{"id":64513,"date":"2019-05-21T19:15:51","date_gmt":"2019-05-22T03:15:51","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/?p=64513"},"modified":"2019-05-21T19:15:51","modified_gmt":"2019-05-22T03:15:51","slug":"mind-de-clutter-7-things-to-stop-telling-yourself","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/mind-de-clutter-7-things-to-stop-telling-yourself\/","title":{"rendered":"Mind De-Clutter: 7 Things to Stop Telling Yourself"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>

\u201cI don\u2019t like myself. I\u2019m crazy about myself,\u201d said Mae West.<\/p>\n

People tend to be too harsh on themselves, thus subconsciously fostering a negative self-image.<\/p>\n

Many of us have that little, nagging voice in our head saying \u201cYou\u2019re not good enough!\u201d or \u201cYou\u2019re never going to make it.\u201d<\/p>\n

These seemingly harmless insecurities slowly erode our self-esteem and confidence which can have a serious impact on the way we perceive things and cope with life\u2019s challenges.<\/p>\n

If you want to be happier and live a more satisfied life, cut yourself some slack.<\/p>\n

Start being kinder to yourself.<\/p>\n

And stop telling yourself these 7 things.<\/p>\n

1. I\u2019m So Stupid!<\/h2>\n

OK, there are times when the things you do turn out to not exactly be a good idea.<\/p>\n

An inappropriate remark you made about a colleague?<\/p>\n

Spending your last cent on those expensive, fancy shoes?<\/p>\n

Making a really dumb business move?<\/p>\n

Been there, done that.<\/p>\n

You can legitimately ask yourself after any of those incidents \u201cWhat the heck was I thinking?\u201d<\/p>\n

It\u2019s true that certain things you do qualify as stupid, but that doesn\u2019t mean that you<\/em> are too.<\/p>\n

And this tiny difference puts things into perspective and helps you avoid the trap of internalizing the situations in which you act daft.<\/p>\n

In other words, you need to understand that acting<\/em> stupid and being<\/em> stupid are two completely different things.<\/p>\n

This doesn\u2019t absolve you of the blame and responsibility for your actions and give you a free pass to do whatever you please not thinking about the consequences however.<\/p>\n

So, whenever you\u2019re compelled to exclaim that you\u2019re stupid for doing this or that, mind your language and say \u201cI did something stupid.\u201d<\/p>\n

2. I Hate My Body<\/h2>\n

This is one of the worst things you can tell yourself.<\/p>\n

Social media, TV and print commercials and the fashion industry are constantly raising the bar and setting unrealistic expectations when it comes to beauty standards, and it\u2019s hard not to compare yourself to all those impossibly and yet effortlessly slender and attractive models and celebrities.<\/p>\n

Many people are increasingly sensitive to their physical appearance, and at the same time, they\u2019re too judgmental when it comes to their perceived imperfections.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s OK to strive to become the best version of yourself, but negative self-talk won\u2019t get you very far.<\/p>\n

Obsessing about your weight, nose, or teeth is something that can have some serious consequences on your self-esteem, so instead of standing in front of the mirror analyzing your \u201cflabby stomach\u201d, \u201cbig nose\u201d, or \u201cyellow, crooked teeth\u201d, focus on what you like about your looks.<\/p>\n

The trick is to take care of your body, train, eat clean, and try to improve what you can, but avoid negative qualifications.<\/p>\n

Also, change your point of view and recognize every positive change that you notice as that will motivate you to persist.<\/p>\n

3. I Can\u2019t Do It<\/h2>\n

The thing is that you\u2019re more capable than you realize.<\/p>\n

You are most probably just too insecure and afraid of failure. And it\u2019s this crippling fear that paralyzes you mentally and prevents you from trying.<\/p>\n

As this belief is deeply rooted in your mind, you need to become aware of it and try to summon all your willpower in order to change it.<\/p>\n

One way out of this blind alley is embracing failure. Once you realize that the world won\u2019t end if you try and not succeed, a huge burden will fall off your chest, and it will be much easier to apply for that job you used to think was out of your league or ask for a raise.<\/p>\n

Another useful thing to do is change your narrative \u2013 tell yourself \u201cI can do it!\u201d<\/p>\n

At first, you\u2019ll have to fake that sense of self-confidence, but with every seemingly impossible thing you achieve (or even fail to achieve), you\u2019ll be able to dispel that dark cloud of fear, doubt, and insecurity.<\/p>\n

4. My Life Sucks<\/h2>\n

Life isn\u2019t always fair.<\/p>\n

And this applies to everybody, not just you, even though Instagram might claim otherwise.<\/p>\n

When you look at snaps of all those shining, happy people who don\u2019t seem to have a single care in the world and who spend their days having fun with their equally cool friends, traveling around the globe and dining at Michelin-Star restaurants, you feel as if you\u2019re the biggest loser ever.<\/p>\n

Yes, the grass is always greener on the other side, and even psychology recognizes the detrimental effect social media has on our lives<\/a>. Recent studies have shown that there\u2019s a link between using social media and depression<\/a>, as well as other mental health issues.<\/p>\n

Again, focusing on the good things in your life and coming to terms that not everything can be as we\u2019ve planned can help you break that vicious circle of despair and dissatisfaction.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s also a good idea to cut down on your social media time and do something that will make you feel better, such as taking a walk or going for a drink with your friends.<\/p>\n

\u00a05. Nobody Loves Me<\/h2>\n

Whenever you feel compelled to say this to yourself, remember that it can\u2019t be further from the truth, because there\u2019s always you.<\/p>\n

And you love yourself, right?<\/p>\n

This is something that most of us say when we\u2019re consumed by self-pity and when we\u2019re feeling down.<\/p>\n

But the problem is that if you keep on telling yourself that you\u2019re not worthy of love, you subconsciously start behaving in a manner that prevents you from meeting that someone special.<\/p>\n

You stop going out and attending parties, not to mention that you refuse your friends\u2019 attempts to introduce you to new people.<\/p>\n

On top of it all, the feeling that you\u2019re in a dark place affects your demeanor which means that you\u2019ll be off Mr\/Mrs Right\u2019s radar.<\/p>\n

6. I Give Up<\/h2>\n

We\u2019re all sick and tired of everything, and that\u2019s OK.<\/p>\n

But if you keep on repeating these three words to yourself, they will be stuck in your head, and you\u2019ll start believing that it\u2019s the only option you\u2019ve got.<\/p>\n

Life is full of hurdles, but it\u2019s what makes it exciting and dynamic.<\/p>\n

Whenever you\u2019re on the verge of waving the white flag, take a break and try to remember the times when you felt the same and when you faced a seemingly insurmountable problem.<\/p>\n

Ask yourself how things panned out back then and you\u2019ll realize that you managed to overcome numerous roadblocks over the course of your life.<\/p>\n

And this one is no different, but overthinking gets the better of you.<\/p>\n

What you should do is get some rest and take your mind off the problem for a while.<\/p>\n

7. This Can Only Happen to Me!<\/h2>\n

Or as Adrian Mole succinctly puts it \u201cJust my luck!\u201d<\/p>\n

By blaming that invisible, supernatural entity whose main task is to make your life miserable for everything bad that happens in your life, you actually give up control over your destiny and let yourself go with the flow.<\/p>\n

Again, that fear of being responsible for a potential failure rears its ugly head and turns you into a passive observer of your own life.<\/p>\n

But, what you need to understand is that you\u2019re an agent of change and that you don\u2019t have to take a backseat.<\/p>\n

Things you say to yourself cut deeper than other people\u2019s words, and you need to change your tune for the sake of your well-being. Remember, if you don\u2019t have anything nice to say, don\u2019t say anything at all.<\/p>\n

\n

Rebecca is a freelance translator passionate about her work, and grateful for the travels it has taken her on. She has recently started writing about some of her experiences at RoughDraft<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cI don\u2019t like myself. I\u2019m crazy about myself,\u201d said Mae West. People tend to be too harsh on themselves, thus subconsciously fostering a negative self-image. Many of us have that little, nagging voice in our head saying \u201cYou\u2019re not good … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":14603,"featured_media":65435,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0},"categories":[205,3709,21,6],"tags":[2492,4653,7061,66,4629],"yoast_head":"\nMind De-Clutter: 7 Things to Stop Telling Yourself<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"These seemingly harmless insecurities slowly erode our self-esteem and confidence which can have a serious impact on the way we perceive things and cope with life\u2019s challenges.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" 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