{"id":8185,"date":"2011-12-06T22:41:09","date_gmt":"2011-12-07T06:41:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/?p=8185"},"modified":"2013-09-13T14:46:32","modified_gmt":"2013-09-13T22:46:32","slug":"7-ways-to-bounce-back-from-lifes-challenges","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/7-ways-to-bounce-back-from-lifes-challenges\/","title":{"rendered":"7 Ways to Bounce Back From Life&#8217;s Challenges"},"content":{"rendered":"<div style=\"margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;\" class=\"sharethis-inline-share-buttons\" ><\/div><p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/12\/Screen-shot-2011-12-06-at-3.07.36-PM.png\"><\/a><\/p>\n<p>In life, stuff happens. People get sick.\u00a0 The IRS calls. Then, just when you think it can&#8217;t get any worse, the dog throws up on your shoes.<\/p>\n<p>And that&#8217;s before you&#8217;ve left for work. What do you do when you don&#8217;t know what to do anymore? Here are ten ways for you to develop your resiliency \u2013 your ability to bounce back from the challenges in life.<!--more--><\/p>\n<p><strong>1. Acceptance<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Ugh. People hate it when I talk about acceptance because they equate acceptance with giving up. Actually, acceptance has more to do with <em>giving in<\/em> than <em>giving up.<\/em> When life throws you a curveball, your immediate response is usually to resist what is happening. This is a form of denial, which is okay for awhile, but at some point, you need to see the situation for what it is and <em>go with it<\/em> rather than <em>resist it.<\/em> The key is to accept life <strong><em>as it is, rather than what it should be.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Acceptance is a big topic that needs its own article, but for now, here are a few more components:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Being okay with emotions, even when they\u2019re \u201cbad.\u201d<\/strong> This means it\u2019s okay to feel however you want about a situation and not saying to yourself, \u201cI need to keep a stiff upper lip\u201d or \u201cI guess I shouldn\u2019t be angry about this.\u201d<\/li>\n<li><strong>Realizing that accepting a situation doesn\u2019t necessarily mean that you like it.<\/strong> I think this causes a lot of confusion for people, too. \u201cHow am I supposed to like the fact that I\u2019m losing my house to foreclosure?\u201d You don\u2019t, but you <strong>do<\/strong> need to accept the reality of the foreclosure so you can develop strategies to address the situation.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Being able to hold two opposing thoughts or feelings at the same time.<\/strong> This one is kind of tricky, but it has to do with acknowledging opposites like \u201cI love my kid AND right now I can\u2019t stand him because he\u2019s being defiant.\u201d Or, \u201cI\u2019m relieved that my dad died and is now out of pain AND I want him back.\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>2. Social support<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Even though you might think you need to \u201ctough this out alone,\u201d it really doesn\u2019t help when you\u2019re trying to overcome a problem. Going it alone leads to feeling isolated and immersed in your problem. You have people who love you and want to help, even if it\u2019s just to provide a listening ear. Be okay with sharing your circumstances with at least one close friend or family member.<\/p>\n<p><strong>3. Perspective<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I recently asked a woman who had been downsized out of her job how she made it through that difficult time. I was surprised at her answer. \u201cYou know, Bobbi,\u201d she said, \u201cI chose to expand rather than contract. I used this as an opportunity to learn new things rather than focus on it only as a negative in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>There are always different angles from which you choose to see a situation. Try a few new ones!<\/p>\n<p>Here are a few more ideas about perspective:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Stop ruminating.<\/strong> Rumination is going over and over something endlessly; it\u2019s a way you try to fix a problem but it doesn\u2019t get you anywhere. Try to stop obsessive thinking about the problem and realize that you have some good things to fill up your life, too.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Remember that you have made it through past challenges.<\/strong> This isn\u2019t the first problem you\u2019ve had in your life and, unfortunately, it won\u2019t be the last. It\u2019s really important to realize that you <em>have<\/em> made it through tough times in the past and you will this time, too.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>4. Stay in the moment<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>This will help you not ruminate about the problem or fret about the future. Grounding techniques can help with this \u2013 paying attention to your senses: how does the desk feel under your fingertips? What do you smell in the air right now? What do you hear? Focus on those sensations for a few minutes to stay in the current moment.<\/p>\n<p><strong>5. Problem-solving<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Now that you\u2019ve accepted your situation, have some perspective about it, and have your support system around you, it\u2019s time to <strong><em>do<\/em><\/strong> something. Use these quick steps to develop a plan (it helps tremendously to do this with other people. You get more ideas and different perspectives.):<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Define the problem. <\/strong>Sometimes what you think is the problem really isn\u2019t. Use your problem-solving group to develop a very specific definition of the problem.<strong> <\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>Has anything worked in the past to solve this problem?<\/strong> If yes, do it again! If no, move to the next step.<strong> <\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>Brainstorm as many different solutions as possible. <\/strong>This means to generate ideas that might even seem silly at first.<strong> <\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>Narrow the list of solutions. <\/strong>Now is the time to toss out those ideas that absolutely won\u2019t work and keep the ones that will.<strong> <\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>Develop an action plan.<\/strong> Use the workable ideas to form action steps.<strong> <\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>Create accountability. <\/strong>Have your support system check in with you to make sure you are following through.<strong> <\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>6. See what you can learn<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Since life has handed you lemons, this is a good time to not only make the proverbial lemonade, but lemon meringue pie, lemon tarts . . . you get the idea. Like my friend above who chose to expand rather than contract, there are always things to learn about yourself, the world, and others when challenges arise. It\u2019s a tough way to learn them, but sometimes it\u2019s the best way, too.<\/p>\n<p><strong>7. Find the gifts<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>The sand that irritates the oyster eventually makes a beautiful pearl. You may not see the gifts in your situation right now, but have faith that they are there. I have heard many women with cancer talk about the unexpected gifts they experienced: finding out how many people truly loved them, learning how strong they were, being able to help others also going through cancer.<\/p>\n<p>The gifts are there, just be open to receiving them.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><em>Psychotherapist Bobbi Emel specializes in helping people face life\u2019s significant challenges and regain their resiliency. In addition to seeing clients in her private practice in Los Altos, Ca., Bobbi is a well-regarded speaker and writer. You can find her blog at\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/www.thebounceblog.com\/\" target=\"_blank\">http:\/\/www.TheBounceBlog.com<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n<p>Don&#8217;t Forget To sign up for the\u00a0<a href=\"..\/no-spam-guarantee\/\">PTB NEWSLETTER!<\/a><\/p>\n<p><em><strong>Related Reading:<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/11-simple-ways-to-become-confident-like-a-rap-star\/\">11 Simple Ways To Be Confident Like a Rap Star<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/6-tips-to-writing-a-successful-life-plan\/\">6 Tips To Writing a Successful Life Plan<\/a><\/p>\n<p><em><br \/>\n<\/em><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>And that&#8217;s before you&#8217;ve left for work. What do you do when you don&#8217;t know what to do anymore? Here are ten ways for you to develop your resiliency \u2013 your ability to bounce back from the challenges in life. <a href=\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/7-ways-to-bounce-back-from-lifes-challenges\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12163,"featured_media":8187,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0},"categories":[17,6],"tags":[963,1774,1604,280,536,113,66,1055,4629],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v19.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>7 Ways to Bounce Back From Life&#039;s Challenges - Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"In life, stuff happens. People get sick. The IRS calls. Then, just when you think it can&#039;t get any worse, the dog throws up on your shoes. And that&#039;s before you&#039;ve left for work. What do you do when you don&#039;t know what to do anymore? Here are ten ways for you to develop your resiliency \u2013 your ability to bounce back from the challenges in life.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/7-ways-to-bounce-back-from-lifes-challenges\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"7 Ways to Bounce Back From Life&#039;s Challenges - Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"In life, stuff happens. People get sick. The IRS calls. Then, just when you think it can&#039;t get any worse, the dog throws up on your shoes. And that&#039;s before you&#039;ve left for work. What do you do when you don&#039;t know what to do anymore? Here are ten ways for you to develop your resiliency \u2013 your ability to bounce back from the challenges in life.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/7-ways-to-bounce-back-from-lifes-challenges\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"http:\/\/www.facebook.com\/pickthebrain\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2011-12-07T06:41:09+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2013-09-13T22:46:32+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/12\/Screen-shot-2011-12-06-at-3.07.36-PM.png\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"352\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"264\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/png\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@pickthebrain\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@pickthebrain\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Erin Falconer\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"5 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/\",\"name\":\"Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement\",\"description\":\"\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/7-ways-to-bounce-back-from-lifes-challenges\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/12\/Screen-shot-2011-12-06-at-3.07.36-PM.png\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/12\/Screen-shot-2011-12-06-at-3.07.36-PM.png\",\"width\":\"352\",\"height\":\"264\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/7-ways-to-bounce-back-from-lifes-challenges\/#webpage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/7-ways-to-bounce-back-from-lifes-challenges\/\",\"name\":\"7 Ways to Bounce Back From Life's Challenges - Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/7-ways-to-bounce-back-from-lifes-challenges\/#primaryimage\"},\"datePublished\":\"2011-12-07T06:41:09+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2013-09-13T22:46:32+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/2da8ae162c097bdb749ab098472b4cc5\"},\"description\":\"In life, stuff happens. 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Here are ten ways for you to develop your resiliency \u2013 your ability to bounce back from the challenges in life.\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/7-ways-to-bounce-back-from-lifes-challenges\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/7-ways-to-bounce-back-from-lifes-challenges\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/7-ways-to-bounce-back-from-lifes-challenges\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"7 Ways to Bounce Back From Life&#8217;s Challenges\"}]},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/2da8ae162c097bdb749ab098472b4cc5\",\"name\":\"Erin Falconer\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/1173c63284b173ff225e5f87a1af5028?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/1173c63284b173ff225e5f87a1af5028?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Erin Falconer\"},\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/author\/erin\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"7 Ways to Bounce Back From Life's Challenges - Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement","description":"In life, stuff happens. 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