{"id":5811,"date":"2010-03-29T11:19:42","date_gmt":"2010-03-29T19:19:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/?p=5811"},"modified":"2013-08-21T13:31:17","modified_gmt":"2013-08-21T21:31:17","slug":"why-anger-management-is-costing-you-big-time","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/why-anger-management-is-costing-you-big-time\/","title":{"rendered":"How Your Anger Can Actually Heal You"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>

Anger.\u00a0 It\u2019s hard to live with, harder to live without, right?<\/p>\n

I agree. <\/em><\/p>\n

Whether you are confrontational or passive aggressive, no matter how you handle anger, you and everyone around you is affected by your anger. <\/strong><\/p>\n

Some people will give you techniques to \u201cmanage\u201d it. Others will teach you how to \u201cget rid\u201d of it. I\u2019m sure you\u2019ve even adopted a few homegrown ways to \u201cavoid\u201d it.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I don\u2019t know about you, but none one of those approaches worked well for me.<\/em><\/p>\n

The more I avoided anger, the more it showed up like a bad cold.\u00a0 It never seemed to never go away and there was no vaccine in sight. In between dreading it and trying to outrun it, I tried talking\u00a0 me \u201coff the angry ledge\u201d, as if I could reason with it \u2013 that was a joke.<\/p>\n

At one point I even tried analyzing it, believing if I could know WHY it was there, it would dissipate.\u00a0 But that failed too.
\n <\/em><\/p>\n

The more I focused on anger the more it seemed to come.<\/em><\/p>\n

Is anger a driving force in your life? <\/strong><\/p>\n

To find out, answer these 8 statements from Mental Health<\/a> to see if any ring true for you.<\/strong><\/p>\n

1. <\/strong>I don\u2019t show my anger about everything that makes me mad, but when I do \u2013 look out.<\/p>\n

2. I still get angry when I think of the bad things people did to me in the past.<\/p>\n

3. I sometimes lie awake at night and think about the things that upset me during the day.<\/p>\n

4. I find it very hard to forgive someone who has done me wrong.<\/p>\n

5. I get angry with myself when I lose control of my emotions.<\/p>\n

6. After arguing with someone, I hate myself.<\/p>\n

7. People really irritate me when they don\u2019t behave the way they should, or when they act like they don\u2019t have the good sense of a head of lettuce.<\/p>\n

8. When I get angry, frustrated or hurt, I comfort myself by eating or using alcohol or other drugs.<\/strong><\/p>\n

If you answered \u201ctrue\u201d to any of them \u2013 congrats \u2013 you\u2019re human! <\/em><\/p>\n

If you found #1, #5, #6 or #8 to be true, you tend to like to make YOU wrong when you get angry. If any of the rest were true for you, you\u2019re making EVERYONE ELSE wrong when you get angry.<\/p>\n

Regardless who takes the beating for your temper tantrum, you should know it\u2019s all normal <\/em>– you\u2019re alive! <\/strong><\/p>\n

What isn\u2019t normal is letting anger take over your life.\u00a0 No matter how good it feels at the time, even if you\u2019ve been really \u201cwronged\u201d, it isn\u2019t serving you<\/em>.<\/p>\n

But it could\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

What if you became aware<\/em> of your anger and didn\u2019t resist it?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Trying to suppress your anger, or push it under the carpet to \u201ckeep the peace\u201d is just delaying the inevitable. If you do react, and end up feeling guilty or even worse angry with yourself, you\u2019re telling YOU your feelings don\u2019t matter. (You might even be telling yourself it\u2019s not ok to be angry.)<\/p>\n

How are these techniques working out for you? <\/strong><\/p>\n

How would you feel if I met you, shook your hand, looked you in the eye and simply said, \u201cLet\u2019s get one thing straight, we can only hang out if your emotions never impact my day because I don\u2019t have time for hurt feelings and drama on either side.\u201d <\/em>(Not good, I bet)<\/p>\n

The sad thing is, I don\u2019t need to tell you anything, because you\u2019re doing enough damage on your own! <\/strong><\/p>\n

Every time you ignore your emotions, YOU\u2019RE <\/span>the one confirming YOU don\u2019t matter. <\/em><\/p>\n

Even if someone comes out and says, \u201cYou don\u2019t matter\u201d, <\/em>it means nothing unless you believe <\/em>them. No one can steal your power \u2013 you choose <\/em>to give it away; even trying to ignore it or resist it is futile \u2013 it\u2019s just a matter of time until it surfaces.<\/p>\n

Trying to resist anger by ignoring it is like starving and not eating despite the fact there\u2019s a plate of food right in front of you. The more you focus on your hunger, the hungrier you usually get. Even if you\u2019re able to ignore you\u2019re hunger for a while, it will still be there later. (You might even be even hungrier, right??)<\/p>\n

Why would being angry be any different than being hungry? <\/strong><\/p>\n

You can use anger to see what is really happening, acknowledge it, and be grateful for the opportunity to clear the block you already had. Accepting the situation \u201cas is\u201d and finding the common trigger for the situations you\u2019re holding onto will give you clarity to see the lesson you keep bringing to yourself. <\/strong><\/p>\n

Put a different meaning to this \u201clesson\u201d anger is bringing to you.\u00a0 It\u2019s just doing its job \u2013 trying to get you to pay attention<\/em>!<\/strong><\/p>\n

Any person who evokes any <\/em>emotion, \u201cgood\u201d or \u201cbad\u201d, should be seen as an angel who is trying to help you see the truth.\u00a0 Your alleged enemies, the job you hate, or the verbally abusive relationship you might be in are just your way of bringing to you the emotions you require to experience in order to grow.<\/p>\n

You are powerful.<\/p>\n

You are loved.<\/p>\n

And no one has the power to make you feel or be anything you don\u2019t want to experience. <\/em><\/p>\n

Stop resisting emotions like anger or sadness and accept you need them to experience growth.\u00a0 Through a higher sense of awareness you can give them the space to come and go which will give you a feeling of incredible freedom \u2013 finally knowing there is nothing for you to \u201cdo\u201d or \u201cchange\u201d or \u201csolve\u201d!<\/p>\n

Implement this one tiny shift towards the meaning you place on your emotions to start feeling OUTRAGEOUSLY<\/em><\/strong> delicious!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Anger.\u00a0 It\u2019s hard to live with, harder to live without, right? I agree. Whether you are confrontational or passive aggressive, no matter how you handle anger, you and everyone around you is affected by your anger. Some people will give … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12163,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0},"categories":[1271],"tags":[2306,3198,3199,2831,3087],"yoast_head":"\nHow Your Anger Can Actually Heal You - Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Anger. 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