archive » 7 Rules for a Life Worth Living

    [...] Thanks to: Scott [...]

  • kim

    YOU HAVE NO IDEA OF SADNESS OR WHAt suicide is about- it is is a private personal thing- you are on imposter taking advantage of those in need. you deserve your end time and i would like to be informed of when it happens- you people are a waste of space.

  • Fady Ghanima

    I mean, life now is important but where we are going is too. Kim don’t wish death upon people, it’s not a good thing to do. Peace.

  • pwh

    just did not see anything that can help me It is hopeless thanks, good by

  • john doe

    thank u and god bless…..positive thinking is underrated and overlooked these days. thanx for the reminder, it made a difference.

  • john doe

    to pwh, i wish it was that easy. its harder climbing outta a hole then it is falling in, but its worth it in the end. im in the hole right now too, but someday it’ll b better, no matter how worse it gets!

  • Meyyappan

    This is such a great article and I loved it. I felt life in it self has no meaning and its up to you to create it. Express your self, don’t care what other will think about you, just do what your heart says, you will never regret it.

  • Hmmmm

    Rule # 1 Never let another person dictate the terms for living your life.

    That include a set of rules by someone else.

  • Karim

    Excellent Post..!

  • Stacey

    I am currently pregnant, 2 weeks away from my due date and I stumbled upon this link by merely googling key words…”what is life worth living for”. I was in a bad place before I read this, a single mother and hurt and left by the father of this child. No details are required, but I have been a complete mess and crying nonstop. I understood every one of these steps and I’m so happy that I now see that life is meant to be lived for yourself…not selfishly but loving yourself by making better choices on your life as a whole. Thank you for this post. You may not have helped everyone, but you’ve helped me today.

  • hrc

    Treasure your new baby. I gave birth to my daughter 19 years ago and a son two years later. I went through a divorce two years after that. However after 15 years of being a single parent raising my kids and following similar tenants listed above, life has yeilded much beauty, love and success. I am a successful business owner with a lovely farm and horses I love. Life is always worth living. Even though I lost my son this past summer, there are still many amazing blessings in our lives. Always look to the good and you and your baby will be fine. Peace to you.

  • .:; T I T A N ;:.

    WTF? i dun get this at all.

  • scuba_rex

    It’s you and your cute little baby rules now.
    Treasure it. You are very lucky one, you are not a mess you know that. You are what you are, blessed with a cute little angel. Some people don’t have a chance to have one.

  • Joey

    I loved what i read! Im awear that this post is years old but its still very helpful. Its hard to get out of a depressing life style and enter a new one more suited for you. Yes there are flaws but with no flaws there is no room for improvement. No reason. Keep learning and progressing in life, be happy.

    Thank you.

  • Carrot

    http://www.squidoo.com/45-rules-for-living-life

    Wonderful rules that enlightened me

  • http://swati-myideabank.blogspot.com/ Swati

    Awesome article :) Struck a chord with me

  • brutha

    stale post i think, but anyway, i found this. Would love to hear what folks think about the relationship/marriage premised on love that never existed in the first place and then children and other obligations persist ad infinitum. Is that life? Is that what we are supposed to do/be? I would love to break away, but i’m bound by moral obligations…is that correct? if so, gotta tell you, not loving life, but guess i will endure.

  • http://www.squidoo.com/45-rules-for-living-life Tina Gray

    Fabulous rules which everyone should really read…even those that may not have agreed with them as shown above must certainly have digested them by now and even regret having given your 7 rules a not so nice comment as some have. For me this page gets a huge thumbs up.

    I have a page which I made giving 45 rules for living life which is similar to your own but easier for some people to break-up and digest possibly. I would love for you to take a look at my page though if you would and let me know what your thoughts on it are, either drop me an email at the addy Ive given or simply leave your comment at the bottom of my page. I have given you the address for my 45 rules in the box above.:) Keep smiling and Love Today!

  • http://www.myfishnchips.blogspot.com Alain

    Nice Read! =D

  • Howie

    Regarding rule four I think it’s best when you come together :~)

  • Jac Ben

    Taking responsibility for oneself and one’s life is liberating and gets us closer to where we want to be. While, nothing is “the whole picture” I found this a valuable contribution. Balance and commonsense is the key, and I think Scott has hit on important concepts, not necessarily 7 commandment. ie. Every now again, it is okay to put a relationship before an objective. Sometimes deferring decision making on minor issues to someone who could benefit from learning the process of how to make decisions can be richly rewarding. While we can always work on our weaknesses there is also room to accept ourselves as we are. Essentially we are blobs of genes and no amount of “hard work” will change the very basic structure and function of our bodies. (say, our blood type for example). And just as being a positive agent of change, creating something new, contributing can be richly rewarding, there is a place for just “being’ and not fighting or trying to change all that cannot be changed. Not resignation, just acceptance. I loved the article… it puts responsibility back where it belongs.

  • http://www.shapinglife.com craig

    this is great put well people need to be more open and positive and not let money rule.

  • maloim

    Very nice article. Thank you so much. My head is like a roller coaster now. :)

  • Gia

    I wonder how many people wonder if life is worth living??? I am bipolar and today is one of my worst days. I googled ‘ is life worth living’ and your advise clamed me down a bit. I have lost everything due to this illness, my job, home, friends, lifetstyle. Its like I have to build my life all over again….again!!!. Life is a struggle and when I look at happy couples, I wish I knew what that feels like. Some peoples lives just look so much easier then the rest of us. Yeah they say that its karma or we chose this life to learn lessons but when I see what is happening around the world, like the devastating tsunami in Japan, all those lives wiped out…was that fate,did they die before their time. Natural disasters occur all the time, but if there is a higher power… why were those lives not spared. It doesnot make sense. Against a backdrop of death, I often motivate myself to live life to the full. Sadly, I dont know how to do that anymore, despite all the self help books I read. When I die, I am going to ask God 1 very important question….. ‘ Please tell me what my purpose was on that hell of a place called Earth’ ? Anybody can think of any questions ????

  • http://hardik.co.in Hardik

    very very nice article! recommended.

  • Dissoi Logoi

    This is really the most vacuous crap I’ve ever read. Really, the answer to your money problems is to have a year’s worth of emergency funds in the bank? Utter, hackish garbage. Do better.

  • Perkins

    Hi,

    How do you learn how to get rich? :-)

  • Perkins

    How do you learn how to get rich?

  • http://Facebook Ben

    Guys I have a house, kid, misses and dog.
    Great job and I’m 22 So logic says I’m doing well. Wrong.
    I’m not happy ,I’m on antidepressants and beta blockers. How can I get out of this feeling of being tided to a never ending cycle of, sleep work eat sleep work eat sleep !!!!!!! If I look at myself and say I’m number one I matter. Then I would take my pay and disappear But that’s running from an already hard life. How can justify whats right or wrong in my above situation. I expect the answer isn’t in a 1-7 guide. (Yet it has made me think). It’s me. I need to wake up one morning and think balls to this, what do I really want to do? I want to be Free from early nights Free from sitting in every Friday night because I can’t go and meet people. As I have duties at home. ( god. I sound like I’m 53 with a dicky heart and no future. ). Please someone give me some ideas and help

  • Tom

    Ben, In many ways you will find that life has no meaning. However, there is joy found in living a life of integrity. I am going through a similar depressing period in my life.

    After my Dad died, I got life insurance money and bought a house for myself. I have a good job and many paths look good, but still like you I am depressed from the monotony of life. After I got the degree, the job, the new car, and the house, all I am left with is a future that is a blank slate. This is scary.

    I’m not sure which is more fearsome, my blank life of possibility or your life with a path (e.g. love your wife and kids and work hard). Find joy in what you have been given. For you that would be to love your wife and kids. Don’t worry about what you don’t have. Invest in your family as if they were your own body. Be thankful that you have someone to love. I have no one right now and it is lonely. Count your blessings daily and don’t forget that life is better than death because life brings the possibility of joy, but death ends all possibilities.

  • Alec

    God couldn’t of spoken that better, Tom

    Amen

  • Ronnie Herrera

    A life worth living….most of us interpret it with various experiences gathered. It is asked after hitting that point of disillusionment. Or in middle crisis, or after a rather very unfortunate event, a random life struggling difficult situation. But who can help? Let us start to ask our creator, GOD. Let us read the bible. For all the help one need. Close the door of your room, kneel down and start praying. I’ll give you 100% you will have a life worth living.

  • http://www.facebook.com/whisper2bay Akinseye Olawale Bayonle

    Hey guys, I really appreciate this post even though it’s has been written for long..
    The truth is that everyone in this world is depressed in someways and most have no future even we are not guaranteed happiness with money, car, houses and fame but there is a little thing I have learned from living,
    When You want to be happy, it’s good to make others happy because happiness comes from that,

    So live for Yourself and others and don’t see money has everything in life..

    TREAT OTHERS LIKE YOU WANT TO BE TREATED…

    Then always rejoice and never become shallow, have a time for meditation…

    ==========

    I love many of the replies to this thread click on my name to connect with me on FaceBook
    or search web4jah@yahoo.com
    http://www.facebook.com/whisper2bay

  • DannyBoy

    None of this self help bullshit is actually of any help.  I live paycheck-to-paycheck because I work minimum wage.

  • Astralwolf37

    Though there’s a lot of practical advise here, I still sense an air of self – entitlement here that is far too pervasive in our culture. I spent many years searching for what made me tick. This lead to four separate majors, an expensive liberal arts degree that doesn’t make me very employable and a year and a half of job hopping. Living for me doesn’t leave me more fulfilled and hardly makes me feel successful. The best times of my life are when I have found ways to get myself out of myself: animal care, caring for the elderly, getting lost in a movie, game, book or my own fiction writing and sharing those experiences with others, serving the campus by writing for the student newspaper, helping customers and volunteering my time. All of those things require money so we will always be a slave to it. If you want to live well, learn mindfulness, meditate and study various religions. Best of luck.

  • Astralwolf37

    Though there’s a lot of practical advise here, I still sense an air of self – entitlement here that is far too pervasive in our culture. I spent many years searching for what made me tick. This lead to four separate majors, an expensive liberal arts degree that doesn’t make me very employable and a year and a half of job hopping. Living for me doesn’t leave me more fulfilled and hardly makes me feel successful. The best times of my life are when I have found ways to get myself out of myself: animal care, caring for the elderly, getting lost in a movie, game, book or my own fiction writing and sharing those experiences with others, serving the campus by writing for the student newspaper, helping customers and volunteering my time. All of those things require money so we will always be a slave to it. If you want to live well, learn mindfulness, meditate and study various religions. Best of luck.

  • A2022750

    It’s just that I expect Harbaugh and Co. will put a Premier Tyron Smith Jersey White greater emphasis on the regular season, after having played on the road in each of the past three postseasons,

  • Swati_sonik

    there should be more something on this topic

  • Taruna0411

    really a great post…….good points for life…..

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    [...] 1:44 pm Body, Mind, Soul  Add comments Scott Young, of pickthebrain.com, wrote “7 Rules for a Life Worth Living“.  I’ve shortened his answers due to space restrictions, but you can pop over to his [...]

  • http://www.tourismdentalindia.com Dental Tourism

    Every time I think I have read the best topic a new one comes up. Just out of the box. Thanks. 

  • http://www.tourismdentalindia.com Dental Tourism

    It is so true that people keep repeating the same mistakes again and again. 

  • Maine

    Stumbled across your site.  Love the contents

  • Maine

    Stumbled across your site.  Love the contents

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  • Dovanthang

    Theses rules are great! Thank you!

  • Acekilla25

     It’s 2012 and reading this article but I would like to know what have you gained from finding your purpose, or being the leader of your life? I have the depressing thought that after death, that’s it. That there is no afterlife OR we wouldn’t even know if we were in heaven or lying down on earth. We don’t exist anymore and we won’t know what the future will be like, how things will keep going, things advancing; because were dead and over. How do you comfort a thought like this?