how to take criticism

3 Advantages of Constructive Criticism

Posted on August 22, 2010 by Jered Slusher | CATEGORIES: self improvement

Let’s face it. Criticism has become a dirty word.

Pick up any thesaurus and you’ll find “criticism” in the company of “nit-picking, objection, disapproval, and objection.”

The truth is criticism doesn’t have to be a dirty word.

In a broader context, criticism is an assessment, review or observation that can even be in the form of appreciation. Nobody seems to ever talk about that one: When the criticism is good, we don’t call it criticism, we call it approval. We call it praise. We call it being appreciated.

And who doesn’t enjoy sincere appreciation for their work?

Anyways, for constructive criticism to occur three things have to happen: There should be interest on the part of the criticizer and the criticized, there should be bonding and trust that the discussion is for the right reasons, and the criticism should be presented as a discussion.

When the criticism meets these three criteria, there is a strong foundation for learning to occur, and for both members to benefit from honest criticism.

Here are the three advantages to constructive criticism:

Gives New Perspective & Valuable Insight

When someone invites our criticism, we have the opportunity to help that person by giving our perspective or insight into the situation.

For example, say someone asks us to check out an article they’ve written to get our opinion. Chances are the person really wants to know what we think so that they can make it the best it can be.

Our objective reading of the article can give the person valuable insight into how they can improve the article. If they weigh the importance or usefulness of the criticism, they can rewrite or revise the article to make it better

Thus, the writer and article become more valuable due to the constructive criticism.

Here’s the real kicker: different people have different perspectives and knowledge about the way the world works. Each person brings a unique perspective to the table. If we listen and try to understand their perspective, we can apply that perspective to our work to make it better.

Think about it. Say someone wants to improve the design on their website. Who could provide beneficial criticism? Web designers? Regular readers? Casual readers?

Everyone provides a unique perspective.

Furthers Bonding and Trust

If we’re able to give our honest opinion on something, and the other person finds it valuable, we can increase our bonding and trust with that person.

Giving constructive criticism shows the other person that we value his or her work. The result is an increased level of respect between us and the other person.

If we’re lucky enough to have really cool friends that reciprocate coolness, they will provide their valuable perspective to us.

Let’s say that we help our friend out by reviewing his article and improving the spelling and grammar so people can read it easier.

He says, “Wow, that sure is swell. I can’t believe I have such knowledgeable and cool friends willing to help me.”

So when we want to make sure one of our articles is near perfect, we can send it on to our friend and ask him for his honest opinion.

More than likely, he’ll return the favor to help us out.

As Jim Rohn said, “Giving is better than receiving because giving starts the receiving process.”

If we give our valuable perspective, others might be inclined to return the favor.

No Hurt Pride or Resentment

So, when we offer even the slightest disapproval of others or their work without them inviting us to, we are basically asking for them to hate us.

Hans Selye said, “As much as we thirst for approval, we dread condemnation.”

Constructive criticism is different in that we only give it when we’re invited to give it. We give constructive criticism to people that we know and trust, and the people we are criticizing know our true intentions. We present constructive criticism as a discussion, and that our viewpoint is only one perspective and isn’t necessarily fact.

As well, constructive criticism is more about giving an overall view of things: what’s going well, what could be improved upon, etc.

In return, the people we criticize are thankful that we’ve provided valuable feedback to improve themselves or their work.

Your turn: In what situations do you think constructive criticism could be particularly helpful? How do we avoid people getting angry with us for offering feedback? When is it not appropriate to give criticism?

Jered Slusher is the founder of Mass Influence Leadership, a community of leaders driven to gain control over their future, lead other people, and achieve massive amounts of success. Get your free “Stocking Your Leadership Super-Powers” e-book at http://www.massinfluence.org/free-book

Don’t forget to follow PickTheBrain on Twitter!

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  • http://lookingtobusiness.com Daniel M. Wood

    By being able to ask others and yourself to give a true picture of yourself and use that knowledge to improve you will become so much more than you can be without.

    The problem though is that we hate realising that we aren’t perfect. We hate hearing it and we automatically set up defences to reflect any criticism.

    Being able to take criticism will take you one large step towards growing into the person you can be.
    It is something I struggle with every day. I try my best to invite criticism asking people to give me feedback, but the art of using that knowledge and believing it is completely different and the day I master it, I know I will have taken a giant leap forward.

    • http://www.massinfluence.org Jered

      Daniel,

      I agree that receiving criticism can give us a clearer sense of self-awareness. The outside perspective can sometimes be the golden ticket to realizing our own strengths and weaknesses.

      Sometimes it’s hard to stomach criticism because we don’t want to look weak or inferior to other people.

  • http://www.virginbloggernotes.com Jean Sarauer

    I think we can avoid getting people angry about criticism if we get to know them a bit first and then offer the criticism as an option, such as “have you ever thought about doing things this way?” Also, it’s often helpful to just point out something that’s worked well for us or others we know.

    • http://www.massinfluence.org Jered

      I agree, Jean. The bonding and trust part is critical.

      I really like your suggestion of presenting the criticism as an option.

      Right on.

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  • http://thedropoutkid.com jonathanfigaro

    I think constructive criticism should be taken with a grain of salt. You have to be open minded in order to receive the ideas one person maybe showing you. I think it takes not only a certain level of maturity but a level of understanding that not everyone is trying to bash your brains in. Not everyone is a hater. Everyone has an opinion of course, but what matters is the value of there words.

    Ask yourself.. Is this ideology valid? Am I being honest with my self right now? Or is this person just trying to take whats mine and put me down? Think about these questions when you are being criticize. Use your mind and think for yourself.

    • http://www.massinfluence.org Jered

      Great questions, Jonathan.

      I particularly like “Am I being honest with my self right now?”

  • http://www.selfhelp360.com Melvin

    Hi Jered,

    Well in my opinion a consturctive criticism is alwasy helpful as far as it has been asked for. Also it is helpful when it is giving with a good intention an in a fraternal way. Give criticism in a caring way. Also it should give specific information about what can be improved and suggestions on how to improve it.

    With the previous keys you can avoid the other peson to be angry, but also look to be understood.

    I Think it is not appropiate to give a constructive criticism (or any other one) if the person is emotionally charge, suggesions are better taken and analyzed with a cold head.

    Jered, I liked your post because it give practical suggestions about how to give a constructive criticism. May be you can delight us with an article about how to receive it (constructive criticism… ;-) )…

    Regards…

  • http://www.personal-powerpack.com Doug Cartwright

    Amazing! I was just preparing to do a training and running through an ‘uninsultibility’ pattern I learned in preparation for any criticism that might come my way! One important thing to remember is that most people can only take criticism well if they understand it is not about ‘them’, or who they are.
    Many people don’t, or can’t easily make this distinction and therefore listening to criticism becomes a battle between wanting to listen and fighting that inner voice that takes it too personally! I will come back and read this again.

    If anyone is interested, I created a product called The Personal PowerPack which is designed to help people take ownership of their thoughts and feelings, and frame their ‘self’ as unconditionally valuable. It’s at http://www.personal-powerpack.com – thanks again for this post.

    • Bill

      Fuck off you twat bean

  • http://fithappyhealthy.com/ Anita

    The truth is (as you say Jered) – people take any critisism personally. It differs to what extent and also how they will choose to interpret the critisism of course.

    I’ve always been a very direct person – and have peeved off a lot of people as a result. But I’ve also helped a few people face reality and get a better perspective on their life/problem/dilema.

    My guiding principles as far as voicing an opinion are:

    1 – never critisize without giving a constructive option, that kind of critisism serves only the person critisizing.

    2 – never critisize without compassion/empathy – because then you’re just being cruel.

    3 – always offer critisism/opinion in the format which is most likely to be apreciated/understood by the receiver. Which automatically implies that you do not critisize strangers – as you don’t know their worldview/you don’t know their circumstances/you don’t know their goals/aspirations.

    4 – ideally only give opinion/critisism only when asked for.

    5 – stipulate that the critisism/opinion is ONLY that – an opinion. Otherwise it is seen as advice. Then when things go wrong, people naturally look for someone to blame – and that someone is usually the person that gives advice ;)

    …ok, I’m getting off my soap box now – haha.

    Great topic and post, Jered. Also thanks for pointing out that there is also such thing as positive critisism :)

  • http://www.glimpsesindia.com Glimpses India

    it’s more difficult for a person to brush aside constructive criticism.

  • Equinox_solstice92

    I wish I could be able to take constructive criticism without ever lashing out on others that do try to help me. I just have a hard time taking criticism well because I’m used to compliments and that I think that what I do is good enough. In order to do that, one has to swallow their pride.

    This article is really helpful. The thing is, I was able to GIVE criticisms to others but when someone does the exact same thing to me, I feel like I don’t think that what I do is not good enough. If the constructive criticism comes from my family, it’s okay but when it comes from a stranger or even a friend, it makes me feel stupid.