{"id":81034,"date":"2020-06-30T06:23:15","date_gmt":"2020-06-30T14:23:15","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/?p=81034"},"modified":"2020-07-07T20:23:31","modified_gmt":"2020-07-08T04:23:31","slug":"3-reasons-open-mindedness-is-a-key-to-self-growth","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/3-reasons-open-mindedness-is-a-key-to-self-growth\/","title":{"rendered":"3 Reasons Open-Mindedness is a Key to Self-Growth"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Lately, more so than usual, social media has been flooded with opinions. Because people are being more vocal about their beliefs, others grow more hostile defending their own in response. Rational discussions are too commonly few and far between. I\u2019ve noticed both through observation and experience that too many hostile disagreements stem from closed-mindedness from both parties.  from just persistently not listening. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, why is open-mindedness an extremely vital part of self-growth? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

  1. It changes your approach to conversations. <\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n

    I\u2019ve seen way too many people approach debates (I\u2019d honestly hardly call these conversations debates; they\u2019re more like verbal thrashings) with, \u201cIf you ______, direct message me & I\u2019ll tell you why you\u2019re wrong.\u201d This dehumanizes the person on the other side of the argument and often makes it seem like they want the worst for everyone. Instead, we must recognize that the person we disagree with has at least a reason for their belief. How do we determine if that reason is reliable and coming from a good place? We listen to them. We recognize them as people who, more often than not, think their way is the safest and best way. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    The arguments about police and prison reform were the inspiration for this blog post and the social and political elephant in the room here, but keep in mind open-mindedness is not only a tactic to form your political beliefs (…but definitely use it! Don\u2019t dismiss ideas before you even hear and consider them). <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    With that being said, let\u2019s switch to looking at this thought process within improving states of our self-doubt, insecurity, and anxiety. It\u2019s probably difficult to understand why some friends and family members struggle with anxiety or self-doubt. Instead of saying, \u201cJust don\u2019t worry,\u201d we should be asking them what they\u2019re worried about, why they\u2019re worried about it, and what helps ease their fears. Then, we should express understanding for their anxiety and calmly discuss its rationality and action steps to prevent it in the future. \u201cJust don\u2019t worry,\u201d dismisses real worries and creates shame for having them, which isn\u2019t helpful for growth for either party.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    On the flip side, if you struggle with something like anxiety or self-doubt and reach out for help, it\u2019s possible you anticipate you\u2019re too far gone for any of their advice to actually help you. If you hear them without listening, the conversation is fruitless because you\u2019ve already decided you\u2019re the exception. To be helped, you must be open to getting help.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    1. It allows room for each side to admittedly have flaws.<\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n

      Hannah Montana really said it best in her song \u201cNobody\u2019s Perfect.\u201d Viewing our opinions from any perspective at all as infallible because we hold them is entirely unhelpful. If we\u2019re afraid of a kink in our logic, we make our ideas seem more extreme because we\u2019re giving full-fledged solutions instead of saying, \u201cWell, this is the best thing I\u2019ve heard so far. What do you think?\u201d For example, abolitionist-based police reform has been widely discussed and the exact community resources that would replace aspects of the police have been tossed around. If we believe in abolitionist-based police reform, we must be able to recognize that asking people what their ideal version of expanding community resources looks like is extremely helpful in consideration, meaning there may be something more ideal than what you currently believe. On the other side of that, people who are aggressively supporting our current police force often refuse to think anything is wrong with it at all, which also stunts progress. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

      Within a different avenue, if someone has negative coping mechanisms for stress, they must not sweep them under the rug like they\u2019re no big deal. Instead of saying, \u201cIt\u2019s not a problem. I don\u2019t even do it that much,\u201d we have to acknowledge that something is wrong in the first place. Similarly, if their friend tries to suggest a behavior to replace the negative one, the friend shouldn\u2019t believe this is not only the best way, but the only way to live at all. This again goes back to approaching the confrontation, proving the person with negative coping mechanisms probably isn\u2019t trying to have them, but they have to want to get better. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

      1. The conversation will be more honest and productive. <\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n

        No matter what perspective of any argument you\u2019re coming from, it\u2019s always easy to get caught up in the moment and shift the conversation to personal attacks and angry comments. When we remove these behaviors, we make room for facts, experiences, and true perspectives. An open mind allows the full extent of each perspective to be expressed. This means that at the end of the conversation, even if the two people end up disagreeing, they then can say, \u201cI don\u2019t agree, but I see where they\u2019re coming from,\u201d which results in a lot less bashing and overall hostility. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

        \u201cHow I Realized There\u2019s Enough Pretty to Go Around\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

        It\u2019s a joke among my friends and family that as a child, I was rather\u2026 sure of myself. Some may choose the word conceited, but we\u2019ll go with extraordinarily confident. Obviously, many kids have problems recognizing the positive characteristics they share with others; likewise, I was too busy basking in self-love to see that there were other girls who were also<\/em> pretty and smart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

        At some point, though, a middle school girl who couldn\u2019t bear the idea of leaving the house without makeup started replacing my overwhelming amount of self-assuredness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

        Over my six years of social media usage, I started incorporating a rather unhealthy habit of comparison into my daily routine, and I didn\u2019t recognize its severity until I found myself on another girl\u2019s instagram before I went to bed wishing and praying I could have the ever-so-perfect highlight real she portrayed on her profile. Eventually, I became rather upset that this was such a large focus of my day-to-day, but instead of taking action steps to alleviate these self-inflicted unhealthy habits, I let them be. I chose to ignore them, acting like I had no reason to fix anything since I identified the issue already. What more could I possibly need?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

        It\u2019s irrational to treat our personal setbacks aside like a book laying around we\u2019ve been meaning to read for six years. See, the only way to actually get past the habit of comparison was to allow myself to get upset every now and then. I had <\/em>to stop ignoring the problem. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

        So, I started trying. Slowly but surely, I\u2019d catch myself lurking on someone\u2019s page, but then I\u2019d recognize the lies I constantly used to tell myself and do my best to lift my spirits with positivity. One day, scrolling on VSCO, I saw a picture that said, \u201cJust because she\u2019s pretty doesn\u2019t mean you\u2019re not.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

        \u201cJust because she\u2019s pretty doesn\u2019t mean you\u2019re not.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n


        Okay. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

        What next?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

        Now, I wish that seeing a sweet, empowering picture on VSCO would entirely change my perspective on life. I wish I could say I never so much as negatively batted an eyelash afterwards, but that\u2019s not the case. What it did mean was that from then on, when the cursed comparison crept in, I\u2019d remind myself that there was enough pretty to go around. Since there\u2019s enough pretty to go around, there\u2019s enough for everyone to be pretty. Someone else\u2019s beauty doesn\u2019t disqualify your own. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

        I used to think that if I was as \u201cpretty\u201d as the girls I compared myself to, I\u2019d never have another issue. I thought that the pretty people were works of art, and I ran around the margins. Understanding that there\u2019s enough pretty to go around correlates directly with understanding that no one is exempt from sadness. There will always be someone who disappoints us, and there will always be an adversary. There will be no shortage of negativity or sadness. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

        We play with the cards we\u2019re dealt, but because too many people end up hating their hands, I think our vision of the game is skewed. Something about growing up made me start hating my cards, and that\u2019s not unique to me. Little, overly-confident Erin held closely to her dear Queen of Hearts, but I think it\u2019s time to stop trying to paint the white roses red. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

        \n\n\n\n

        My name is Erin Harrison and I\u2019m a 17-year-old girl from Tupelo, Mississippi. I had a rather tedious journey learning to accept myself in middle school, so when I finally made progress, I wanted to help others make some too. I started a project I like to call \u201cI Feel Pretty\u201d to mentor middle school girls on overcoming insecurity, friendship quarrels, and even different kinds of abuse at home. I spend most of my time babysitting, mentoring adolescents, and hanging out with friends. If you\u2019re interested in my project, check out my website: https:\/\/fox-seadragon-7z3b.squarespace.com\/about-me?noredirect<\/a>. <\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

        Lately, more so than usual, social media has been flooded with opinions. Because people are being more vocal about their beliefs, others grow more hostile defending their own in response. Rational discussions are too commonly few and far between. 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