I recently had a minor altercation with a couple of friends. It was minor to me because I didn’t think it was a big deal. But a third party, who happened to be present at that time was affected rather badly.
Without going into too much detail, I was told I was very hurtful with my actions and that I should have controlled my temper.
It made me reflect deeply because as said, I didn’t think it was a big deal at first.
Are you making excuses to avoid being honest?
Through my reflection I realized that we tend to make a lot of excuses. And we do that, we stop being honest with ourselves.
We try to justify the anger, sadness or pain in general with our emotions, regardless of whether we’re in the right or wrong.
Then we leave it as that. Because sometimes, feeling the pain is a lot easier than working to improve ourselves.
Am I right?
It’s time to get honest. And yes, it’s going to be terrifying.
7 honest questions you need to start asking yourself
1) “Could it possibly be that I’m actually in the wrong?”
You could be wrong indeed. That’s why you have to swallow your pride and actually admit your mistake, man up and apologize.
It’s going to be uncomfortable and angering even, but if you’re wrong, you’re wrong. You have to be honest and make amends. Avoid using your emotions to justify your bad behavior and stubbornness. That’s immature and it’s time to grow up.
Besides, it usually isn’t as bad as you make it out to be. People would appreciate your honesty.
2) “Do I really love my family?”
I think most of us, who are in a healthy family say that we love our parents and siblings. Yet, do we act the part though?
Do you say you love your mom, but get annoyed most of the time because you dismiss her love as being naggy and then act all rude and stuff to her?
This is an important question because answering it should push you to make the relationship better.
Or, if you can’t answer yes to it because your family is abusive and dysfunctional, then perhaps it’s time you allow yourself some happiness by leaving them altogether.
3) “Am I where I want to be in my life today?”
This question is brutal. Many of us aren’t, but say yes anyway because we think we’re doing alright according to society’s standard or others’ view of you.
For example, people hate their job. But they don’t quit because the stable income makes them feel like that they’re doing alright, and that’s alright.
If you try being honest here, it’s going to feel scary, but from there, you can lay out a plan to start going where you really want to go regardless of age. Do it.
4) “Do I truly not care about what others think of me?”
This one is a known issue a lot of people have trouble with.
Some of us think we got it down pat though, but do we really? What happens when you’re say, taking part in a competition where tons of people are physically around you?
Mastering the art of of not caring about what others think is tricky. If you want to be good at it, answer the question honestly. Feel the cringe. Then keep pushing yourself.
5) “Do I always say what I want to say to others?”
Or do you hold back at the last moment because you don’t want to hurt others’ feelings or want to avoid confrontation?
And then you end up regretting, asking yourself why you weren’t honest.
I think we all hold back every now and then as a form of proper etiquette. Nobody wants the blunt truth at a party anyway.
Yet, for better or worse, this is a great question to be honest with. Answer it honestly, and see how you can balance it out in your life. It will greatly benefit both you and those around you.
6) “Do I want to be right, or be happy?”
Here’s the honest truth: The former does not necessarily bring happiness.
A lot of us are obsessed with wanting to be right though. If you’re constantly unhappy then, perhaps it’s time you let it go and aim for the latter instead.
And yes, that means swallowing your pride, backing down and letting others think that you’re wrong, or that you lost. Not that it matters though. Work for this!
7) “Do I really love him/her?”
Do you want to spend the rest of your life with him/her?
Do you think you can be alone when he/she is out of the picture?
Are you only with him/her out of comfort?
There’re way too many unhappy couples today. They feel stuck. They fear being alone or the pain from trying to get over a breakup. They don’t dare be honest with themselves.
I think that since it concerns your future, you really need to be honest here. Everyone deserves true love in their life!
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