Respect Others

Day 72:How to Get More Respect than You Ever Thought Possible

Have you ever heard the common saying, “You have to give respect to get it?”

It’s true, but not necessarily in the way you might think. While it IS important to respect others, it’s not the number one way to ensure that they respect you.

When it comes to respect, it starts at home – with you.

If you don’t respect yourself, nobody else will either.

Why self-respect is important

Self-respect is the foundation for leading a life of integrity and honor. If you do not truly love yourself and respect yourself as a person, how will you find the courage to stand up for your own beliefs or have the backbone to enforce healthy boundaries?
The predators in life have a sixth sense for those who lack a healthy sense of self-respect and do everything in their power to exploit such weaknesses. Even “nice” people have a difficult time feeling sympathy for those that they perceive as lacking in self-respect.

How to respect yourself

Self-respect can be summed up by saying that it’s an acknowledgment of your inherent dignity and worth. Please note that it’s not tied to any particular achievement or ability: every person on this planet is born worthy of respect. In practice, this respect is not always given, but it’s important for you to know that self-respect is not necessarily predicated on meeting certain ideals.

If you find that you’re lacking a healthy sense of self-respect, there are ways that you can build it up:
    Set healthy boundaries. Don’t let yourself be taken advantage of or base your sense of self-worth on how others feel about you.
    Take good care of yourself. Eat a healthy diet, exercise, and use alcohol and other drugs in moderation.
    Participate in activities that boost your confidence. This could be a hobby, athletics, community organization, volunteering. Anything that makes you feel good about yourself and leaves you feeling accomplished.
    Practice seeing yourself as a worthy person. Look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that you are loved just the way you are.
    Surround yourself  with people who are positive and treat others with respect. People with low self-esteem and little self-respect often band together and create a negative feedback loop. Often, the first step is to realize that other people can, and will, like you and that you don’t have to stay with the same crowd that’s dragging you down.

Once you respect yourself, you will find that it’s much easier to earn the respect of others. And even in situations where you don’t get the respect you deserve, you’ll have an internal sense of respect that will allow you to conduct yourself with dignity and grace.

Earning the respect of others

While it’s true that every human being is born inherently worthy of being treated with respect, there are some who stand out from the crowd and earn an extra portion. It could be because of their accomplishments, natural abilities, heroism or beauty.
You don’t have to be world renowned to gain increased respect. In our smaller circles there are those that others look up to more. It is within your power to become one of those people that others regard with an extra portion of respect. Here are some ways:
    Carry yourself with confidence. It’s true, we often teach people how to treat us and when we project an air of confidence, people see us as successful.
    Treat everyone with kindness and dignity.
    However, set boundaries and don’t let others see you as a pushover.
    Act with integrity.
    Learn to cope with stress in a cool, calm manner.
    Laugh and smile often.
    Be generous.
    Step up to the plate when things need to be done.
    Speak your mind.
    Look out for those who are helpless.
    Be firm but fair.
    Accept criticism with grace and an open mind.
    Resist the urge to be defensive.
    Admit your weaknesses.
    Take pride in your accomplishments.
    Put your heart into all that you do.

Human beings crave the respect of others; it’s coded into our DNA. When we feel like nobody respects us, it’s difficult for us to be positive and productive. When we don’t respect ourselves, we act in ways that our counter to our interests in an attempt to make ourselves feel better.
Cultivating self respect and earning the respect of others goes a long way toward leading a balanced, healthy, happy life.


The FREE PickTheBrain “90 Days to a Better You” eCourse was built to give you more confidence than you ever thought possible. You get one confidence boosting email a day, a motivational quote, and a photo to inspire you – all for Free

Join us today…


Tracy O’Connor blogs about ghostwriting and blogs about living a better life. Follow her on Twitter

  • Hi Tracy,
    Love this post! I can totally relate. For many years my low self-esteem kept me from feeling any self-respect. But once I put myself out there and showed people all my wonderful qualites, the feelings I had about myself changed. It’s true that surrounding yourself with positive, kind, loving people will change how we see ourselves. It’s wonderful to be able to say I am a respectable woman! Thanks Tracy!


  • Excellent article. Its full of useful information. I love the two dogs running together. LOL.

  • Pingback: How to Get More Respect than You Ever Thought Possible | Lumpuckeroo | Self Improvement - Overcoming Lumpuckeroo()

  • Great and thought provoking article. Living so that we like and respect ourselves is the cornerstone to having a happy and peaceful life. And while that is not always as easy as it sounds, it is always within our control.

  • Great article id like to quote one thing in your article that hit home.

    “Once you respect yourself, you will find that it’s much easier to earn the respect of others”

    Keep up the great work.
    I will return to read your works.
    Thanks again

  • Great article, thanks! Every so often I’ll make a list of things that make me worthy of respect (and self-respect). It’s iteresting to look back over these, especially during a transition period.

  • Cool topic….I know a guy, who does everything exactly opposite. He’s my project manager and he managed to get the very important event up and running in two days, unlike all other friendly people, he’s got this bulletproof way….When he first started (2 days before that event), I told him, that my team is a bunch of clock puncher, that can hardly sell anything…so he came up with this introduction as a leader of my team:
    Hello everyone !!!My name is Victor. I’m not here to make friends or increase the number of likes on my FB page. I am here to structurize this event and sell it to our client.However, I’ve been told that this team rarely makes it to the finishline, I’ll change that ! My time is extremely valuable and I intend to stick by my reputation…that being the most effective Proman.I believe that results are more important than laughing at eachother’s jokes and drinking latte. Thanks to you guys, we only have two days left, so after I finish, I expect everyone in my office and recieve a task…don’t forget: I’ve been given the permision to let go any of you and I will. On top of that, I’ll personally make sure that whoever f… up this project, will witness his own end…..the team hated him….at first…but he’s never disrespected or misunderstood….all the deadlines’ve been met since than (2 years now)….

    • Joselyn

      Yeah, I agree with what you said because while most of the tips in this blog are very good I have also read on another site that people that gain respect from others are those that are not quick to be on “friends” terms and liked by everyone and they are usually straight forward and direct – this makes sure they are not misunderstood.  Not well liked but not misunderstood.

    • bleh

      He’s respected because he’s feared. This works very well in the short term, especially in cases like the one you’re outlining, because the team knows it’s not doing well and needs a strong leader. But to the article’s defense, this is not a long lasting proposition. This leader will almost certainly lose everyone’s respect and only garner fear, if he keeps this up.

  • Ron

    I loved this article. I worked with someone who did not respect me and I was having trouble respecting her. Through this experience I learned how important respect is. Your helpful suggestions will go a long way in
    developing respect in my life.


  • Great post, Tracy. This year I’m giving an assignment a week on The Love Project and we are starting with self-love. Self-respect is probably the biggest component of self-love. I will use some of your suggestions to spark ideas for my weekly assignment.

  • Verma Darpan

    its awsum..reallu nice

  • Hex

    Great article. thanks.

  • Mitchelrathbone12

    haha i got be tup today cus of u tehe

  • Pingback: Volunteering for the Future | work [run] play()

  • cliffson

    It is real good and encouraging article.

  • Pingback: If you give away your time for free, others will judge it value-free « Nomi Sunrider()

  • Joansanderson

    Great article! I work with some people who tend to talk bad about others, an its very difficult to not judge them when I work with them. But showing respect to them and others with a positive attitude really helps to change the atmosphere at work. Thank you. This article really helps me understand others.

  • Zaideeshome

    Alway s happy. Zaidee……..l.lghjfhgff

    • Zaideeshome


  • There comes a point where the people you encounter are legitimate assholes, and no matter how much self respecting you’re capable of, you will simply not be reciprocated the respect you give. What do you suggest then?

  • kib

    Quit being a bitch is the answer

  • Asrinrai

    Hate topic

  • Dontreadthisshit

    Great…thought provoking? This is all the most fucking regurgitated cliche BS advice. Self respect doesn’t get you anywhere with people who could care less. What a shitty article.

    • I agree. make people at least a little bit afraid of you. Works better.

  • Blah

    Use alcohol and more drugs! Lol.. You need to fix that

  • I disagree. I find that smiling too often makes you look weak. Respect is related to fear. Make sure people are just a little bit afraid of you. Don’t make them too comfortable around you. Keep the talk and smiling to a minimum. (I learned this only later in life-to my regret.)

  • PhatKryptonian13

    In a self-serving world, respect is diminishing by the post of fb/twitter/instagram amongst other variables.