{"id":5877,"date":"2011-04-04T22:45:09","date_gmt":"2011-04-05T06:45:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/?p=5877"},"modified":"2013-09-09T08:26:12","modified_gmt":"2013-09-09T16:26:12","slug":"how-to-stop-worrying-what-other-people-think","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/how-to-stop-worrying-what-other-people-think\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Stop Worrying What Other People Think"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>

<\/a><\/p>\n

Have you ever changed your mind, backed out of something or even given up on a dream … because you were afraid of what someone else might think of you?<\/p>\n

I\u2019m betting that you\u2019re a kind, thoughtful person. You want to make the people around you happy, and \u2013 naturally enough \u2013 you want them to think well of you.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s nothing wrong with that: it\u2019s part of emotional intelligence, and it\u2019s a good thing.<\/p>\n

But it can go too far.<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re constantly worried about what friends, family, colleagues or even strangers in the street might think, then you\u2019re using up a huge amount of energy worrying (and you\u2019re probably holding yourself back from your real goals).<\/p>\n

This is a tough habit to get out of \u2013 but the below steps should help.<\/p>\n

Step #1: Ask Yourself What Matters to You<\/em><\/h2>\n

I sometimes worry what people will think of my clothes, or my hair. The thing is, though, physical appearance really isn\u2019t that important to me. Sure, I like to look presentable \u2013 but I\u2019ve got virtually zero interest in fashion, and I don\u2019t generally wear makeup.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s okay to have different values from the people around you.<\/strong> Maybe you hate cooking, even though your mom thinks you should be preparing a meal from scratch every night. Maybe you can\u2019t stand the gym, even though your best friend works out every day.<\/p>\n

Be clear and honest with yourself about what really matters to you. Sure, other people might judge you for not meeting up to their standards \u2013 but if you\u2019re true to your own goals and values, then you know you\u2019ve got your priorities right.<\/em><\/p>\n

Step #2: Remember That They\u2019re Not All Watching You<\/h2>\n

When I was a teen, I was bullied at school \u2013 and even now I find myself worrying that other people are looking at me, maybe even laughing behind my back.<\/p>\n

The truth is, though, I\u2019m not the centre of the world \u2013 and neither are you! Most of the people around you are far too busy going about their own lives to think much about you.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Maybe you think you said something really dumb<\/em> at that party, or maybe you\u2019re convinced that the zit on your nose is so obvious, or that everyone\u2019s talking about that mistake you made last week … the truth is, they probably haven\u2019t even noticed whatever it is that you\u2019re worrying about.<\/p>\n

Step #3: Recognize That Their Opinion Can\u2019t Hurt You<\/h2>\n

So \u2013 you\u2019re clear about what really matters and you know that you\u2019re not the centre of attention. Still, there\u2019ll be cases where people make a judgment about you. Maybe it\u2019s at work, or when you\u2019re with friends, or just when you\u2019re out and about.<\/p>\n

In most situations, people\u2019s opinions can\u2019t hurt you<\/em>.<\/strong> Sure, that mouthy kid down the road might yell something rude about your haircut, but there\u2019s no way his opinion can affect your life (unless you let it).<\/p>\n

There are a few cases where opinions will make a difference \u2013 for instance, your boss\u2019s opinion of you \u2013 but are you worrying about the people who matter in your life, or the ones who really don\u2019t?<\/p>\n

You could spend your whole life trying to make strangers and casual acquaintances think good things about you (maybe by spending hours doing your hair every single time you set foot outside your house, or by paying for an expensive car that you can\u2019t really afford). The people who really matter, though, your family and friends, are going to love you for who you are.<\/p>\n

Step #4: Accept That You Can\u2019t Control What People Think<\/h2>\n

If you\u2019re a bit of a control-freak like me, this is a tough one \u2013 but you can\u2019t control people\u2019s thoughts<\/em>. You\u2019ve got no idea what might go through their head, or why.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Different people respond in very different ways. Maybe your friend is really impressed when he sees someone wearing a flashy watch \u2013 but you think that person shouldn\u2019t splash money around. Other people will think all sorts of things about you, and their thoughts will say more about them<\/em> than they do about you<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Other people\u2019s thoughts \u2013 good, bad or indifferent \u2013 are their own. Enjoy your own life to the full; you can\u2019t please everyone all of the time, and there\u2019s no need to try to. Next time you\u2019re worrying about what someone might think of you, ask yourself can their thoughts really affect me?<\/em> … and get on with whatever you<\/em> want to do.<\/p>\n

Related Articles:<\/strong><\/p>\n

Finding Bliss: How to Reverse Engineer Happiness <\/a><\/p>\n

The 6 Components of a Happy Life <\/a><\/p>\n

Photo Credit: Kitty Genius<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Have you ever changed your mind, backed out of something or even given up on a dream … because you were afraid of what someone else might think of you?<\/p>\n

I\u2019m betting that you\u2019re a kind, thoughtful person. You want to make the people around you happy, and \u2013 naturally enough \u2013 you want them to think well of you. 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