{"id":57896,"date":"2018-06-12T19:28:35","date_gmt":"2018-06-13T03:28:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/?p=57896"},"modified":"2018-06-12T19:28:35","modified_gmt":"2018-06-13T03:28:35","slug":"6-strategies-for-becoming-less-defensive","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/6-strategies-for-becoming-less-defensive\/","title":{"rendered":"6 Strategies for Becoming Less Defensive"},"content":{"rendered":"
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If you\u2019ve ever been accused of getting defensive or going on long tangents to prove a point to no end, then maybe you have a quick-to-react personality. Maybe someone told you that you get defensive all the time and you had to take a minute to check yourself. If this sounds like you then you want to keep reading.<\/p>\n

Being defensive isn\u2019t always a bad thing but when you find yourself doing it over every little thing just for the sake of argument you aren\u2019t doing yourself any favors. On top of that, it\u2019s frustrating and annoying to the people around you. The root of the problem is likely that you have trouble taking criticism, even if it is constructive. Often you have trouble taking responsibility<\/a> for your actions and you’re always finding someone else to blame. Your defensiveness is coming from a place of being insecure and thinking that you’re not good enough.<\/p>\n

Being defensive doesn\u2019t mean you are a terrible person who loves to argue. If anything you feel like other people always get you going and you feel cornered into defending yourself or your position.<\/p>\n

Maybe you feel like you aren’t doing anything wrong but are sick of always feeling the urge to argue back. It is especially frustrating to you when it\u2019s friends, family or your significant other because you don\u2019t want to fight with them. Positive communication is extremely important to maintain healthy relationships. If you are unable to receive criticism without feeling personally attacked it can stunt your personal growth as an individual. This can affect your work life, your love life, and your friendships. To gain the ability to control your emotions, and take a step back to look at the situation for what it is, will have a major impact on the conversations you have with others.<\/p>\n

Practice these 6 strategies to conquer your emotions to not let them get the best of you.<\/p>\n

Constantly check yourself <\/b><\/p>\n

If you find your blood starting to rise in response to what someone else is saying, do not react. Do not act on what your feeling. When we have an, in the moment reaction, often times we aren’t thinking rationally. Think to yourself what you would say, and then turn the heat off. Instead, say to yourself, “it\u2019s not worth it”. You don\u2019t have to agree but you don\u2019t have to disagree either. If the other person has made their point they\u2019ll likely just leave it at that.<\/p>\n

Step away from the conversation<\/b><\/p>\n

If someone else is being irrational and you feel like they are just trying to egg you on then be the bigger person and remove yourself from the conversation. If you partake in an argument with someone who is acting like this there will never be a winner and you will both end up PO\u2019ed<\/p>\n

Press Pause<\/b><\/p>\n

Is what they are saying actually offensive or are you being overly sensitive to their criticism? Is there truth to what they are saying? Try to see what you can learn from the conversation and don\u2019t let it affect you beyond that. There is no reason to get upset. What other people say is merely a matter of opinion. If their opinion holds weight, great take it into consideration. If it doesn\u2019t, who cares what they say anyway, it\u2019s just the opinion of one person.<\/p>\n

React in a calm manner <\/b><\/p>\n

If you have to respond then respond in a calm manner. Make I feel statements, \u201cI feel differently about that\u201d. Don\u2019t tell others that their opinions are wrong or flat out that you don\u2019t agree with them. If you can find something about what they\u2019re saying that you do agree with and make a point to talk about the one thing you do agree on then just listen or excuse yourself from the conversation.<\/p>\n

Learn how to receive criticism<\/b><\/p>\n

You get defensive whenever anyone tries to give you criticism about what you can do better. Your immediate thoughts are, well what do they know\u201d or \u201cthat\u2019s just not even true\u201d. Don\u2019t go there right away. Consider what they\u2019re saying. You are not perfect and no one expects you to be, so listen to what the other person is saying and find some truth in it.<\/p>\n

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My name is Carly and I am the creator and blogger for Sheissolucky.com I named my blog this because I always thought that the reason people had better lives than I did was that they got lucky. I realized you don’t need to be\u00a0lucky to have a good life, you need to figure out what makes you happy, and the rest will follow. My belief is that you can have, do and be whatever you want you just have to find your starting point. I want to help you find your starting point. I want to help you achieve happiness. Check me out here<\/a>!<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

If you\u2019ve ever been accused of getting defensive or going on long tangents to prove a point to no end, then maybe you have a quick-to-react personality. Maybe someone told you that you get defensive all the time and you … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":13112,"featured_media":57897,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0},"categories":[3709,21,6],"tags":[5305,4641,66,4635,54,4629,3637],"yoast_head":"\n6 Strategies for Becoming Less Defensive<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Being defensive isn\u2019t always a bad thing but when you find yourself doing it over every little thing just for the sake of argument you aren\u2019t doing yourself any favors. 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