{"id":59120,"date":"2018-08-16T19:02:01","date_gmt":"2018-08-17T03:02:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/?p=59120"},"modified":"2018-08-19T18:50:06","modified_gmt":"2018-08-20T02:50:06","slug":"5-questions-couples-should-ask-before-a-relationship-according-to-experts","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/5-questions-couples-should-ask-before-a-relationship-according-to-experts\/","title":{"rendered":"5 Questions Couples Should Ask Before a Relationship (According to Experts)"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>

Relationships can be hard sometimes. Imagine spending the rest of your life in a dull, motionless relationship with someone you can’t stand. Not cool, is it?<\/p>\n

When you`re dating, there are lots of reason to take someone home. He`s slick, she`s hot, or you just want to fill the void made by someone else.<\/p>\n

Regardless of the reasons, if you date the wrong person you`ll regret it, and it may be too late for it. For that, I`ve made you a list of the top five questions relationship experts believe you should ask before choosing your future wife or hubby. Here they are:<\/p>\n

Relationship Question #1: Am I dating for fun or marriage?<\/h2>\n

\u201cThe most prominent dating mistake is to look for a fling instead of a long-term partner,\u201d says Athol Kay, author of The Married Man Sex Life<\/a>. Once things get serious, and the sex gets a little colder, you`ll begin to worry if your partner is husband\/wife material.<\/p>\n

Kay believes you should ask the \u201cIs he\/she the right person for me?\u201d question early on before shit hits the fan. He recommends that you create a detailed image of your perfect partner. Once you know what you want, go out there and date only those who can come close to your ideal plan.<\/p>\n

Want another opinion?<\/p>\n

There`s a cool mathematic method you can use to find your perfect match. Matt Parker, the famous author<\/a>, and mathematic communicator suggests you go out with ten people and pinpoint the one who has rocked your world the most.<\/p>\n

And no, you won`t marry this person. You`ll compare him\/her with any future date till you find someone who rocks your world even better —that`s your perfect match.<\/p>\n

Relationship Question #2: Do they have a healthy relationship with their family?<\/h2>\n

\u201cNever marry a man who hates his mother because he’ll end up hating you.\u201d<\/em> – Jill Bennett<\/strong><\/p>\n

Ask yourself, \u201cDo I want to be part of this family?\u201d Says Virginia Gilbert<\/a>, the \u00a0Los Angeles-based relationship expert. If it seems like “No,” then maybe you should reconsider your relationship.<\/p>\n

Studies suggest that child-parent relationships affect the way we approach love and marriage. One study<\/a> found that children who experienced high levels of family conflict \u2014 parents fighting, worrying about money, abuse, etc. \u2014 were likelier to get divorced as adults.<\/p>\n

Other studies suggest that a man`s relationship with his mother affects his future affairs significantly: the weaker the bond, the messier his affairs will get.<\/p>\n

Relationship Question #3: Am I ready to deal with their emotional baggage?<\/h2>\n

Everyone has their own baggage but at different intensity.<\/p>\n

Wikipedia defines emotional baggage as the act carrying all the disappointments, wrongs, and trauma<\/a> of the past around. This baggage has many reasons; parental divorce, infidelity, miscarriage, abusive relationships\u2026etc.<\/p>\n

Signs of prior emotional baggage can be:<\/h3>\n
    \n
  1. Projecting doubts<\/a>: They are neither sure of themselves nor sure of you, they project doubts on others and are very quick to form harsh assumptions. They won`t fully trust you without the assistance of a good shrink.<\/li>\n
  2. Compulsive habits: Over-smoking, eating, drinking, gambling are usually coping behaviors for unresolved emotional issues.<\/li>\n
  3. Relationship failure: One failed relationship is never enough to judge a person, but a dozen of them is. A list of failed marriages and breakups can all be signs they won`t stay for the long haul.<\/li>\n
  4. Being on an emotional rollercoaster: They`re unpredictable in a terrible way. One day they`re head over heels for you, the next they can`t even stand your face. Excess drama, overreacting and picking up fights out of nowhere are all signs of emotional instability.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Does this mean your partner must have zero baggage?\u00a0 No, cause no one is 100 percent clean of baggage.<\/p>\n

    This is why\u00a0 Jim Burns and Doug Fields authors of Getting Ready for Marriage Workbook<\/a>, recommend that instead of saying, \u201cHow to marry someone with no emotional baggage?\u201d you should ask yourself, \u201cAm I prepared to deal with their baggage when they surface?\u201d<\/p>\n

    Sometimes baggage is just the result of shockingly bad luck, but many times, it can be a sign of self-control or nag for making terrible decisions.<\/p>\n

    Even no baggage, according to Athol Kay, can say your partner never did anything memorable their whole life.<\/p>\n

    Relationship Question #4: How do we fight?<\/h2>\n

    Arguments are part of every human interaction, but for some people, it can be hard to differentiate<\/a> between verbal abuse and a normal argument.\u00a0 The former will ruin your relationship.<\/p>\n

    The health of a marriage is measured by how clean both sides fight, according to the bestselling authors Alan Loy McGinnis and John Gottman. If your arguments tend to escalate very quickly, then that`s an issue to take seriously before moving forward with your relationship.<\/p>\n

    According to both experts, partners sooth each in healthy fights<\/a> other and seek to share responsibility instead of criticizing, blaming, or maybe using hands.<\/p>\n

    Learn to argue like adults. If you, or your partner, don`t have enough patience or understanding to handle each other,\u00a0 then you should call the whole thing off.<\/p>\n

    Relationship Question #5: Can they handle money?<\/h2>\n

    Experts believe that how both of you handle cash is a serious deal maker\/breaker in the relationships.<\/p>\n

    According to a study<\/a> by Kansas State University, financial disagreements were the strongest disagreement types to predict divorce.<\/p>\n

    Another study<\/a> by the University of North Carolina found that every $10k in student loans lowers marriage desirability by three or four percent.<\/p>\n

    Professor Terri Orbuch, the author of 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage From Good to Great<\/a>, believes you should watch out of any debt problem your partner has, and discuss it with them.<\/p>\n

    \u201cIt`s okay for the partner who finds out about the other\u2019s debt to ask questions, recognize whether it was a one-time situation or a general approach to money and if their partner is trying to fix the situation.\u201d Says Orbuch.<\/p>\n

    If there`s no sign they`ll fix their financial dilemma, then you should leave before their money problems become yours.<\/p>\n

    \u00a0<\/em>Marwan Jamal is a soccer-playing, food-loving, joke-cracking New York-based wellness writer. You can say hi to me\u00a0<\/em>here<\/em><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Relationships can be hard sometimes. Imagine spending the rest of your life in a dull, motionless relationship with someone you can’t stand. Not cool, is it? When you`re dating, there are lots of reason to take someone home. He`s slick, … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":10737,"featured_media":59124,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0},"categories":[38,32,41,58],"tags":[441,6704,4651,4629],"yoast_head":"\n5 Questions Couples Should Ask Before a Relationship (According to Experts)<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Relationships can be hard sometimes. Imagine spending the rest of your life in a dull, motionless relationship with someone you can't stand. Not cool, is it?\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/5-questions-couples-should-ask-before-a-relationship-according-to-experts\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"5 Questions Couples Should Ask Before a Relationship (According to Experts)\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Relationships can be hard sometimes. Imagine spending the rest of your life in a dull, motionless relationship with someone you can't stand. Not cool, is it?\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/5-questions-couples-should-ask-before-a-relationship-according-to-experts\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"http:\/\/www.facebook.com\/pickthebrain\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2018-08-17T03:02:01+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2018-08-20T02:50:06+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/08\/Questions-Couples-Should-Ask-Before-a-Relationship.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"550\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"367\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@pickthebrain\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@pickthebrain\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Marwan Jamal\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"5 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/\",\"name\":\"Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement\",\"description\":\"\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/5-questions-couples-should-ask-before-a-relationship-according-to-experts\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/08\/Questions-Couples-Should-Ask-Before-a-Relationship.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/08\/Questions-Couples-Should-Ask-Before-a-Relationship.jpg\",\"width\":550,\"height\":367,\"caption\":\"Questions Couples Should Ask Before a Relationship\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/5-questions-couples-should-ask-before-a-relationship-according-to-experts\/#webpage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/5-questions-couples-should-ask-before-a-relationship-according-to-experts\/\",\"name\":\"5 Questions Couples Should Ask Before a Relationship (According to Experts)\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/5-questions-couples-should-ask-before-a-relationship-according-to-experts\/#primaryimage\"},\"datePublished\":\"2018-08-17T03:02:01+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2018-08-20T02:50:06+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/779b0fddab7775c22c3c5363a40566cf\"},\"description\":\"Relationships can be hard sometimes. Imagine spending the rest of your life in a dull, motionless relationship with someone you can't stand. Not cool, is it?\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/5-questions-couples-should-ask-before-a-relationship-according-to-experts\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/5-questions-couples-should-ask-before-a-relationship-according-to-experts\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/5-questions-couples-should-ask-before-a-relationship-according-to-experts\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"5 Questions Couples Should Ask Before a Relationship (According to Experts)\"}]},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/779b0fddab7775c22c3c5363a40566cf\",\"name\":\"Marwan Jamal\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/1d65f3a230dd3924d69307691282e594?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/1d65f3a230dd3924d69307691282e594?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Marwan Jamal\"},\"description\":\"MJ is a fitness and health blogger at healthline.com and a great fan of the gym and a healthy diet. He follows the trends in fitness, gym and healthy life and loves to share his knowledge through useful and informative articles.\",\"sameAs\":[\"http:\/\/www.healthline.com\/\"],\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/author\/marwan-jamal\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"5 Questions Couples Should Ask Before a Relationship (According to Experts)","description":"Relationships can be hard sometimes. Imagine spending the rest of your life in a dull, motionless relationship with someone you can't stand. Not cool, is it?","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/5-questions-couples-should-ask-before-a-relationship-according-to-experts\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"5 Questions Couples Should Ask Before a Relationship (According to Experts)","og_description":"Relationships can be hard sometimes. Imagine spending the rest of your life in a dull, motionless relationship with someone you can't stand. Not cool, is it?","og_url":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/5-questions-couples-should-ask-before-a-relationship-according-to-experts\/","og_site_name":"Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement","article_publisher":"http:\/\/www.facebook.com\/pickthebrain","article_published_time":"2018-08-17T03:02:01+00:00","article_modified_time":"2018-08-20T02:50:06+00:00","og_image":[{"width":550,"height":367,"url":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/08\/Questions-Couples-Should-Ask-Before-a-Relationship.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"twitter_card":"summary","twitter_creator":"@pickthebrain","twitter_site":"@pickthebrain","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Marwan Jamal","Est. reading time":"5 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/","name":"Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement","description":"","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/5-questions-couples-should-ask-before-a-relationship-according-to-experts\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/08\/Questions-Couples-Should-Ask-Before-a-Relationship.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/08\/Questions-Couples-Should-Ask-Before-a-Relationship.jpg","width":550,"height":367,"caption":"Questions Couples Should Ask Before a Relationship"},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/5-questions-couples-should-ask-before-a-relationship-according-to-experts\/#webpage","url":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/5-questions-couples-should-ask-before-a-relationship-according-to-experts\/","name":"5 Questions Couples Should Ask Before a Relationship (According to Experts)","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/5-questions-couples-should-ask-before-a-relationship-according-to-experts\/#primaryimage"},"datePublished":"2018-08-17T03:02:01+00:00","dateModified":"2018-08-20T02:50:06+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/779b0fddab7775c22c3c5363a40566cf"},"description":"Relationships can be hard sometimes. Imagine spending the rest of your life in a dull, motionless relationship with someone you can't stand. Not cool, is it?","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/5-questions-couples-should-ask-before-a-relationship-according-to-experts\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/5-questions-couples-should-ask-before-a-relationship-according-to-experts\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/5-questions-couples-should-ask-before-a-relationship-according-to-experts\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"5 Questions Couples Should Ask Before a Relationship (According to Experts)"}]},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/779b0fddab7775c22c3c5363a40566cf","name":"Marwan Jamal","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/1d65f3a230dd3924d69307691282e594?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/1d65f3a230dd3924d69307691282e594?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Marwan Jamal"},"description":"MJ is a fitness and health blogger at healthline.com and a great fan of the gym and a healthy diet. He follows the trends in fitness, gym and healthy life and loves to share his knowledge through useful and informative articles.","sameAs":["http:\/\/www.healthline.com\/"],"url":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/author\/marwan-jamal\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/59120"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/10737"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=59120"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/59120\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/59124"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=59120"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=59120"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=59120"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}