{"id":601,"date":"2008-07-10T05:00:13","date_gmt":"2008-07-10T09:00:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/why-is-it-so-hard-to-be-yourself\/"},"modified":"2013-08-19T07:13:19","modified_gmt":"2013-08-19T15:13:19","slug":"why-is-it-so-hard-to-be-yourself","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/why-is-it-so-hard-to-be-yourself\/","title":{"rendered":"Why Is It So Hard to Be Yourself?"},"content":{"rendered":"
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<\/p>\n

“He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away.”<\/em> ~ Raymond Hull<\/p>\n

\u2018Be yourself!\u2019 This is a common piece of advice, often given before an interview or a date or some other occasion when we need to impress. Sounds like a strange piece of advice, though. How could you not <\/em>be yourself?<\/p>\n

Strange at is seems, we have been conditioned all our lives to behave according to other people\u2019s expectations, to dance to their tune, to let them pull our stings. The truth is that most of us \u2013 unless we have really thought about it and made an effort to change \u2013 are puppets, controlled by the world around us. We crave approval. We need to fit in. In many ways, this is just a characteristic of being human \u2013 we are social animals and need to fit into the group to survive. But this natural and healthy tendency has taken over our lives to such an extent that we are often paralyzed by a fear of the outside world and obsessed by how others see us.<\/p>\n

But what would things look life if you could really \u2018be yourself\u2019?<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t give away your power<\/strong><\/p>\n

“The King is angry. See, he gnaws his lip.”<\/em> ~ Shakespeare, Richard III<\/p>\n

It is impossible to really be yourself when you are worried about how other people perceive you. We all care (at least a little bit) what other people think \u2013 we have been raised to believe that the approval of others is important. And in some ways it is \u2013 other people do have power over us. But the truth is that it doesn\u2019t matter as much as you think; usually it doesn\u2019t matter at all. Sometimes you\u2019ll be flavor of the month; other times you might be public enemy number one. But you cannot control what other people think of you, so why even try?<\/p>\n

Let them think what they will. To give the opinions and thoughts of others so much importance is to make your own life a misery. When you stop giving your power away to other people like this, your life will be so much lighter and easier. To genuinely not care what others think is an amazing and enlightening experience. Try it.
\n
\nLive with integrity<\/strong><\/p>\n

“The great majority of us are required to live a life of constant duplicity. Your health is bound to be affected if, day after day, you say the opposite of what you feel, if you grovel before what you dislike, and rejoice at what brings you nothing but misfortune.” ~ Boris Pasternak<\/em><\/p>\n

Living with integrity means being an open, honest person. It means saying what you think \u2013 not in an arrogant, conceited way, which is usually a sign of an inferiority complex \u2013 but because you shouldn\u2019t hide what you believe. If you are not true to yourself \u2013 if you are dishonest, if you hide part of yourself, either as a defense mechanism or to get a promotion or make money, you will create what I have heard called an \u2018inner darkness,\u2019 and this will haunt you.<\/p>\n

In The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People<\/a>\"\", one of the most widely read and influential self-improvement books of all time, Steven Covey writes that truly successful people operate from a principle-centered paradigm, steering their lives by means of a clear compass of integrity. You might be able to succeed in some senses by being dishonest and duplicitous, but in the end you will be unable to face yourself, and if you cannot look in the mirror with a clear conscience, how can you be yourself?<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t take yourself so seriously<\/strong><\/p>\n

“When you can laugh at yourself, you are free.”<\/em> ~ Ted Loder<\/p>\n

Will the world stop turning if you screw up? Believe it or not, the world got along fine without you for millions of years, and will do so long after you\u2019re gone. So keep things in perspective. Will any of this matter in a year, ten year, 100 years? In many ways, the world is a ridiculous place, full of crazy things that make no sense at all. You can\u2019t make sense of it all however hard you try. It is what it is, and so are you, with all your contradictions and faults and failings. Remember the old saying: \u2018laugh and the world laughs with you.\u2019 So relax, lighten up; don\u2019t get things out of proportion.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t worry: accept things as they are<\/strong><\/p>\n

“The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.”<\/em> ~ Buddha<\/p>\n

We have a tendency to think we are in control. But the truth is that there are surprisingly few things we can influence directly. I read somewhere recently that life is no about avoiding the storm but about learning to dance in the rain, and I think this is a wonderful truth. We spend so much time trying to change our world, but in reality we can only change ourselves. If the rain is coming, it will come; if the sun is setting, it will set. Accept these many, many things which are outside our control and, whatever comes along, learn not only to live with it, but to embrace it, to love it \u2013 to live any other way is madness.<\/p>\n

Do what you love<\/strong><\/p>\n

“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”<\/em> <\/strong>~ Eleanor Roosevelt<\/p>\n

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, don\u2019t let other people tell you what to do and how to live. In the end, you are responsible for your experience of life, and if you don\u2019t follow your dreams, you only have yourself to blame. \u2018You\u2019re a long time dead\u2019 as the saying goes, so don\u2019t waste time with worry or regret . Don\u2019t be a puppet \u2013 don\u2019t let the world around you pull your strings. You cannot control it, so don\u2019t let it control you either. If you are true to yourself and live with integrity, honesty and without fear, then you will, perhaps, begin to see the answer to that most perplexing of questions: “Who am I?”<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

This guest article was written by Michael Miles. Michael writes about using your mind as nature intended at his blog, Effortless Abundance<\/a>. If you enjoyed this article, you may like to subscribe to his RSS feed<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n

Image by *Zara<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

“He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away.” ~ Raymond Hull \u2018Be yourself!\u2019 This is a common piece of advice, often given before an interview or a date or some other occasion when we need to … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12163,"featured_media":602,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0},"categories":[21],"tags":[965,2903],"yoast_head":"\nBe Yourself<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"\u2018Be yourself!\u2019 This is a common piece of advice, often given before an interview or a date or some other occasion when we need to impress. Sounds like a strange piece of advice, though. 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