{"id":9422,"date":"2012-03-07T23:35:01","date_gmt":"2012-03-08T07:35:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/?p=9422"},"modified":"2013-09-17T12:04:53","modified_gmt":"2013-09-17T20:04:53","slug":"the-top-3-skills-you-need-to-bounce-back-from-anything","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/the-top-3-skills-you-need-to-bounce-back-from-anything\/","title":{"rendered":"The Top 3 Skills You Need to Bounce Back From Anything"},"content":{"rendered":"<div style=\"margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;\" class=\"sharethis-inline-share-buttons\" ><\/div><p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/03\/Screen-shot-2012-03-07-at-5.33.15-PM.png\"><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Resiliency is a hot topic these days and for good reason. Not only do we have the usual setbacks in our everyday lives, but the global economy has many of us spinning as well.<\/p>\n<p>So, how can you bounce back from everything from the dog vomiting on your shoe to job loss to foreclosure? While there are many aspects to resiliency, here are the three top skills for you to use:<!--more--><\/p>\n<p><strong>1. \u00a0Practice acceptance<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>This is a broad topic, but here are the basics:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Acknowledge your emotions about the situation.<\/strong> Sometimes people who have suffered through something like financial loss don\u2019t really realize they are experiencing <em>grief<\/em>. Parents of kids with special needs sometimes have difficulty recognizing how <em>resentful<\/em> they feel at times. Losing your job can result in feelings of <em>shame.<\/em> <strong> <\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>These are all difficult emotions and hard to embrace, but you can only move forward when you know exactly what you are dealing with.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Practice non-resistance.<\/strong> Resisting what has happened to you is like being in a Chinese finger puzzle \u2013 the more you struggle against it, the tighter it grabs you and the more stuck you are. Only when you relax and move toward the center of the puzzle do you get out of it.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>And try not to confuse non-resistance with <em>giving up<\/em>. It\u2019s more about <em>giving in<\/em> and accepting your circumstances so that you can do something about them.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Accept life as it is, not as it should be.<\/strong> We can waste a lot of time thinking about how life \u201cshould\u201d be rather than accepting it just as it is. Being realistic will help you move forward faster.<\/li>\n<li><strong>No one said you have to like it. <\/strong>Acceptance does <strong>not<\/strong> mean that you have to like what is happening to you. It\u2019s actually possible to not resist something <strong>and<\/strong> dislike it at the same time!<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>2. Gain perspective<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Remember past experiences.<\/strong> This is key to your ability to bounce back from adversity. Recall other difficulties that you have had in your life and realize that, somehow, you made it through them. It\u2019s likely you will also make it through this one, too. As a wise person once said, \u201cThis, too, shall pass.\u201d<strong> <\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>Stop chewing your cud. <\/strong>The word \u201cruminate\u201d comes from the Latin <em>ruminare<\/em>, the root of which describes a cow chewing its cud. This is what you do when you ruminate: Think about the problem, chew on it a bit, swallow it down, bring it back up, think about it . . .<strong> <\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>It\u2019s easy to get stuck re-hashing the problem over and over again, trying to \u201cfix it.\u201d But then your focus gets very narrow and The Problem becomes the only thing in your life. Let go of it. Widen your focus and see what else is in your life.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Stay in the moment. <\/strong>Rather than fretting about something that could happen in the future or worrying about the past, try to stay in the present moment. This is where life is really happening.<strong> <\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>Use a perspective-changer. <\/strong>Some studies have shown that it really <em>does<\/em> help to think about people who are in worse circumstances than you are. I call these perspective-changers. A perspective-changer I often use is my memory of sitting with a dying client who was at peace with her own death. Being with her made everything else seem like small stuff.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>3. Get social<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>This is <strong><em>not<\/em><\/strong> the time for you to suck it up and go it alone. One of the best ways to bounce back from hard times is allow other people to support you emotionally.<strong> <\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Find people you trust.<\/strong> It\u2019s important that you feel safe enough to talk with people about your situation, so pick family members or friends that you really trust.<strong> <\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>Talk.<\/strong> You don\u2019t have to go into specifics of what\u2019s bothering you if you don\u2019t want to, but it\u2019s important that you let the people in your inner circle know that you\u2019re going through a rough time.<strong> <\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>Take your power back. <\/strong>The more you allow your problem to be a secret, the more power it has over you. By talking about it, you take the power away from the \u201cdeep, dark secret\u201d and put it back where it belongs \u2013 with you.<strong> <\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>You already know that life has its fair share of ups and downs. Try these three resiliency strategies and you\u2019ll soon be bouncing back in no time.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><em>P<\/em><em>sychotherapist Bobbi Emel specializes in helping people face life\u2019s significant challenges and regain their resiliency. In addition to seeing clients in her private practice, Bobbi is a well-regarded speaker and writer. You can find her blog at <\/em><a href=\"http:\/\/www.thebounceblog.com\/\">http:\/\/www.TheBounceBlog.com<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"..\/no-spam-guarantee\/\">Sign up for the PTB newsletter! <\/a><\/p>\n<p><em><strong>Related Articles:<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"..\/reclaim-your-dreams-its-time-to-come-alive\/\">Reclaim Your Dream, It&#8217;s Time to Come Alive <\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"..\/importance-of-reading\/\">Why You Should Read Personal Development Books <\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Resiliency is a hot topic these days and for good reason. Not only do we have the usual setbacks in our everyday lives, but the global economy has many of us spinning as well.<\/p>\n<p>So, how can you bounce back from everything from the dog vomiting on your shoe to job loss to foreclosure? While there are many aspects to resiliency, here are the three top skills for you to use: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/the-top-3-skills-you-need-to-bounce-back-from-anything\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12163,"featured_media":9423,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0},"categories":[6,31],"tags":[1929,1928,4641,66,4629,4640],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v19.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>The Top 3 Skills You Need to Bounce Back From Anything  - Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Remember past experiences. This is key to your ability to bounce back from adversity. Recall other difficulties that you have had in your life and realize that, somehow, you made it through them. It\u2019s likely you will also make it through this one, too. As a wise person once said, \u201cThis, too, shall pass.\u201d\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/the-top-3-skills-you-need-to-bounce-back-from-anything\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Top 3 Skills You Need to Bounce Back From Anything  - Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Remember past experiences. This is key to your ability to bounce back from adversity. Recall other difficulties that you have had in your life and realize that, somehow, you made it through them. It\u2019s likely you will also make it through this one, too. As a wise person once said, \u201cThis, too, shall pass.\u201d\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/the-top-3-skills-you-need-to-bounce-back-from-anything\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"http:\/\/www.facebook.com\/pickthebrain\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2012-03-08T07:35:01+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2013-09-17T20:04:53+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/03\/ptb-fb-profpic2-1.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"300\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"300\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@pickthebrain\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@pickthebrain\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Erin Falconer\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/\",\"name\":\"Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement\",\"description\":\"\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/the-top-3-skills-you-need-to-bounce-back-from-anything\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/03\/Screen-shot-2012-03-07-at-5.33.15-PM.png\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/03\/Screen-shot-2012-03-07-at-5.33.15-PM.png\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/the-top-3-skills-you-need-to-bounce-back-from-anything\/#webpage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/the-top-3-skills-you-need-to-bounce-back-from-anything\/\",\"name\":\"The Top 3 Skills You Need to Bounce Back From Anything - Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/the-top-3-skills-you-need-to-bounce-back-from-anything\/#primaryimage\"},\"datePublished\":\"2012-03-08T07:35:01+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2013-09-17T20:04:53+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/2da8ae162c097bdb749ab098472b4cc5\"},\"description\":\"Remember past experiences. 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