{"id":57591,"date":"2018-05-28T18:48:08","date_gmt":"2018-05-29T02:48:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/?p=57591"},"modified":"2018-05-30T19:25:09","modified_gmt":"2018-05-31T03:25:09","slug":"10-habits-and-misunderstandings-to-toss","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/10-habits-and-misunderstandings-to-toss\/","title":{"rendered":"10 Habits and Misunderstandings To Toss"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>

Most of us associate spring-cleaning with physical objects. We roll up our sleeves and clear out our closets and drawers. If we\u2019re feeling ambitious or preparing to move we might even tackle the attic or garage. We know we have too much stuff. We want to lighten out load. It feels great when we release our junk and shed what no longer serves us. Our lives benefit tremendously when we do this on the physical plane, but also in the\u00a0psychological<\/i>\u00a0realm. It\u2019s important to know that it is safe to let go. Here are a few things you can \u201ctoss\u201d that will make a huge difference in your life.<\/p>\n

1.\u00a0Worry. <\/strong><\/h1>\n

Stop future-tripping. \u201cWorry is a meditation on shit,\u201d Mark Ruffalo says in the film,\u00a0Thanks for Sharing<\/i>. I\u2019d add \u201cfuture<\/i>\u00a0shit.\u201d Worry is a warped form of mental preparedness; we think that if we worry about something we\u2019ll be prepared for it. Don Joseph Goewey, author of\u00a0The End of Stress<\/i>, discusses a study that proves that 85{54c12dad2cc2b53ae830e39915b1a3e70288dbcbbeb8bbf8395437c5dc3c512c} of what we worry about never happens. And he quotes the great essayist Michel de Montaigne, who wrote, \u201cMy life has been filled with terrible misfortune; most of which never happened.\u201d<\/p>\n

2.\u00a0The Illusion of Control. <\/strong><\/h1>\n

Give it up. Surrender your resistance to those things over which you have zero control. We humans love to believe we\u2019re in control! We exert what appears to be our control in large and small ways, but sooner or later we find ourselves up against forces\u00a0beyond<\/i>\u00a0our control. The healthiest thing to do at times like this is to accept what is. This is not always easy, especially when things don\u2019t go our way. We might kick and scream inside, or throw an actual tantrum, but sooner or later if we don\u2019t accept the truth of our circumstances, we\u2019ll exacerbate our own suffering<\/p>\n

3.\u00a0Preoccupation with Others\u2019 Thoughts\u2014Especially About You. <\/strong><\/h1>\n

What other people think of you is none of your business! You\u2019ve heard this, right?\u00a0 Believe it. Make it a mantra:\u00a0What other people think of me is none of my business<\/i>. Be your own person. Listen to your own wisdom. You will make mistakes, and you will learn from them. Or they will return until you have learned your lessons.<\/p>\n

4.\u00a0The Old I\u2019m-Not-Good-Enough Story. <\/strong><\/h1>\n

Don\u2019t believe the lie that you\u2019re not good enough. I don\u2019t care who you are or what you\u2019ve done\u2014you\u00a0are<\/i>\u00a0good enough. You are a human being worthy of love and respect. You are on your path. You may get lost, but that\u2019s part of the journey. No one person is better than another. Being rich doesn\u2019t make you better. Success doesn\u2019t make you better. You\u2019re not better because of a fancy education or because of your dress size. There is no better. We are all equally worthy. Let go of your doubts, show up, and do the best you can. There\u2019s no one to impress. No judges evaluating your every move. Life is an adventure. Play the game your way.<\/p>\n

5.\u00a0Unproductive fear. <\/strong><\/h1>\n

Know the difference between\u00a0productive<\/i>\u00a0and\u00a0unproductive<\/i>\u00a0fear. Productive fear is a response to a real threat in our environment. It is present-moment-focused and keeps us safe. Destructive fear happens in our heads. It stems from our imagination, from scary or unpleasant stories we tell ourselves about something that happened in the past or that might (but probably won\u2019t) happen in the future. It\u2019s important to start to identify the two and how they show up in your life.\u00a0(<\/b>I discuss this further in my essay \u201cWriting Naked: The Benefits of Exposing Yourself Through Memoir,\u201d published in\u00a0The Magic of Memoir<\/i>\u00a0and excerpted in MindBodyGreen.)<\/p>\n

6.\u00a0The Need for Certainty. <\/strong><\/h1>\n

Give it up. Uncertainty is one of the few certainties of life. While some people may have some psychic ability, most of us don\u2019t know what\u2019s going to happen in the future. Needing to know what\u2019s impossible to know causes suffering.<\/p>\n

7.\u00a0Retail Therapy. <\/strong><\/h1>\n

Stay out of stores. Spending money may make you feel better for a little while, but its satisfaction is short-lived. In fact, you will feel worse than you felt before your spree if you spent money you didn\u2019t have on stuff you don\u2019t need. Which leads to #8.<\/p>\n

8.\u00a0Clutter. <\/strong><\/h1>\n

Resist the temptation to crowd your space. Every object you own has energy attached to it; it is as if each object had invisible strings connecting us to it. After a while, these invisible strings begin to weigh us down. And if you\u2019re surrounded by stuff you don\u2019t like, it robs you of energy, and even prevents the flow of energy around you. So assess your space to see what you might be able to let go of.<\/p>\n

9.\u00a0Comparisons. <\/strong><\/h1>\n

All comparisons are hateful.\u00a0 It is a waste of your precious time and energy to compare yourself with anybody else. Facebook has made this unfortunate habit difficult to avoid. What\u2019s worse is that we compare our interior lives with other people\u2019s\u00a0outer<\/i>\u00a0ones. Things are rarely as they appear, especially on social media. Don\u2019t compare yourself to anyone but the person you aspire to be.<\/p>\n

10.\u00a0Anger.<\/strong><\/h1>\n

Forgive yourself and others. Holding onto your anger is like carrying a burning coal in your hand; the only one it\u2019s hurting is you.<\/p>\n

Spring-cleaning is great any time of year. It feels good to let go of things\u2014physical as well as mental\u2014that don\u2019t serve you. Clearing habits that prevent you from living the large and luminous life you are meant to live will free you. Take stock. Be honest. Pay attention. Know you are safe no matter what. Create space for inspiration and magic to enter your life. It may be easier to let go of physical things first. Go ahead. Start there. Be brave. Toss ten things you don\u2019t need today! And while you\u2019re cleaning, ideas might just pop into your mind regarding deeper clearing efforts. Stay open, listen to your own wisdom and inspiration, and have fun!<\/p>\n

\n

Bella<\/span>\u00a0Mahaya Carter is the author of\u00a0Secrets of My Sex<\/em>. Her poems, essays, articles, and short fiction have appeared in\u00a0The Sun<\/em>,\u00a0mindbodygreen<\/em>,\u00a0Lilith<\/em>,\u00a0Literary Mama<\/em>, and elsewhere. Her work has been anthologized in\u00a0The Magic of Memoir: Inspiration for the Writing Journey<\/em>;\u00a0Grandmothers\u2019 Necklace<\/em>; and\u00a0Writing Our Way Out of the Dark: An Anthology of Literary Acts of Bravery<\/em>. Carter, who studied dance at The Juilliard School, practices creative movement and writing as vehicles for personal transformation and spiritual connection. She is a writing teacher, developmental editor, and empowerment coach, with a lifelong passion for creativity, health, and healing. She is a featured columnist on\u00a0SheWrites.com<\/a>. Her new book is\u00a0Raw: My Journey from Anxiety to Joy<\/a><\/em>. You can connect with\u00a0Bella<\/span>\u00a0on\u00a0Facebook<\/a>\u00a0and\u00a0Instagram<\/a>\u00a0and learn more about her\u00a0at\u00a0www.bellamahayacarter.com<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Most of us associate spring-cleaning with physical objects. We roll up our sleeves and clear out our closets and drawers. If we\u2019re feeling ambitious or preparing to move we might even tackle the attic or garage. We know we have … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":13208,"featured_media":57690,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0},"categories":[205,6],"tags":[114,116,1745,6604,66,4629],"yoast_head":"\n10 Habits and Misunderstandings To Toss<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Our lives benefit tremendously when we do this on the physical plane, but also in the\u00a0psychological\u00a0realm. It\u2019s important to know that it is safe to let go. 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