I love working with children. Unlike adults, their dreams have no ceiling. It’s inspiring to listen to their goals and ideas.Children start dreaming at an early age. They think about their future career, their wealth, their education, and so on. And their dreams can be huge.
As far as careers go, some will choose the typical police officer, fire fighter, or doctor. Others will choose Astronaut, Olympian, or President. If we’re talking about wealth, some will aspire to simply “have money.” Others will seek a business empire or the ability to retire at age 40 or younger.
As parents, we have more control over whether our children achieve their dreams than we might think. For kids, parents are inspiration, motivation, and leadership.
You might think that your child’s dreams are unrealistic. That’s the negative adult inside you. You should believe in your child because they believe in themselves; and you’re probably the only other support they have.
All that’s left to discuss is the how:
1. Don’t Deny Their Dreams
Children dream big; that’s what’s great about them. When you were a child you dreamed big (assuming you’re human).
Many of you probably didn’t realize the dreams you had and therefore feel your children won’t either. If that’s the case, shut up about it.
Your child’s dreams aren’t about you. As far as kids are concerned, anything is possible. And that’s how it should be. If you deny your children’s dreams, or their right to dream, you are undermining their chances of achievement.
Usually I make decisions based on probability rather than possibility. However, I can say that this is one case where we all need to think about possibility and throw probability completely out the window.
2. Don’t Get In The Way
If your children are going to realize their dream of being the first Astronaut to land on Mars, the last thing they need is you screwing things up.
Parents get in the way when they:
- Deny their children’s dreams.
- Control their children.
- Don’t teach their children life skills.
- Don’t provide a quality education.
- Preach a negative view on life.
Your goal as a parent is to meet your parental obligations and provide a path toward success for your children to follow. If you cut off your children before they even get started, it doesn’t just crush them right now, it will negatively impact them in their adult life.
3. Set a Good Example
There is a saying that children “learn what they live and live out what they learn.” As parents, our children are always looking up to us. They are proud of what we do and they use our accomplishments as a standard.
Success and wealth are products of a process; anyone can achieve them. A child who grows up in a successful family will live around that process and adopt it in their own lives later on. It will be their standard.
Consequently, being poor an unsuccessful is also a process; anyone can be that person who never made it. A child who grows up in an unsuccessful family will likely adopt that process in their own lives later on. Poor and unsuccessful will be their standard.
In many ways, you are the key to your child’s success. While many children do grow up to adopt values and processes opposite from that of their family, you shouldn’t count on it for your children. Instead, do everything within your power to make sure they are being set up to succeed.
4. Help Them Take Action
As children grow and develop they’ll begin to show interest in many different things. They’ll start to give more attention to certain things that really interest them, some of which will turn into dreams.
If your goal is to help your children achieve these dreams, you should show them how and help lead the way.
But for goals that are so far off and often so magnificent, how do we even start to provide guidance?
Have Them Write Down Their Dream. Writing down the dream allows them to see the idea in the first steps of fabrication and helps them stay accountable to their goal.
Research Their Dream. The more they learn about their dream, the more realistic it becomes. Research will also give them important information on what they’ll need in order to turn the dream into reality.
Make A Timeline For Achievement. Setting a date for achievement of a goal helps keep you focused. For children, the goal could be, “within 5 years after I graduate college”, or, “before I turn 16.”
Develop a Plan of Action. How do you plan on achieving your goal? What steps are you going to take? What education or special skill do you need to accomplish your goal?
Focus, Intensity, and Perseverance. The first step is to get focused. We’re going to bring intensity into the equation, but wild intensity will only get us running in circles. Focused intensity is the fuel that drives people to achieve.
Perseverance is the extra push you need to be able to give yourself when things start to slow down (or seem like they’re slowing down). A dream without perseverance is simply a “once was.”
Play Games. Develop games or challenges that allow your children to make small achievements. Or simply ask them if they have any smaller dreams or goals that they want to accomplish sooner and use these things as teaching tools.
If children can achieve on a small scale, they’ll learn two important things:
- Achieving on a large scale is possible.
- The process of achieving (motivation, organization, intensity, and determination) works.
The importance of this process isn’t really about the initial dream. It’s about teaching children how to achieve anything. Achieving is a process of motivation, organization, intensity, and determination. We want them to learn the process so that even if their dreams change, their chances of success do not.
5. Show Your Support
Children have their own internal motivation just as we all do. But internal motivation alone shouldn’t be the only thing driving them.
Not only is your motivation important to their success, it’s important to them emotionally. They care what you think. You’re mom. You’re dad. You’re Superman and Superwoman.
If you’re on their side, anything is possible. If you give the green light, they’re stepping on the gas. And when times get tough they’re going to come to you for support.
Be a haven of positive thoughts and outlooks, provide support without offering unsolicited advice, and help them persevere when they’re looking down.
If you do these things, your children can do or be whatever they dream…
This was a guest post by Kevin Geary from Change Your Tree. Kevin is also the author of The Good Parent’s Guide to Teaching Your Children How to Retire Young and Wealthy. Images by Carf, NASA and Caro and Phitar.
(7 votes, average: 5 out of 5)
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Good article. I think it is important to give children self confidence, and avoid making choices for them.
The biggest mistake people do is that.. They blame there kids all the time..
Kevin,
Inspiring and uplifting . .
A positive article for sure.
Yes, there is something amazing about the way kids dream.
Here is a related quote which I love:
“When my daughter was seven years old, she asked me one day what I did at work. I told her I worked at the college - my job was to teach people how to draw. She stared at me, incredulous, and said, ‘You mean they forget?’” - Howard Ikemoto (artist and art professor)
I don`t think people only forget how to dream as they grow older, I think in many ways they are taught to give up their dreams. As a parent, I realize it is my role to support my child in every way possible to help his dreams become a reality.
Excellent story Peter - you’re dead on.
Thanks again for the opportunity to post this article.
“Perseverance is the extra push you need to be able to give yourself when things start to slow down (or seem like they’re slowing down). A dream without perseverance is simply a “once was.””
Most important lesson in a great article!
Thanks Patrick. Perseverance truly is an art and one of the most important qualities to have if you’re trying to achieve a difficult task over a period of time.
Kevin,
Great advice! As a father-to-be, I am spending every day thinking about how I can develop and inspire my child to succeed in all aspects of life.
#3 is especially true and I am using it to make changes in my life so that I can set a good example for my child.
Greg
Great job Greg. I wish you much luck for both you and your children going into the future.
Hi Kevin, GREAT advice. I would also include to expose them to books that teach the lesson as well. Wayne Dyer has 2 outstanding ones “Incredible You” and “Unstoppable Me”. I have an 8 and an almost 5 year old and these are their favorite books. They come with great questions and topics to discuss in the back as well. My kids also made a vision board this year when I made mine and keep it places they will always see it… it helps keep their dreams and desires active in their minds. A wonderful post — thank you! Gratefully, Jenny
Jennifer,
That’s a wonderful suggestion. Everyone write that down!
Thanks for filling the gaps for us.
Kevin,
this is out standing stuff. My son is 5 and he wants to be a Video Game designer and my first mental reaction is to say, “Yeah, you and every other kid on earth.” But I know that is wrong. I’ll never say that to him. If he wants it he can have it and I will support him.
That’s a great way to look at it Steve. I think your child has a great future ahead of him, especially with your type of leadership.
Kevin:
My Mom always told me “can’t never did anything.” I believed here then, and I still live my life by that phrase.
That’s a great phrase Mike. I think I’ll add it to my arsenal.
Thanks for your insight.
I wish this was something that my parents did.
Thank you for this article. Thank you.
You’re very welcome. I hope you find some inspiration and motivation in it.
Thanks for reading.
so inspiring~~
All five are excellent points. I would add that children should not be expected to “have a plan.” If they still do not know “what they want to be” after four years of college, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. How many people have life “figured out” at age 22?
As long as we are on the “right path,” it is not necessary to know the destination… The “journey” IS the destination…
Thanks for the post…
Good point. What this is about is setting them up to achieve their dreams no matter when or where they may occur or what they might entail.
Thanks for participating.
The idea of setting your children up for success is a powerful one. I read a really fascinating story in Freakonomics about a father who named his sons Winner and Loser. But instead of living up to what was expected of them, Winner ended up in jail and Loser ended up becoming a respected police officer. (His friends now call him Lou!)
I have also read Freakonomics - great book; and the story you mentioned is very interesting.
Thanks for sharing.
This is a great article - one that I wish I wrote because I can certainly attest to the power of nourishing your children’s dreams.
It’s so important for a parent or caregiver to allow the child to dream and then help make way for the manifestation. I’ve seen too many parents squash their children’s dreams, saying, “Be realistic, you’ll never make it.”
In an interesting sort of way, there are parents like this who are actually making their child’s dream even stronger, making them more determined. That would be what happened to me. I wanted to be a pilot but my parents told me it wasn’t realistic. Why did they say that?
Because I’ve been deaf since birth. But due to their limited beliefs, I actually ended up making aviation history a few years ago when I became the world’s first deaf instrument rated pilot - a feat everyone said would be impossible. I was fortunate - I used my parent’s disbelief and used that to fuel me on to my dreams.
Others aren’t lucky - their dreams are squashed and forever trashed.
Great article!
What a great story. Your accomplishment is amazing. I’m glad that you used your parent’s pessimism as motivation, but at the same time I understand that you still must feel some emotional pain over the fact that they didn’t believe in you.
Great job!
When I was young, I showed a talent for music. My teachers at school all told my mom I should have private lessons. I begged my mom for violin lessons. Time and again I was told “we can’t afford it.” Truth is, it just wasn’t a priority for my parents.
Every time I expressed a dream to my parents, they told me it wasn’t realistic, or I wouldn’t make any money. It’s like they wanted me to fail.
Now I work at a computer help desk making a halfway-decent income. But I’m nowhere near doing what I want with my life and I’ve lost so much time because I listened to what my parents told me instead of following my dreams.
It really sounds like your dreams were squandered. I’m sorry to hear that. I hope you find the motivation and intensity to find and accomplish what you want in life from this point forward.
Thanks for sharing your story.
“Make A Timeline For Achievement. Setting a date for achievement of a goal helps keep you focused. For children, the goal could be, “within 5 years after I graduate college”, or, “before I turn 16.”"
Gotta say I disagree with this one. Do this, and your kids will hate you when the inevitable happens and they miss one of their “deadlines.” Kids have enough timelines with school so there’s no need to load them down with more.
True, but imagine how grateful they will be for all of the deadlines they successfully achieve? This one has a lot more pros than cons.
I certainly hope you aren’t saying that children shouldn’t set goals because of the possibility that they may not achieve them!
That’s quite possibly the worst excuse for not achieving that I’ve ever heard.
And nowhere in my article did I use the word “deadline.” Please don’t take my points out of context. This is about something they want, not something you want as a parent. It has nothing to do with school or anything else.
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It is very useful for all the parents&also teachers.Every child is special and thier dreems are so precious&its every parent’s responsibility to help thier children’sturn into reality.
I work with an organization that teaches kids to DREAM! It is apart of our philosophy and curriculum. This will be an awesome tool to give to our mentors. I need some help. Are there any activities out their for kids to do on the web with achieving there dreams? Thanks Chuck