{"id":836,"date":"2009-01-16T06:55:40","date_gmt":"2009-01-16T14:55:40","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/the-language-of-success\/"},"modified":"2013-08-20T07:56:56","modified_gmt":"2013-08-20T15:56:56","slug":"the-language-of-success","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/the-language-of-success\/","title":{"rendered":"The Language of Success"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>

<\/p>\n

The other day, having just typed an email to a customer, my mouse cursor hovered over the send button. But something didn\u2019t feel quite right. Re-reading the email, I stopped at the following sentence:<\/p>\n

\u201cI should be able to get this to you in the next 24 hours\u201d.<\/em><\/p>\n

This is a fairly standard sentence, but on this particular occasion the word \u201cshould\u201d<\/em> caught my attention. Was this the best word I could use? Did it even matter?<\/p>\n

I knew why I had chosen this particular word; I wanted to convey that I expected to have the work done within 24 hours, but there was a possibility I wouldn\u2019t. So there was a rational reason for my choice, but in that moment I also came to see that using the word \u201cshould\u201d<\/em> could have potentially negative and unintentional consequences.<\/p>\n

Ted Rogers, the Canadian Communications mogul who recently passed away, once noted: \u201cIt\u2019s funny, the difference between success and failure often is very little.\u201d <\/em>It seems to me that one of these \u201clittle things\u201d is the language we use to communicate. Here\u2019s why:
\n
\nCommitting Ourselves
\n<\/strong><\/p>\n

When I typed the word \u201cshould\u201d<\/em>, I effectively gave myself an excuse for not completing the request within 24 hours. Yes, it makes sense to do this in some circumstances. However, by doing this it also meant I would be less likely to complete the request within 24 hours. After all, was I making any commitment? Saying I should<\/em> have something finished within 24 hours means it could be done in 48, 72 or 1,000 hours and I still would have kept my word.<\/p>\n

I would like to note here that it is extremely important not to break your promises, and therefore you should be careful not commit to something you can\u2019t do. But I think it is also extremely important not to give yourself a free ride by never making firm commitments and\/ or never setting deadlines to complete work.<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s consider an alternative to using the word \u201cshould\u201d<\/em> (note: this is what I actually sent):<\/p>\n

\u201cI will get this to you in 24 hours\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

The important word here, of course, is \u201cwill\u201d<\/em>. By using this word, I committed myself to getting this request done by a particular deadline. And guess what? I did.<\/p>\n

Now, you may not be too interested in whether or not I got something done for a customer . But consider for a moment your own goals. Do ever find yourself saying “I want<\/em> to get fit”. Or, “I should<\/em> go to the gym”. Such statements are usually wishful thinking. It is only when you fully commit to something – which starts by saying something like “I will…<\/em>” or I must…<\/em>” – that it becomes a priority and receives your focused attention.<\/p>\n

Trust from Others<\/strong><\/p>\n

There is a good chance that to get where you want to go in life you will need the help of other people. I mention this because the language you use when communicating with other people influences how they perceive you, and therefore how they treat you.<\/p>\n

The word \u201cshould\u201d<\/em> is a hedge because maybe you will get the work done, but maybe you won’t…. This does little to give your clients, co-workers, boss or whoever it is you are dealing with confidence in you.<\/p>\n

Strong vs Weak Language<\/strong><\/p>\n

The following are some examples of words that are generally strong and weak:<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
Weak<\/span><\/strong><\/td>\nStrong<\/span><\/strong><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
maybe<\/td>\nwill<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
trying<\/td>\ncan<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
possibly<\/td>\nmust<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
hoping<\/td>\nplan<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
probably<\/td>\ndefinitely<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
(I) think<\/td>\n(I) know<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

Once again, there are times when it is appropriate to use the words I have listed above as weak. My suggestion is simply to be conscious of your choice of such words, and then consider using a stronger alternative. By using strong language, you commit yourself to taking action and gain a greater level of trust from people you deal with.<\/p>\n

Final Thoughts<\/strong><\/p>\n

There is a common saying that actions speak louder than words. I agree. But I also believe, as Obama once responded to his critics, that words do matter<\/em>. If you can get your actions and language in alignment then you will be all the more closer to success (whatever “success” means to you).<\/p>\n

What do you think? <\/strong>Does the language we use really contribute to success or failure? And if so, do you have any examples of words and phrases to use or avoid?<\/p>\n

Peter writes about\u00a0how to change your life<\/a> at The Change Blog. He is also the author of\u00a0Starting a Blog<\/a> and\u00a0Audio Book Downloads<\/a>.<\/em>
\n<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The other day, having just typed an email to a customer, my mouse cursor hovered over the send button. But something didn\u2019t feel quite right. Re-reading the email, I stopped at the following sentence: \u201cI should be able to get … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12163,"featured_media":840,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0},"categories":[23],"tags":[2186,4653,2576,433,4641,1693,140,4629,4640],"yoast_head":"\nThe Language of Success - Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"There is a common saying that actions speak louder than words. I agree. But I also believe, as Obama once responded to his critics, that words do matter. 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